Serious Question About Relationship With Thai Gf, Serious Replies Please.

[StreetCowboy]

What kind of guitars have you got ?

Classic. Thy guy opens up is feeling first thing that comes to mind is what guitars have you got . Love it

Let's face it; if people had taken an interest in the OP as a person, and his hobbies and interests, he'd not have gone to the opposite end of the world looking for a girlfriend

SC

[4evermaat]

Sometimes, no matter what people say, you just have to go for it. All you need to remember is protect your assets and protect yourself. Be aware that there could be pitfalls and try not to be taken in. Although this sounds stupid and contrary to what I posted earlier, most people, even when asking for advice, have already made their minds up and don't pay attention to what advice is given.

That's about sums it up. Only your own common sense will work for you.

What i do find interesting is the big deal about giving money to partner. She ASKED if you could give money every month. You have a right to say yes or no. Why would you (or anyone for that matter) expect anyone to wait around for 11 months for free? If you are expecting someone to cook/clean for you (exclusively), raise kids, intimacy, etc, is it unreasonable to give her some compensation so she can eat? Maybe feed her existing family?

i do recommend that you are physically in Thailand when making payments. At least initially, unless you were already married/going together. but these comments go back to the fundamental question(s): what do you really want? what are your expectations of your partner? Of yourself? can your potential partner fulfill your expectations? will you take it personally if two days/weeks/months from now you find out you cannot or she cannot meet expectations?

The whole "real love" shpeal is non-sense. Because your partner's definition of love and how it is practiced is almost always going to be different than yours. so walk forward, take risks, and dont invest more than you dont mind losing. All that really matters is that it is a match that works.

Btw, in 4-5 star hotels, massage therapist can easily make 2000-3000bt a day....only massage/spa services. A regular busy professional location a full time massage therapist can make 10-20,000bt / mo, depending on how much they charge for massage. That is working all day 10-12 hours. The repetitive motion does get to you eventually though.

"2nd best time to plant a tree is today." Sent from TV android app.

[ludditeman]

Btw, in 4-5 star hotels, massage therapist can easily make 2000-3000bt a day....only massage/spa services. A regular busy professional location a full time massage therapist can make 10-20,000bt / mo, depending on how much they charge for massage. That is working all day 10-12 hours. The repetitive motion does get to you eventually though.

In Thailand massage girls in top hotels are usually paid no more than massage girls working anywhere else, about 6-8k a month. Just because the hotel charges more, doesn't mean they pay the girl more.

Edited February 17, 2012 by ludditeman

[colinp]

Btw, in 4-5 star hotels, massage therapist can easily make 2000-3000bt a day....only massage/spa services.

Sorry to hijack the thread but how do you know this? Do you have a friend working at a 5 star hotel? Not being sarcastic, genuinely would like to know because that is excellent money. Obviously the low season would effect their salary but even so...

Is the training to become a qualified masseuse expensive? Anyone know? I would assume a 5 star hotel would want only the best masseurs.

Edited February 17, 2012 by colinp

[transam]

Btw, in 4-5 star hotels, massage therapist can easily make 2000-3000bt a day....only massage/spa services.

Sorry to hijack the thread but how do you know this? Do you have a friend working at a 5 star hotel? Not being sarcastic, genuinely would like to know because that is excellent money. Obviously the low season would effect their salary but even so...

Is the training to become a qualified masseuse expensive? Anyone know? I would assume a 5 star hotel would want only the best masseurs.

Good money with ''extras''.

[4evermaat]

Btw, in 4-5 star hotels, massage therapist can easily make 2000-3000bt a day....only massage/spa services. A regular busy professional location a full time massage therapist can make 10-20,000bt / mo, depending on how much they charge for massage. That is working all day 10-12 hours. The repetitive motion does get to you eventually though.

In Thailand massage girls in top hotels are usually paid no more than massage girls working anywhere else, about 6-8k a month. Just because the hotel charges more, doesn't mean they pay the girl more.

The base salary is usually only that much if no massages are booked for that day but when they are charging 600-1000 baht for a thai massage and more for oil/herbal/sauna/body scrubs/etc and you get 50% of that plus tips.

The bellhops / doorman/ valet also make quite a bit, although never got quoted an exact figure. i'm guessing 1000-4000 baht in tips on a fri/sat night or sunday morning checkout. Valet might be less if there isnt much parking or self/parking.

You always will have your cheap wads, but you have to remember these hotels attract a different clientelle. 3000-9000/night for a room. (just the room, although depending on package or membership, you may get free breakfast, free internet, free tour/show). All the auxilary services are repriced accordingly. at the ritz-carlton in the usa, a basic full body massage was easily $100-175/hr add "authentic" hot stones from equador or some other exotic sounding country to easily upsell another $50-100. Some of the prices we charged for basic services was ridiculous by any standards, but there were people who paid.

Sorry to hijack the thread but how do you know this? Do you have a friend working at a 5 star hotel? Not being sarcastic, genuinely would like to know because that is excellent money. Obviously the low season would effect their salary but even so...

Is the training to become a qualified masseuse expensive? Anyone know? I would assume a 5 star hotel would want only the best masseurs.

Good money with ''extras''.

I'll get in contact with my friend and see what he knows. you or your thai gf? some hotels will hire foreigners, but its usually more of a "who you know" type of thing. And it is usually for management positions. Do you speak any thai?

"2nd best time to plant a tree is today." Sent from TV android app.

[tolstoy]

BKK workers make a lot more than rural areas. I know a few people that work for lotus in the prepared food section and they made 12k to start and now are at 16k after 4 years. Many of the people that I know in bkk that are in the lower ranked jobs still make between 12-15K, but if they were in CM or other areas would make less than 9K

Ludditeman: You seem to know a lot about massage girls and othe like establishments for a married man. Bragging about how great of a marriage that you have and in the same thread writing about the intricacies of massage girl salaries. Your wife must be so glad to have such a faithful husband.

The bottom line of the thread is that many of you are assuming that the OP's girl is a gold digging rub and tug specialist. I think that the OP was saying that if she was to leave Thailand that she would need to still send 5k a month to her family. Not that she wants the OP to give her money now.

Personally, I wouldn't give one red cent to her but as others have said, pay for your life with her and let her send the money that she earns to her family.

You do want to consider what she would do for a living with you in Aus. You really don't want her to be a housewife. Try to see if she is willing to learn some kind of trade outside of massage.

[colinp]

For my niece. Any information gratefully received.

[transam]

BKK workers make a lot more than rural areas. I know a few people that work for lotus in the prepared food section and they made 12k to start and now are at 16k after 4 years. Many of the people that I know in bkk that are in the lower ranked jobs still make between 12-15K, but if they were in CM or other areas would make less than 9K

Ludditeman: You seem to know a lot about massage girls and othe like establishments for a married man. Bragging about how great of a marriage that you have and in the same thread writing about the intricacies of massage girl salaries. Your wife must be so glad to have such a faithful husband.

The bottom line of the thread is that many of you are assuming that the OP's girl is a gold digging rub and tug specialist. I think that the OP was saying that if she was to leave Thailand that she would need to still send 5k a month to her family. Not that she wants the OP to give her money now.

Personally, I wouldn't give one red cent to her but as others have said, pay for your life with her and let her send the money that she earns to her family.

You do want to consider what she would do for a living with you in Aus. You really don't want her to be a housewife. Try to see if she is willing to learn some kind of trade outside of massage.

BUT, think some folk up the income figures to impress.

[tolstoy]

Yes, I agree with you but people also lowball their numbers to others for pitty.

I don't say out of speculation. I only state exactly what I know for fact.

but according to most guys here all Thais are poor. So who then buys all of the new cars that cost a minimum of 8k-15k a month for the loan if they only make 6k a month?

[ShanePashen]

Sometimes, no matter what people say, you just have to go for it. All you need to remember is protect your assets and protect yourself. Be aware that there could be pitfalls and try not to be taken in. Although this sounds stupid and contrary to what I posted earlier, most people, even when asking for advice, have already made their minds up and don't pay attention to what advice is given.

That's about sums it up. Only your own common sense will work for you.

What I do find interesting is the big deal about giving money to partner. She ASKED if you could give money every month. You have a right to say yes or no. Why would you (or anyone for that matter) expect anyone to wait around for 11 months for free? If you are expecting someone to cook/clean for you (exclusively), raise kids, intimacy, etc, is it unreasonable to give her some compensation so she can eat? Maybe feed her existing family?

i do recommend that you are physically in Thailand when making payments. At least initially, unless you were already married/going together. but these comments go back to the fundamental question(s): what do you really want? what are your expectations of your partner? Of yourself? can your potential partner fulfill your expectations? will you take it personally if two days/weeks/months from now you find out you cannot or she cannot meet expectations?

The whole "real love" shpeal is non-sense. Because your partner's definition of love and how it is practiced is almost always going to be different than yours. so walk forward, take risks, and dont invest more than you dont mind losing. All that really matters is that it is a match that works.

Btw, in 4-5 star hotels, massage therapist can easily make 2000-3000bt a day....only massage/spa services. A regular busy professional location a full time massage therapist can make 10-20,000bt / mo, depending on how much they charge for massage. That is working all day 10-12 hours. The repetitive motion does get to you eventually though.

"2nd best time to plant a tree is today." Sent from TV android app.

OK I'l try to answer some of these questions, to this poster and some of the others.

Firstly she studied massage at the Wat Pho temple in BKK, has been trained in various types of massage, oil, non oil, remedial etc.

I am no expert, but when she gives me a massage it is not a pleasurable experience at all, it is painful and i feel like I have done 3 rounds in the UFC afterwards, a "happy ending" is the last thing on my mind.

What I am looking for in a partner? Well I didn't have selection criteria, as it wasn't a position I was advertising for.

But she has a gentle nature, is easy going, I would describe her as low maintenance, compared to western women.

Has a tremendous work ethic, 6 days a week 12 hours a day. In the time I spent with her, I did feel a special connection.

I have several motorbikes here, including KTM and BMW, I have ridden bikes all my life, so it was a joy to explore Phuket on a little scooter, I hired a decent one, I was eyeing off the R1;s as well but thought the better of it.

I treated her with dignity and respect, how I would treat any woman.

Her English is rudimentary, but effective, we had no communication problems.

I love red hot spicy Thai food, I am yet to find a Thai food I don't like.

Although cat has me worried, *please see Thai food thread*.

Although she eats birdseye chilli's, like we eat olive's, that was astounding!

I can't take the food as hot as she has it.

She introduced me to different styles of Thai food, including Isaan where she is from, I particularly loved Ox tongue, my favorite, and chicken feet soup.

On a physical level, yes I am totally besotted, and infatuated with her. This has not helped, and I understand that in myself.

I find her exotic, and yes, very sexy!

As far as a potential partner goes, I am financially secure, my youngest son is turning 16, he is the only one left at home.

I am not looking for a house cleaning, sex slave, but a new life partner.

I would love to see her working her in a reputable spa, doing what she does, and being paid decent Australian wages.

This would give her confidence and a sense of independence.

Although we don't share the same level of education, I think she is bright and would be a quick learner.

I think, well hope we could grow together if I nurture the relationship, and steer it in the right direction.

Can I be happy with a simple Isaan girl, Dunno maybe, hope so!

What I can tell you I wasn't happy with a Bitch with a Mba in education.

Who earned more than me, and was happy to keep reminding me of that fact.

I also understand that it is not beyond reason that even if I did all that, she could still leave me, for a younger, better looking guy, once she was here and established.

So What should I do?, live in fear? never take a chance?

If that did happen, yes it would be a very bitter pill to swallow, and would vindicate many prophets of doom on here I am sure.

I have every intention of protecting my assets regardless.

As far as paying 4-5K Baht per Mth to help her family, well why wouldn't I want to do that?

That's about Aud$100-130 per Mth, to all the guys who have an issue with that, all I can say is maybe I can buy you a beer if I see you in Thailand, since times are so tough!

I want to meet her parents, scary cat eaters that they may be!

I'm sure if we do go up to Ubon, it will be a real eye opener.

So I'm off for another 18 days, in 2 weeks to spend more time with her, and invest more into this relationship.

So my learning curve will continue.

[colinp]

Good luck to you. Hope it all works out for the best.

[tolstoy]

I actually liked the OP until he wrote this

"As far as paying 4-5K Baht per Mth to help her family, well why wouldn't I want to do that?

That's about Aud$100-130 per Mth, to all the guys who have an issue with that, all I can say is maybe I can buy you a beer if I see you in Thailand, since times are so tough!"

Would you give a woman from your own country a monthly stipend "to give to her family"? You probably also think that it is customary in Thailand for the wive's family to keep the sin sod.

A sucker is born every minute as they say.

I liked everything that you said about loving/ respecting your partner. But giving money to a woman doesn't show either. The women that get monthly alottments are mistresses.

I really am surprised that the men here think that Thai women have a different notion of what love is. Perhaps the ones that are from extremely poor backgrounds and are desperate but the majority of women that I have met (typically dating Thai men) aren't any different in regards to love than western women.

Perhaps those that have white fever have an agenda, not much different than the guys here who want a TG.

[ShanePashen]

I actually liked the OP until he wrote this

"As far as paying 4-5K Baht per Mth to help her family, well why wouldn't I want to do that?

That's about Aud$100-130 per Mth, to all the guys who have an issue with that, all I can say is maybe I can buy you a beer if I see you in Thailand, since times are so tough!"

Would you give a woman from your own country a monthly stipend "to give to her family"? You probably also think that it is customary in Thailand for the wive's family to keep the sin sod.

A sucker is born every minute as they say.

I liked everything that you said about loving/ respecting your partner. But giving money to a woman doesn't show either. The women that get monthly alottments are mistresses.

I really am surprised that the men here think that Thai women have a different notion of what love is. Perhaps the ones that are from extremely poor backgrounds and are desperate but the majority of women that I have met (typically dating Thai men) aren't any different in regards to love than western women.

Perhaps those that have white fever have an agenda, not much different than the guys here who want a TG.

I actually liked some of your thoughts as well until you wrote this!

Lets assume, just as an example. after tax I made about 137K Thb per Mth, or thereabouts

and a great deal of that was disposable income, since I had virtually no debt.

I had someone who I deeply cared for, who I saw working her arse off 12 hrs a day, 6 days a week, to make a shitload less money than I do. and I work roughly half as many hours as that.

Someone I saw as a potential life partner, not as a bargirl I owned, for 1000 baht a night or whatever it is, don't know, don't care. I have never had a Thai sex worker. But I don't judge others who do either.

I see her send 4-5K baht back per Mth to support her family, I may also add that she has never asked me for any money, and to this point I haven't sent her any.

If she was my partner and we were together on a permanent basis, why wouldn't I want to make her life easier?

Let me ask you something Leo!

Do you give any money to charity?

Have you ever sponsored a child from a 3rd world country?

Or are you one of these people who believe, all charities are corrupt, and the money is wasted in Admin.

Well I can answer yes to the above and I guess that makes me a sucker to.

I also always drop a coin or two to every beggar I see in thailand. never a lot 5-10 baht but always something, what a sucker.

[ludditeman]

Ludditeman: You seem to know a lot about massage girls and othe like establishments for a married man. Bragging about how great of a marriage that you have and in the same thread writing about the intricacies of massage girl salaries. Your wife must be so glad to have such a faithful husband.

I wasn't always married!

But even then I generally avoided Thai massage, as many establishments appeared to me to be offering western style prostitution. Get em in, get em off, get em out. Which never really appealed to me, too many customers a day for me. much worse then bar girls.

There are obvious exceptions, like the blind men massage therapists.

Most massage places have private rooms somewhere.

Why should a Thai girl tell a foreigner they earn more than they do?

So when the foreigner asks them to give up work, they can ask for bigger 'compensation' (it's very common)

Edited February 18, 2012 by ludditeman

[tolstoy]

Potential life partner ( you have known her for 2 weeks) a little jumping the gun. As for respecting her. Can you really respect someone equally that you have to support?

Again, my point is that it is arrogant to think that people warning you about throwing money at her family is that they cannot afford it.

I actually defended you when others were suggesting that she asked you now. I said that helping her family once you are married is slightly different. I did suggest as others though not to give her the money but to pay for everything else so she could use her own money.

Help her family other ways by improving their business sense and showing them how to cultivate their land better and to invest/spend money differently. Like the old addage giving a person a fish and teaching them how to fish.

To answer your questions, no. I don't do any of those things. I don't give to beggars either. I will not brag or defend what I actually do, but I do know that throwing money at people doesn't help them in the long run.

Ask her next time you talk if you were to get married that you heard about something called "sin sod". See how she responds.

This family will certainly take you for at least 200K baht if not 500k for Sin Sod especially when/if she sees how you live in Australia.

[rusty1976]

If you are comfortable sending money to a girl in Thailand and not knowing where she is, who she is with and if she is jumping on some elses c&*k, then good for you.

I was living in Pattaya for 6 months, and went to a regular massage place, this wasnt a short time place, but was a proper massage place, I work out at the gym 4 times a week and need a massage at the end of every week. So I would regularly attend this massage place. I be-friended a nice young looking girl there, braces on her teeth, new mobile phone, she said she had a man from Australia sending her money and taking care of her, so she didnt need money really. Anyway 2 weeks later we went out to the cinema and then I shagged her. Job done, thanks.

If the opportunity is there they will jump on it.

[David48]

Lets assume, just as an example. after tax I made about a great deal of that was disposable income.

I had someone who I deeply cared for ...

Someone I saw as a potential life partner ...

Hi there Shane (again) ... as you know we ALL have been trying to answer your questions ... even some questions you haven't thought to ask.

One of the major flaws in your thinking is that you are still approaching the relationship with a Western mentality. Combined with Western ideas about money.

The request for a salary from someone you met for a matter of weeks and who is earning good money (for Thailand) is a major red flag.

From your writing, I assume that you are a romantic with romantic ideals ... so have I ... I am a hopeless romantic. But to translate those ideals into Thailand you will get ripped to shreds faster then a Christian in a Lions Den.

As you alluded to "she's a real hottie" (or words to that effect) and she has chosen you above ALL the other Western clients she would meet on a daily basis ... and proclaimed (inferred) to you that 'you're the one, my only one' ... those flags are waving again!

Again ... we don't say we don't like her. We don't say that it won't work ... maybe you indeed have found that girl in a million ... we are just offering opinions based on her actions.

Please (again) take the time to read about Thai Culture ... again, not all from here on this Forum.

You have to gain her respect ... Her Thai respect ... not your Western concept of respect.

We all wish you well and every success ...

David48

ps ... adeptation of a well trodden joke.

BG1:- Why are Western men like tile floors?

BG2:- If you lay 'em properly the first time you can walk all over 'em for years.

[rusty1976]

Lets assume, just as an example. after tax I made about a great deal of that was disposable income.

I had someone who I deeply cared for ...

Someone I saw as a potential life partner ...

Hi there Shane (again) ... as you know we ALL have been trying to answer your questions ... even some questions you haven't thought to ask.

One of the major flaws in your thinking is that you are still approaching the relationship with a Western mentality. Combined with Western ideas about money.

The request for a salary from someone you met for a matter of weeks and who is earning good money (for Thailand) is a major red flag.

From your writing, I assume that you are a romantic with romantic ideals ... so have I ... I am a hopeless romantic. But to translate those ideals into Thailand you will get ripped to shreds faster then a Christian in a Lions Den.

As you alluded to "she's a real hottie" (or words to that effect) and she has chosen you above ALL the other Western clients she would meet on a daily basis ... and proclaimed (inferred) to you that 'you're the one, my only one' ... those flags are waving again!

Again ... we don't say we don't like her. We don't say that it won't work ... maybe you indeed have found that girl in a million ... we are just offering opinions based on her actions.

Please (again) take the time to read about Thai Culture ... again, not all from here on this Forum.

You have to gain her respect ... Her Thai respect ... not your Western concept of respect.

We all wish you well and every success ...

David48

ps ... adeptation of a well trodden joke.

BG1:- Why are Western men like tile floors?

BG2:- If you lay 'em properly the first time you can walk all over 'em for years.

David48: Some of the best advice I have ever heard on a thread...

Shane you need to slap yourself in the face with a wet salmon mate.... "You are the one the only one!" mate I have had a dozen thai women say that to me after a few days together.... You are going to piss your retirement fund down the drain if you get involved with this type of women.

What you should be doing is packing up and renting a apartment in thailand for 6 months, getting a feel for the place... stay single for a while have a few girlfriends.... and then it will become apparent to you that they all say the same thing. Its business and you are a customer.

[ShanePashen]

Wow all of this is really causing me to 2nd guess myself, and my emotions..

It would seem apparent, that the odds truly are stacked against me then.

Yes I probably am a hopeless romantic at heart.

I may be many things but I have never thought myself a fool.

Impetuous maybe, but not a fool.

I am really doubting my judgement now, and have a lot of self doubt creeping in about this.

I am usually very decisive, in my work and life.

Backing my own judgement normally serves me fairly well.

I really have to take stock of this, too many people are telling me I am being carved up here.

rusty 1976, you are probably right, but i don't have the luxury of being able to take 6 Mths off work, and learn the ropes here.

I see you don't pull any punches either, but I like that frankness.

David48, well how should I win her Thai respect then.

I'm off to see her in 2 weeks, any advice before I go?

My brain hurts at the moment.

[rusty1976]

Wow all of this is really causing me to 2nd guess myself, and my emotions..

It would seem apparent, that the odds truly are stacked against me then.

Yes I probably am a hopeless romantic at heart.

I may be many things but I have never thought myself a fool.

Impetuous maybe, but not a fool.

I am really doubting my judgement now, and have a lot of self doubt creeping in about this.

I am usually very decisive, in my work and life.

Backing my own judgement normally serves me fairly well.

I really have to take stock of this, too many people are telling me I am being carved up here.

rusty 1976, you are probably right, but i don't have the luxury of being able to take 6 Mths off work, and learn the ropes here.

I see you don't pull any punches either, but I like that frankness.

David48, well how should I win her Thai respect then.

I'm off to see her in 2 weeks, any advice before I go?

My brain hurts at the moment.

My advice would be to enjoy your vacation... You are on limited time.

Until you can make the time to spend a long stay in thailand, do not commit to anything... tell her you will come live in thailand for 2 to 3 months.. then organise this time with your work somehow.

Stop sending her money, see if she stays in contact with you...

mentally you have already committed so its going to be hard.. I would suggest going to have some shorttime whilst you are on vacation.

best of luck...

[tolstoy]

"Stop sending her money, see if she stays in contact with you..."

Read the OP, he didn't send her any money. He said that if she left Thailand to be with him and stopped working that she would still need to send 5k baht a month.

To the OP. The thing that you forget is that you are already divorced to a woman that you cannot stand. You should know better. You don't mind giving money now, but what about the future? FF 2 years, you end up breaking up and that small some of money over two years totals a few thousands dollars, wouldn't you wish that you didn't spend that money? At least meet her parents before helping them out. What if they are <deleted>? Many foreigners that I know married or dating to rural class Thai women do not have great relationships with their parents. There is a lot of ignorance from their lack of education and it can be straining.

You will have a leg up on other guys because you are willing and enjoy "Real Thai Food" not just the central curries ladened with coconut milk. If you can eat nam prik gapee (shrimp paste dipping sauce), you will be welcomed and loved immediately.

[StreetCowboy]

"Stop sending her money, see if she stays in contact with you..."

Read the OP, he didn't send her any money. He said that if she left Thailand to be with him and stopped working that she would still need to send 5k baht a month.

To the OP. The thing that you forget is that you are already divorced to a woman that you cannot stand. You should know better. You don't mind giving money now, but what about the future? FF 2 years, you end up breaking up and that small some of money over two years totals a few thousands dollars, wouldn't you wish that you didn't spend that money? At least meet her parents before helping them out. What if they are <deleted>? Many foreigners that I know married or dating to rural class Thai women do not have great relationships with their parents. There is a lot of ignorance from their lack of education and it can be straining.

You will have a leg up on other guys because you are willing and enjoy "Real Thai Food" not just the central curries ladened with coconut milk. If you can eat nam prik gapee (shrimp paste dipping sauce), you will be welcomed and loved immediately.

You may be right about the money. He should hang on to it, and then if the relationship goes pear-shaped, he can cash his bank balance into pound coins, stack them up, rub his hands and cackle like Radiola.

Personally, I think he should spend it like George Best.

SC

[ShanePashen]

OK Thank you, to everybody with their thoughts.

Including Tolstoy, hope I didn't offend you, I like 99% of what you post

rusty1976

David48

and so many others, who I feel have honestly tried to steer me in the right direction.

I mean that with all sincerity.

for what it's worth. I have really appreciated all the thoughts, and takes on my situation.

The good, the bad, and yes the ugly.

I guess the rest is up to me now.

I will take my time, with this.

I can't say it hasn't left me more than a bit disillusioned however.

One thing I would like to say, is that as an outsider, looking in.

it has been a real eye opener, just how merciless, and devoid of any emotion Thai women can be.

It seems the agenda can be, whatever it takes, to part the Farang with as much money as possible, in both short and the long terms.

[irlguy1]

I have to disagree with the attitude that thai women just want to milk Falang for every cent. I know two guys that are happily in a relationship a few years and I am in one almost a year and even though she has little cash she more than pays her way when she can. She asks for very little from me and yes we are planning marriage. It's all down to the dam_n visa.

[tolstoy]

"just how merciless, and devoid of any emotion Thai women can be."

I don't think that it is just Thai women. I would give the same advice to rushing into any relationship with any woman.

I think it has more to do with circumstance than culture or ethnic background. I don't find Thai women any more money grubbing gold diggering than other women. It is just the ones that many foreigners are attracted to are the ones that have this issue. If you raise your standards a little, find women from more middle class backgrounds you wouldn't find this at all. Until the break up. Everyone woman is good until that happens.

[a10ams]

My tuppence worth .....

Ignore most of what you read on Stickman. That site is a magnet for horror stories which can, and do, happen anywhere.

Go with your gut feeling, I did and we're still together after almost eight years and married for five. Bigger age gap than you folks as well.

Good luck.

[SteveLynch]

Hey man ,best of luck with your girl.a lot of the comments are from expierenced members ,who have been down the road them selves id listen to them .

your gut feeling wont help you here as you seem quite obsessed with this lady, nothing wrong with that either just try keep your head about you with regards to your money ,it can become not your money very quickly in this country !!

it is extremely easy to give cash away to the girl of your dreams to help her family ,i have done it so often to get burnt in the end .

yes it mabye be ten or 15 thousand baht but they add up at the end to massive amounts of money and there is always the quesitining of yourself of the true foundation of the realitionship

For the posters who say rummage trough her phones and hire a PI to follow her i think as a smart man that you know IF you need to resort to that the situition is a waste of time.

Remeber this she will have had ex boyfriend mabye more than she has told you ,there will be guys in her phone sending her messages and like you they come for a two week holiday and they also think the world of her ,enjoy your time here dont put too much on the line and your heart is more important than your wallett ,

you can find true women here who dont have ten boyfriends they just a touch harder to locate they all are not money hungry skanks as plenty of the male meMbers here are married to such girls and have a honest union

good luck my man

[David48]

David48, well how should I win her Thai respect then.

I'm off to see her in 2 weeks, any advice before I go?

Sure ... I'll roll the dice again.

Realise that there is a whole Forum here on Thai Visa devoted to Phuket

http://www.thaivisa....1-phuket-forum/

When it comes to money, the buying of gifts etc ... I never said no (except to sending her a monthly salary) ... but there is a way that you get her respect.

More on that another time.

Anything that can be hocked for money (think rings, gold bracelets etc) could potentially hocked before your planes' cabin door is shut. Wait a few years before thinking of that style of gift.

You are expected to pay for dinner for you and her, but be careful of hangers on. If the guest is mentioned to be attending ... negotiate first that the guest pays her (usually) own meal ticket.

Assuming that you get invited to meet the family ...

Treat the family to a fixed price smorgasbord meal up in Issan.

Curiously they seem to have fluros facing the street highlighting them. Any of the Forum members also notice this?

Usually the smorgasbords are a fixed price between 100 - 150 Baht per person and you will be AMAZED what a petite Thai can tuck away.

Allow the extended family to join, Aunts Uncles (not all of them will be 'blood' relatives ... more an 'honorary' title) ... invite them all because at a fixed price you know what the cost will be apart from the drinks.

Buy some small gifts for the close family. Ask the GF's advice on the best to buy before you go.

If the advice is along the lines of "Mum really likes this type of cream (200 Baht in TESCO)" and for sister a 100 Baht phone card. Dad is a chocoholic ... bla bla bla ... all is good.

If the reply is the family really need a new 50" plasma TV (Honey, just like the one you told me you have in your home in Australia ... Hooonnneeyy ... kiss, kiss) ... those red flags are waving yet again.

Some of the best advise has already been written to you here on the Forum ... go back and read them again.

Shane, one thing I did notice as a character flaw was that you only ticked the 'liked this' box on those posters who basically said 'go for it'.

When you come asking for advice, keep the open mind and listen to all comments.

Same as the Farmer come harvest time ... rub those kernels (of stories and posts) together and the wheat will soon separate from the chaff.

Keep us posted ... a lot of posters have spent a lot of time writing to you and we like to know if there was a happy ending to your story.

David48

Edit ... external links removed

Edited February 19, 2012 by David48

[Jayman]

I would highly recommend to any foreigner that is in or plans to be a relationship with a Thai to read "Thailand Fever".

http://www.amazon.com/Thailand-Fever-Chris-Pirazzi/dp/1887521488

It's a very informative book on the cultural differences between Thais and the Westerners. Every page is both in English and Thai so that both parties can read and get a better understanding of the differences between the two cultures.