Do We Really Pay For It One Way Or Another?

[HardenedSoul]

Not only is it refreshing to read so many posts that refute the assertion that men pay for it one way or another but I find myself in complete agreement with three posters who I normally disagree with on every level - The Blether, Street Cowboy and The Brit-Kid, the last post from the Brit nails exactly how I feel about this issue.

So thanks to all the positives here and thanks especially to my erstwhile foes in thought.

Add me to the list of unlikely agree-ers.

What a truly awful thread this is - tinged with resentment, misogyny, an element of anti-Thai thrown in for good measure and every post revealing more about the posters than it does about the subject.

Thaivisa at its very worst.

I'm out.

Any chance of an elaboration on that?

[kerryk]

This might shock some members but not all single women are peasants

It would have shocked Mr Kipling

• 
  So be warned by my lot (which I know you will not),
  

• 
  An' learn about women from me!
  

Somebody asked the Sergeant's wife,

• 
  An' she told 'em true!
  

For the Colonel's Lady an' Judy O'Grady

• 
  Are sisters under their skins!
  

[theblether]

Mate, there was a thread a few days back about women extorting money from men on Facebook.

And you wrote to say that you do internet dating. And you said that you flew all the way to Thailand to meet a girl you'd met "online" so that you could have a week long sex holiday.

You can say what you want. But it's clear to me why you come to Thailand. I'm not having a go or anything, but you gotta try to be consistent.

Like this blokes Richard says: Threads like these do help some of us understand what brought some to Thailand

Li

edit......after some consideration I've decided I can't be bothered explaining myself......I'm going for a shower, I need to wash this thread off.

[nattydread]

I think the last word on this belongs to Dick Masterson

[brit1984]

This might shock some members but not all single women are peasants

It would have shocked Mr Kipling

• So be warned by my lot (which I know you will not),
  

• An' learn about women from me!
  

Somebody asked the Sergeant's wife,

• An' she told 'em true!
  

For the Colonel's Lady an' Judy O'Grady

• Are sisters under their skins!
  

Kerry... your unfortunate life circumstances (as outlined in this thread and many others) would be enough to make any man turn crazy; it seems you are no exception

[kerryk]

Not only is it refreshing to read so many posts that refute the assertion that men pay for it one way or another but I find myself in complete agreement with three posters who I normally disagree with on every level - The Blether, Street Cowboy and The Brit-Kid, the last post from the Brit nails exactly how I feel about this issue.

So thanks to all the positives here and thanks especially to my erstwhile foes in thought.

Add me to the list of unlikely agree-ers.

What a truly awful thread this is - tinged with resentment, misogyny, an element of anti-Thai thrown in for good measure and every post revealing more about the posters than it does about the subject.

Thaivisa at its very worst.

I'm out.

Any chance of an elaboration on that?

I think you are supposed to be impressed by the cryptic wisdom of his lack of prose.

I would imagine he aspires to be like that other poster who tries to impress people with a couple of big words with no substance.

More important I would be concerned about why you care. Out of a thousand Thai Visa posters perhaps 10 are in successful long term (over 7 years) relationships. Thailand is a minefield of opportunities for disaster in marriage.

Take all the dangers of marriage in your own culture and multiply it by 100% for problems with another culture and if you don't speak Thai multiply it by another 100%. Add to that absentee marriages and chances for success are almost nil.

I don't know why you seek verification that you are living with a partner for free.

I guess it is a fair question to ask.

Why do you want other posters to tell you it is possible to live with a partner for free?

[kerryk]

This might shock some members but not all single women are peasants

It would have shocked Mr Kipling

• So be warned by my lot (which I know you will not),
  

• An' learn about women from me!
  

Somebody asked the Sergeant's wife,

• An' she told 'em true!
  

For the Colonel's Lady an' Judy O'Grady

• Are sisters under their skins!
  

Kerry... your unfortunate life circumstances (as outlined in this thread and many others) would be enough to make any man turn crazy; it seems you are no exception

In all fairness you are telling us Rudyard Kipling is crazy.

[HardenedSoul]

Not only is it refreshing to read so many posts that refute the assertion that men pay for it one way or another but I find myself in complete agreement with three posters who I normally disagree with on every level - The Blether, Street Cowboy and The Brit-Kid, the last post from the Brit nails exactly how I feel about this issue.

So thanks to all the positives here and thanks especially to my erstwhile foes in thought.

Add me to the list of unlikely agree-ers.

What a truly awful thread this is - tinged with resentment, misogyny, an element of anti-Thai thrown in for good measure and every post revealing more about the posters than it does about the subject.

Thaivisa at its very worst.

I'm out.

Any chance of an elaboration on that?

I think you are supposed to be impressed by the cryptic wisdom of his lack of prose.

I would imagine he aspires to be like that other poster who tries to impress people with a couple of big words with no substance.

More important I would be concerned about why you care. Out of a thousand Thai Visa posters perhaps 10 are in successful long term (over 7 years) relationships. Thailand is a minefield of opportunities for disaster in marriage.

Take all the dangers of marriage in your own culture and multiply it by 100% for problems with another culture and if you don't speak Thai multiply it by another 100%. Add to that absentee marriages and chances for success are almost nil.

I don't know why you seek verification that you are living with a partner for free.

I guess it is a fair question to ask.

Why do you want other posters to tell you it is possible to live with a partner for free?

I don't

[kerryk]

Add me to the list of unlikely agree-ers.

What a truly awful thread this is - tinged with resentment, misogyny, an element of anti-Thai thrown in for good measure and every post revealing more about the posters than it does about the subject.

Thaivisa at its very worst.

I'm out.

Any chance of an elaboration on that?

I think you are supposed to be impressed by the cryptic wisdom of his lack of prose.

I would imagine he aspires to be like that other poster who tries to impress people with a couple of big words with no substance.

More important I would be concerned about why you care. Out of a thousand Thai Visa posters perhaps 10 are in successful long term (over 7 years) relationships. Thailand is a minefield of opportunities for disaster in marriage.

Take all the dangers of marriage in your own culture and multiply it by 100% for problems with another culture and if you don't speak Thai multiply it by another 100%. Add to that absentee marriages and chances for success are almost nil.

I don't know why you seek verification that you are living with a partner for free.

I guess it is a fair question to ask.

Why do you want other posters to tell you it is possible to live with a partner for free?

I don't

You said, “If there's one cliche that annoys me more than any other, it's that "men pay for it one way or the other"; "it" being the company of women in general and Thai women in particuar.

I thought I'd gauge the opinions of a demographic thatmay be at least partly responsible for the proliferation of this myth. “

To me that says I am annoyed that other people think I pay for sex when I have convinced myself that I don't.

I want other posters to agree with me so I will feel better.

The key words that make me draw that conclusion is annoys me more than any other and this myth.

See, if it didn't bother you you would not have said it annoys you more than any other.

And you would have not described paying for sex as a myth.

[chops]

I'm 31 and not fat or ugly. I've always paid my way with women.

Don't you think they should be compensated for this disgusting act called sex?

[wana]

Not only is it refreshing to read so many posts that refute the assertion that men pay for it one way or another but I find myself in complete agreement with three posters who I normally disagree with on every level - The Blether, Street Cowboy and The Brit-Kid, the last post from the Brit nails exactly how I feel about this issue.

So thanks to all the positives here and thanks especially to my erstwhile foes in thought.

Add me to the list of unlikely agree-ers.

What a truly awful thread this is - tinged with resentment, misogyny, an element of anti-Thai thrown in for good measure and every post revealing more about the posters than it does about the subject.

Thaivisa at its very worst.

I'm out.

[TommoPhysicist]

I'm happy that I got divorced, I'm also over the moon and thankful to my ex that I was married and had three kids. ............when I left my marriage I left my baggage behind, some people insist in dragging it about with them forever. Not for me, no thanks.......I'm too busy plotting my next adventure than to worry about money I spent 20 years ago.

By the way, I left my marriage with one holdall of clothes, and one van full of stock. Nothing else...........and old sage said to me at the time as long as you have your health and the ability to earn then don't look back. He was right.

Would you have been as happy leaving if your wife told you none of the children were biologically yours?

I too was happy to leave, but sad to never see the children again. (same game as Kerry but x3)

[Seismic]

Back to the original OP's question....Yes we do pay, or on occasion No we dont pay because she did !!

I have done my share of P4P, but then again I have had evenings with young ladies where I have not even opened my wallet.

Do we always pay ????, No, but whats the problem ??, either emotions or money are involved, If its money then we can always walk away, If its emotions then maybe we dont want to.....

[kerryk]

I'm happy that I got divorced, I'm also over the moon and thankful to my ex that I was married and had three kids. ............when I left my marriage I left my baggage behind, some people insist in dragging it about with them forever. Not for me, no thanks.......I'm too busy plotting my next adventure than to worry about money I spent 20 years ago.

By the way, I left my marriage with one holdall of clothes, and one van full of stock. Nothing else...........and old sage said to me at the time as long as you have your health and the ability to earn then don't look back. He was right.

Would you have been as happy leaving if your wife told you none of the children were biologically yours?

I too was happy to leave, but sad to never see the children again. (same game as Kerry but x3)

As DNA tests become cheaper and more common I think we will discover....

[HardenedSoul]

You said, “If there's one cliche that annoys me more than any other, it's that "men pay for it one way or the other"; "it" being the company of women in general and Thai women in particuar.

I thought I'd gauge the opinions of a demographic that may be at least partly responsible for the proliferation of this myth. “

To me that says I am annoyed that other people think I pay for sex when I have convinced myself that I don't.

I want other posters to agree with me so I will feel better.

The key words that make me draw that conclusion is annoys me more than any other and this myth.

See, if it didn't bother you you would not have said it annoys you more than any other.

And you would have not described paying for sex as a myth.

Well firstly, I don't live with a partner at all so I'm not sure where you dug that one from. The OP simply asks why so many foreign men in this country believe that if you don't pay for it in terms of a standalone exchange involving cash for gusset, you're paying for it in indirect terms.

The annoyance factor doesn't even approach that which might be experienced at, say, a 10 baht overcharge by a motorcycle taxi or having someone jump the queue at the 7-11 counter. I just invited discussion on the matter so stand down, soldier.

Secondly, paying for sex is hardly a myth is it? It's very much a reality in this country. The myth is that if you're not paying for it in cash money, you're paying for it in other ways.

I trust that clarifies things for you my elderly friend.

[TommoPhysicist]

As DNA tests become cheaper and more common I think we will discover....

Completely off topic, but time every child was DNA tested at birth before the birth certificate is issued.

It would sort out a whole load of problems, but maybe not to the benefit of some women.

[wana]

spending time with a woman can be costly,but so can going out drinking with male friends

so can shopping

so can motorsports

owning a nice car

taking holidays

or dining in nice restaurants

some people here are in their 70's and others may be in the 20's ,30's 40's 50's and 60's

of course ,the young guys on ex-pat deals will have more choice to get women than guys retired in their 70s

this will heavily influence whether or not you have to pay for the sex itself ,if young,you are more likely to be considered for BF material ,or

even marriage and farang passport for the kids material than a one night financial deal which may have a set price in cash for the older gents

[Beetlejuice]

I was in a 17 year marriage and my wife bore me three children. I would guess I spent about £600,000 plus during that time, but that would only be a guess, because I wasn't counting.

The day finance dictates my relationship with the women in my life I'm buying a rope..........it's just unbelievable that people can reduce everything back to money.

My wife not only bore me 3 children, but she has also been boring me through the sentence term of our marriage.

But at least in Thailand it is possible to pay for it at affordable rates, so we do gain the benefits of both worlds, that is having a little wifey at home and a bit on the side with no strings attached.

My wife fully understands and I think that having these options makes the marriage more secure and everyones happy all round.

So in some cases paying for it is not always a bad thing, providing it`s done using common sense, don`t get involved and is always there to support the family.

[theblether]

I was in a 17 year marriage and my wife bore me three children. I would guess I spent about £600,000 plus during that time, but that would only be a guess, because I wasn't counting.

The day finance dictates my relationship with the women in my life I'm buying a rope..........it's just unbelievable that people can reduce everything back to money.

My wife not only bore me 3 children, but she has also been boring me through the sentence term of our marriage.

But at least in Thailand it is possible to pay for it at affordable rates, so we do gain the benefits of both worlds, that is having a little wifey at home and a bit on the side with no strings attached.

My wife fully understands and I think that having these options makes the marriage more secure and everyones happy all round.

So in some cases paying for it is not always a bad thing, providing it`s done using common sense, don`t get involved and is always there to support the family.

You do know you wife is having to pay your mia noi extra to, ahem, look after you, something to do with " cruel and unusual punishment " ??

[Beetlejuice]

I was in a 17 year marriage and my wife bore me three children. I would guess I spent about £600,000 plus during that time, but that would only be a guess, because I wasn't counting.

The day finance dictates my relationship with the women in my life I'm buying a rope..........it's just unbelievable that people can reduce everything back to money.

My wife not only bore me 3 children, but she has also been boring me through the sentence term of our marriage.

But at least in Thailand it is possible to pay for it at affordable rates, so we do gain the benefits of both worlds, that is having a little wifey at home and a bit on the side with no strings attached.

My wife fully understands and I think that having these options makes the marriage more secure and everyones happy all round.

So in some cases paying for it is not always a bad thing, providing it`s done using common sense, don`t get involved and is always there to support the family.

You do know you wife is having to pay your mia noi extra to, ahem, look after you, something to do with " cruel and unusual punishment " ??

I’ve had to cut out the cruelty, as it was costing me too much.