No More Dogs...My Wife Said!

[muchogra]

She said that not because she dislikes dogs; in fact, she loves dogs. One dog just passed away aabout 2 hour ago. Another one passed away about 2 weeks ago. They were 13 and 14. Every time one passed away, my wife cried hard - a total of 12 or 13 times in the past few years. Our youngest dog that passed away was 10 years old. We still have 5 more ranging in age from 13 to 17. I felt bad each time also and feel especially bad for this one who's attached to me. Every time I went to my wife's bedroom, he would come to my side from his usual hideout in the bedroom. Every time my wife was eating fruit or cake but I was not, he would stand up on my side of the bed instead of my wife's. This one is truly a farang dog (sorry Nancy) who loves bread, potato, spaghetti, cake, pizza, icecream, etc...No, please don't assume we fed him this kind of food often. We rarely fed him such except fruits and bread.

I'm not sure why I'm making this post. I think I'm, kind of, regret we put this one in the vet hospital for 5 days and then the vet told us to take him home 2 days ago for his last moment. He was alive and well before we took him to the vet. He walked normal and was even kicking his hind leg to shake off the pee after urinating hours before we took him to the vet since he had lost appetite, had anemia, blinded, and seemed to have blood in his bowel. He went into the hospital walking but came out not able to even crawl. He was diagnosed as CRF (Chronic Renal Failure). From all the symptoms he had exhibited over the past few months, I believe such was the case. All the treatments the vet adminstered seem right for CRF. I believe overdose of Western medicines has detrimental effect. Vets, or doctors for humans, go by the book of administering medicines to fight this and that but often overlook the side effects these various medicines that can incur detrimental effects to an already weak body.

I don't blame anyone on this. I console my wife to count it as a blessing that he did not suffer and had his last 2 days under our care and love he certainly knew judging from the fact that when he cried but stopped when we patted him. Inside me, I feel sorry for the 5 days he stayed in the hospital without our company though we visited him everyday. I can't tell my wife this which would make her even sadder. I'm telling it here and I guess this is why I make this post. Thank you for reading.

ps: My doggie is lying beside me inside a paper carton in my study room with the a/c on. Tommorow morning (oh, this morning) some guy from a company will come and we will go together to a temple to get him cremated and the ashes put into a vase for us to put him in our Buddha room. Man, life is short. Everyone turns into ashes when we go. Just be cool while living!

[endure]

Sorry to hear about your loss Muchogra. Get the wife a new puppy as a surprise. She'll soon forget about not wanting any more dogs.

[stacks]

Sorry to hear about your loss Muchogra. Get the wife a new puppy as a surprise. She'll soon forget about not wanting any more dogs.

This.

Sorry for your loss, bud.

[NaMah]

Very sorry to read of your loss muchogra.

Part of the reason we grieve so profoundly for dogs is that they are innocent creatures and love us unconditionally. I've been devasted by the loss of every dog I've ever had, it doesn't get easier. The richness they bring to our lives is not diminshed by how bad we feel when they depart and I believe it is worth it. Its better to have dogs and feel badly when they go than not have dogs at all. A dog is man's best friend and the first animal that crossed the gap from wild animals to be our friends.

[T_Dog]

muchogra...... You are so right about living life, and if any creature has that skill, it is a dog. Condolences to you two on what you are going through and be patient. When I lost a very special yellow lab years ago, I said no too, but a time came when another did happen along.

[ARISTIDE]

My rabbit also died in the hospital with out our company. I was devastated also because the fact that I should have been there for him. I also said to the wife 'no more rabbit'

[Nienke]

I'm sorry for your loss, Muchogra. I feel your pain.

Aristide, in case you change your mind over time: http://www.kellysthailand.com/bunny_luv_rabbit_sanctuary.html

[NancyL]

So sorry for the loss of your family member, Muchagra.

As someone who has also experienced the loss of pets, I'd suggest waiting an appropriate period -- probably several months or longer -- before thinking about getting a puppy.

When people suggest getting a puppy immediately, I don't think they understand the importance of a pet in the family. It's not like immediately replacing an appliance when it fails. It's more like telling someone to go out immediately a find a new wife at the funeral of their late wife.

[tolstoy]

weve lost 3 dogs and we will never get another either. The loss is sometimes even harder to take than that of family dying.

Buying your wife a puppy might be the worst idea that I have ever heard.

Getting over grief is not done by replacing things. But that poster probably got cookies from his mommy when he cut his knee.

Just be supportive don't try and fix the problem. Men get in trouble when they try to solve their wive's problems. Most women just want quiet support.

[phl]

It is indeed very painful when we lose one of our best friends

I am also sorry for your loss.

I am certain dog knew how much you loved him

Getting a new puppy always helps, and takes away some pain

[Tywais]

Truly sorry for you loss and fully understand what you are going through as we lost our GR two months ago. I also agree, that a 'surprise' puppy is not a good idea as it will never be a 'replacement' which is what they will be wanting this early after his passing. Not fair to the new pet nor to the wife. It should be a joint decision and at the moment she is saying 'no'. My wife said the same thing, that she doesn't want to hurt that much again. But I know her and odds are I will see a new face pressing against our front door screen sometime in the future.

Just take time and let the grief pass, though easier said than done I know. Even after two months, I get a twinge of pain thinking about him. But I also will smile remembering the fun moments.

[Joop50]

2 weeks ago someone found it necassary to poisoin my dog to dead.

Behind my grief lies the love I felt for my dog and he felt for me.

One day he just appears, I gave him a good life until that fatal day, which give me some consolation.

I feel sorry for your loss.

[phl]

Truly sorry for you loss and fully understand what you are going through as we lost our GR two months ago. I also agree, that a 'surprise' puppy is not a good idea as it will never be a 'replacement' which is what they will be wanting this early after his passing. Not fair to the new pet nor to the wife. It should be a joint decision and at the moment she is saying 'no'. My wife said the same thing, that she doesn't want to hurt that much again. But I know her and odds are I will see a new face pressing against our front door screen sometime in the future.

Just take time and let the grief pass, though easier said than done I know. Even after two months, I get a twinge of pain thinking about him. But I also will smile remembering the fun moments.

I do not think the new puppy is a replacement as we can never get the same personality dog, but that cute face and need of care fills the empty gap in the heart

[hedonist44]

I must agree that to bring home a new puppy now may not be in your best interest. I (from experience) find it is much better to let some time go by and then if your wife has a change of heart, which she most likley will, then you can find the suitable new puppy together.

Very sorry to hear of your loss.

[mogoso]

Oddly it's not easy for me to get real sad to learn someone I don't knows dies. But animals particulary those that become close to us (cats and dogs) I get sad. Dogs are such forgivimg and loving creatures. There to meet you at the door or in the yard when you return, barking and happy as if its days rather that one hour or more since you left. Sitting in a chair they'll come up under your hand to say hi, pat me on the head, or roll on their backs for scratch my tummy.

I'm sorry for your loss but a puppy will reinvigorate your older dogs, don't wait too long, there is one out there that wants your love.

[Thailand]

We feel for you also.

Lost our lovely German Shepherd of 11 years 3 weeks ago to spleen cancer,she passed away peacefully in my wife's arms.Lots of tears all around.

She is the fourth one to leave us over the past 7 years and she joins her old friends under the Bodhi tree.

I won't say we will never have another dog,still have one, but not at the moment.

One of the terrible things about losing pets who are as much of the part of most families as are the children is that it is rare that children die before the parents,sadly it is normal for the dogs to pass before the owners,very tough!

Perhaps we could have a "pet memorial thread" on the forum? Just a thought.

[sbk]

Losing a pet is hard, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. We too have lost many over the years, the last one was my dog who passed away from old age at about the age of 16 three years ago.I still miss him. However we still have three dogs, now about 12 years old and still healthy and happy, and I know my heart will break when they too pass away.

Its not so much looking for a dog to replace the old one, but that one will show up in your life somehow and you wont' be able to say no, at least that's the what has always happened to me. Although I never did get a replacement for beloved cat that died at the age of 17.

[KNJ]

Sorry to hear, but the next dog do not feed fruit and bread, it is not their natural diet, and will not benefit them

[OneZero]

http://petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together.

There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

Edited July 29, 2012 by OneZero

[puuchai299]

Very sorry ,can fully understand your feelings,Time will help...

[JimShortz]

Losing a loved one is a very painful thing. So painful that we may choose to avoid putting ourselves in that position again, but...

I received this in an email from a friend recently, and I found it an amazing reminder to cherish the ones we love and enjoy the life we have. I don’t know who wrote this story, but thank you:

"Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year-old Irish Wolfhound named Belker. The dog’s owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle.

I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. I told the family we couldn’t do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year-old Shane to observe the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience.

The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Belker ‘s family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Belker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker’s transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker’s Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.

Shane, who had been listening quietly, piped up, ”I know why.”

Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I’d never heard a more comforting explanation. It has changed the way I try and live.

He said,”People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life — like loving everybody all the time and being nice, right?” The Six-year-old continued,

”Well, dogs already know how to do that, so they don’t have to stay as long.”

Live simply.

Love generously.

Care deeply.

Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure Ecstasy.

Take naps.

Stretch before rising.

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you’re happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you’re not.

If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY!"

[Ausladyinpatong]

Mochugra, I'm so sorry for your loss.

Thanks for posting as all of us here have had to face or will face the inevitable loss of a beloved four legged family member at some point and sharing helps.

JimShortz, who knows where that story came from but it brought tears...my poor pup is recovering from a nasty bite from a dog at the beach at the moment, Elizabethan collar, staples and all, but she's still happy and getting on with her job of keeping me company while I work...and she's so good at it! Dogs really do have the greatest outlook on life.

Again Mochugra, my condolences to you and your wife. I think what you're doing; having a cremation ceremony and keeping his ashes in your Budha room is really beautiful.

[jaapfries]

So sorry for the loss of your family member, Muchagra.

As someone who has also experienced the loss of pets, I'd suggest waiting an appropriate period -- probably several months or longer -- before thinking about getting a puppy.

When people suggest getting a puppy immediately, I don't think they understand the importance of a pet in the family. It's not like immediately replacing an appliance when it fails. It's more like telling someone to go out immediately a find a new wife at the funeral of their late wife.

@NancyL - I'll tell you that when we lost our Foxy, a few years ago; we cried for 3 days. Then; after that, for many months, whenever I paid attention to dogs who happened on my path (I always interact with dogs) I actually felt a "Pang-of-Guilt" ! ! - Like I was "cheating" on our Foxy . . . . what a strange situation that was. Took a long time to get over and still now, whenever I stand by her grave; the water wells-up to just behind my eyes: never realized how much a dog could mean to me . . . . . .

[muchogra]

Thank you all for the good advice and stories and I appreciate your condolences. I will relate them to my wife and she will certainly appreciate them. I offer you thanks on her behalf.

My wife has gotten better especially after our kids called to say that it’s a natural progression of matters in life. More importantly, they told her we had given them love and attention, good healthy food, good clean environment and the medical attention when they needed…Good kids!

For me, I’m trying to overcome my pain thinking about the 5 days he was in the hospital, being so helpless with needles and morphine shoulder pad on his body, being clueless as to where we were and wondering if he was being punished. It’ll take some time to heal!

It’s rather ironic that it’s often our kids who tell us to look at the positive side of things instead of the negative one. I think we must be either getting grumpy as we get older or getting more compassionate after having seen our loved ones, particularly our parents, passed away in recent years.

Thank you all. And yes, look at the positive side of things – this is what my wife and I, who have been married for a few decades since we were 17, say to ourselves when we get moody due either to anger or sorrow.

p.s.: Our dog was cremated on Sunday and the ashes wrapped in a white cloth. We were asked if we wanted the ashes put in a mud vase and sunk into the ocean like many, or most, Thais would do with humans. We elected to take it home instead.

[endure]

I have the ashes of my last dog in a wooden box.

Edited July 30, 2012 by endure