Random Christmas Tips

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Thought I'd share some Christmas tips:

1. Oriental Bakery Shop (At the Oriental Dhara Dhevi hotel) still has some Christmas Stollen available.. They were REALLY good last year, so get them while they still have them. 450 baht each.

(image not the actual product; can post a picture tomorrow. )

2. Christmas service schedule at the Seven Fountains Church (website was down but is back up) : http://www.thesevenf...istmas-new-year Bring some food or snacks for the after-party in the garden. Most civilized gathering of Farangs ever.

[eyecatcher]

After a resounding furore from other TV members to respond to your topic Winnie….not… ..I decided to respond to what I thought your topic was going to be about..., but you started well….”food”

Don’t you just hate this time of year because it’s the season when the food police come out . . .

. . . with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds. You can’t pick up a magazine without finding a list of holiday eating do’s and don’ts. Eliminate second helpings, high-calorie sauces and biscuits made with butter, they say.

Fill up on vegetable sticks, they say. OMG.

Is your favourite childhood memory of Christmas a carrot stick? No! of course not. It isn’t mine, either. A carrot was something you left for Rudolph. I have my own list of tips for holiday eating. I assure you, if you follow them, you’ll be fat and happy. So what if you don’t make it to New Year’s? Your pants won’t fit anymore, anyway.

About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a Christmas buffet table knows nothing about Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots tomorrow, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re probably serving fish balls…I mean rum balls.

Drink as much eggnog as you can, is that still around? And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it’s rare. In fact, it’s even rarer than a single-malt crotch. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an egg-nogaholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas already!

If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skimmmed milk or whole milk. If it’s skimmed, pass. If its soy milk…go home. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

Don’t have a snack before going for your dinner in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas dinner is to eat the leftovers of your company, those who say they are full as soon as they look at it.

Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that glass of eggnog.

If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cream horns in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge.,,be prepared to use elbows to defend your position. Take as many as you can before actually becoming the "greedy fat f*****r over there". They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can’t leave them behind. You’re not going to see them again.

Same for pies. apple.mango, pumpkin. mince pies. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don’t like mince, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?

Did someone mention fruitcake? in the culinary sense of course.. ......Raisins, currants, cherries…. Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards, mate.

And one final tip: If you don’t feel bloated, drunk and feeling terrible when you leave the venue or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re -read tips again, but hurry! Dieting January is just around the corner.

all the very best everyone

[Semper]

After a resounding furore from other TV members to respond to your topic Winnie….not… ..I decided to respond to what I thought your topic was going to be about..., but you started well….”food”

Don’t you just hate this time of year because it’s the season when the food police come out . . .

. . . with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds. You can’t pick up a magazine without finding a list of holiday eating do’s and don’ts. Eliminate second helpings, high-calorie sauces and biscuits made with butter, they say.

Fill up on vegetable sticks, they say. OMG.

Is your favourite childhood memory of Christmas a carrot stick? No! of course not. It isn’t mine, either. A carrot was something you left for Rudolph. I have my own list of tips for holiday eating. I assure you, if you follow them, you’ll be fat and happy. So what if you don’t make it to New Year’s? Your pants won’t fit anymore, anyway.

About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a Christmas buffet table knows nothing about Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots tomorrow, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re probably serving fish balls…I mean rum balls.

Drink as much eggnog as you can, is that still around? And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it’s rare. In fact, it’s even rarer than a single-malt crotch. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an egg-nogaholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas already!

If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skimmmed milk or whole milk. If it’s skimmed, pass. If its soy milk…go home. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

Don’t have a snack before going for your dinner in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas dinner is to eat the leftovers of your company, those who say they are full as soon as they look at it.

Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that glass of eggnog.

If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cream horns in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge.,,be prepared to use elbows to defend your position. Take as many as you can before actually becoming the "greedy fat f*****r over there". They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can’t leave them behind. You’re not going to see them again.

Same for pies. apple.mango, pumpkin. mince pies. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don’t like mince, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?

Did someone mention fruitcake? in the culinary sense of course.. ......Raisins, currants, cherries…. Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards, mate.

And one final tip: If you don’t feel bloated, drunk and feeling terrible when you leave the venue or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re -read tips again, but hurry! Dieting January is just around the corner.

all the very best everyone

Obviously, I didn't read all of your very long reply. But I wonder if Jesus did enjoyed any of your food suggestions?

[Ulysses G.]

About those carrot sticks. Avoid them.

Actually, carrot sticks or celery with sour cream, onion dip are not too bad, but Doritos are better.

[elektrified]

Great post eyecatcher. And don't skimp on the alcohol either. I'm already more than 1/2 way into a bottle of rum and it's only 20:00. Merry Christmas everybody.

[hellodolly]

After a resounding furore from other TV members to respond to your topic Winnie….not… ..I decided to respond to what I thought your topic was going to be about..., but you started well….”food”

Don’t you just hate this time of year because it’s the season when the food police come out . . .

. . . with their wagging fingers and annual tips on how to get through the holidays without gaining 10 pounds. You can’t pick up a magazine without finding a list of holiday eating do’s and don’ts. Eliminate second helpings, high-calorie sauces and biscuits made with butter, they say.

Fill up on vegetable sticks, they say. OMG.

Is your favourite childhood memory of Christmas a carrot stick? No! of course not. It isn’t mine, either. A carrot was something you left for Rudolph. I have my own list of tips for holiday eating. I assure you, if you follow them, you’ll be fat and happy. So what if you don’t make it to New Year’s? Your pants won’t fit anymore, anyway.

About those carrot sticks. Avoid them. Anyone who puts carrots on a Christmas buffet table knows nothing about Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots tomorrow, leave immediately. Go next door, where they’re probably serving fish balls…I mean rum balls.

Drink as much eggnog as you can, is that still around? And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it’s rare. In fact, it’s even rarer than a single-malt crotch. You can’t find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It’s not as if you’re going to turn into an egg-nogaholic or something. It’s a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It’s later than you think. It’s Christmas already!

If something comes with gravy, use it. That’s the whole point of gravy. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they’re made with skimmmed milk or whole milk. If it’s skimmed, pass. If its soy milk…go home. Why bother? It’s like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

Don’t have a snack before going for your dinner in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas dinner is to eat the leftovers of your company, those who say they are full as soon as they look at it.

Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you’ll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that glass of eggnog.

If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cream horns in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don’t budge.,,be prepared to use elbows to defend your position. Take as many as you can before actually becoming the "greedy fat f*****r over there". They’re like a beautiful pair of shoes. You can’t leave them behind. You’re not going to see them again.

Same for pies. apple.mango, pumpkin. mince pies. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don’t like mince, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert?

Did someone mention fruitcake? in the culinary sense of course.. ......Raisins, currants, cherries…. Granted, it’s loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards, mate.

And one final tip: If you don’t feel bloated, drunk and feeling terrible when you leave the venue or get up from the table, you haven’t been paying attention. Re -read tips again, but hurry! Dieting January is just around the corner.

all the very best everyone

You made one little ittty bitty mistake you omitted carrots up side is they have a high sugar content. Down side is they might be good for the eyes.

[funcat]

"2. Christmas service at the Seven Fountains Church..."

I always enjoy that...

[amexpat]

After a resounding furore from other TV members to respond to your topic Winnie…..............

Obviously, I didn't read all of your very long reply...............

And yet you reposted the whole dam_n thing. How about a new year's resolution to quit doing that. Everyone?

.

[anonymouse]

Christmas tip - maybe a bit late

Out of Christmas wrapping paper? Simply convert birthday wrapping paper by adding "Jesus" after "Happy Birthday."

[anonymouse]

This one might be a bit more up to date

Don't invite drug addicts to your house on Boxing Day They may find the offer of cold turkey embarrassing or offensive

[WinnieTheKhwai]

Christmas tip - maybe a bit late

Out of Christmas wrapping paper? Simply convert birthday wrapping paper by adding "Jesus" after "Happy Birthday."

Don't laugh, but they actually sing 'Happy Birthday' for Jesus at my kid's kindergarten.