I Now Realise That Something Is Missing In Life .......

[TommoPhysicist]

I'll be getting married in August, especially after I learnt that she sold her (unsick) buffalo to get her bathroom up to Farang standards.

Didn't take her long to get a new one, did it!

[TommoPhysicist]

When a 39 year old is asking me for 2000 Baht + a bar fine, I laugh.

One of the problems with compensated dating, the less desirable you are, the bigger the compensation required.

[pattayadingo]

I have come to the conclusion that as far as Thai girls are concerned, there is nothing out there worth having, no matter where you live in Thailand.

The girls on dating and social networking sites that are specifically aiming their sites at farangs, are looking for mugs that are willing to part with a lot of money quickly, the girls who have profiles on Thai dating and Thai social networking sites only, are not interested in farangs, the girls one may meet in bars, massage parlours, nightclubs or discos will also be looking for a temporary farang meal ticket.

Thai girls from the poorer provinces will more likely only become hooked up with farangs if they believe this maybe a fast track method of gaining wealth and status for themselves and families, where the farang will become the village cash withdrawal machine. It is unlikely that the upper class, decent, already well established Thai women will want to associate themselves with farangs, other than for work or business purposes.

It wasn’t always like this, some years ago it was considered a good move on a Thai girls part to marry a farang and would often be encouraged by their families to do so. But these days the attitudes have changed, now in Thai society, Thai women that form relationships with farangs are looked down upon, because most farangs seem to become more associated with women from the lower classes of Thai society, as these are more desperate and more likely to be targeted as fair game by farangs seeking female companions.

Over the years I have become rather disenchanted with Thai women, because unlike in the West, they seem to have stereotyped farang men and it appears extremely difficult to form any normal relationships with them on a true love basis.

These are the sign of the times we now live in, business before pleasure seems to be the run of the mill. The saying in Thailand, no money, no honey, really does pertain to farangs living in Thailand.

My advice is; avoid getting involved with Thai women or make sure you choose very, very carefully, with caution.

I have to admit I agree with a lot of what you are saying, Beetlejuice, but I have met some very good Thai women here. Some of whom have been very good friends.

One in particular, Au, set me straight on a few occasions and dropped several hints about some of the women joining me for drinks or going out with me for meals, when she understood what was being said behind my back. She saved me a lot of possible hassle. Pity she had an English b/f at the time. I would have snapped her up.

On the whole though it is very hard here to have a good relationship and when you find a gem she must be worth keeping. It seems as if these gems are well hidden away

[giddyup]

My advice is; avoid getting involved with Thai women or make sure you choose very, very carefully, with caution.

Ignoring all Thai women would limit the dating opportunities of the OP somewhat as he lives in Thailand (and most women in Thailand are Thai).

When looking for a partner (of any nationality) it is wise to choose carefully and (unlike some foreigners in Thailand) keep your brain switched on.

Agreed. Ignoring them all would be foolish. It is the rip off merchants I dislike so much. I have had some good Thai women as friends and would love to have had them as g/f's but that was not what they were after.

Except for the lady in another topic about the village, I've not found a single one in Pattaya that I feel I could have a proper relationship with, hence the topic

I think you're looking for love in the wrong place. Most Thai women link love and security inseparably, especially from a falang. If they're happy with a love without the security relationship, they can get that from Thai guys.

Edited July 5, 2012 by giddyup

[pattayadingo]

First of all, before I read the replies this topic has generated, I want to apologise for not responding to the replies. I wrote the topic then a good old friend called to see me and decided to take me away for a few days. No internet. Few people.

I'll look at the replies and respond as soon as I get chance as there are messages, e-mails and other things that also need attending to.

I actually assumed irony had struck and you had met the girl of your dreams moments after starting this thread, and dissapeared off into the sunset with her...

Maybe it was one of those nurses.

I wish, but I only saw them once each and was not at my best at the times

[brit1984]

My advice is; avoid getting involved with Thai women or make sure you choose very, very carefully, with caution.

Ignoring all Thai women would limit the dating opportunities of the OP somewhat as he lives in Thailand (and most women in Thailand are Thai).

When looking for a partner (of any nationality) it is wise to choose carefully and (unlike some foreigners in Thailand) keep your brain switched on.

Agreed. Ignoring them all would be foolish. It is the rip off merchants I dislike so much. I have had some good Thai women as friends and would love to have had them as g/f's but that was not what they were after.

Except for the lady in another topic about the village, I've not found a single one in Pattaya that I feel I could have a proper relationship with, hence the topic

Based on the your introduction, and the responses to this thread, I think getting out of Pattaya should be a priority (but you also need to get out of the habit of spending time in bars). While many of the girls in Pattaya may not be sex workers, it is likely those that are not, will assume that is what you are looking for, which might explain some of the problems you have had.

I suggest you come to Bangkok, get a little part time job or join some clubs / societies / charities where you can meet (as well as friends) some potential partners (of the non-peasant and non-prostitute variety) and after some dating, you will find the right lady for you. You can then make a joint decision about where to live and what to do with your life thereafter.

[pattayadingo]

I associate with engineers both male and female from Bangkok and Rayong and have never had this problem. Maybe it is who I am with. Currently I am spending 10 million baht on a purchase from a female sales person who lives in Pattaya. Not a problem. Plus you know who that we can't talk about lives in Pattaya.

it is not the same for Thais who live or work in Pattaya as it is for farang. It is like the difference between working in the asylum or being committed there.

The padded walls in the hospital certainly helped preventing the headaches

[pattayadingo]

My advice is; avoid getting involved with Thai women or make sure you choose very, very carefully, with caution.

Ignoring all Thai women would limit the dating opportunities of the OP somewhat as he lives in Thailand (and most women in Thailand are Thai).

When looking for a partner (of any nationality) it is wise to choose carefully and (unlike some foreigners in Thailand) keep your brain switched on.

Agreed. Ignoring them all would be foolish. It is the rip off merchants I dislike so much. I have had some good Thai women as friends and would love to have had them as g/f's but that was not what they were after.

Except for the lady in another topic about the village, I've not found a single one in Pattaya that I feel I could have a proper relationship with, hence the topic

Based on the your introduction, and the responses to this thread, I think getting out of Pattaya should be a priority (but you also need to get out of the habit of spending time in bars). While many of the girls in Pattaya may not be sex workers, it is likely those that are not, will assume that is what you are looking for, which might explain some of the problems you have had.

I suggest you come to Bangkok, get a little part time job or join some clubs / societies / charities where you can meet (as well as friends) some potential partners (of the non-peasant and non-prostitute variety) and after some dating, you will find the right lady for you. You can then make a joint decision about where to live and what to do with your life thereafter.

I need something to do of an evening

Seriously though, I do meet friends in the bars and we watch rugby, Euro 2012, F1 and football. We have some good laughs too. It is very rare to see me in an ago-go bar unless we are out for a bit of fun.

I would miss these friends, some of whom have been very helpful and I reciprocate, yet I feel I have enough left in me to have a LTR with a good woman and that is what is missing. And she can do things male friends cannot

[silsburyhill]

Not sure, but believe the OP's post was regarding, overall, the fact that, no matter how nice a Thai woman (the word 'girl' is telling, how many posters would refer to a farang 'girl' rather than 'woman'), is the lack of cultural similarities , conversation, shared experiences, knowing where the fck their country is located on an atlas is, and so on.

[TommoPhysicist]

Not sure, but believe the OP's post was regarding, overall, the fact that, no matter how nice a Thai woman (the word 'girl' is telling, how many posters would refer to a farang 'girl' rather than 'woman'), is the lack of cultural similarities , conversation, shared experiences, knowing where the fck their country is located on an atlas is, and so on.

It's a size-ist thing, 40kg Thai lady = girl, 150kg American lady = woman

As for conversation ......... what else would you want to do with a 150kg woman?

(PS only comparing my previous and current wife, nobody else)

Edited July 5, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[pattayadingo]

Even as a male, it's hard to take another farang who lives in Pattaya serious.

It is really hard to take a person who would post something like or like that post seriously. Do you know who lives in Pattaya? They are too important for me to talk about on Thai Visa.

A person is a person. Body and soul and not the sum total of where one lives. Can one get any more petty? How about how far away from Pattaya you live? 1 mile? 2 miles? 20 miles? How far is Bangkok? Is it past your contaminated zone? How about knowing people from Pattaya? Or associating with people from Pattaya? Or calling people in Pattaya? Should you disinfect the phone?

Gotta say I normally agree with you Kerry ....... BUT in this case I have to side with farag69.

Pattaya is anathema to most Thai ladies, once when dining with a friend, he said the 'P' word TOO loud, the waitress then refused to serve our table again. And I've seen that sort of thing happen time and again.

A guy mentions Pattaya and many Thai girls won't look at him or come near him ever again.

That has been the case with me in the past when I've driven down to Pattaya for a long weekend and the women ask where have I been. They take an instant dislike to the idea you have been consorting with the women in Pattaya, they seem to think you are now unclean. One came straight out and said she wanted nothing more to do with me because she thought I might now have some disease.

There does seem to be a large gulf between those who would never venture to Pattaya, even for a holiday and those who work here. Pattaya does seem to have this stigma attached to it and I think it will always be so to the extent I'd have to deny I ever lived here but I'd rather be honest.

On the other hand if you tell them you have been to Hua Hin or Cha-Am they think it is great because that is where one of the Royal Residences is.

[giddyup]

Not sure, but believe the OP's post was regarding, overall, the fact that, no matter how nice a Thai woman (the word 'girl' is telling, how many posters would refer to a farang 'girl' rather than 'woman'), is the lack of cultural similarities , conversation, shared experiences, knowing where the fck their country is located on an atlas is, and so on.

Maybe he should be looking for a Thai woman born and raised in his own country. In fact, exactly like any other falang woman, but with a Thai appearance.

[pattayadingo]

Has anyone suggested that the OP hooks up with the other chap who posted that he has a normal girl he is too scared to make the move on, who brings her friend / sister along with her on dates? She has a chaperone, only fair he gets a wing man.

[kerryk]

Even as a male, it's hard to take another farang who lives in Pattaya serious.

It is really hard to take a person who would post something like or like that post seriously. Do you know who lives in Pattaya? They are too important for me to talk about on Thai Visa.

A person is a person. Body and soul and not the sum total of where one lives. Can one get any more petty? How about how far away from Pattaya you live? 1 mile? 2 miles? 20 miles? How far is Bangkok? Is it past your contaminated zone? How about knowing people from Pattaya? Or associating with people from Pattaya? Or calling people in Pattaya? Should you disinfect the phone?

Gotta say I normally agree with you Kerry ....... BUT in this case I have to side with farag69.

Pattaya is anathema to most Thai ladies, once when dining with a friend, he said the 'P' word TOO loud, the waitress then refused to serve our table again. And I've seen that sort of thing happen time and again.

A guy mentions Pattaya and many Thai girls won't look at him or come near him ever again.

That has been the case with me in the past when I've driven down to Pattaya for a long weekend and the women ask where have I been. They take an instant dislike to the idea you have been consorting with the women in Pattaya, they seem to think you are now unclean. One came straight out and said she wanted nothing more to do with me because she thought I might now have some disease.

There does seem to be a large gulf between those who would never venture to Pattaya, even for a holiday and those who work here. Pattaya does seem to have this stigma attached to it and I think it will always be so to the extent I'd have to deny I ever lived here but I'd rather be honest.

On the other hand if you tell them you have been to Hua Hin or Cha-Am they think it is great because that is where one of the Royal Residences is.

The Royals shop at Foodland in Pattaya in case you are interested. They don't mind. Apparently it is only the folks on Thai Visa who are freaked out by Pattaya.

[pattayadingo]

My advice to the OP is to get a dog. Seriously, a dog will provide companionship, unrequited love and devotion. Plus dogs have never been known to use a claw hammer on you when you're asleep.

I've had two beautiful German Shepherd dogs when in the U.K. Yes, dogs are great companions but I've never fancied having one here (four legged one ).

Yeah, I've read about the claw hammer since coming back on the internet. That is sickening - if she is guilty - but that is another topic.

edit .....

doggy style .... hmmmm.

Edited July 5, 2012 by pattayadingo

[giddyup]

My advice to the OP is to get a dog. Seriously, a dog will provide companionship, unrequited love and devotion. Plus dogs have never been known to use a claw hammer on you when you're asleep.

I've had two beautiful German Shepherd dogs when in the U.K. Yes, dogs are great companions but I've never fancied having one here (four legged one ).

Yeah, I've read about the claw hammer since coming back on the internet. That is sickening - if she is guilty - but that is another topic.

edit .....

doggy style .... hmmmm.

I'm in the same boat, I love dogs but can't bring myself to own one here. I want to be able to walk a dog without having to fend off 20 Soi dogs every day.

[pattayadingo]

As a single man living in Pattaya, for 5 or so years now, though overall over 10, i think you should wait with the move.

You have just reached the 1 year crisis, there is also 2 and 3 -lol

Udon, KonKaen and others will not solve the problem, because a huge majority of bar girls come from those places.

If you do not work or have a business, it makes it even harder, because you do not get to meet the non bar girls.

I did also try the dating sites and while had no problem about where i live, i found most girls i met were ex hookers or "undercover" hookers.

Just relax, stop looking so hard, take a break and go for a holiday around Thailand, never know who you will meet

PS. Took me 10 years to meet someone as you describe, and now taking months to get close

Maybe time to get sick and need a stay in the hospital for a couple of nights

Have to admit that in other areas it does take time to be seen around in the right places before the ladies will start to show an interest. I also found that having male and female Thai friends helped a lot to break the ice especially to those Thai women who spoke hardly any English. The women then felt more confident and were able to ask about me and they at least got honest answers.

[silsburyhill]

Not sure, but believe the OP's post was regarding, overall, the fact that, no matter how nice a Thai woman (the word 'girl' is telling, how many posters would refer to a farang 'girl' rather than 'woman'), is the lack of cultural similarities , conversation, shared experiences, knowing where the fck their country is located on an atlas is, and so on.

It's a size-ist thing, 40kg Thai lady = girl, 150kg American lady = woman

As for conversation ......... what else would you want to do with a 150kg woman?

(PS only comparing my previous and current wife, nobody else)

Nah. Not buying that. 40 kg is a pedophile thing. I'm 51 kg, not a lardass yank woman, same same the men, er, boys.

[pattayadingo]

The views on Pattaya have two (or more) sides.

Plenty of well off Thais go there for a weekend to the hotels. Plenty go for the restaurants. Lot's of well off Thais living there have made money out of the place: Restaurants , building, hotels etc etc.

Youngish well off Thais my wife knows have bought houses there due to it being cheap and the modern restaurants and nightlife etc compared to other parts of Chonburi province. Their families have businesses somewhere or other around Chonburi.

But a lot of Thais will view any Farang that lives there as being there for the bar girls and won't want to get involved with them.

Then again so many girls on the dating sites apparently turn out to be current or ex pros that they won't want a guy from Pattaya incase he recognises them.

Also they will not want to know because she will understand he knows the rules and certain types of women do not like it if you already understand the rules of the game. Helps to wheedle out some

[giddyup]

Not sure, but believe the OP's post was regarding, overall, the fact that, no matter how nice a Thai woman (the word 'girl' is telling, how many posters would refer to a farang 'girl' rather than 'woman'), is the lack of cultural similarities , conversation, shared experiences, knowing where the fck their country is located on an atlas is, and so on.

It's a size-ist thing, 40kg Thai lady = girl, 150kg American lady = woman

As for conversation ......... what else would you want to do with a 150kg woman?

(PS only comparing my previous and current wife, nobody else)

Nah. Not buying that. 40 kg is a pedophile thing. I'm 51 kg, not a lardass yank woman, same same the men, er, boys.

My lady is 42kg, but only 5'2" tall, but she's over 40, so hardly makes me a paedophile. She does look good in a school uniform though.

Edited July 5, 2012 by giddyup

[pattayadingo]

My advice to the OP is to get a dog. Seriously, a dog will provide companionship, unrequited love and devotion. Plus dogs have never been known to use a claw hammer on you when you're asleep.

i would second that, i have 3 and 4 cats to keep the dogs company

Seriously though, having a dog is a bonus on a number of levels

1. Gets you out of the house(if you take it for walks)

2. Makes your life more real, with responsibility's

3. An opportunity to give love to something real

4. Not a bad chick magnet

5. Good test to check out the girl, if the dog hates her stay away from her, Dogs sense what you do not

6. Good to see her mother instincts

7. Great way to have fun, i take mine out for runs twice per day, every day and get loads of attention from girls in shops, cars and everywhere i go

8. If you get lucky or (unlucky) and end up with a clown of a dog (like me) almost every girl i took home, falls in love with the dog, so i am just a bonus

I like this.

I need a baby. Preferably a white one, they are definitely chick magnets gauging by their responses to a little Leuk Krung (sp) baby.

Anyone out their need a pram pusher???? Do I need a WP to pram push?

[pattayadingo]

Dude,

You seem to me to be having a bit of a crisis over nothing.

If you think a girl is incapable of showing or having real emotions just because she works in a bar, then it says more about you than it does them.

My advice would be to maybe try being a Cheap Charlie fr a while and see which birds stick around.

Oh they can show emotions, usuallythey are greed, jeaoulsy, avarice,and contempt.

I'm sorry, but after some time in a bar even the good people are poisoned.

As I have noticed too. It certainly does not seem to take them long to fall into the ways of their peers.

[kerryk]

Not sure, but believe the OP's post was regarding, overall, the fact that, no matter how nice a Thai woman (the word 'girl' is telling, how many posters would refer to a farang 'girl' rather than 'woman'), is the lack of cultural similarities , conversation, shared experiences, knowing where the fck their country is located on an atlas is, and so on.

It's a size-ist thing, 40kg Thai lady = girl, 150kg American lady = woman

As for conversation ......... what else would you want to do with a 150kg woman?

(PS only comparing my previous and current wife, nobody else)

Nah. Not buying that. 40 kg is a pedophile thing. I'm 51 kg, not a lardass yank woman, same same the men, er, boys.

My lady is 42kg, but only 5'2" tall, but she's over 40, so hardly makes me a paedophile. She does look good in a school uniform though.

That will be next. It will be illegal not to date a fat woman.

[TommoPhysicist]

That will be next. It will be illegal not to date a fat woman.

The crime of size-o-philia ......... any man having sex with a girl woman weighing less than 100kg.

Any American man leaving the USA for such a purpose may also be prosecuted.

Edited July 5, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[kerryk]

Not sure, but believe the OP's post was regarding, overall, the fact that, no matter how nice a Thai woman (the word 'girl' is telling, how many posters would refer to a farang 'girl' rather than 'woman'), is the lack of cultural similarities , conversation, shared experiences, knowing where the fck their country is located on an atlas is, and so on.

It's a size-ist thing, 40kg Thai lady = girl, 150kg American lady = woman

As for conversation ......... what else would you want to do with a 150kg woman?

(PS only comparing my previous and current wife, nobody else)

Nah. Not buying that. 40 kg is a pedophile thing. I'm 51 kg, not a lardass yank woman, same same the men, er, boys.

Do you think "lard ass yank woman" is an appropriate term to use on Thai Visa, especially so close to the 4th of July?

[pattayadingo]

come to Buriram loads of fine women around the night plaza and other places.. wish i had 100 baht for everytime a woman here asks if i have any falang friends lol

I get asked that a lot too ,sometimes its a real nut buster

youre out "with " one girl and you go somewhere and one of her friends is even hotter than she is

and it turns out ,she is looking for farang cock also but you cant oblige because your "spoken for "

come to Buriram loads of fine women around the night plaza and other places.. wish i had 100 baht for everytime a woman here asks if i have any falang friends lol

Yeah. Hahahah. I've had that before.

One even had her sister stay over for a weekend. She went out to work and left the sister and myself alone in the house. The sister was nowhere up to scratch and I'd not stoop so low or as stupid as to make an attempt on a sister. The then g/f was pleased with the result.

Many times you are out with a woman and she keeps asking if her, or her are beautiful so they can see what reaction you give. Worst moment was in the car with one g/f and I saw 3 really adorable ladies in their late teens / early twenties dressed in school uniforms and very short skirts and shapely legs. I could not help but look. Did I get some stick over that.

[TommoPhysicist]

Many times you are out with a woman and she keeps asking if her, or her are beautiful so they can see what reaction you give. Worst moment was in the car with one g/f and I saw 3 really adorable ladies in their late teens / early twenties dressed in school uniforms and very short skirts and shapely legs. I could not help but look. Did I get some stick over that.

Learn to lie.

HER: "Do you think she is pretty", YOU: "who?"

HER: "Are you looking at those three girls", YOU: "look at that pickup over there behind the schoolgirls, sorry darling what were you saying"

Edited July 5, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[pattayadingo]

I always found it quite easy to find a girlfriend in Thailand. To find a wife or serious long term girlfriend though for me Thailand ranks as one of the most difficult places I've lived in Asia to find a real soul mate. Having lived in Singapore, Indonesia, Korea and spent time in Malaysia, Phillipines etc each of those countries were easier to find what I'm looking for. A lot of it comes down to society, culture, values, (even on the positive sides) and on the negative side things like racism, brainwashed nationalism, prejudice and stereotyping towards foreigners also play a part. Not to say there aren't a lot of nice ladies here - there are - just not particularly my style. So yes I can share your thoughts on something missing.

Took me about 7 years to before I found someone I thought I could really settle down with. In contrast other Asian countries I'd met much more marriage potential in much shorter time frames, just circumstances didn't work out.

So I guess 2 messages on that score: 1) If your looking for real serious girl-friend material I wouldn't necessarily choose Thailand, and there are plenty of other countries in Asia with lovely ladies too. 2) These things happen when you least expect it, and often when you're not looking.

So yes I eventually married a Thai. I jokingly say though if I'd spent 7 years in a jungle I'd have found the right monkey too! Which leads me on to another couple of messages:

3) It doesn't harm to put yourself in the right environment to improve your odds of where you are though; and 4) I wouldn't try looking in Pattaya for the very reasons you mention, including that many decent Thais don't have a high opinion of farang in Pattaya and you're stereotyped before they've even met you. Not to say it can't be done there, but back to 3) go somewhere else and improve your odds.

And a last one... remember everyone has a friend. While to find the right partner wasn't easy, I did have a lot of nice female friends, and still do, who of course have friends. Those two nurses sound a good start...

Very good post with good points.

Definitely time to get sick again, I think

[pattayadingo]

Move to Rayong, or Chonburi city, or Sriracha etc... all close to Pattaya (easy to go back and visit friends), but totally different scene.

Yep beat me to it.

I don't know much about Rayong, but I know Chonburi City and Sri Racha. As said they are completely different scenes with plenty of industry and wealthy Thais.

Chonburi City is brimming with wealthy Thai-Chinese who built the city and so much employment is provided by them and especially Amata Nakorn that there's plenty of independently wealthy, well educated girls here either in employment or running their parents businesses. Several hospitals for nurses too. Very few Farangs though.

Sri Racha has many more farangs and much better nightlife for farangs/Japanese. Many more better looking restaurants/ westernisedish bars/restaurants. Chonburi struggles at this. SR also has two large private hospitals for nurses. It's a much nicer looking town than Chonburi as well.

Although it does have many adult entertainment bars mainly aimed at the Japanese that you could end up meeting a girl that works in them pretending she doesn't.

Or Bang Saen inbetween, although much better to stroll along to a bar (unless I've missed places) there isn't much more there except the beach and university so meeting someone above university age maybe more difficult.

Good informative post. Definitely worth considering and once I get sorted out and get another car it will have to be worth a look.

[pattayadingo]

and to the op, go for it mate move away,

if there is such a thing as hell on this earth, then that place is pattaya, all the people who live there doing the things they do every nite, they come on here saying bar girl this and hooker this, they want to stand there and look in the miror, becouse without people like them chasing these girls it wouldnt be there, so who is the bad person, the lady who is selling her body to keep her family alive, or the people there taking advantage of the situation??? ask yourself that,!!

i live in a quiet village we have a pig farm,chickens, ducks, fish, but most of all we have each other, and no matter how long you stay in hell youll never get that,

just my opinion, jake

There is that to Pattaya and I will readily admit it.

On the other hand, the reason I came to Pattaya initially was for a change of scene and we cannot deny it has its good points. For me though as I've said previously, it gets to the point where you can only take so much of the way so many women are here and the way women from other areas in Thailand respond to the fact you are in Pattaya.

We can live without women but I still have the desire to want to wake up on a morning next to a loving woman, take her out with me, have a drink, a dance, a meal or simply a day out together. I prefer that idea to what I have now with the 'in your face' attitude that pervades here in Pattaya where so many of the women are concerned.

Seems to me one good idea will be to keep my base here in Pattaya, get better from the accident, get a car and go travelling around again as I did before and see what happens.