Is Santa Gay?

[peter991]

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myths, but I believe Santa is gay.

Christmas is a big, well organised, fully catered, decorated, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social beverage deal, and I have a tough time believing a straight man could possibly pull it all off!

Hmmm..."Fairy Lights" What about those over-the-top decorations? A straight

man can not even organise a matching shirt and tie!

For starters, think about the planing that goes into an event like Christmas. Even Martha Stewart is envious. Straight men have day jobs, so they wouldn't have time to stand at the local shopping malls and ring a bell all day. But is you're a gay, out-of-work Actor/Dancer/Waiter, it's the perfect gig until you get your big break.

Also, if he were straight he would have picked a more masculine animal than the reindeer to get him around, like horses or oxen, but the reindeer just happens to appeal to Santa's inherent sense of grace and beauty. And, my dear, those names: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen? You fill in the blanks.

Mrs Claus has been married to him for eons yet he's never fathered a child with her. She's over-weight and still content. Why I hear you ask? Can you say "Fag-Hag"?

Ever thought about the Rudolph story? He's gay too! Come on, you have thought about it too. "All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games." As if he wanted to. Isn't Rudolph really only a metaphor for the gay child living in a straight society anyway?

Ever ask yourself why fruitcake is the traditional dessert at Christmas time? Well now you know. And stop pretending you don't like it. Deep down inside, you've always liked fruitcake.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a straight man:

Look at the size of the bag he packs for a one-night trip! Red velvet; Fur collar; knee-high boots and thick black leather belt. Darling, just think about it!!! Physically he's a wet dream for the Chubby Chaser Club and the perfect "Bear" poster child. Would a straight man have thought of using "stockings" to hide their candy? That long over-night flight around the world taps into the flight attendant gene.

And one more thing, did you ever know a straight man named Nicholas? Oh, the straight society has tried to butch up his image by calling him St. Nick, but we know better. It's Nicholas, god d*amn it!!!!

[bino]

Mrs Claus has been married to him for eons yet he's never fathered a child with her.

Reminds me of a joke....

Q: Why doesn't Santa have any children?

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A: He only comes once a year, down the chimney!

[salwador]

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myths, but I believe Santa is gay.

Christmas is a big, well organised, fully catered, decorated, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social beverage deal, and I have a tough time believing a straight man could possibly pull it all off!

Hmmm..."Fairy Lights" What about those over-the-top decorations? A straight

man can not even organise a matching shirt and tie!

For starters, think about the planing that goes into an event like Christmas. Even Martha Stewart is envious. Straight men have day jobs, so they wouldn't have time to stand at the local shopping malls and ring a bell all day. But is you're a gay, out-of-work Actor/Dancer/Waiter, it's the perfect gig until you get your big break.

Also, if he were straight he would have picked a more masculine animal than the reindeer to get him around, like horses or oxen, but the reindeer just happens to appeal to Santa's inherent sense of grace and beauty. And, my dear, those names: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen? You fill in the blanks.

Mrs Claus has been married to him for eons yet he's never fathered a child with her. She's over-weight and still content. Why I hear you ask? Can you say "Fag-Hag"?

Ever thought about the Rudolph story? He's gay too! Come on, you have thought about it too. "All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games." As if he wanted to. Isn't Rudolph really only a metaphor for the gay child living in a straight society anyway?

Ever ask yourself why fruitcake is the traditional dessert at Christmas time? Well now you know. And stop pretending you don't like it. Deep down inside, you've always liked fruitcake.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a straight man:

Look at the size of the bag he packs for a one-night trip! Red velvet; Fur collar; knee-high boots and thick black leather belt. Darling, just think about it!!! Physically he's a wet dream for the Chubby Chaser Club and the perfect "Bear" poster child. Would a straight man have thought of using "stockings" to hide their candy? That long over-night flight around the world taps into the flight attendant gene.

And one more thing, did you ever know a straight man named Nicholas? Oh, the straight society has tried to butch up his image by calling him St. Nick, but we know better. It's Nicholas, god d*amn it!!!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

cool text!!!

[dr_Pat_Pong]

I hate to be the one to defy sacred myths, but I believe Santa is gay.

Christmas is a big, well organised, fully catered, decorated, warm, fuzzy, nurturing, social beverage deal, and I have a tough time believing a straight man could possibly pull it all off!

Hmmm..."Fairy Lights" What about those over-the-top decorations? A straight

man can not even organise a matching shirt and tie!

For starters, think about the planing that goes into an event like Christmas. Even Martha Stewart is envious. Straight men have day jobs, so they wouldn't have time to stand at the local shopping malls and ring a bell all day. But is you're a gay, out-of-work Actor/Dancer/Waiter, it's the perfect gig until you get your big break.

Also, if he were straight he would have picked a more masculine animal than the reindeer to get him around, like horses or oxen, but the reindeer just happens to appeal to Santa's inherent sense of grace and beauty. And, my dear, those names: Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen? You fill in the blanks.

Mrs Claus has been married to him for eons yet he's never fathered a child with her. She's over-weight and still content. Why I hear you ask? Can you say "Fag-Hag"?

Ever thought about the Rudolph story? He's gay too! Come on, you have thought about it too. "All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names. They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games." As if he wanted to. Isn't Rudolph really only a metaphor for the gay child living in a straight society anyway?

Ever ask yourself why fruitcake is the traditional dessert at Christmas time? Well now you know. And stop pretending you don't like it. Deep down inside, you've always liked fruitcake.

Other reasons why Santa can't possibly be a straight man:

Look at the size of the bag he packs for a one-night trip! Red velvet; Fur collar; knee-high boots and thick black leather belt. Darling, just think about it!!! Physically he's a wet dream for the Chubby Chaser Club and the perfect "Bear" poster child. Would a straight man have thought of using "stockings" to hide their candy? That long over-night flight around the world taps into the flight attendant gene.

And one more thing, did you ever know a straight man named Nicholas? Oh, the straight society has tried to butch up his image by calling him St. Nick, but we know better. It's Nicholas, god d*amn it!!!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

[salwador]

and

Merry Christmas Santas