How Is Gay Lifestyle In Bkk?

[justindxb]

will visit bkk alone for 5 days on Jan.

what can i do as a visitor?

where should i go for night life?

up to meet some new friends over there also.....

thanks,

Justin

[Guest endure]

A google on "dreaded ned" would be very useful to you.

[Ijustwannateach]

Yes... and try out Silom Soi 4 as a beginning social base. It's well-suited to tourists.

"Steven"

[Scott123]

you specifically asked about gay life, so here is my personal opinion,

1. sex: if you are younger than 40 yo, decent looking, in good shape, you can get it for free (probably will still be asked for a dinner or a drink). Otherwise, be prepared to pay for it. (If you are old, ugly and out of shape and want to get sexy guys for free. I am sorry, but in my opinion, you dreaming)

2. disco, go-go bars: silom has everything.

3. romance: if you don't plan on visiting thialand often or moving to thailand, I don't see any reason to pursue a romance in thailand.

4. friends: easy to make friends in thailand. But true friendship is built overtime, not just over a few days while you are in thailand for vacation.

Edited December 28, 2005 by Scott123

[Ijustwannateach]

^All of these seem to be good points to me- blunt but honest!

[americana]

you specifically asked about gay life, so here is my personal opinion,

1. sex: if you are younger than 40 yo, decent looking, in good shape, you can get it for free (probably will still be asked for a dinner or a drink).  Otherwise, be prepared to pay for it.  (If you are old, ugly and out of shape and want to get sexy guys for free.  I am sorry, but in my opinion, you dreaming)

Don't be so negative!

[Ijustwannateach]

The way I interpreted his post is that if one is both old *and* not good looking *and* not in shape (*and* it should be added, has no personality, *and* is pessimistic or self-hating), then it will be pretty hard going if you're looking for true love.

As PB and a number of other older posters have proven, only having one or two of the above disadvantages will not rule out finding nice companionship here. As I've mentioned on other threads, one of the most active gentlemen I know (and in the most demand) is over 80- heck, *I*'d like to spend more time with him! Didn't mean to imply that anyone who is simply older is not going to have a good time here.

"Steven"

[justindxb]

you specifically asked about gay life, so here is my personal opinion,

1. sex: if you are younger than 40 yo, decent looking, in good shape, you can get it for free (probably will still be asked for a dinner or a drink). Otherwise, be prepared to pay for it. (If you are old, ugly and out of shape and want to get sexy guys for free. I am sorry, but in my opinion, you dreaming)

2. disco, go-go bars: silom has everything.

3. romance: if you don't plan on visiting thialand often or moving to thailand, I don't see any reason to pursue a romance in thailand.

4. friends: easy to make friends in thailand. But true friendship is built overtime, not just over a few days while you are in thailand for vacation.

thank you very much for your sharing opinion.

1. sex- i am 27, 178cm, 70kg. you might figure it out. but i don't think i am looking for sex over there(but will see how is going on. )

2. i like night life, will have a try.

3. romance? it's impossible right? i won't visit here very often.

4. friends. like making friends. yes, friendship need time. i will check it out.

[Scott123]

The way I interpreted his post is that if one is both old *and* not good looking *and* not in shape (*and* it should be added, has no personality, *and* is pessimistic or self-hating), then it will be pretty hard going if you're looking for true love.

As PB and a number of other older posters have proven, only having one or two of the above disadvantages will not rule out finding nice companionship here. As I've mentioned on other threads, one of the most active gentlemen I know (and in the most demand) is over 80- heck, *I*'d like to spend more time with him! Didn't mean to imply that anyone who is simply older is not going to have a good time here.

"Steven"

You can interpretate the logic anyway you want. But if you do that, sorry, but I am afraid that you must be one of those old <and/or> not good looking <and/or> not in good shape......you try to add personality....made I laugh, hello??.....in this gay world and over a few days visit in BKK?? personality?

Imagine I was a Thai boy....I say to my Thai friends, "oh yea, I met a Farang last night, he is in BKK for 4 days, he is old, ugly, fat, poor...oh, but he has a nice personality!!"

And you mentioned one 80 y.o. case? can you tell me if his young thai boyfriend(s) expect him to pay all the expense or not?

Edited January 9, 2006 by Scott123

[Ijustwannateach]

Sorry, but your prejudices are your own, not those of Thai guys. My older friends do fine dating here (hint: your idea of ugly, old, etc. as pejoratives may be different from those of some Thai guys- I know several who wouldn't date anyone UNDER 40, 50, 60, and up, and up....) And personality is *verrrrry* important here, too.

Someone for everyone!

[Scott123]

Sorry, but your prejudices are your own, not those of Thai guys. My older friends do fine dating here (hint: your idea of ugly, old, etc. as pejoratives may be different from those of some Thai guys- I know several who wouldn't date anyone UNDER 40, 50, 60, and up, and up....) And personality is *verrrrry* important here, too.

Someone for everyone!

You are avoiding my points: Does your older friends pay for the expense of the Thai boy or not?

I hope you can be honest on this, at least.

[flightcrew1]

Good replies Steve - I always enjoy reading what you have to say on the many subjects you seem to have an interest in. Why have we not met in the 5 years I have lived in BKK?

That said - a reply to our friends question.

If you have 24 hour fitness card - then go to Californa Wow - you sure to meet decent guys there for friends and what have you. I have been a member since they opened and am always surprised at friendly the guys are there. If you don't have card a 7 day membership is 1000 baht.

As Steve says Soi 4 for sure. Just sit at Balcony and have a drink...though you are sure to be hit upon by the money boys.

I'm early 40's and still get it free though I'm in shape with all my hair! Ha ha. Again that said my older friends 50+ 60+ and 70+ some with no hair, fat and balding also get it free. Do they pay expenses for the boys? Yes sometimes, but not all the time. If they "working boys" yes they would. The boys who are working real jobs also pay sometimes. Just a matter income I suppose. Remember a boy graduating from university as an engineer is only likely to be making 20,000 baht a month. So if they dating an older guy - well of course the older guy will pick up a lot of the expenses especially if out for the evening.

So that my 2 cents worth!

[Ijustwannateach]

Scott123,

I don't know how I'm avoiding your messages- and I'm as honest as I can be in all my posts. As I've said elsewhere, you can have any financial situation in Bangkok that you want. On my first trip here, I met a young man (10 years younger than me at the time) who insisted on paying for everything for both of us!

I'd have to second most of what Flightcrew just said- most foreign-Thai relationships are not usually completely equal with regard to money- but that doesn't mean that the foreigner always "pays all." The situation with most foreigners I know who are not dating MBs is usually that the foreigner pays for a nice apartment (either working or from a pension), which both inhabit, and the Thai has a job of some sort for his daily expenses/savings/helping the family. So the foreigner has a larger share of the expense, but the Thai doesn't depend on him for his life. That's the kind of situation that most older guys with bfs that I know are in. Yes, there are a few who simply pay for everything, too, but that really is not their only choice- some of the older guys I know like things that way because of the sense of power it gives them, even though they don't have to have a partner they are paying for. I also know guys (once again who don't have to do so) who really DON'T want a long term relationship- or even anything more than a one-night stand- and so they stick with MBs as a way of keeping strong boundaries.

Flightcrew,

Cheers! Maybe we'll see each other at Balcony (or California!) one of these days.

[Scott123]

I guess everybody have their own definition of "dating/dates".

Combine with the culture different, the definition of dating can be vastly different between westerners and thais.

To westerners, hanging out with young thai guys (shopping, having sex, eating...etc) are all part of dating.

To Thais, being with a westerner may be simply a status thing (perhaps in his mind, whites westerners are a higher class group), and to him, it sure is nice to have all/part expense paid. Did he say he was "dating" you?

Now, may I ask you how many Thais you have "dated" who pay for their own expense. You said you met ONE thai guy who insisted on paying for you, this is ONE guy out of how many guys you met? 20? 30? 40?

People sometime bring up one example and use that example to deny the reality. In my opinion, your ONE example is an exception, not the norm.

one person won a lottery does not warrant all people can win lottery and get rich this way.

Edited January 12, 2006 by Scott123

[Ijustwannateach]

Someone's quibbling over straws here, and it's not me. If you want to argue that living and sleeping with someone is not really "dating" them, you're free to go off into LaLa Land.

As I previously said, most Thai guys in relationships with older guys that *I* know pull at least some of their own weight. This includes all Thai guys that I've dated (i.e., that weren't stealth MBs that I dropped like hot potatoes) and most of the ones that I know about who've dated my friends.

"Steven"

[PeaceBlondie]

Is 'dating' an American term, and do we bring over to Thailand the American teenage straight concept of having dates? I don't know, but then I don't know what else to call it. Even if I have a prearranged appointment with a gentleman of the evening, I may refer to it as a 'date' when talking with my straight neighbors. That's better than saying "Tonight I'll be a john with my trick."

But for noncommercial arrangements of a gay Farang with a gay Thai man, what better word is there than 'dating'? As Joan Baez said to Bob Dylan, "You who are so good with words - give me a better name for it."

[Ijustwannateach]

Good post, PB- and getting us back on topic, too!

It might be useful to mention the style many groups of Thais have in going out- for example, if you go to an all-Thai bar or disco. Some people will be singles, but it is much more popular for a group of guys who are friends to go together to a bar, pay together for a bottle, and hang out dancing, talking, and flirting all evening. If someone in your group wants to talk to someone else nearby, it's a common ploy to offer them a drink from the group bottle... this also keeps things on a safe social footing for everyone.

"Steven"

[Scott123]

.... If you want to argue that living and sleeping with someone is not really "dating" them, you're free to go off into LaLa Land.

....

From a Thai guy:

living = staying at a better apartment where I am not able to afford on my own.

sleeping = a sex act

[Scott123]

bear in mind that sex is cheap in the LOS...

You may belive that this thai guy is dating you or even he 'loves' you simply because he have sex with you and live with you. But it is only in your head.

I can not even count how many thai guys want to come stay with me (stay = sex, sleep, live,...whatever you call it). Do I think they are all in love with me? ...well, I know what the real world is.

I am only serious to those thais who is willing and capable of putting in the same or more resource as I do into the relationship. Do you think all thai boys are poor? have you seen those Mercedes and BMW running around on the streets? who do you think are driving those cars? Have you met those gays at the JW Marriott healthclub. How come those guys are not interested in you? and your thai "boyfriends" are always those less fortunate people......you know the answer.

Edited January 13, 2006 by Scott123

[Ijustwannateach]

Uh, sorry, wrong again. My friends and I *do* attract interest from such groups. Only a few of us, however, return that interest- it's not a particularly attractive crowd you're speaking of, frankly.

"Steven"

P.S. Have fun in LaLaLand with your dating vocabulary. As the good book says, "if you are explaining patiently and repetitively to someone something that seems obvious, he is probably a troll."

Edited January 14, 2006 by Ijustwannateach

[DUMPSTER]

Well I have to agree, in general, with a lot of what Scott123 has written, but you can always find exceptions. I have met some guys who have wanted to live with me and be my b/f after going out or dating once. I have also met one very rich Thai guy who paid for dinner at the Dusit and drove an Audi TT. Even in Thai culture the older Thais will generally pay for the younger Thais. In fact I have a rich Thai friend, older than me, who always wants to pay when we go out. It is their culture to do so. The farang doesn’t always pay.

If your coming here for 5 days you can’t make friends, just acquaintances, you can’t find love, only lust and sex and if your old fat and ugly you will have to pay for it. If you’re old fat and ugly with a great personality you might find a nice older Thai guy willing to have sex with you but he will probably look very similar to you. If you want someone younger expect to pay for everything.

As for BKK nightlife well what can one say? If you like the gay scene, as others have mentioned, go to soi 4. If you want to see a show and be groped in the dark then try Freeman. If you want to see a sex show then go to a go-go bar around Suriwong rd. If you want to try and dance and enjoy being pushed and crushed go to DJ and hope there isn’t a fire. Personally a nice cup of tea and a slice of cake are far more appealing than going to Silom and seeing all of those pretentious queens prance around. But each to their own!

And finally once again Steven someone disagrees with your outlook on life and out comes the TROLL word. All I can say Scott123 is that this is Steven’s way of welcoming you, so don’t be put off by it. Did you know he has over 2000 posts? Be careful of the flames that may come your way and don’t get burnt. I see nothing Trollish in your posts.

Happy posting.

Edited January 14, 2006 by DUMPSTER

[Ijustwannateach]

^(a more subtle and funny viewpoint might have it that I am the intransigent one and Scott123's point is the obvious one- but I really shouldn't gloss on my own trolls, should I? )

"Steven"

[Ijustwannateach]

Actually, though, in this case Dump might be right. It's entirely possible that instead of being trollish Scott123 is just incredibly intellectually powerful- and I am missing his point due to my extreme stupidity.

In case that might be true, I should ask, then, along with PB: Scott123, what *ARE* your criteria for knowing if someone is dating you, disinterestedly and without financial gain in mind? Take care, that you've already yourself eliminated the factors of living and sleeping together.

(this should be interesting).

"Steven"

[DUMPSTER]

IJWT wrote: Actually, though, in this case Dump might be right. It's entirely possible that instead of being trollish Scott123 is just incredibly intellectually powerful- and I am missing his point due to my extreme stupidity.

Steven has seen the light

Scott123 sees dating in the way he describes through his experiences. I've had similar experiences myself. It's just a different experience to yours but equally valid and should be respected.

[Scott123]

... it's not a particularly attractive crowd you're speaking of, frankly....

May I ask why you don't think well-off thais are not a particularly attractive group?

[Ijustwannateach]

Fair's fair, Scott123- answer my question and I'll answer yours.

[Scott123]

Fair's fair, Scott123- answer my question and I'll answer yours.

From your previous post, I think your question to me is:

"Scott123, what *ARE* your criteria for knowing if someone is dating you, disinterestedly and without financial gain in mind? "

I believe I have expressed in my previous post that, I would not seriously consider anyone unless he is capable of and willing to put in as much resource as I do into the relationship, this resource includes financial resource, emotion/affaction, time, responsibility, communication, honesty...etc. The last thai guy I dated was an U.S. educated MBA working for an international (fortune top 100) company, who is capable and willing.

However, I have gone out with thai guys who do not put in their share of financial responsibility, I would only consider them as "tricks", and I certainly will not call them my "dates" or even "boyfriends". I rarely spend money on any thai guys the first time I meet them. This is my way of telling them I am not interested in prividing them any "sugar". Most of them know what this means and leave. For the ones who stay around, I may spend on them depending on situations. From time to time, I off boys from bars or get money boys from DJ. They are for the sole purpose of sex, nothing more. To me, prostitutes can never turn to dates.

Frankly, I am only speaking from my own perspective, and this may not apply to you.

Anyways, you don't have to answer my question. This is an open forum, people are free to or not to express their opinions. Personally, I do not seek out "fairness" from the internet forum. I have better things to worry about in my real life. lol.

Edited January 17, 2006 by Scott123

[Ijustwannateach]

Well, no, you haven't answered the question. While you may date only those Thai guys that match your definition of "financially responsible," you have not actually told us what you consider dating to be- as you previously said, living and sleeping with someone is apparently not among your criteria (or not sufficient, it isn't clear which). So, then, how do you know when your financially self-sufficient Thai guys are actually dating you? After all, living with you (according to you) just means they have a nice house, and sleeping with you (according to you) is a sex act.

By the way, none of the Thai gentleman I am speaking of (in reference to dating myself or my friends or any similar acquaintance) fits into any reasonable definition of a prostitute, so I'm afraid I don't understand the relevance of the latter half of your post.

"Steven"

[PeaceBlondie]

Do 'dates' in Thailand begin with group activities, almost like 15 year olds in our home country? Do you then find one guy in the group that seems like the best chance, and you focus on him, and try to get him alone (without five of his best friends)?

But merely spending private time 20 times in a month doesn't mean you're dating. I tried that with my Chinese friend, who became my best friend (in spite of my best efforts to seduce him). I think real dating has a sexual intent if you both get closer to the bed, or jump into bed on a basis other than money or sheer lust.

I've given up on dating, though. Not on sex.

[Ijustwannateach]

^I get the impression that "normal" Thai socialising works that way, PB... people in groups try to find connections with each other; those that wind up the "odd man" orbit a bit further out and try to meet similar types from other groups... that's how I met one of my most recent dates.

I also agree with you that sexual interest is a necessary but not sufficient condition for dating. Sex plus some degree of exclusive shared social activity- that would be a loose definition, I think. Personally, I think living with someone is a sufficient social qualifier in this instance [for example, it covers most nonworking girlfriends/wives]. However, Scott123 has disagreed, and I am still waiting for his explanation of what constitutes "dating" if this one is inaccurate.

"Steven"