To Be Gay In The Los

[Aviador]

Oh, the gay life in the LOS.

I am old enough to remember that, 50 or so years ago to be “gay” meant to happy, carefree, cheery, relaxed, cheerful , light hearted, blight. (Even thesaurus does not connect this word with being homosexual to this day)

Then yes, I have lived the “gay” and carefree life in the LOS for nearly 2 years now.

I have posted my being screwed out of “almost” all my money here before. The chances of ever seeing it again are slim to non existent. But at least I had my social security check arriving punctually on the 4th of every month. 75,000 Baht (I got a raise of 4,5% cost of living adjustment, courtesy US government Life is a beach (and then you marry one :>)

It was enough to live on comfortably. Until the 4th of February. NOTHING. The 5th, NOTHING, 6th 7th, same thing. A midnight call to my bank revealed, someone had stolen my identity and emptied my account.

WILL IT EVER STOP ??????

I noticed in all the recent disasters, Tsunami, Earthquake, floods, ships sinking et cetera the majority of victims were Muslim. Allahu akbar!!!!!. Well I think Allah is pissed off at his bethren, but I am not Muslim Why me ???? Hey, I now really believe I am “Gay”, because my butt hole must be 6 inches across from all the screwing I have received. If I have to get f..t, at least I want to get kissed once in a while.

I wrote the following whilst TOT denied me ADSL service over last weekend again. (The engineer made a mistake again at 5PM on Friday evening and went to the pub)

I have learned one thing. Cheating Farang seems to be a national past time, but to completely strip someone of almost 3 million Baht within less than 2 years' time must seem some kind of record. Hey, Ripley put ,me into your record book.

I have posted the story of my erstwhile Thai partner T before, so I won’t even get into it again, except some of the e-mails I received from him:

I love the first part when I threatened him with the police: "Before you will do any think, if you go to police both of us have to fight by lawyer. And it will bring to many problems between us . Also you have no connect no paper with me about money problems."

(Yes, he made sure there was no paper trail and I was stupid enough to trust him)

He continues: "I'm a man, if I do the wrong thing I need a chance to sorving to a correct. Please,give me a chance and stop to destroy me by tell to any body cause 1 person will tell to 2 person to ten person and all of the village so how do my family can stay.I love my son and my family like you lov yours it have more valueable than money which I used from you.

Please , forgive me. T."

Yes, it is probably true. There will be a trial, perhaps 3 or 4 years from now. The judge will probably make him pay 3000 Baht a month. By now the attorney will have enough money to buy himself a new Mercedes. And I will be long dead by then. ‘Nother story: Oh I have many. (Who was the guy who complained I was “embellishing”?

While vacationing in Thailand in November 2003 on a boat trip to the Similan islands, I met a Swiss fellow who had lived here for more than 9 years, knew all the ins and outs, worked as a diving instructor and was part owner of a diving company. We corresponded via E-mail and when I made the decision to sell my home and move here I needed to find a way to deposit some funds. Since I did not have an account in Thailand he suggested wiring the money into his account until such time I would open my own. He was 52 years old and like me desired a retirement visa which would be good for 1 year and eliminate the annoying renewal trips to Burma every 30 days. The catch was, one would need to prove a minimum bank balance of 800,000 Baht, the monies also had to come from sources outside of Thailand. I wired 2 million Baht to him 2 days prior to my departure from Florida. Upon my arrival, I withdrew 1 million from his account and opened my own at a local bank. Since the procedure to obtain a 1 year visa seemed to require a great deal of paperwork, I told him to keep at it and whenever he had obtained the visa I would put the money into my account. We became very friendly, he was a whiz at computers and helped me out more than once when things went wrong with the blasted box of mine.

Then I had the accident. I needed money and asked him to now put the funds into my account. He did, to a point. After 400,000 Baht were deposited and I asked for more, he avoided me. During a visit to his home, my nosey young friend Mehn discovered his pass book which showed him using this money as though it was manna from heaven. 3 days later he went on a shopping spree.

The following was gleaned from B. Hager's personal Bank Account.

To be used only as proof of funds on hand from USA for retirement visa.

Balance as of March 20th, 2004 3.83 BHT

Deposit March 20th, 2004 1,968,980.oo BHT

Withdrawal March 20th, 2004 (Fred) 1,000,000.oo BHT

Balance: 968,983.83 BHT

Miscellaneous deposit June 20th, 2004 1,174.34 BHT

Total: 970,158.17 BHT

Unauthorized withdrawals:

24/03/04 10,023.oo

24/03/04 25,023.oo

24/03/04 3,460.oo

27/03/04 2,000.oo

29/03/04 10,020.oo

31/03/04 150,000.oo

28/08/04 769,359.oo

04/10/04 100.oo

Total unauthorized withdrawals: 969,985.oo

Total amount in account: 173.17 BHT

Moneys paid from account: 21/06 & 06/07 400,000.oo BHT

Moneys paid from unknown account 01/18/05 400,000.oo BHT

Total still due: 169,985.oo BHT

08/19/05 payment: 20.000.oo BHT

Balance: 149,985.oo BHT

08/27/05 payment: 8,000.oo BHT

Total due: 141,985.oo BHT

When I threatened him with the police, he told me some cockamamie story about having to buy fuel for the diving company which was about to go out of business, but he dug up another 400,000 Baht ostensibly from his mother in Switzerland. Which still left a balance of almost 142,000 Baht with the promise to repay me as much and as soon an possible, since the season had started and business was good.

Well, he was arrested a few weeks ago on a morals charge and is currently in prison in Bangkok.

Bye, bye 142,000 Baht.

I have 5000 Baht to my name at this moment, but expecting help from family (maybe) until I can change accounts. I can’t even sell my pickup which has less than 15,000 km, on it or the motorbike, because T has the books of both of them. He registered them without my knowledge in his name, for insurance purposes he said.

What did the guy say ? Bend over, I'll drive you home

I did send e-mail to the tourist police today though. Nothing will happen, because I did it before about the container guy who ripped me off in Bangkok.

Why me, dear Lord, why me ??? But its 31 degrees why bitch.?

Greeting the ol' Captain who is going to have another beer

[rio666uk]

great post - great read - but feel sory for you

you seem remarkably up-beat about it all though...

[redrus]

Keep smilin through just like you always do....., as the song goes.

Best of luck to ya fella, many lesser men would have crumbled by now.

redrus

[Ijustwannateach]

Somehow I don't see the "gay" connection in this thread.

[Aviador]

Somehow I don't see the "gay" connection in this thread.

And you wanna teach ?

Not english I hope

[chuchok]

Somehow I don't see the "gay" connection in this thread.

That's your funniest post yet!

[PeaceBlondie]

I agree with Stephen - there's no evidence of a same-sex, sexual encounter; just numerous allusions of the "prison rape" allegory, which is not homosexual or gay.

He got taken advantage of, and being a straight male and probably homophobic, he couches the terms as "I got f----ed in the ass by a guy."

Perhaps this is the same Swiss or Swedish diving instructor that was stupid enough to allow photos taken of him having sex with underage persons, while wearing the name of his dive shop, and publishing those photos on the web. So, is the OP saying he was even stupider?

The original poster paints himself as very easy to fool. I doubt he's that easy to literally screw.

[sadman]

I agree with Stephen - there's no evidence of a same-sex, sexual encounter; just numerous allusions of the "prison rape" allegory, which is not homosexual or gay.

You know full well that it is a figure of speech, used in every English-speaking country. If you don't like it fine - object. But don't try to be clever.

He got taken advantage of, and being a straight male and probably homophobic, he couches the terms as "I got f----ed in the ass by a guy."

I have seen no evidence that he is straight (yes, he has children, yes, he has/has had a female partner, but you of all people should be aware that this does not necessarily preclude homosexuality - and in any event, his preferences are none of your business and certainly not for you to make adverse comment on. As for his being homophobic - I see no evidence of that whatsoever. That is a nasty and groundless slur on the poster.

Perhaps this is the same Swiss or Swedish diving instructor that was stupid enough to allow photos taken of him having sex with underage persons, while wearing the name of his dive shop, and publishing those photos on the web. So, is the OP saying he was even stupider?

The original poster paints himself as very easy to fool. I doubt he's that easy to literally screw.

IMHO you have, in your post, gravely abused your position as a mod. The OP deserves an apology and you should be ashamed of yourself for adopting the same stereotyping as you would doubtless - and rightly - condemn in others.

[PeaceBlondie]

sadman, you're taking up another man's offense. If aviador is offended, he can defend himself. But this is public, so I'll respond.

The title of the thread, for everybody to read, is "To be Gay in the LOS..." The original post contains such rough terms as "Hey, I now really believe I am “Gay”, because my butt hole must be 6 inches across from all the screwing I have received. If I have to get f..t, at least I want to get kissed once in a while." Isn't that language objectionable?

Yes, sad man, it is a figure of speech. So are some things I could say that would be almost as objectionable.

My reference to the Swiss dive instructor was in accordance with what the original post alluded.

Straight men - and my gaydar does not indicate that the original poster is gay - usually don't understand what it's like to be gay, to be the recipient of countless jokes of incredible cruelty. Straight men molest little girls 9 times as often as gay men molest little boys, but straight men aren't labelled as molesters; all gay men are. It is not funny to call somebody's mother a who*e or a slu*, or to make jokes about raping your daughter, or about the rape of your wife; on that, decent men agree. Why, then, do otherwise decent men think it's hunky dory and proper use of the Queen's English to make metaphors about the rape of men?

I'll apologize when I'm shown I sinned.

[chuchok]

I agree with Stephen - there's no evidence of a same-sex, sexual encounter; just numerous allusions of the "prison rape" allegory, which is not homosexual or gay.

He got taken advantage of, and being a straight male and probably homophobic, he couches the terms as "I got f----ed in the ass by a guy."

Perhaps this is the same Swiss or Swedish diving instructor that was stupid enough to allow photos taken of him having sex with underage persons, while wearing the name of his dive shop, and publishing those photos on the web. So, is the OP saying he was even stupider?

The original poster paints himself as very easy to fool. I doubt he's that easy to literally screw.

What part of this

I am old enough to remember that, 50 or so years ago to be “gay” meant to happy, carefree, cheery, relaxed, cheerful , light hearted, blight. (Even thesaurus does not connect this word with being homosexual to this day)

Then yes, I have lived the “gay” and carefree life in the LOS for nearly 2 years now.

Don't you understand.Strewth!

[the scouser]

.... to be the recipient of countless jokes of incredible cruelty.

Just thank your lucky stars you're not a Scouser, then.

Scouse.

[bkkmadness]

.... to be the recipient of countless jokes of incredible cruelty.

Just thank your lucky stars you're not a Scouser, then.

Scouse.

Some people just deserve it.

[the scouser]

No jokes about Scousers, please - otherwise I'll have to take offence.

Scouse.

[redrus]

No jokes about Scousers, please - otherwise I'll have to take offence.

Scouse.

Bugger, too late.....

redrus

[Aviador]

Boy, did I ever open a can of worms

Does that expression now mean, I eat worms for lunch ? I know, I know, as it says in the musical My Fair Lady: "Why can't the english teach their childen how top speak ect.....(in America they haven't used it in years) Well if some of you aren't familiar with certain expressions, I am sorry, that's your problem. When someone cheats you, he is either "f..g" you or if you want to say it in mixed company "screwing" you.

[He got taken advantage of, and being a straight male and probably homophobic, he couches the terms as "I got f----ed in the ass by a guy."]

Who said somenting about ass f..ing? or homophobia ? I thought he majority of you here were reasonably intelligent. I opened the post by saying "How words have changed their meaning, through the years". It happens in every language. Terriffic used to mean: "horrible, awful, disturbing etc." now it means exactly the opposite. "Greetings from Thailand, I am having terrific time". Your grandma probably would have fainted getting a message like that. The same with the word "gay". Did any of you ever watch the Flintstones cartoons ? Where is says at the end of the song "And have a gay old time". Does that mean Fred and Barni are homosexual ? In my time, gays were refered to as queer, and even that word 100 years ago did not refer to anyone being homosexual. It meant strange, odd, peculiar.

Teacher mode off

No, I am not gay, queer or even homophobic. Just because I knew this Swiss (not Swedish, get your facts straigt before opening your mouth) diving instructor, does that mean I am now an accessory ? He was not Gay, queer or homosexual. He was a paedophile. I too have a bunch of kinds hanging out here playing video games and watching UBC. Just because I knew this fellow was enough reason to have the police show up here to interview the kids. I missed my own kids they grew up too fast.

25 years ago I flew a corporate airplane for Volkswagen of America for a while. (believe it or not, the owners were Jewish ) The chief pilot, a 5'2" moron with a Napoleonic complex said to me once: "Why are you always trying to be a nice guy ? One of those days this is going to get you in trouble." At the time I thought his was one of the most moronic statements. But, in retrospect... (the SOB has been dead for 10 years) he was right in a way.

Sorry it I offended anyone. I don't want to say, some of my best friends are gay, because I don't have any gay friends, but I knew a number of people who are, and so what ?

I have a number of kids here every day. Most of them have no father, that is the old man just walked away. You know how it is here. But the little brats keep me young and my mind off my problems. How else could I always sound so up-beat when everything goes to pot?

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y165/Avia...inaugust006.jpg

Some of them as is the case of this little Burma boy who lost his mother and sisters to the tsunami, even sleep here.

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y165/Avia...loorsleeper.jpg

They are my "adopted" grandchildren.

The mother of one of the boys who knows about my problems just sent over a chicken dinner Cute.

Soooo, be nice to one another, life is too short as it is.

Best to all of you, the ol' Capt.

[chuchok]

Keep the posts comming Capt. most of us enjoy them.I also hope that somepeople here can give you some good advise...if you need it.

Edited February 8, 2006 by chuchok

[bkkmadness]

No jokes about Scousers, please - otherwise I'll have to take offence.

Scouse.

As long as you leave the car stereo I don't mind.

[Jai Dee]

I agree with me old mate Chuchok... I wish I could give you some advice Capt.

But as I can't... I think I'll just go eat worms...

Some of you may understand that one and have a laugh without getting your t1ts in a twist...

[Aviador]

Thanks for the PM chuchok. Don't worry,

most Americans are thick skinned anyway.

AND LET ME SAY IT HERE AND NOW. I DON'T WANT ANY POLITICAL BULL SHIT REPLIES CONCERNING THE WAR IN IRAQ, MR. BUSH, MR. BLAIR OR ANY OTHER POLITICIAN.

I am way beyond that. I want to enjoy my retirement, the rest of the world can kill one another. People will never learn from experience. Nuff said.

Well, it’s after 10 PM. Should be going to bed, but I am waiting for a phone call from the US. That’s the problem with a 12 hour time difference.

Anyway, a young “British” couple, late 20’s or early 30’s (I don’t know if they are married and I don’t care), rented a house next to mine. Very “high nosed” as we would say. Don’t bid a good morning, hallo etc. SNOBS I think is a good word for it.

Last Sunday morning, around 10:30 AM, 5 boys were watching this absolutely stupid American WWE wrestling on UBC. Well something happened, I was on the PC when they cheered loudly to whatever occurred. http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y165/Avia...oolisout003.jpg

I am sure most of you are familiar with the vent cinder blocks they put into the walls in every room. Closing windows and doors does not make a house sound proof. Suddenly the bitch next door started to scream at the top of her lungs; Quiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet we want to sleep.

I went to the front balcony and confronted the woman. “What’s the problem ?” “Caahhhaannt you keep your children quiet ?” “Lady, they are not my children they all live around here. Complain to their mothers”. “Yes, but they are in YOUR HOUSE” “Well women” I said, ”it is not the middle of the night, it’s 10:30 AM. The sound of children is music to my ears compared to your screeching . If this bothers you stick some toilet paper in your bloody ears. I was married to a paranoid female like you for 30 years. Is it PMS time ?

While I was typing this on the word processor, (I have learned not to do anything on-line,) TOT ADSL went from slow to lame to brain dead and everything was disconnected.

But thank God, Buddha, Allah or whoever, DSL such as it is, is baaaaak.

I am going to bed. Ratree savat everybody.

The ol ’ Capt. (never say die)

PS one of your smilies is an insult to the Muslim religion. A woman, and almost nacked

[Jai Dee]

This is one of the best (and most tragic yet uplifting) threads I've ever read on ThaiVisa.

Good night Capt... sweet dreams... and may the sun shine brighter for you tomorrow.

[redrus]

=

Nice one Cap.

redrus

[PeaceBlondie]

Aviador, I apologize for over-reacting. Ya' see, being American, I don't understand British humour. But maybe you're an American or a Welshman or a Kiwi, and none of us has to understand the weird idiosyncrasies of each nation's weird humour.

Anyway, I don't know you. But I was viewing 'Recent Posts' and there you were, bigger than Dallas, sounding nastier than an injured Rotweiler. I would have sympathized with your plight, but you might as well have told me that, when I was swimming every day with 50 refugees from VietNam and China, I was molesting all of them, girls and boys. Now, if you're trying to say now that you were not posting about gay homosexual-related man-to-man behavior, you don't know the English language. Of course you were writing about that, and you knew it full well. I suspect, however, that you thought you had a license to make jokes about male rape because, well, we're just joking around, ya' know?

What irks me - seriously and deeply - is when somebody things that just because they insert a smilie here and there in an otherwise outrageous post about the sex crimes of my own family, it's all done in humour, like we're staging a Greek comedy or pretending to be Monty Python.

Swiss, Swedes - they're all over Hua Hin. In Spanish, the labels are more similar 'suize' and 'sueca' if I remember correctly. I was trying to remember, but it was too much trouble to go back and find it. Sorry for the wrong label. See, words do matter, eh?

Check my posts and you'll find I love to play with words and make puns. However, you won't find any jokes about rape victims. If I'd thought for one moment that the dive instructor had literally raped you, I'd have been much more sympathetic. My outrage didn't give me the time to say - and I say it now sincerely - hey, I'm sorry he took advantage of you like that.

Speaking of my family, Mama would have a fit, back in the 1950's, if she even heard the "F" word in the background. But times change, and as she lay in her deathbed in 2002, she said, "Don't use the cafeteria downstairs; the food is all f**ked up." And if the doctor had given her the wrong diagnosis, she might have said something similar. She would never have said he raped her in the rear end and made it six inches wide with his willie. There's a difference, there are boundaries, and your words sounded way overboard.

But maybe I'm wrong; I often have been. Please don't mistake me for one of those pathetic people who have to be 'Politically Correct' at all times. Have a good night and a great retirement; I'm trying to do the same.

P.S. I'm compelled to add, "American English" is English, too. I teach both, when I'm employed.

[Boo]

Good on you PB

[Aviador]

Aviador, I apologize for over-reacting. Ya' see, being American, I don't understand British humour. But maybe you're an American or a Welshman or a Kiwi, and none of us has to understand the weird idiosyncrasies of each nation's weird humour.

Anyway, I don't know you. But I was viewing 'Recent Posts' and there you were, bigger than Dallas, sounding nastier than an injured Rotweiler. I would have sympathized with your plight, but you might as well have told me that, when I was swimming every day with 50 refugees from VietNam and China, I was molesting all of them, girls and boys. Now, if you're trying to say now that you were not posting about gay homosexual-related man-to-man behavior, you don't know the English language. Of course you were writing about that, and you knew it full well. I suspect, however, that you thought you had a license to make jokes about male rape because, well, we're just joking around, ya' know?

What irks me - seriously and deeply - is when somebody things that just because they insert a smilie here and there in an otherwise outrageous post about the sex crimes of my own family, it's all done in humour, like we're staging a Greek comedy or pretending to be Monty Python.

Swiss, Swedes - they're all over Hua Hin. In Spanish, the labels are more similar 'suize' and 'sueca' if I remember correctly. I was trying to remember, but it was too much trouble to go back and find it. Sorry for the wrong label. See, words do matter, eh?

Check my posts and you'll find I love to play with words and make puns. However, you won't find any jokes about rape victims. If I'd thought for one moment that the dive instructor had literally raped you, I'd have been much more sympathetic. My outrage didn't give me the time to say - and I say it now sincerely - hey, I'm sorry he took advantage of you like that.

Speaking of my family, Mama would have a fit, back in the 1950's, if she even heard the "F" word in the background. But times change, and as she lay in her deathbed in 2002, she said, "Don't use the cafeteria downstairs; the food is all f**ked up." And if the doctor had given her the wrong diagnosis, she might have said something similar. She would never have said he raped her in the rear end and made it six inches wide with his willie. There's a difference, there are boundaries, and your words sounded way overboard.

But maybe I'm wrong; I often have been. Please don't mistake me for one of those pathetic people who have to be 'Politically Correct' at all times. Have a good night and a great retirement; I'm trying to do the same.

P.S. I'm compelled to add, "American English" is English, too. I teach both, when I'm employed.

LOL, LOL. You are an American ?? 5555555 and a LOL to boot.

You are either drunk or on some illegal substance. I will forgive the rantings of a weirdo under the influence.

I hope you are sober when you teach, whatever you are teaching. In spanish they would call your kind: La tierra de los pendejos, espalda mojados y de las pinche putas. Muy buenas noches amigo, mañana será un otro día.

Saludos de el Capitán viejo.

[Guest endure]

There's no delicate way to say this, Cap'n but do you think that Thailand is the right place for a man of your trusting nature?

[zzap]

Aviador, I apologize for over-reacting. Ya' see, being American, I don't understand British humour. But maybe you're an American or a Welshman or a Kiwi, and none of us has to understand the weird idiosyncrasies of each nation's weird humour.

Anyway, I don't know you. But I was viewing 'Recent Posts' and there you were, bigger than Dallas, sounding nastier than an injured Rotweiler. I would have sympathized with your plight, but you might as well have told me that, when I was swimming every day with 50 refugees from VietNam and China, I was molesting all of them, girls and boys. Now, if you're trying to say now that you were not posting about gay homosexual-related man-to-man behavior, you don't know the English language. Of course you were writing about that, and you knew it full well. I suspect, however, that you thought you had a license to make jokes about male rape because, well, we're just joking around, ya' know?

What irks me - seriously and deeply - is when somebody things that just because they insert a smilie here and there in an otherwise outrageous post about the sex crimes of my own family, it's all done in humour, like we're staging a Greek comedy or pretending to be Monty Python.

Swiss, Swedes - they're all over Hua Hin. In Spanish, the labels are more similar 'suize' and 'sueca' if I remember correctly. I was trying to remember, but it was too much trouble to go back and find it. Sorry for the wrong label. See, words do matter, eh?

Check my posts and you'll find I love to play with words and make puns. However, you won't find any jokes about rape victims. If I'd thought for one moment that the dive instructor had literally raped you, I'd have been much more sympathetic. My outrage didn't give me the time to say - and I say it now sincerely - hey, I'm sorry he took advantage of you like that.

Speaking of my family, Mama would have a fit, back in the 1950's, if she even heard the "F" word in the background. But times change, and as she lay in her deathbed in 2002, she said, "Don't use the cafeteria downstairs; the food is all f**ked up." And if the doctor had given her the wrong diagnosis, she might have said something similar. She would never have said he raped her in the rear end and made it six inches wide with his willie. There's a difference, there are boundaries, and your words sounded way overboard.

But maybe I'm wrong; I often have been. Please don't mistake me for one of those pathetic people who have to be 'Politically Correct' at all times. Have a good night and a great retirement; I'm trying to do the same.

P.S. I'm compelled to add, "American English" is English, too. I teach both, when I'm employed.

LOL, LOL. You are an American ?? 5555555 and a LOL to boot.

You are either drunk or on some illegal substance. I will forgive the rantings of a weirdo under the influence.

I hope you are sober when you teach, whatever you are teaching. In spanish they would call your kind: La tierra de los pendejos, espalda mojados y de las pinche putas. Muy buenas noches amigo, mañana será un otro día.

Saludos de el Capitán viejo.

Good on PB for apologising, though his 'overreacting' was understandable, he even explained exactly what was offensive about the initial post.

However, what did he get in return? An acknowledgement that the language or the 'jokes' might have been a bit too strong or any regard for other readers' sensitivities?

-NO: "You are either drunk or on some illegal substance. I will forgive the rantings of a weirdo under the influence. "

Shame on you, Aviador!

[Ijustwannateach]

I might have even felt sympathy for him for his financial troubles, but not with an attitude like this.

If OP wants to go silly buggers re. what he imagines are gay references connected to his troubles, I guess that's his own fetish- if it were simply that I never would even have read the thread. I just wanted to point out that the thread title is deliberately misleading along those lines, and if he gets negative attention as a result he obviously deserves it. If he wants to slag off other posters who're expressing their opinions maturely (and humurously, as PB almost always does), he deserves even more trouble.

Oh, and no, I don't teach English, but I could start- Aviador, what're you offering per hour?

"Steven"

[chuchok]

If some of you guys can't see what the op's post was ment to be, then I feel very sorry for you.If you want to turn it into something else, then go for it...we need some more comedy here!

[Jai Dee]

No jokes about Scousers, please - otherwise I'll have to take offence.

Scouse.

40 scousers arrived at the Pearly Gates, St Peter greets them saying, "We've only room for 5 so decide amongst yourselves who's coming in."

Ten minutes later St Peter says to God, "They've gone".

God says "What all 40?"

St Peter says "No, the f*cking gates !!"

[bkkmadness]

Q. What should you do if you see a scouse jogging?

A. Trip him up and give the lady's purse back to her.

Q. How do you make a scouser run faster?

A. Stick a video player under his arm

Q. What's the difference between Batman and a Scouser?

A. Batman can go anywhere without Robin.