Thailand Expat Scum Card

[Guest IT Manager]

Finally, after much gnashing of teeth and wringing of hands, the Scum Card is now available.

Directions:

First right click on the picture above and select "save"

Choose somewhere you can remember.. desktop is good.

If you are in a café, you are scum, so you will need to beg for permission to print.

If you are at home, you may not be scum, so check whether you are scum before printing, and thereby committing a fraud by using the card.

Print it.

In the big box, draw a picture of yourself.

In the little box make your mark. (an X is fine if you live near Kao San Road and teach English).

On the back, write directions (neatly) saying what to do if you are found drunk in charge of the scum card.

If you are scum, you cannot afford to laminate it, so that would be fraud.

If you find a cheap laminator the above does not apply.

Payment: Give 10 baht to a flower boy or girl and don't take the flower. Say "thank you" when they wai you.

You are now officially Thailand Expatriate Scum.

Congratulations.

[plachon]

I want a gold one

"There's a farang who knows,

all the Scum cards are gold,

and with a word he can get what he came for.

If the borders are all closed,

and he wants to get home,

then one flash of the card and they'll release him"

Gold Scum Card, don't leave home without one!

[pnustedt]

The beer is to be handed out on the first blue moon to occur in May, in the year of the rat. The location of the handout will be notified by email to anyone silly enough to pay.

This is just too much of a coincidence to be true! My birthday is in May and I was born in the year of the rat and I have blue eyes and like to moon. Obviously this card was made with me in mind! Where do I pay?

[plachon]

The beer is to be handed out on the first blue moon to occur in May, in the year of the rat. The location of the handout will be notified by email to anyone silly enough to pay.

This is just too much of a coincidence to be true! My birthday is in May and I was born in the year of the rat and I have blue eyes and like to moon. Obviously this card was made with me in mind! Where do I pay?

Busy intersections are a good place to start (see ITs membership conditions above), but could be a bit tricky if you're in HK just now, Pneu. Perhaps the CEO Ambassadors could be encouraged to promote and stock them? Just a thought.

[huski]

"There's a farang who knows,

all the Scum cards are gold,

and with a word he can get what he came for.

If the borders are all closed,

and he wants to get home,

then one flash of the card and they'll release him"

zeppelin rules

[george]

Which flavours are available? Are one allowed to print it on Gold or Platinum paper, i want to Big Face for my Mia-noi.

Does the card qualify for air miles?

[megashox]

Is it valid for a lifetime like Elite card?

[Axel]

Is it valid for a lifetime like Elite card?

No, I think you have to pass an annual scum-test to keep the membership.

[megashox]

No, I think you have to pass an annual scum-test to keep the membership.

Could I mail my urine & stool sample?

[Thetyim]

Do I have to show proof of an overdraft to get one ?

[Thetyim]

Could I mail my urine & stool sample?

No you cannot.

However there is an agent service running out of Khao San who will courier it to the authorities for you so you do not have to apply in person.

The only requirement is that the stool is firm with water content below 30 percent

If you wish to work as a courier the only requirements are that you have a 30 day visa and a scum card

[plachon]

"There's a farang who knows,

all the Scum cards are gold,

and with a word he can get what he came for.

If the borders are all closed,

and he wants to get home,

then one flash of the card and they'll release him"

zeppelin rules

Too right! Have you heard Page and Plant's recent stuff, like recording No Quarter with north African musicians? Exquisite. They'd buy a Scum card for sure....... they might even do a promo concert for it.

[TizMe]

Too right! Have you heard Page and Plant's recent stuff, like recording No Quarter with north African musicians? Exquisite.

Not exactly recent plachon,

"No Quarter" was released in 1994. I saw them in Brisbane in 1996 to promote the album. OAR-SUM.

[megashox]

If you wish to work as a courier the only requirements are that you have a 30 day visa and a scum card

I dont' think I could handle the job.

[dr_Pat_Pong]

How do we know if we qualify for this card?

Anyone with 350 plus posts on Thaivisa qualifies

[Guest IT Manager]

Yes but you still have to pay for it you losers.

350 posts be buggered. 500 and 15 baht.

Currently we have forged 1,000,000 of them so that target is achieved and I am off for beer Chang wiv me mate.

See youse later.

[leonah]

ok, ok, you've con-vinced me...

I must be fe-mail scum, so I need one.

Can I get it on C.O.D.?

[Guest IT Manager]

I will pay on your behalf, because I'm that kind of guy. You have to print it but, because you're scum..

[leonah]

Oh, I love it when you talk dirty.

Did I really say that?

You gat a lammy machine I can use...

my cling wraps too sticky

[Guest IT Manager]

Too right! Have you heard Page and Plant's recent stuff, like recording No Quarter with north African musicians? Exquisite.

Not exactly recent plachon,

"No Quarter" was released in 1994. I saw them in Brisbane in 1996 to promote the album. OAR-SUM.

1994?

I thought Brahms was modern.

What year is this?

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Take it private IT ...it gets horn enhancing for youngsters hereabouts

[huski]

Too right! Have you heard Page and Plant's recent stuff, like recording No Quarter with north African musicians? Exquisite.

Not exactly recent plachon,

"No Quarter" was released in 1994. I saw them in Brisbane in 1996 to promote the album. OAR-SUM.

i think plachon is referring to a remake of the song NO QUARTER from Houses of the Holy in 1973

Page reunited with Plant for an MTV Unplugged special that showcased the pair performing old Led Zeppelin songs with a world music twist. Some of that material appeared on 1994's No Quarter, which was supported by a world tour.

don't worry you still get a scum card