Advice Needed....

[monty1412]

My Youngest son age 13 has not responded well since my divorce. He is in Australia at a boarding school and has just got himself expelled for a number of actions ( cumulative sort of thing). My ex wife and i don't want him to go back to the old family home/ area as he fell in with a bad crowd last time he was there and quite frankly my ex wife cant cope with him.

As such there is talk of having him come to Thailand. Im am Australian on a work permit.

Questions

1) Does anyone know what visa's etc he requires.. can he get student visa on basis of me being here with work permit

2) If 1) is possible I assume it would have to be done back in Australia before he departs

3) Schooling in Thailand... brief cursory skim I have done seems there are two options

i) Boarding school.limited choices and expensive

ii) day school... means he can live with me which is good but will require a Nanny as i travel allot with my job.

Does anyone know what a normal farang day school (non boarding) costs. Im in Bangkok.

Any idea of a cost of a good english speaking Nanny ??

Are there other options.. I just checked on KIS website and it looks like tuition fees alone are going to be 500,000 Baht per annum.. do any of the local Thai schools offer dual language curriculums ??

As his dad I'm delighted to think that we can be together here in Thailand and have firm belief that boys need their Dads however it will cause immense upheaval and turmoil in initial stages which i suppose is normal.

I also have a concern that some schools here may not accept him in as he has over the last two years been a bit of a ratbag and I don't think his school life record reads very well. Any comments as to if schools here are pretty choosey about who they take is appreciated.

Overall he is a nice little boy but just doesn't understand cause and consequence issues and keeps on doing stupid things.

Any advice/ pointer appreciated

Rgds

[brit1984]

I can't see visas or his tarnished school record being major obstacles

A decent day school is 500k/year; good ones are a bit more... Shrewsbury and Patana seem to be the best from my research

English speaking nannys are a bit more than non-English speakers, but still peanuts (15k/month ish)

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[edwinclapham]

Sorry cannot advise you on schooling, but I am sure your lad will settle down in Thailand. Yes kids do need their fathers.

The Classifieds on TV carry some advertisements eg. http://classifieds.thaivisa.com/employment/baby-sitters-nannies/maid-or-nanny-aviable-157160.html.

Wishing you all a happy family life and hope things settle down a bit.

Eddie

[brit1984]

You should also budget for regular flights for him back to Oz or for his mum to come over here (maybe fortnightly or monthly); at his age, he needs to see his mum as well, especially as he seems to be close to going off the rails.

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[edwinclapham]

Going backwards and forwards to Australia on a fortnightly/monthly basis will prove very expensive and the lad needs to settle in one place for a while. Not everyone is cut out for boarding school, I know I hated the damned place. Skype is very useful to maintain contact with his Mum until the lad is in some sort of routine.

As long as both parents are in harmony together for a consistent upbringing things should be ok and then regular holiday trips home would be healthy. Being 13 with active hormones he just needs some good TLC from his dad right now, the OP has already mentioned his ex cannot cope with him, and kids are quick to sense this.

[brit1984]

I agree on Skype; should definitely encourage him to use it regularly. Even if the mother is as useless as she sounds, she might miss her son and try to bring him back if she doesn't see him regularly (face-to-face or via Skype).

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[samsiam]

OP said Mum cannot handle him....has willingly given up on him and sent him away from her to boarding school in Oz to let 'someone' else fix him......so doubt she will give a rats unless he is silly enough to pay for her to travel here to see him on regular basis and she might enjoy the free holidays.

Anyway....as for the average good school being 500k plus....poppycock......good schools for 250k/350k and 15k for a nanny is a tad high in my opinion.....10k should find you someone very suitable.....by paying more, you do not always and absolutely get more.

A boarding school here will cost about 600/700k inclusive.

Problem will be if he is alone here for periods with only a nanny.....ripe for running amock with all the cute young thai girls he will be meeting and wagging school.

Exactly what kind of mischief did he get up to ?? The content of such mischief can vary greatly.

I know of a young chap that came to boarding school here, sent from overseas because he was an absolute pain and troublesome at home and school....here within a year he became responsible, the school captain and all that kinda stuff.

[edwinclapham]

OP said Mum cannot handle him....has willingly given up on him and sent him away from her to boarding school in Oz to let 'someone' else fix him......so doubt she will give a rats unless he is silly enough to pay for her to travel here to see him on regular basis and she might enjoy the free holidays.

Anyway....as for the average good school being 500k plus....poppycock......good schools for 250k/350k and 15k for a nanny is a tad high in my opinion.....10k should find you someone very suitable.....by paying more, you do not always and absolutely get more.

A boarding school here will cost about 600/700k inclusive.

Problem will be if he is alone here for periods with only a nanny.....ripe for running amock with all the cute young thai girls he will be meeting and wagging school.

Exactly what kind of mischief did he get up to ?? The content of such mischief can vary greatly.

I know of a young chap that came to boarding school here, sent from overseas because he was an absolute pain and troublesome at home and school....here within a year he became responsible, the school captain and all that kinda stuff.

I have been researching some International schools for Monty and 500K seems very high. Found some good ones for around 250 ish.

I was hoping someone would come along with some sensible figures.

Hopefully an older Nanny with good English with some authority can befriend the young man and as you say this could be the making of him!

Edited May 14, 2012 by edwinclapham

[LucidLucifer]

Shrewsbury and Patana seem to be the best from my research

While they are both very, very good schools (Patana has a great reputation amongst the Thais, and Shrewsbury's is growing), i'd broaden your research a bit before laying down a claim such as that. There are other equally good schools.

I know a things about both schools you mentioned that would throw doubt upon your ranking.

[brit1984]

It is worth researching where the sixth-formers go next after finishing these schools; from the research I did only Shrewsbury and Patana seemed to have a good track record of sending their students to good universities abroad.

By the way, no Thai universities rank in the top 500 in the world (Bradford uni ranks above all of them and I never even knew there was a uni there until I checked the world rankings) so it is better to ignore schools that send all their kids to Thai unis.

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[LucidLucifer]

I have been researching some International schools for Monty and 500K seems very high. Found some good ones for around 250 ish.

Do you mean per year or per term?

The most expensive ones (Harrow, Patana etc) charge approx 900k per year for a day student. You'll have other expenses on top of that e.g. uniforms that don't come cheap, transportation to and from the school etc.

Other good schools range from 500k+ per year for a child of OPs son's age, again, as a day student.

I'd be interested to know which 'good' schools you've found that will only charge 250k.

If it is per term you are talking about rather than per year, please accept my apologies now!

Edited May 14, 2012 by LucidLucifer

[LucidLucifer]

It is worth researching where the sixth-formers go next after finishing these schools; from the research I did only Shrewsbury and Patana seemed to have a good track record of sending their students to good universities abroad.

Oh i'm not questioning whether they are good schools or not, but.....

Schools generally mentioned in the same breath as Patana are:

ISB

Harrow

NIST

And in the same breath as Shrewsbury:

Bromsgrove

Bangkok Prep

Regents

ASB

Ruamrudee

I for one don't hold so much value in some of the top-tier/mid-tier rankings that some like to give schools. As I said before, I know one or two things about the two schools you mentioned, which definitely wouldn't fill me with confidence. I'd state them here, but TV has strict rules on that kind of thing. You are welcome to PM me.

I'd also question your belief that looking at which universities ex-pupils gain places at is a measure of their quality. Too many other factors come into play. I'll state here, it is not a good measure one bit. The best measure for the quality of a school's teaching is value added.

Trust me, it is easy to put levels on naturally gifted children. The real mark of a good teacher is making less able children achieve above and beyond what would be considered their natural level.

Edited May 14, 2012 by LucidLucifer

[bina]

a different point of view:

if u arent around a lot, what makes u think that a nanny will 'control' your son or give him limits, love, and a sense of security?

what makes u think that a 13 year old with adjustment problems (adjustment to divorce, age/hormones, peers, school) will adjust well in thailand?

it seems that one or the other of you as parents should take a second look in to the boarding school to see what kind of support systems they have for children that are in this situation. i havent a clue as to british boarding schools , only here in israel.

i was a house mother (for two years when i lived in a small city not on kibbutz) for foreign kids sent off to israel for exactly the same reasons (get away from the home area, parent unable to control/deal /no time for the child, etc.) - while it was cool for a year as as ort of adventure (a desguise to the kid for being 'sent away' to a foreign country) the kids also received good quality psychological counselling, various activities like big brother/sister programs etc... being in a foreign environment was good for a one year 'shock'. but most kids settle in to the same behavioral patterns once the initial newness wears off.

how much counselling and support are there in a thai /international boarding school? how much is there of that in british boarding schools?( i truly dont know just asking)

israeli boarding schools are set up with all sorts of support systems to help kids out, with or without parental inclusion (some kids were 'removed' from home environments). several of my students went on to be good people, others returned to being the same no matter what, ye others only straitened out when they got in to the army (IDF)...

if u are a travelling dad, how iwll that help your child? what knd of kids are there in thai /intern'tl boarding schools?

it seems that you and the mother have to delve deeper and see what the real problem is, before transferring to another program. we had a saying: your baggage goes with u no matter where u move. ... until you and your son deal with the baggage (divorce, teenager problems, soical /shcool skill problems) he will just do the same same in a new and strange environment.

(some of above comments btw are also from my youngest daugher now 18 , going to do her pre army volunteer year (a kibbutz requirement, previous to her rwo year required army service.) working in a boarding school with young teens that have similar (and worse) backgrounds -- and she herself a child that reacted strongly to her father and my divorce (she went to counselling for two years which she claims helped her sort things out).

jsut dome different thoughts.... perhaps a summer/winter break, or half year shcool exchange program if there is such a thing inbetween england and thailand like a junior year abroad might be something to think about if there is such a thing , where he doesnt live with you but with a family somewhere, but u of course have access to visits etc.

bina