DerekMarshall Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 (edited) What are the traditions rleated to a Thai marriage and Engagement to a Thai lady. Is it true that 50% of the dowry has to be paid in cash upon engagement and returned if you do not marry the said lady? Is it true that you must set an exact date with her father before he gives his permission to marry? Anything else that I should be made aware of? Edit. The Lady was once married and now seperated, is it true that Thais do not have such official certificates such decrees of divorce or the requiremnet to prove that they have never or are not currently married from their own government? Edited August 30, 2012 by DerekMarshall Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommoPhysicist Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 (edited) A dowry is something you pay for a 15 year old village virgin on the night you 'deflower' her. They only get it once. So to answer your question, I would think NO to advance payment requests. Them even asking tells me what they think about you (daft as a brush). You might want to reconsider the whole 'village wedding' thing and suggest a proper wedding at the Amphur office. Edited August 30, 2012 by TommoPhysicist 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beano2274 Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Dowry is paid at the wedding, was at mine. The engagement was just a small party with friends and family. I got married at Ruenjoawsao, all done in the traditional Thai style. You can have the village wedding and then get married at the Amphur whenever, remember you will need a lot of documentation done before you can get married. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DerekMarshall Posted August 30, 2012 Author Share Posted August 30, 2012 A dowry is something you pay for a 15 year old village virgin on the night you 'deflower' her. They only get it once. So to answer your question, I would think NO to advance payment requests. Them even asking tells me what they think about you (daft as a brush). You might want to reconsider the whole 'village wedding' thing and suggest a proper wedding at the Amphur office. Dowry is paid at the wedding, was at mine. The engagement was just a small party with friends and family. I got married at Ruenjoawsao, all done in the traditional Thai style. You can have the village wedding and then get married at the Amphur whenever, remember you will need a lot of documentation done before you can get married. Sorry I refere to an Isaan Engagement and Wedding. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 If she has been married before, you pay nothing, EXCEPT, for show. Put it on the table at the wedding and put it in your pocket after. If she was legally married she will have to show the divorce paper at your wedding. It is ALL on computer. A village wedding means nothing, just a booze up. Do lots of homework here. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommoPhysicist Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 (edited) I see your edit .......... In such a case, Issan tradition would be NO dowry payment, as I said earlier they only get it once. The village wedding (as you have described) has no meaning in Thai law (or any other countries law). Beware, some ladies have been known to have a village wedding with a different foreigner every year, and nobody would tell on them. Marriage and divorce take place at the Amphur Office, where ALL Thai citizens have their marital status officially recorded. Official documents are issued at each marriage or divorce. It is not completely unknown for a married Thai lady to have a 'village wedding' with a foreigner. By Issan tradition her real Thai husband would then be referred to as 'her brother' or 'your gardener'. The village wedding gives no benefits to the foreigner, no cheaper Visa, no rights over any children. It is mainly an excuse to extract money from an unwary foreigner. Edited August 30, 2012 by TommoPhysicist 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ripstanley Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 My village wedding was at the Amphur office. Very cheap way to go. We do not live in Isaan but up north. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgs2001uk Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Oh dear oh dear not again, another faranag sucker being led like a buffalo by the nose to the nearest ATM. Read the post by TP above and heed. "What are the traditions rleated to a Thai marriage and Engagement to a Thai lady. Is it true that 50% of the dowry has to be paid in cash upon engagement and returned if you do not marry the said lady? Is it true that you must set an exact date with her father before he gives his permission to marry?' To answer your questions, NO and NO. "Anything else that I should be made aware of?" Yes is they ask for any sort of sin sot they are taking the piss and should be kicked to the kerb asap. "The Lady was once married and now seperated, is it true that Thais do not have such official certificates such decrees of divorce or the requiremnet to prove that they have never or are not currently married from their own government?" "is it true that Thais do not have such official certificates" NO. The lady may have had a for show village wedding that has no legal status, but you can bet your bottom dollar sins ot was paid. The only legal way to get married is at the local amphur office, if she was wed there certificates of marriage and divorce will exist. The above is all a moot point, as far as the natives are concerned she is no longer "meu mai" but "meu song", and as such no sin sot need be paid. If however you hear the old, tam jai, or up to you, if you have a good heart etc etc, then by all means pay it. I wouldnt rule it out under certain conditions, all depends what the girl is bringing to the marriage, most seem to bring nothing but baggage, kids and hard luck stories. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DerekMarshall Posted August 30, 2012 Author Share Posted August 30, 2012 Thanks guys. Been looking for info online. n Thailand, bride price (Thai: สินสอด, pronounced [sĭn sòt] and often erroneously referred to by the English term "dowry") is common in both Thai-Thai and Thai-foreign marriages. The bride price may range from nothing, if the woman is divorced, has a child fathered by another man, or is widely known to have had premarital relations with men; to millions of Thai baht (US$30,000) for a woman of high social standing, a beauty queen, or a highly educated woman. The bride price in Thailand is paid at the engagement ceremony, and consists of three elements: cash, Thai (96.5% pure) gold, and the more recent Western tradition of a diamond ring. The most commonly stated rationale for the bride price in Thailand is that it allows the groom to demonstrate that he has enough financial resources to support the bride (and possibly her family) after the wedding. In many cases, especially when the amount is large, the parents of a Thai bride will return all or part of the bride price to the couple in the form of a wedding gift following the engagement ceremony. from wiki http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bride_price Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beano2274 Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I had to pay sinsod for my wife, my MIL knew that I did not have the cash for it, so she gave me the money for show, and took it back as is the way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rics21 Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 What are the traditions rleated to a Thai marriage and Engagement to a Thai lady. Is it true that 50% of the dowry has to be paid in cash upon engagement and returned if you do not marry the said lady? Is it true that you must set an exact date with her father before he gives his permission to marry?Anything else that I should be made aware of? Edit. The Lady was once married and now seperated, is it true that Thais do not have such official certificates such decrees of divorce or the requiremnet to prove that they have never or are not currently married from their own government? Guess u r scammed. Another farang falling in love with the wrong girl. Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgs2001uk Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 I had to pay sinsod for my wife, my MIL knew that I did not have the cash for it, so she gave me the money for show, and took it back as is the way. Excellent, always good to read of such stories. Consider yourself lucky, there was some poor sap on here recounting how, his MIL offered to loan him the money at at very good interest rate. Some of these people never miss a trick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rics21 Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Anyway, when I was married. 10k usd, 10 baht of gold and diamond rings. Weddings were held in both songkhla and farangland. My in-laws paid for the wedding in songkhla. And I paid for the wedding back home. The total amount of 10k was returned to me and my wife. The gold are now on my neck, my wife's neck, safe box,.... Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Anyway, when I was married. 10k usd, 10 baht of gold and diamond rings. Weddings were held in both songkhla and farangland. My in-laws paid for the wedding in songkhla. And I paid for the wedding back home. The total amount of 10k was returned to me and my wife. The gold are now on my neck, my wife's neck, safe box,.... Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App Medallion man eh , hope your not the bloke l saw with the ridiculous syrup to match. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 To the OP DerekMarshall ... if you are simply referring to the tradition of the SinSot you have asked the question time immemorial about Thai Weddings. There is an excellent whole topic devoted to the question at the top of this Forum and the direct link can be found here at Sin Sod - An Explanation (clickable link). Everyone’s opinion and experience varies greatly ... as does the expectation by the Thai Family. There is no 'right and wrong' answer, despite what someone screams in their advice ... decide for yourself. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 ^^ As for Is it true that you must set an exact date with her father before he gives his permission to marry? ... that's a new one for me.But I can tell you that recently, I wished to attend the wedding of my gf's gf and partner ... lovely couple. The original date planned was close to the end of my Visa. But then the soon-to-be-bride visited the local Temple and was advised that the proposed date for the wedding would not be 'lucky' for them and that a date a month later would bring them better luck for their union ... Where I come from, the Best Man's job is, among other things, to make sure that the wedding is not schedule for the Fottball play-offs, or heaven forbid ... Grand Final Day ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrTuner Posted August 30, 2012 Share Posted August 30, 2012 Haven't heard of a deposit. It's carried to the house on a platter during the wedding and then checked for validity and amount by the elders. A one time payment. If there are arrengements to get it back, they aren't a part of the ritual. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rics21 Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Haven't heard of a deposit. It's carried to the house on a platter during the wedding and then checked for validity and amount by the elders. A one time payment. If there are arrengements to get it back, they aren't a part of the ritual. Half of the sinsod is given upon engagement. Its given upon u mun. Not really something commoners do nowadays. Its more common with the dara/ Hiso/ elites. Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrTuner Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Haven't heard of a deposit. It's carried to the house on a platter during the wedding and then checked for validity and amount by the elders. A one time payment. If there are arrengements to get it back, they aren't a part of the ritual. Half of the sinsod is given upon engagement. Its given upon u mun. Not really something commoners do nowadays. Its more common with the dara/ Hiso/ elites. Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App Oh ok, so a downpayment. Is there a return policy too, in case the goods aren't what is promised ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beano2274 Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Haven't heard of a deposit. It's carried to the house on a platter during the wedding and then checked for validity and amount by the elders. A one time payment. If there are arrengements to get it back, they aren't a part of the ritual. Half of the sinsod is given upon engagement. Its given upon u mun. Not really something commoners do nowadays. Its more common with the dara/ Hiso/ elites. Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App Oh ok, so a downpayment. Is there a return policy too, in case the goods aren't what is promised ? If no return policy then contact "the Consumer Protection agency" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Haven't heard of a deposit. It's carried to the house on a platter during the wedding and then checked for validity and amount by the elders. A one time payment. If there are arrengements to get it back, they aren't a part of the ritual. Half of the sinsod is given upon engagement. Its given upon u mun. Not really something commoners do nowadays. Its more common with the dara/ Hiso/ elites. Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App Oh ok, so a down payment, Is there a return policy too, in case the goods aren't what is promised ? Depends if you paid via PayPal or Visa. .................................. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrTuner Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Haven't heard of a deposit. It's carried to the house on a platter during the wedding and then checked for validity and amount by the elders. A one time payment. If there are arrengements to get it back, they aren't a part of the ritual. Half of the sinsod is given upon engagement. Its given upon u mun. Not really something commoners do nowadays. Its more common with the dara/ Hiso/ elites. Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App Oh ok, so a downpayment. Is there a return policy too, in case the goods aren't what is promised ? If no return policy then contact "the Consumer Protection agency" They'll send somebody to check ? Interesting job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rics21 Posted September 1, 2012 Share Posted September 1, 2012 Haven't heard of a deposit. It's carried to the house on a platter during the wedding and then checked for validity and amount by the elders. A one time payment. If there are arrengements to get it back, they aren't a part of the ritual. Half of the sinsod is given upon engagement. Its given upon u mun. Not really something commoners do nowadays. Its more common with the dara/ Hiso/ elites. Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App Oh ok, so a downpayment. Is there a return policy too, in case the goods aren't what is promised ? From what I know, if the guy backs down. No return. If the girls back down, the in laws should return. Using the term "goods" on the Thai wives, a little harsh ain't it. Sent from my XT910 using Thaivisa Connect App Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bangkokburning Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 (edited) Do not put any 'money down' thst is insand and makes me question your fiance and anyone who gave you that fd up idea. This is 100000 times more important if you met her online or in a bar. Esp if you have known her less thsn a year - crazy! Edited September 5, 2012 by bangkokburning Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bangkokburning Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Posted from tablet. Sorry for all the typos I am thinking sbout writing a diy book on the whole experience. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bangkokburning Posted September 5, 2012 Share Posted September 5, 2012 Sorry for all the posts really Just dawned on me she is divorced, her parents get nothing! Youd be a fool as a farang to have a wedding as well. Shes damaged goods. 6k to mom and a nice little party for the family, preferably in a restaurant where you can control what is ordered. Done! PS yes they have divorce papers sndyes you will.need to have them to remarry 101% Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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