Brian

Brian came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinko drunk, as

he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already

asleep.

He gave a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.

When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed

wearing a long flowing white robe.

"Who the hel_l are you?" Demanded Brian, "and what are you doing in my

bedroom?".

The mysterious Man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter".

Brian was stunned "You mean I'm dead!!! That can't be, I have so much to

live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family.... you've got to send me

back straight away".

St Peter replied "Yes you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We

can only send you back as a dog or a hen." Brian was devasted, but

knowing there was a farm not far from his house, he asked to be sent

back as a hen. A flash of light later he was covered in feathers and

clucking around pecking the ground. "This ain't so bad" he thought until

he felt this strange feeling welling up inside him.

The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how

are you enjoying your first day here?" "It's not so bad" replies Brian,

"but I have this strange feeling inside like I'm about to explode".

"You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never

laid an egg before". "Never" replies Brian "Well just relax and let it

happen" And so he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an

egg pops out from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept

over him and his emotions got the better of him as he experienced

motherhood for the first time. When he laid his second egg, the feeling

of happiness was overwhelming and he knew that being reincarnated as a

hen was the best thing that ever happened to him... ever!

The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he

felt an enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife

shouting "Brian, wake up you drunken bas*ard, you're sh*tting the bed"