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Its Quiet, Too Quiet...


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RIBB: Ah cannae believe the forum's so quiet the night, Cowboy. An' there's nebdy here in Sid's, eether.

SC: I think you'll find its the start of Ramadan, and everyone will be behaving in pious and propietous moderation.

I was surprised that Sid's was so quiet, and it seems this forum is too. Are a lot of our regulars closet muslims, like our Imam?

RIBB: There's nowtcloset aboutme, man

SC

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Check this one out http://www.thaivisa....question-again/ Young one versus oldies with a few trolls thrown in.

Its too tempting to post on threads like that, and then I keep getting drawn back; its like a road accident, or a nasty toothache...

RIBB: Ye're dedrightthair, Cowboy. Thatkindaethread is a swampof spleenious vitriol. Ah'm glad Islam has taught me tae let others dam_n themsels, instedaime daein' it. Its enufffirmetaecondemnmasel' tae perdition wi'out condemnin' ma fella-man.

D'ye want anaur Guiness?

SC: Aye, cheers, Imam

SC

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Check this one out http://www.thaivisa....question-again/ Young one versus oldies with a few trolls thrown in.

Its too tempting to post on threads like that, and then I keep getting drawn back; its like a road accident, or a nasty toothache...

RIBB: Ye're dedrightthair, Cowboy. Thatkindaethread is a swampof spleenious vitriol. Ah'm glad Islam has taught me tae let others dam_n themsels, instedaime daein' it. Its enufffirmetaecondemnmasel' tae perdition wi'out condemnin' ma fella-man.

D'ye want anaur Guiness?

SC: Aye, cheers, Imam

SC

Probably a migrane

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I'm agreeing that it is a wee bit quiet nowadays.

Suppose it's like Cricket.

Sometimes a bradman or a tendulkar will have a quite patch, a run of outs.

Still, their record is intact ... if they fire up in the future.

.

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Check this one out http://www.thaivisa....question-again/ Young one versus oldies with a few trolls thrown in.

Yep, a few reputations bruised on that one.

What surprised me that GuestHouse was drawn into the debate.

Don't mean an occasional sideline snip ... full on, no you didn't, yes I did ...

.

I'm surprised anyone let's themselves get drawn into that argument; I've never seen anyone come out of it looking good, and I've never seen anyone change their opinion.

SC

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I am surprised no far-right extremists have been alerted to the use of the word "muslims" in the OP to this thread.

Normally by now there would be a few pages of hate speech, explaining how muslims are all evil rapscallions.

Must be something wrong with their forum scanning software, or maybe the muslim-haters are also closet muslims.

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I am surprised no far-right extremists have been alerted to the use of the word "muslims" in the OP to this thread.

Normally by now there would be a few pages of hate speech, explaining how muslims are all evil rapscallions.

Must be something wrong with their forum scanning software, or maybe the muslim-haters are also closet muslims.

Yehuvinagoatmee,yeeejitye?

Raj

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FirkinL

I'm sat outside the Gashaus, and you know how its nice to be in a pub with Americans, because you don't need to bother having a conversation of your own, you can always enjoy theirs, well with the Chinese, you don't have a choice because you can't hear your own....

I'll never complain about it being too quiet again. I need to get big speakers on my laptop for the rugby ...

SC

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  • 2 weeks later...

I was in Sid's the other day, and the Imam was there

"Y'all right there, Imam?"

...

"I SAID "Y'ALL RIGHT THERE, IMAM?"

I assumed he'd nodded off and I gave him a shake

"wwhmn...Hawaythair Cowboy! Ahnivierheerdye"

"There's no need to shout, Imam"

"Whit? Speekupman, stopmumblin'. Ahcannae heerawurdye'resayin'"

"Have you gone suddenly hearing-impaired"? "

"Eh? Beer or Ale? Guinness, thanks"

"No, I was saying, do you have a hearing impediment? I SAID "HAVE YOU GONE DEAF?"

"I'LL TELL YE A FUNNYTHING, COWBOY. AHCANNAE HEERAWORD YERSAYIN'.

AH WIS GAUN' TAE THE GENT'S BOOTWASH AN' AHMET MAMATE NASSER AL-ATTIYAH TRYIN'TAE GET IN RA BOG.

HE WIS PUSHIN' AT THE DOOR BUT IT WIDNAE BUDGE

AH SEZ TAE HIM "Pull" AN' HE DISCHARGEDTWO ROUNDS AE TWELVE-BORE PAST MA EAR":

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We could go shoot some ducks.

Anyone got a gun, or a sledgehammer ?

Apparently they're all out on the piss, but there's none in Sid's, and scarce few chicks either, but if we're going out to pull the birds, I'd rather pick up a penguin.

The Imam says there's some smokin' chcks down the hookah bars

SC

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Tell the iman to get on his iphone and russle up some smoke n mirrors to go with them hookahs n girls.

As I understand, Smoke & Mirrors are on holiday on the Islands. I've never heard him called Mirrors before, but the Smoke is more of an islander than Wasele Sereve

SC

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  • 2 weeks later...

I'm off for a bevvy with my former boss on Friday, down Ronnie's in the Village, if anyone wants to join us.

He's on a Ramadanescape from the desserts of Dubai; actually I think he's on his summer holidays

ThatDoobeye's a strangeplaice; Ahnivvirseensomuchsand

Stranger than Tannadice?

]

Same same

SC

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I'm off for a bevvy with my former boss on Friday, down Ronnie's in the Village, if anyone wants to join us.

He's on a Ramadanescape from the desserts of Dubai; actually I think he's on his summer holidays

ThatDoobeye's a strangeplaice; Ahnivvirseensomuchsand

Stranger than Tannadice?

]

Same same

SC

The long slow walk through hilltown.....like a forced march really....the eyes....mah Imam telt me tae watch masel up there....sound advice as it turned out in the end.

Saved by my incomprehensible vowel movements so I was.

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Ramadan has finished now, so is it still quiet?

You know the dogs are always quiet before the storm.

As far as I know, Sunday marks Eid Al Fitr and the end of Ramadan

___________________

Ayeyerrightthair, 'n' wecan git back to bevvin' at lunchtime and sex in the efternoon

Not in my office you can't.

______________________

Most people have buggered off back to their kampongs or taken advantage of the long holiday to get away, so Sid's was quiet, and there was seats to spare in TDH.

SC

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The Athletic Arms has been renamed the Tynecastle Arms.

I hope its back to normal tomorrow...and I plan to have apint after my swim tomorrow in the interests of fellow members of course.

I will keep you posted on these worrying developments....

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The Athletic Arms has been renamed the Tynecastle Arms.

I hope its back to normal tomorrow...and I plan to have apint after my swim tomorrow in the interests of fellow members of course.

I will keep you posted on these worrying developments....

Careful manny, thir jist be'in sleekit.

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The Athletic Arms has been renamed the Tynecastle Arms.

I hope its back to normal tomorrow...and I plan to have apint after my swim tomorrow in the interests of fellow members of course.

I will keep you posted on these worrying developments....

Whitabootdiggers,man? Changin' its name - that's madness! How'sembdy to findit noo?

After the rugby finishes (I'm watching springboks - pumas just now) I might go down to the Reef; its a bit of a dive, though.

SC

Oh no - the Imam must be down in Sid's with his iPhone again; I can hear him from here

Helloooo ahsed Hellooo Ingurland...

I think he's lost it, to be honest, and I can hear a woman's voice in the background as well.

Anyway, I'm guessing that he's seen the new moon, and that's the end of Ramadan now.

Edited by StreetCowboy
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Haweythair, Cowboy; Ramadan'sfinishedtwodays and Ahcannaebeleev itstillsae quiet, bytheway.

Ahwizin theGashoos'n' therewiznebdythair.

I guess they've all gone back to the kampongs. The Pie Eaters from Sid's will be saying at home to listen to tonight's game against Salford on the wireless; it's not on live

That'sthedivvil'sgeim, bytheway.

I don't think its actually proscribed in the Qoran, or they wouldn't play it in Saudi Arabia; and I don't think it any more promotes drinking and gambling than your very own Scottishly football. But I take your point that we shouldn't limit ourselves to a purely literal interpretation of the holy texts; my understanding is that your prophet's warnings and prohibitions were based on pragamatic common sense at the time:

- don't get pissed up hammered drunk, don't borrow from loan sharks to fund your gambling,for fear of drawing yourself into conflict with your neighbour

- don't come home skint from the bookies stinking of strong drink for fear of domestic strife

- don't get so pissed that you make bad bets and forget your prayers

In fact, probably best to stay out of the pub, the bookmakers and the loanshark altogether.

Aye, ye've prettymuch got it dedoanthair, but henivverspecificallysed anything aboot pale ales or stouts, or peaty single malts. CanAhcadgeafagoffye, bytheway?

Sorry, Imam, I don't smoke. But surely even though he ddn't mention specific brand names, you should stay away from anything that will evoke strong feeling and bring you into conflict with your fellow man, or anything that might prove addictingly distractive from the five pillars of Islam and your quindiurnal prayer commitments - whether that might be strong drink, addictive drugs, Thai soap operas or posting on internet forums

Crivvens, man! Checkthetime! Ah'vegoattaebegaun - Ah'm latefirthe evenin'prayers,man. Well,Ah've lerntmalessonnow,justliketheboys at the Madrasah telt us.

They warned you about soap operas and the internet?

Nah,man; thedangersae' intelligent discussion... Ah'vegoattaebegaun....

Edited by StreetCowboy
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  • 6 months later...

...

...

Wuh.. mnmnm.. Hawa! Sorry, I was just concentrating for a moment there...

I was in the Reef the other night there, it's a bit of a dive but the friendliest pub in these parts.

It's the only place that sometimes puts a Reserved sign on the fish tank, for some of the regulars.

Anyway, Nessie the barmaid persuaded Auld Jimmy to join the singer-musician on stage. He mumbled something, and to avoid losing face the musician nodded nervously.

"Hhnrrn wahnoo hnaarr

Hnaaarwhoo wahoonn

Bauaurrrn frREEEEeeEEeEE"

and suddenly the guitarist knew what it was and started playing slightly less non-committally.

Anyway, then Jimmy sat down and the musician was all on is own. I suspect he'd enjoyed his break between sets a bit much

SC

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