There Asking Me For Money !

[henleyd]

I got some good news today ! The land that was promised to my wife is hers no need to pay for it is and allways was hers, the mum is more than happy to sign over the the title deeds to her regardles if I loan her mum the money or not. I sugested she doesnt have to pay back the 30,000 if she signs over the land, The mum got very offended by this ! I dont blame her ! I feel like a bit of a stingy asshol_e now ! I said I will loan the money and pay me back when you can no hurry ! Now shes saying dont worry about loaning me the money if i cant afford it !

So we are going there for a holiday in a few weeks and will get the land in my wifes name !

Its all good I am wrong for suspecting that her mum is trying to scam me out of a few dollars! I feel so bad about it !

And whatever happens I feel good knowing that my wifes got a beautiful block of land that my own kids will probably end up with anyway.

[FWIW]

Glad to hear things were not as you feared. the problem is, we get a distorted view. We are highly unlikley to see a thread entitled "My in laws are actually pretty decent, respectable people", while threads along the lines of "low life in laws ripped us off" seem to be more plentiful, or at least more memorable.

Maybe we should all make an effort. I will consider starting these threads:

"Taxi driver took me to my destination - with no problems!"

"Shopkeeper gave me the right change!"

"Staff member did job correctly and on time!".

[strollling]

Its all good I am wrong for suspecting that her mum is trying to scam me out of a few dollars! I feel so bad about it !

Some play it short...

Some play it long...

Sounds like a clever woman.

[transam]

Its all good I am wrong for suspecting that her mum is trying to scam me out of a few dollars! I feel so bad about it !

Some play it short...

Some play it long...

Sounds like a clever woman.

Absolutely correct, SHE is looking at her bigger picture.

OP, keep your whits about you, some here have witnessed stuff and learned a lot.

[macksview]

some great advice here, the rice crops up my wifes way all flooded, farmers awaiting minimal compensation for lost crops, lend the money but get land signed over to your wife as said before.

as stated dont let them start hocking land back to the banks.

[wana]

there are far to many farangs supporting thai families they barely know

this kind of behaviour is making it expected that if theres a farang in the family he should be tapped for cash every month

tradition my <deleted> ,

just treat the situaton like she married a thai man (a 1 time gift payment ,often refunded by the family so the couple can get a house anyway )

no wonder so many thai people think their income should improve if their daughter ,niece or sister happens to be seeing a farang ........

[henleyd]

Well all is not what it seemed I have been in nong khai now for about 2 weeks the first few days I felt like i was being used I paid for the food I paid for the beer for the whole family of about 10 and it all cost me a few K and I was getting worried when the mum asked me for the 30k. I was ready to run for the hills and never look back.

I stayed on and gave them a chance spent a day working in the rice feilds with them, the the hardest days work i have ever done in my life. The locals were shocked as the have never seen a felang work the rice fields before. I was up at 6 am getting food ready for the monks .I lived as a Issan man ate the same food with them sitting an a mat. Slept on a straw mat without air conditioning in 40 pluss heat. I washed without hot water and shited without paper.

What happened next I was most suprised the day Songkran started the family refused to let me pay for anything. I was treated as a king waited on hand and foot the beer and whisky was flowing the food was on the BBQ and I was the guest of honour, not a cent more was I to pay for the rest of the sonkran holiday. I was taken from house to house to meet the rest of the family and friends and treated like a king time and time again. I was loaned a car to drive around in, all my laundry was taken care of, I was given many gifts. Soon I decided to leave my wallet at home as money was no longer required. I made so many friends I gained their trust as I now fully trust them. What a great bunch of people and a great family.

Today we went to the local amphur office and got the land signed over in my wifes name, its a beautiful peice of land in the heart of the village. We plan to build a house on it when we get older.

Two weeks was enough I got so sick in the guts so we went to a hotel in Udon I am now OK.

Songkran in a rural Issan village was the most amazing experience I will never forget it was the most fun I have ever had in my life. We pent a day driving around NongKhai city drunk in the back of a chev pick up throwing ice water at people, for the first time in many years I felt trully happy and full of joy.

I learnt that its all about sharing and giving, peolple take turns in buying the beer and food. Their not out to steal my money it was all in my mind. I think the family spent alot more money than I did over the songkran holiday. My wifes brother drove us 800 klm round trip in a day with 10 people in his truck just to go visit a temple for a short time !!!! I found that bizzar. he spent over 6000 brt on gas and didnt ask me for a penny! the strange thing is we only spent a hour at the temple than we turned around and went home !! Bizzar !!

Thanks for all the replies great advice on this thread guys.

Dave

[harryfrompattaya]

It really does amaze me that Westerners come here and think they owe Thais things because they're poor.

I agree I made a mistake and did give and give looking back I should of end the relation the first time she asked.

This time I will walk and suggest all to walk when as soon as they ask that is the only thing to do.

[JeffreyMcCollum]

Too many times I have been bitten over the last 10 years here. Thais just don't see loans as something you pay back if you have more than them.

Don't loan what you wouldn't give anyways

At times when asked to help with a hopital bill or tractor payment, I ask to pay the bank, hospital, tractor company directly. Funny how things quickly change or for this reason or that reason they can not do it that way.

[ozsamurai]

You're off there (here) in a few weeks, yet you barely can make ends meet, nice if you can do that. You don't find it odd that the loan request came around the time you were due to come over? If it is in fact for the tractor payment, then, go to the bank when you get here and pay it yourself. If that is not possible, then u are being had! You start and it will NEVER stop, and only become more, read the 1000's of threads here on the same deal. Get the land signed over regardless, if you have any future plans pinned on it, you will regret it if you don't.

Oz

[henleyd]

You're off there (here) in a few weeks, yet you barely can make ends meet, nice if you can do that. You don't find it odd that the loan request came around the time you were due to come over? If it is in fact for the tractor payment, then, go to the bank when you get here and pay it yourself. If that is not possible, then u are being had! You start and it will NEVER stop, and only become more, read the 1000's of threads here on the same deal. Get the land signed over regardless, if you have any future plans pinned on it, you will regret it if you don't.

Oz

I am here and did get the land signed over read the last few posts before you pass judjement !! the lands worth alot more than the 30k and its nice to know my wife and kids have got something !

[henleyd]

I just want to say that so many of you ! not all of you really dont like and or trust Thai people ! some of you are just pure racist and you think that you are better than them because you are up on your high felang horse sitting high up on your tall poppys.

Well let me tell you something I am an Ozi (Australian) born and bread I love my vegimite and weetbix just like you but I am not like you high poppy type felang as I have chinese eyes.

Let me ask you racist felang minority something. If you dont like Thais and you dont trust them than why do you come here and why do you marry Thai ladies?????????????????????

[MAJIC]

Don't rely on the inheritence,you have no idea how many other family members will be making a claim.

As this 30,000 baht is too much for you to pay,then give what you can afford,and if you lose the "Lady" because you are unable to give in to this demand,then console yourself,it would have happened anyway!

Edited April 22, 2012 by MAJIC

[David48]

What happened next I was most suprised ...

Songkran in a rural Issan village was the most amazing experience ...

Dave

Thai respect is a difficult thing for us to comprehend, but it looks like you have won theirs.

Well done on doing the hard yards.

As for Songkran ... I had a similar experience last year and it was truly an amazing day.

I think that you have experienced what the Thai's refer to as Sanok ... 'fun in everything they do'.

Why anyone wants to go to Pattaya etc for Songkran is beyond me

[barefoot1988]

for the next time, ask for a loan from them before them asking a loan from you. they will avoid you like a plague