An 85-year-old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of

his physical exam. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar

home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The next day the 85-year-old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave

him the jar, which was as clean and empty as on the previous day.

The doctor asked what happened and the man explained: "Well, doc, it's like

this - first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my

left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with

her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth,

first with the teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even

called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too, first with both

hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezin' it between her knees,

but still nothing.

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep. None of us could get the jar open".

An oldie, but a cracker!!!

But try as we did, we just couldn't get the lid off the jar...