Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Posted

Dear friends and colleagues,

My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time

and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past 12 months. Thank you for

making me feel safe, secure, blessed, healthy and brought many a smile to

my face.

Extra thanks to whoever sent me the email about rat cr@p in the glue on

envelopes - 'cause I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to

seal an envelope.

Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because of

your genuine concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it I know it can

remove toilet stains, which is not exactly an appealing characteristic.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked

with a needle infected with AIDS.

Or sit in cinema seats for the same reason.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water

buffalo on a hot day.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a

perfume sample and rob me.

Or if I did survive the shops I would be grabbed and murdered by a nasty

man in the car park.

I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant

freaks with no eyes or feathers.

However, I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have

363,214 angels looking out for me.

Thanks to you I have learnt that God only answers my prayers if I forward

an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl on the

internet who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).

In fact, I no longer have any money at all but that will change once I

receive the £15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for

participating in their special on-line email program.

Yes, I want to thank you all so much for looking out for me that I will

now return the favour ! If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000

people in the next 7 minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of

diarrhe@ will land on your head at 5:00 PM this afternoon. I know this will

occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's,

ex-mother-in-law's, second husband's, cousin's beautician.

......Oh, and Have a nice day !

redrus

Posted

:D

Copied, pasted and sent! :D

To at least 7 people... :D

BTW, may I copy you for any future forwards ? :o

Cheers

KY

Probably.... :D

redrus

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.


  • Topics

  • Latest posts...

    1. 0

      World War III Has Already Begun": Ukraine's Former Military Chief Warns of Global Conflict

    2. 0

      White House Retreats from Public Eye After Trump Victory

    3. 0

      Montreal Erupts in Violent Anti-Israel Protests

    4. 0

      Calls for a New Election Surge Amidst Labour's Challenges

    5. 0

      Boris Johnson Accuses Starmer of Aligning with Hamas Over ICC Netanyahu Arrest Warrant

    6. 0

      National Insurance Hike Threatens Care Home Stability Amid Budget Increases

    7. 0

      The Strategic Threat of the Houthis Because of Inaction in Yemen

  • Popular in The Pub


×
×
  • Create New...