How Is Gay Lifestyle In Bkk?

[Scott123]

Well, no, you haven't answered the question. While you may date only those Thai guys that match your definition of "financially responsible," you have not actually told us what you consider dating to be- as you previously said, living and sleeping with someone is apparently not among your criteria (or not sufficient, it isn't clear which). So, then, how do you know when your financially self-sufficient Thai guys are actually dating you? After all, living with you (according to you) just means they have a nice house, and sleeping with you (according to you) is a sex act.

By the way, none of the Thai gentleman I am speaking of (in reference to dating myself or my friends or any similar acquaintance) fits into any reasonable definition of a prostitute, so I'm afraid I don't understand the relevance of the latter half of your post.

"Steven"

I am not sure where the communication breakdown is now.

In my previous post, I said "he is capable of and willing to put in as much resource as I do into the relationship, this resource includes financial resource, emotion/affaction, time, responsibility, communication, honesty...etc." so these are the elements that constitue my definition of dating. I thought this was quite clear.

what I am saying is, sleeping and living with someone maybe part of dating or relationship, but these alone are not enough for my definition of dating/relationship. In other words, to me, it takes more than sleeping or staying/living with someone for me to say I am dating this person.

In additon, I like to add, the emotional bond and affection is the key, not sleeping or living with you, that you can tell if someone is really dating you. Plus, if two people start planning their lives together after dating for a while, I would say they are now in the phase of a serious relationship.

Now regarding the second half of the post that you were referring to, it was not targeted towards you, I was only describing my view and my experience in dating Thai guys in general. I never said your "dates" were prostitutes. But I do view Thai guys sleeping with someone for some material gains (meal, drink, money, cell phone, computer, staying at a nice apartment...etc) as some form of prostitution, but that is only my opinion. I do not understand why you get so defensive.

I am still curious why you think the affluent Thai gays are an unattractive group of people.

Edited January 18, 2006 by Scott123

[Ijustwannateach]

I could be wrong, but it seems nearly every post you make is trying very hard to suggest that those whom I and my friends (none of whom you know) date are prostitutes (see above post where you challenge me to "at least admit" blah blah blah we support them financially blah blah blah, which you later say constitutes a form of prostitution, blah blah blah). This is, to say the least, slightly offensive behavior, and is as I mentioned inaccurate in regard to me and my friends by any reasonable definition of prostitution including your own.

I can easily assure you that my friends and I are not detached from those we date; i.e., there is a clear emotional connection- leading, as you say, those who stay together for longer periods of time to start making more permanent plans.

And thanks for the more detailed explanation of what you say constitutes dating- actually, for me, the intensive living and sleeping together should come *after* a certain amount of emotional and social connection, but I agree that it's all tied together.

To answer your question: quite often the "moneyed set" here have a number of accompanying disadvantages, including:

1. They or their family and/or friends are gangsters (including elements of the mafia, the police, and the Thai government)

2. They and their family and/or friends are other disreputable types (arms dealers, fishy "import/export" types, dodgy construction types, etc.).

3. They and their family and/or friends are socially dysfunctional Thai-Chinese. Please note that I actually recommend Thai-Chinese on my advice thread as the best choice for LTRs when they work out- but many of them are spectacularly socially dysfunctional, and even if your SO is ok, his family might be a nightmare. A night in a bar a few years ago comes to mind, when a young Thai-Chinese man showed his social skills, introducing himself by suddenly walking straight up to me and shooting out a hand to offer me a drink so quickly that some it sloshed over the edge, all before he had said a single word or even made eye contact.

4. They and their family and/or friends may have bought way too heavily into the social status game going on in Thailand, leading to unpleasant moments of snobbery among other Thais.

5. They and their family and/or friends, if richer or "higher status" than you, may have a secret superiority complex or even attempt to control you in the way that richer Thais attempt to control lower-status Thais around them.

6. They may be (ha!) too materialistic and have screwed-up values, placing too much emphasis on acquiring material wealth.

7. They may buy into the common Thai notion that if you have a lot of money you can have as many boyfriends if you want, as long as you can afford them and they don't know about each other.

8. As a result of never having been properly disciplined and made to be responsible, they may be somewhat lazy, sociopathic, undereducated, and selfish.

9. If things go badly and you break up, the disadvantages listed above become 10 times worse.

Of course, there are wealthier types who are normal and wonderful and nice and well-educated and egalitarian- but I tend to think the odds are against you. As always, your mileage may vary!

"Steven"

[boybrat]

i guess that there is someone for everyone in thailand.

there is the pretentious hi-so thai chinese boy who is clad from head to toe in prada (love that brand! and tiffany !!!! pity bkk has no tiffany and co.), theres the once innocent son of a farmer , there's the jaded ladyboy, etc etc. u will meet all types, that is why gay life in bkk (or anywhere else) is so darn interesting.

ive got to admit that all my thai friends are the moneyed types. yes, i do admit that they do have their own personal demons to combat but im sure that nobody's perfect. i prefer to see the good in people. to each his own i guess.

being in the gay scene long enough (despite my being less that 30 years of age. lets just say ive been round the block. thrice. and back. and then some) has given me enough sense to keep my judgements to myself. have learnt to be more streetwise, i guess. im in no position to judge others. and others should jolly well not judge me. we should all learn to tell ourselves , all together now" if it makes you happy, it's none of my business..."

keep repeating that mantra 1000 times a day". honest to gawd, it will make u feel much better, much better than an full-body overhaul at the SKII spa.heh!

Edited January 19, 2006 by boybrat

[Mat268]

...been here for 15 years.....the gay scene is good....be careful though...romance does not happen here easily.....for some fun, then there is plenty to be had...have to pay mind you in most cases, but the websites of gaydar and gay.com are useful introductions....if you are looking for a real 'local' gay scene, there are some places well away from Soi 4, but a basic Thai language would be useful.....if you are looking for real romance, you will need to spend much time here and you will find but not in soi 4 !!

[Hollywood]

The new guy just asked what is there to do on a 5 day visit, and the comments went in that direction....I wonder what he thinks of gays in LOS ?

[Ijustwannateach]

I dunno- why don't you ask him?

Since OP hasn't really kept posting in the thread, it went off on its own- threads do that sometimes.

[Guest endure]

He probably met a nice Thai boy who told him he thinks too much so he stopped analysing everything in minute detail and went off and had a good time instead

[PeaceBlondie]

We answered the OP's questions, and then some. By now, he's come and gone. The remarks above for ten or more posts, might belong on the 'healthy relationship' thread.

topic closed.