Annual Darwin Awards

[Oso]

Yes, it's that magical time of the year again when the Darwin Awards are

bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us. Here then, are the glorious

winners:

1. When his 38-caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim

during

a hold-up in Long Beach, California, would-be robber James Elliot did

something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried

the trigger again. This time it worked.....

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat-cutting

machine and, after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his

insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men

to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger.

The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during

a

blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the

space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver

found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from

Harare to Bulawayo had escaped. Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the

driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free

ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the

staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies

The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5. An American teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head

wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the

injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he

could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter,

and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, he man pulled

a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly

provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20

bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer...$15.

(If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime

committed?)

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that

he'd just throw a cinderblock through a liquor store window, grab some

booze, and run. So he lifted the cinderblock and heaved it over his head at

the window. The cinderblock bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the

head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of

Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed

her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was

able

to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the

police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to

the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there

for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's

the lady I stole the purse from."

9. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger

King in Ypsilanti, Michigan, at 5 a.m., flashed a gun, and demanded cash.

The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash

register

without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they

weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.

******A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER*****

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a

Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at

the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near

spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to

steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage

tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying

that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

In the interest of bettering human kind please share these with your

friends

and family ... unless of course one of these 10 individuals by chance is a

distant relative or long lost friend. In that case be glad they are distant

and hope they remain lost.

No doubt many of you will have received these in your emails however I want to know if there is a Thai version?

I have certainly witnessed a couple of crazy situations walking passed Thai building sites. For example one guy in Krabbi hanging virtually upside down by his toes from some scaffolding, (obviously couldn’t get a good enough grip with his shoes on), welding a frame together and his only protection a pair of ray bans and a baseball cap. The scaffolding was built on top of a pile of bricks and rubble and there was a guy clearly trapped between it and a wall it was partly leaning against. As always according to the unwritten and universal law of all workmen there were three guys standing about watching.

(I don’t want to turn this into a Thai bashing session or any other race for that matter, I just want to hear some more funny stories. I have seen some crazy stuff in other countries too).

Edited January 12, 2006 by Oso

[raro]

I read the darwin Awards since years with a certain amusement. Their official webpage is http://www.darwinawards.com/ . You can get the award by ejecting yourself out of the human gene pool by the most stupiest ways.

Yes I know, it is absolutely not nice having a good laugh about someone else's fate, but then again...look for that story with the guy who attached a solid fuel rocket to his car, and you know what I mean...

/edit for schpelling

Edited January 13, 2006 by raro

[pitrevie]

I like the following quote from Dame Edna Everige, “I was born with the gift of being able to laugh at other people’s misfortunes”.