What The Point?

[kayo]

Not so long ago, The Gentlemen Scamp posted a Topic. That topic was, "How much of you is the REAL you?"

I feel I posted honestly, and you can all find that response on page one of the thread, within this Hong Klay Khriaat forum.

In recent times, since Hurricane Stan, a lot of our local friends have been acting, or behaving, in manners quite unbecoming. Getting more carried away with their Central American Drugs for example, which previously had been used only recreationally. Drinking to excess, leading to all the usual outcomes> Wives beaten, or worse... Fighting, or worse, etc....

We at the bar have observed this behavioural change in a number of our good friends, which has ultimately led us to change, adapt our style a little bit, along the lines of the following age old motto>

On the street, you are my friend. In my bar, your are our client.

It's unfortunate, but it's the result of the behaviour of many people, that uis detrimental to the bar. For example, the tab: Drink all night on tab, as always, and either pay at the end, or at least sign for it.

Now, what happens, is people get so ######ed up they end up having to leave, or in a couple of cases, I've had to physically throw friends out on the street.

This, of course, leaves no time for signatures, or money collection.

As they are supposed friends, we have hoped that they would drop by the next day, calmer, regained the senses, maybe even as much as an apology, and pay the bill... Unfortunately, with many that had not happened, as they just continue to <deleted> themselves up day in, day out. When in a state of high acceleration, modesty, humility, and conscienciousness are not exactly at the top of the agenda.

We've lost a lot of friends in the past two months. A lot of them, now go around town talking bad about us.

We don't really care too much about that. We are solid, and clear of negative conscious, with regards to drug abuse, and ill treatment of friends.

We are tryign to run a good place, and do not indulge more than occasionaly. We want the place to be the best around these parts in the years to come.

We are responsible.

So, what is it all worth? Why give the best of yourself, if continuously people try to walk all over you? Try to abuse the goodness you give?

I'm no saint. Never was and never pretend to be. I DO however try to give the best of myself. Here on the forum, equally to in my real world.

I try, and it comes quite naturally, to enjoy life, and give happiness as well as partake in the happiness of others.

Why then? Why do I do it? Why does my boss?

Why?

Sure we could defend ourselves from the bullsh*t, but you know, we're are really not into the machisto sh/t and as I said, our consciences are clear, so we don't see why we should stoop to the level of people who abuse our kindness.

Let 'em have their cake and eat it too. When they are done, they will have no cake left.

I still know how to bake another.

[Patsycat]

The problem is that you me and Mr "over there" are too nice and we advertise the fact that we can be walked all over... Never stop being nice and kind to people. But look over your shoulder all the time - sad but true. People have taken advantage of my kindness for years (moneywise, roof over their head - wise, food wise, booze wise, illegal substance - wise etc. etc) and never given anything back to me, and i still let them do it. Why? That's just me, i guess. The way i was brought up and i don't regret anything. But recently i have put a stop to all that and become a real money pinching b-itch. And am now going up to people i haven't seen for years to get the Swiss Francs back that i lent them three years ago, and they think i had forgotten... But do i get the cash - never!!!! Live and let live...

[Mighty Mouse]

The best way to lose friends is to lend them money, or in Kayo's case, extend credit to them. (same thing really)

Having lent money to someone, there is nothing worse than having to remind them to pay it back. That's usually when things start getting nasty.

If you are a bar/restaurant owner, you should display a sign stating that no credit will be given.

You should be strict about the application of that rule. If friends complain, then you couldn't classify them as good friends.

I know of some kind hearted Pattaya bar owners who are the greatest people and who often go out of their way to privately help their customers, but if those customers buy drinks/meals, they are expected to pay before they leave the premises.

Don't let kindness interfere with common sense, particularly in business.

[Patsycat]

We are just softies - i always think that what i give i will get back. But it doesn't work like that, does it? I'm not saying that i don't have friends who help me out when i need it but i just feel that i give alot and don't receive very much "in kind". But, saying that, i am never going to change - I actually did not eat for two days because i had to buy cat food! They eat before me..

[kayo]

The best way to lose friends is to lend them money, or in Kayo's case, extend credit to them. (same thing really)

Having lent money to someone, there is nothing worse than having to remind them to pay it back. That's usually when things start getting nasty.

If you are a bar/restaurant owner, you should display a sign stating that no credit will be given.

You should be strict about the application of that rule. If friends complain, then you couldn't classify them as good friends.

I know of some kind hearted Pattaya bar owners who are the greatest people and who often go out of their way to privately help their customers, but if those customers buy drinks/meals, they are expected to pay before they leave the premises.

Don't let kindness interfere with common sense, particularly in business.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good post Mighty Mouse.

Thank you.

We are just softies - i always think that what i give i will get back.  But it doesn't work like that, does it?  I'm not saying that i don't have friends who help me out when i need it but i just feel that i give alot and don't receive very much "in kind".  But, saying that, i am never going to change -  I actually did not eat for two days because i had to buy cat food!  They eat before me..

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I agre. My dog I used to have -Scruffy Victoria Kakchiq Opopo - Scruffles for short, always ate before me.

It's not so much about the physical objects exchanged, lent, shared though. It's more about the attitiude... But yeah, as I inferred (amongst a lot more) from MM post, friends are usually the ugliest, when it comes to paying bills, money lent, etc... Even though some have extended credit, they get ugly when confronted.

My philosophy is to at least pay a part of it, or if you really can't, explain that you can not right now, and explain that you will think more seriously about paying part of it when you are able... that I can accept and most graciously will; extend the if not the credit, at least the time given to pay it back. .... Don't get ugly on my arse though.

But it's more about the attitude.

What friend are you? goes through my head sometimes.

I owe somebody money. Somebody on this board in fact. I'm a little tight for cash, and I've explained that to him, I think quite clearly.

I hope that the fact that I owe him money, will never affect our friendship, and that is why I have tried to communicate clearly with him.

[khall64au]

Kayo.... you go through this life , hopefully depending on you. Sometimes it doesn't work out that way.. lucky for me my mum saved me this month! I'm sooooooooooo lucky she did!

Now, my luck will turn around and ............???????????

[khall64au]

I agre. My dog I used to have -Scruffy Victoria Kakchiq Opopo - Scruffles for short, always ate before

I wub that dog too..............

Kayo... will we ever hear from our fan club?

xoxoxoxo

[khall64au]

I agre. My dog I used to have -Scruffy Victoria Kakchiq Opopo - Scruffles for short, always ate before

  I wub that dog too..............

Kayo...  will we ever hear from our fan club?   

xoxoxoxo

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Fast Eddie]

If a supposed 'friend' starts getting ugly about making arrangements to pay you back they are no friend of yours in the first place, and you have presumed to much. Try and smile with them in order to get the money back, but mentally and emotionally cut them adrift.

Any decent person would be apologetic and prepared to do whatever they could (within reason) to come to an arrangement to pay you back when they could.

Unfortunately, not everyone who acts as if they are a friend actually turns out to be so. It's probably best to limit credit only to those who have built up trust over a lengthy period of time, and only in amounts that you can easily write off.

[Nickerelastic]

You reap what you sow. Although not aways in this life.

[meadish_sweetball]

Add substance addiction (yes, including alcohol) to the friendship equation, and the friend *always* loses to the substance.

[bkkmadness]

When lending money its always good to understand the difference between friends and associates. Unfortunately too many substances can cause friends to become associates.

[Patsycat]

I don't know... but when i have had to borrow money off someone I have always made sure that i pay it back as quickly as possible. I hate having sleepless nights know that i owe X moolah. I have an ex boyfriend who sometimes stays and he uses my phone all the time and owes be big time for fone bills. I pay those bills because otherwise my phone would be cut off and when i mention the bills to him he just shrugs and calls someone up. I have now put a code into my phone so he cant use it - but he still owes me about 300 quid in phone bills. I guess i will never learn...!!

[Patex]

"You can go in a bar with a friend but you can not get a friend out of a bar"

[kayo]

If a supposed 'friend' starts getting ugly about making arrangements to pay you back they are no friend of yours in the first place, and you have presumed to much. Try and smile with them in order to get the money back, but mentally and emotionally cut them adrift.

Any decent person would be apologetic and prepared to do whatever they could (within reason) to come to an arrangement to pay you back when they could.

Unfortunately, not everyone who acts as if they are a friend actually turns out to be so. It's probably best to limit credit only to those who have built up trust over a lengthy period of time, and only in amounts that you can easily write off.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Add substance addiction (yes, including alcohol) to the friendship equation, and the friend *always* loses to the substance.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Many good comments from people here.

Thank you for taking the time to share your views.

Fast eddie, very eloquently put, and I couldn't help but nod my head in agreement.

[thaibebop]

Not so long ago, The Gentlemen Scamp posted a Topic. That topic was, "How much of you is the REAL you?"

I feel I posted honestly, and you can all find that response on page one of the thread, within this Hong Klay Khriaat forum.

In recent times, since Hurricane Stan, a lot of our local friends have been acting, or behaving, in manners quite unbecoming. Getting more carried away with their Central American Drugs for example, which previously had been used only recreationally. Drinking to excess, leading to all the usual outcomes> Wives beaten, or worse... Fighting, or worse, etc....

We at the bar have observed this behavioural change in a number of our good friends, which has ultimately led us to change, adapt our style a little bit, along the lines of the following age old motto>

On the street, you are my friend. In my bar, your are our client.

It's unfortunate, but it's the result of the behaviour of many people, that uis detrimental to the bar. For example, the tab: Drink all night on tab, as always, and either pay at the end, or at least sign for it.

Now, what happens, is people get so ######ed up they end up having to leave, or in a couple of cases, I've had to physically throw friends out on the street.

This, of course, leaves no time for signatures, or money collection.

As they are supposed friends, we have hoped that they would drop by the next day, calmer, regained the senses, maybe even as much as an apology, and pay the bill... Unfortunately, with many that had not happened, as they just continue to &lt;deleted&gt; themselves up day in, day out. When in a state of high acceleration, modesty, humility, and conscienciousness are not exactly at the top of the agenda.

We've lost a lot of friends in the past two months. A lot of them, now go around town talking bad about us.

We don't really care too much about that. We are solid, and clear of negative conscious, with regards to drug abuse, and ill treatment of friends.

We are tryign to run a good place, and do not indulge more than occasionaly. We want the place to be the best around these parts in the years to come.

We are responsible.

So, what is it all worth? Why give the best of yourself, if continuously people try to walk all over you? Try to abuse the goodness you give?

I'm no saint. Never was and never pretend to be. I DO however try to give the best of myself. Here on the forum, equally to in my real world.

I try, and it comes quite naturally, to enjoy life, and give happiness as well as partake in the happiness of others.

Why then? Why do I do it? Why does my boss?

Why?

Sure we could defend ourselves from the bullsh*t, but you know, we're are really not into the machisto sh/t and as I said, our consciences are clear,

That's why.

so we don't see why we should stoop to the level of people who abuse our kindness.

Let 'em have their cake and eat it too. When they are done, they will have no cake left.

I still know how to bake another.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[Sur_MÖSE]

the answer is smoke Kind Nugs, not Alcohol.

Alcohol being legal and Kind Nugs not has always boggled my mind.

Also I would add that you may consider too many people friends, in reality you can only have 4-5 friends, the rest are associates.

Friends might walk out on a tab, but they would pay you back the next day, or asap.

Quality vs Quanity, people learn this the older they get.

Edited December 10, 2005 by Sur_MÖSE

[sadman]

The 'friends as opposed to associates' philosophy is a sound one, IMHO. Any one with a conscience and a modicum of self-respect wouldn't go into a bar to drink or eat without having money with which to pay for it. A friend certainly wouldn't. On many occasions over the years I have declined an invitation to go for a beer etc because I haven't had the money. That's the way it is.

Kayo, if people abuse your hospitality it says more about them than it does about you, IMHO.

As for the title of this thread - you share yourself because it's the only thing of real value you have to give. It can never be taken, only given, and sharing it doesn't lessen it in quantity or quality. If others take advantage, it hurts - I know. However, try not to let it make you cynical or unwilling to share in future.

Sounds easy, but I find it hard.

[Glauka]

excuse me

what is IMHO stands for?

thanks

[khall64au]

excuse me

what is IMHO stands for?

thanks

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

In My Honest Opinion

[Glauka]

excuse me

what is IMHO stands for?

thanks

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

In My Honest Opinion

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

thanks khall

[thaibebop]

The 'friends as opposed to associates' philosophy is a sound one, IMHO. Any one with a conscience and a modicum of self-respect wouldn't go into a bar to drink or eat without having money with which to pay for it. A friend certainly wouldn't. On many occasions over the years I have declined an invitation to go for a beer etc because I haven't had the money. That's the way it is.

Kayo, if people abuse your hospitality it says more about them than it does about you, IMHO.

As for the title of this thread - you share yourself because it's the only thing of real value you have to give. Oooh, he's got you there Kayo!  

It can never be taken, only given, and sharing it doesn't lessen it in quantity or quality. If others take advantage, it hurts - I know. However, try not to let it make you cynical or unwilling to share in future.

Sounds easy, but I find it hard.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[kayo]

touché Beebs... Good answers guys. Yes, Me is all I have to give, and I might like to play a bit with my image, but yes, I am honest, and indeed my conscience is clear.

That´s the best I can do, and indeed, others may TRY to walk all over that, and yes, bugger them.

I am here. I am Kayo. I am thirsty.

Thanks guys.

[khall64au]

Can I just add a little something here? We have two selves - private and public- neither can be separated.

Our public selves almost always involve business. Our business self needs to learn when to separate from our friendships.

There's an old saying: There are no friends in business! That old saying is true: I've learnt that over the years, and I shan't forget it ever again!

Keep it separate and you will prosper as well as keep your friends!

[Glauka]

Some song lyrics for you Kayo:

Y amiiiiiiigos

amigos hay pocos bueeeeenos

ay te lo puedo asegurar

delante buenas palabras

y por detrás puñalas

delante buenas palabras

y por detrás puñalas

(translation:

There not many good friends

I can asure you

They tell you beautiful words

but they stab you in the back)

anyway I have already gave you my opinion in the matter...

we don´t know what is going on in people´s head or life to make them to behave like that.

[thaibebop]

touché Beebs... Good answers guys. Yes, Me is all I have to give, and I might like to play a bit with my image, but yes, I am honest, and indeed my conscience is clear.

That´s the best I can do, and indeed, others may TRY to walk all over that, and yes, bugger them.

I am here. I am Kayo. I am thirsty.

Thanks guys.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It's all good!

[kayo]

You guys want a drink?

I'm buying.

[bkkmadness]

excuse me

what is IMHO stands for?

thanks

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

In My Honest Opinion

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I always thought it was 'In My Humble Opinion'

?

[kayo]

In my Horny Opinion.

[khall64au]

Great to have you back in top form Klown