American Expat Found Dead In Nong Khai Home

[kerrysum]

Excuse me,

But it is kind of hard to say what happened.... I will say this, Thailand has changed over the years.... It is not the same, and perhaps it is not what we think of it.... Many parts of it Northward are getting dangerous, I.E. Nong-Khai? In the South? I think it is terrible..... I have kived in this region before, it was beautiful, the people kind, in fact the only place I never lived was the South.....

Do you just might think that this is due to thegrowing influx of tourists, and retirees.... I must be honest, I am thinking much about this, but this is not the Thailand of 30 years ago..... Hearts can be broken, dreams unfulfilled, and yes a little dishonesty may be in play here.....

Just my opinion, and yes never trust a hand shake in Thailand, for I feel it is very rare.... Back years ago it was honor.......

Just a thought, because I an going through it now......

Kilosierra

[gohmer]

Dead over NYE how desperately sad?

Problem is we all move here for a better life but in doing so for the most part lose feeling part of a community.

R.I.P Ronnie.

Para,

There are still plenty of places in Thailand where one definitely feels a sense of community. Saying that, I've noticed for all the years I've been here, that the sense of community is falling by the wayside.

If one looks at other countries, the same trend has been around for some time. Cities being the worst for lack of community / neighborly...

RIP Ronnie...

I can't speak of any of the countries in Europe; however, after spending 6 years in Thailand and with a GF and kids most of the time, I couldn't wait to leave. I completely get what Para is saying. I was in Para's position of not being able to come back due to not having a job and not affording to leave the one I had in Thailand. It was 2 years of prospecting and waiting out the crappy economy until I got an awesome company to hire me over Skype. The job is in a beach community just north of San Diego, California. I was very concerned about the cost of living, the SoCal culture, and the possibility that America had changed so much I'd be very disappointed and regretting the move back when I got here (I hadn't visited in that 6 yrs).

Well, unbelievable, the people, weather, streets (I bike to work), beaches, cleanliness, business attitudes, far cheaper rents and food than I ever expected, sense of community, endless activities, parks, nightlife, big name entertainment, dozens and dozens of microbrews, beach runs, endless mountain biking trails out my front door, 2 hours to snowboarding, 30+ year old California women that make 30+ year old Thai women (assuming you get married and don't spend your entire remaining life chasing lowlife bar girls) look like soi dog meat, and on and on and on.

Everyday when I ride my bike to work (and I'm 59) I am so thankful that I don't have to be on edge ready to die dodging the crazy F'n drivers in Thailand. I went to a popular outdoor sports store and bought mtn running shoes. I wore them for 3 months about 40 times, but I bought them half-size too small. I went to buy a second pair and the guy said to bring the first ones back, no questions guarantee of satisfaction. He said if I had wore them for a year or even longer, it would be the same. Now try and find that kind of business in Thailand. When I went through immigration flying into LAX, the immigration police chatted with me and sincerely welcomed me back when I mentioned I had been gone a long time. Get that at immigration in Thailand. When my Issan fiance (we are applying for a Fiance visa right now to get her and the kids to eventually be US citizens) goes to Robinson's makeup counter, she can't even get waited on (I make six-figures and she shows it). In the US, she will be equal to everyone else and my kids won't have to grow up with the kind of F'd up prejudice found in Thailand.

If I was rich, I'd pay for Para to live her just so he could get out as I did. I can't image the kind of crap hole all of the rest of you came from to think Thailand is an up tick. Now, if you come from a really messed up country (fortunately, despite its problems, the US ain't one), then I feel sorry for you too. But if your home country is not messed up, I can't imagine you staying in Thailand for any reason than cheap kittie(synonym), and if that's it, then you are the kind of person who probably doesn't care about community or quality of life anyhow.

I enjoyed your post, even the running shoe bit and the gripes about Thailand's faults.

However, your last paragraph ruined the story. You may very well be happy with your six figure income and your Isaan GF and her kids ready to share the SoCal dream, but your put down of others who do not share your enthusiasm for the west is disappointing.

I happen to be from the large land mass squatting to the north of your country and even though it's not quite as 'messed up' as the USA, I, like thousands of other expats choose to live our lives, peacefully here in Thailand. I can do without the snow, cold and constant drizzle that makes the 'wet coast' experience. Summers there can be beautiful.

Thailand has many expats who for one reason or another cannot fit in with the Thais and live their lives among their fellow farangs, speaking English with their female partners if they have one. Good for them, if they are happy.

On the other hand I know of many American, Canadian and British as well as Australians and other Europeans etc who speak some Thai and are absorbed in Thai communities, with their families, with access to just about all the services one might want without being part of a nanny society and believe it or not, they are quite happy.

I, like many who came here, am well past the "kitty" seeking age and realize this country has major problems but where on earth doesn't? Certainly not in the Excited States of America, with their fiscal problems etc. The United Sharia Kingdom of GB is definitely not a place I'd head back to.

Anyway as far as the original story is concerned, even in Nong Khai, there is a sizeable expat community and it is indeed sad that one of them should have had an accident and nobody was concerned enough to try and contact him..

I hope Nong Khai Ronnie rests in peace in a far better place and I hope you enjoy your new life in the California sun.

Well, you might be right about the last paragraph, maybe a bit judgmental, wasn't meant to be. And, you trump my hand with the fact that Canada is not a crap hole (IMHO). I love BC and Alberta; however, who can take that cold, I now have weather that is mostly warm all year round, most every day is sunny, and best of all, virtually no rain, humidity, or mosquitoes. Also, I will add, that I haven't met a Canadian who hasn't lived a long time in the US that understands it. All the Kanuks are critical of the US as are most Europeans, yet most that are critical only now the soundbites and cliches, not the real America (but that's for another post).

You're also right that it is truly sad to have been Ronnie and no one around. I don't want to imagine what his life must have been leading up to his end. Very depressing story. Makes me know that I will be doing everything possible to make sure that I take care of my family and love them to the end so I have someone there when I go.

[Para]

I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT want my kids to go to a Thai high school or university, not even an international one. There's just no comparison. I could write a book and the knowledge/skills gap between western and Thai software engineers. It is so pitiful it is sad for Thailand. I don't want my kids to end up in that same boat.

Agree totally. IMO the smart people living in Thailand (Thai and foreign) with kids send them overseas for their education so they can return far better educated than people with Thai equivalent qualifications. I for one would without doubt have my child educated back home......

[Gweiloman]

Excuse me,

But it is kind of hard to say what happened.... I will say this, Thailand has changed over the years.... It is not the same, and perhaps it is not what we think of it.... Many parts of it Northward are getting dangerous, I.E. Nong-Khai? In the South? I think it is terrible..... I have kived in this region before, it was beautiful, the people kind, in fact the only place I never lived was the South.....

Do you just might think that this is due to thegrowing influx of tourists, and retirees.... I must be honest, I am thinking much about this, but this is not the Thailand of 30 years ago..... Hearts can be broken, dreams unfulfilled, and yes a little dishonesty may be in play here.....

Just my opinion, and yes never trust a hand shake in Thailand, for I feel it is very rare.... Back years ago it was honor.......

Just a thought, because I an going through it now......

Kilosierra

Hard to response because I'm not too clear on what you are actually asking or thinking.

I don't think that Thailand is dangerous at all, on an individual level. In the South, there are political troubles but you would be quite unlucky to get involved or threatened by it. In big cities like Bangkok, Pattaya, Phuket, there is always a certain amount of danger due to the culture of those places. If you are not intending to get into any business ventures, then there is no risk on that front either (having said that, scammers and conmen are found all over the world).

When living in Thailand, respect the local culture and leave your western standards and morals behind. You will then find that living and getting along with others a walk in the park.

[nikkoid66]

Dear Gohmer,

Glad you are more happy in wonderland than in the land of smile. I have experienced in many countries (including America, - SF, LA and Fort Lauderdale) and you are right, it is clean and you can find many drinking buddies.

But when the poison in Publix food will have made a tumor and you will get a cancer like everyone else there, you will see that this place is like Amityville.

There is a reason why the American dream is called like this: it is a dream.

If you get sick, have an accident or any kind of problem, you will wake up to what the reality is: they want your money, they want it all and you are a walking machine, if you get sick or are not working good enough, you go to the trash.

If this man was alone in his house it was probably a choice. Nong Kai is a retired country place...I live in Pattaya and do not have too many friends, I like quiet, it is my style. My girlfriend is 20 years younger than me. Sorry, do not compare young Thai hotties with 30+ American girls... lol, I tested both, and will never come back!

If I have a heart attack, I will probably stay a while before anyone notice. But I don't care. It is my choice to not be a slave to the system, not wake up everyday the same to pay the bills, the loans, the interest of the interest of all the fancy things I buy at Best Buy because there is nothing else to do on Sunday... and work 10 hours with almost no vacation time, no real heath care, just being a working machine who can buy many things with credit cards until I get sick and die.

Enjoy.

Dead over NYE how desperately sad?

Problem is we all move here for a better life but in doing so for the most part lose feeling part of a community.

R.I.P Ronnie.

Para,

There are still plenty of places in Thailand where one definitely feels a sense of community. Saying that, I've noticed for all the years I've been here, that the sense of community is falling by the wayside.

If one looks at other countries, the same trend has been around for some time. Cities being the worst for lack of community / neighborly...

RIP Ronnie...

I can't speak of any of the countries in Europe; however, after spending 6 years in Thailand and with a GF and kids most of the time, I couldn't wait to leave. I completely get what Para is saying. I was in Para's position of not being able to come back due to not having a job and not affording to leave the one I had in Thailand. It was 2 years of prospecting and waiting out the crappy economy until I got an awesome company to hire me over Skype. The job is in a beach community just north of San Diego, California. I was very concerned about the cost of living, the SoCal culture, and the possibility that America had changed so much I'd be very disappointed and regretting the move back when I got here (I hadn't visited in that 6 yrs).

Well, unbelievable, the people, weather, streets (I bike to work), beaches, cleanliness, business attitudes, far cheaper rents and food than I ever expected, sense of community, endless activities, parks, nightlife, big name entertainment, dozens and dozens of microbrews, beach runs, endless mountain biking trails out my front door, 2 hours to snowboarding, 30+ year old California women that make 30+ year old Thai women (assuming you get married and don't spend your entire remaining life chasing lowlife bar girls) look like soi dog meat, and on and on and on.

Everyday when I ride my bike to work (and I'm 59) I am so thankful that I don't have to be on edge ready to die dodging the crazy F'n drivers in Thailand. I went to a popular outdoor sports store and bought mtn running shoes. I wore them for 3 months about 40 times, but I bought them half-size too small. I went to buy a second pair and the guy said to bring the first ones back, no questions guarantee of satisfaction. He said if I had wore them for a year or even longer, it would be the same. Now try and find that kind of business in Thailand. When I went through immigration flying into LAX, the immigration police chatted with me and sincerely welcomed me back when I mentioned I had been gone a long time. Get that at immigration in Thailand. When my Issan fiance (we are applying for a Fiance visa right now to get her and the kids to eventually be US citizens) goes to Robinson's makeup counter, she can't even get waited on (I make six-figures and she shows it). In the US, she will be equal to everyone else and my kids won't have to grow up with the kind of F'd up prejudice found in Thailand.

If I was rich, I'd pay for Para to live her just so he could get out as I did. I can't image the kind of crap hole all of the rest of you came from to think Thailand is an up tick. Now, if you come from a really messed up country (fortunately, despite its problems, the US ain't one), then I feel sorry for you too. But if your home country is not messed up, I can't imagine you staying in Thailand for any reason than cheap kittie(synonym), and if that's it, then you are the kind of person who probably doesn't care about community or quality of life anyhow.

Edited January 8, 2013 by nikkoid66

[Toscano]

I have always lived in the country and am not really a community person , so I have no problem in Thailand . I get on very well with my wife's family , father , mother , three brothers , four sisters and am loved as a father by my wife's chilren . I have one or two Falang friends whom i see occasionally for a long chat .

Thailand isn't exactly heaven on earth , but its OK , a backwater away from the troubles of the world . I loved Italy where I was before and became one of the community in a small hill village .

Here in Thailand I have a beautiful wife 24yrs younger than me , but now a grandmother . The climate is warm all the year and over all the cost of living is affordable .

I am sorry for poor Ronnie to die alone .

[rollrunna]

RIP. Ronnie... wasted sentiment as it is said for others to hear.... Ronnie ( i hope it was quick and painless ) is not able to care..... whilst the majority do not welcome death( unless it is the better option), most people of my retirement age ( 66 ) see it as a natural close of living and it does not hold any real terror, other than it could include pain ... and of course it can happen at any time, it could even be that tranquil secluded mountain path, a moonlight swim in a warm ocean, and who is to know if or when the body is found, i would not be able to care.

So lets not be morbid, let us assume he enjoyed his life as he chose to and in a destination that made him happy....

[pramaprow]

R.I.P. Ronnie...

Viva Thailand...been here thirty five and have not had a single (serious) untoward incident in that entire time...where else can one say that about?...been a monk for the past six and can truthfully say that there is no way, no way, I could be treated better...like royalty, no exaggeration...even an old Gringo like me...beggars belief, but there you go...viva Thailand...

[exalll]

I ABSOLUTELY DO NOT want my kids to go to a Thai high school or university, not even an international one. There's just no comparison. I could write a book and the knowledge/skills gap between western and Thai software engineers. It is so pitiful it is sad for Thailand. I don't want my kids to end up in that same boat.

Agree totally. IMO the smart people living in Thailand (Thai and foreign) with kids send them overseas for their education so they can return far better educated than people with Thai equivalent qualifications. I for one would without doubt have my child educated back home......

Totally disagree. My kids went to an international school in Thailand and not only ended up with outstanding international qualifications that got them into the universities they had set their hearts on (both in the UK), but also gave them a wealth of experiences they could not have got overseas (or, at least, would have struggled to get overseas) ... kayaking around tropical islands, trekking to Everest base-camp, etc. For two years they did actually go to one of the best private schools in Canada, and in their opinion, the education and extra-curricular activities here were far superior.

[kevvy]

You're telling me Para, I once thought I was part of a community, but after some years here that illusion has gone. I now know I'm part of nothing, and I curse the day I ever set foot in this place. If I only knew then what I know now. And the rest of you, don't tell me to go home. I can't anymore, and on top of that, it seems that I've soiled myself. Now if you will all excuse me!

My condolences to Ronnie's friends and family, let's all hope that someone, somewhere has been truly affected by his untimely passing.

wow i thought i wqas the only one .... lets start a topic on who wants to really go home .

R.I.P. Ronnie you have gone to a better place now ...we are thinking of you .

[moe666]

Geez what a bunch of whiners here, when your dead your dead you could care less when your body is found. It could be 10 min. after death or 100 years wwho cares I sure want. How about friends visiting before death now thats the important time. Best wishes to the family and friends, remember our time here is only temporary.

[PhilipCook]

Gohmer is on to something. My last trip to the US I stopped in to visit friends in Long Beach, a city I never visited before. Having lived in Monterey briefly I do enjoy California in general but this time I could completely see myself living on the left coast and packing up here. Plenty of great places to live in the US that aren't crowded, not as spendy as some things are becoming here. And to Gohmer's point, the quality of life is extremely good in Southern California, plenty of Asian food if you worry about missing somtam and sticky rice. Plenty of outdoor pleasure reasonable weather. California, its the state that has absolutely everything to offer.

[tominbkk]

You're telling me Para, I once thought I was part of a community, but after some years here that illusion has gone. I now know I'm part of nothing, and I curse the day I ever set foot in this place. If I only knew then what I know now. And the rest of you, don't tell me to go home. I can't anymore, and on top of that, it seems that I've soiled myself. Now if you will all excuse me!

My condolences to Ronnie's friends and family, let's all hope that someone, somewhere has been truly affected by his untimely passing.

That's sad. Glad I have my friends and family around me here. That I can take care of and who can take care of me.

[SOTIRIOS]

3rd try to post

....as with so many marriages to Thai women....as long as you're 'dishing out' , you are useful and welcome...

...after that, it is time for you to leave, disappear or die....and oftentimes helped along the way....

....left alone for years...holidays...birthdays.....

...but sure to run right back now and collect the spoils.....

[tominbkk]

If one looks at other countries, the same trend has been around for some time. Cities being the worst for lack of community / neighborly...

I feel for the 'older' guys who come over and move up country guess that must be pretty hard at times.

Its been over 10 years since I have been in the UK and I dare say things are, as you say the same there.....

True that. I enjoy stints to see the family upcountry, but much prefer living in the burbs of BKK.

[Mosha]

Very sad to hear. The notes on being part of the community are interesting; it's not uncommon in the West either for people to lay undiscovered for weeks and even months.

A work mate who lived alone died while on his days off. He worked shifts. He was only missed when he failed to turn up for work. He'd been dead a week. Sad that that can happen anywhere.

[kevvy]

You're telling me Para, I once thought I was part of a community, but after some years here that illusion has gone. I now know I'm part of nothing, and I curse the day I ever set foot in this place. If I only knew then what I know now. And the rest of you, don't tell me to go home. I can't anymore, and on top of that, it seems that I've soiled myself. Now if you will all excuse me!

My condolences to Ronnie's friends and family, let's all hope that someone, somewhere has been truly affected by his untimely passing.

right on, how many people want to go home but cant ,

RIP Ronnie you are in a better place now ...

[khunken]

I have no regrets about coming to Thailand to live. I did not leave a shit-hole but left my country (Ireland) to find a better job and also for a sense of adventure. I worked in some countries that I had no intention of living in permanently. I visited many countries in N America, Europe & Asia & chose Thailand.

With Ronnie, unless he didn't die immediately, not being found for 10 days is not that important (to him). I hope he died peacefully & had a good innings.

[rollrunna]

and why people choose Ronnies demise to bite the land that feeds them is beyond me, ok if one can not return to a homeland that was presumable escaped from, is a sadness; but to allow cynicism to poisen a dream is silly, i hear a man who has earned money teaching a backward nation complain about their illiteracy... ( errrr .. ??? ) and in 6 years he did not realise that the climate was hot and humid and the roads dangerous and education inadequate despite having a Thai wife and family..... well i have been here for 6 years too, and i too have felt a change, such that i am considering relocating before cynicism becomes an unwanted bed-fellow. perfection can only be an opinion, it is how we interact with life in whichever country we choose to live in that is important.... and a pauper will always want the money in your pocket....

[angsta]

I think some people on here are making massive assumptions based on a Thai newspaper article?? Calm down.

[crazydrummerpauly]

In order to be part of the community, you must first want to be part of it. That means assimilating, participating, contributing, socialising. If you build fences around yourself and your house, have strict rules as to whom can visit and when, don't expect the community to accept and welcome you.

This is not in direct response to the deceased - just a general comment about being a foreigner in a foreign land.

This is good common sense advice which i'd go along with...up to a point. Unfortunately, too many ex-pats in LOS have reached out and tried to assimilate and contribute only to get badly burned in the process one way or another. So over time the stories circulate and we pull in our horns...Sad. RIP Ronnie.

[SOTIRIOS]

...4th attempt to post....

....as with so many marriages to Thai women...once you stop being an ATM...for whatever reason....you no longer exist...and should leave, disappear or die..

.....and oftentimes are helped along the way...

...birthdays...New Years...irrelevant....who knows why she 'checked up...or check in....or went over for another handout....maybe he was late in 'dishing out'...

....am sure the will 'mop everything up' now.....and if he paid for the house....possibly come back now...

[bigbamboo]

Dear Gohmer,

Glad you are more happy in wonderland than in the land of smile. I have experienced in many countries (including America, - SF, LA and Fort Lauderdale) and you are right, it is clean and you can find many drinking buddies.

But when the poison in Publix food will have made a tumor and you will get a cancer like everyone else there, you will see that this place is like Amityville.

There is a reason why the American dream is called like this: it is a dream.

If you get sick, have an accident or any kind of problem, you will wake up to what the reality is: they want your money, they want it all and you are a walking machine, if you get sick or are not working good enough, you go to the trash.

If this man was alone in his house it was probably a choice. Nong Kai is a retired country place...I live in Pattaya and do not have too many friends, I like quiet, it is my style. My girlfriend is 20 years younger than me. Sorry, do not compare young Thai hotties with 30+ American girls... lol, I tested both, and will never come back!

If I have a heart attack, I will probably stay a while before anyone notice. But I don't care. It is my choice to not be a slave to the system, not wake up everyday the same to pay the bills, the loans, the interest of the interest of all the fancy things I buy at Best Buy because there is nothing else to do on Sunday... and work 10 hours with almost no vacation time, no real heath care, just being a working machine who can buy many things with credit cards until I get sick and die.

Enjoy.

Dead over NYE how desperately sad?

Problem is we all move here for a better life but in doing so for the most part lose feeling part of a community.

R.I.P Ronnie.

Para,

There are still plenty of places in Thailand where one definitely feels a sense of community. Saying that, I've noticed for all the years I've been here, that the sense of community is falling by the wayside.

If one looks at other countries, the same trend has been around for some time. Cities being the worst for lack of community / neighborly...

RIP Ronnie...

I can't speak of any of the countries in Europe; however, after spending 6 years in Thailand and with a GF and kids most of the time, I couldn't wait to leave. I completely get what Para is saying. I was in Para's position of not being able to come back due to not having a job and not affording to leave the one I had in Thailand. It was 2 years of prospecting and waiting out the crappy economy until I got an awesome company to hire me over Skype. The job is in a beach community just north of San Diego, California. I was very concerned about the cost of living, the SoCal culture, and the possibility that America had changed so much I'd be very disappointed and regretting the move back when I got here (I hadn't visited in that 6 yrs).

Well, unbelievable, the people, weather, streets (I bike to work), beaches, cleanliness, business attitudes, far cheaper rents and food than I ever expected, sense of community, endless activities, parks, nightlife, big name entertainment, dozens and dozens of microbrews, beach runs, endless mountain biking trails out my front door, 2 hours to snowboarding, 30+ year old California women that make 30+ year old Thai women (assuming you get married and don't spend your entire remaining life chasing lowlife bar girls) look like soi dog meat, and on and on and on.

Everyday when I ride my bike to work (and I'm 59) I am so thankful that I don't have to be on edge ready to die dodging the crazy F'n drivers in Thailand. I went to a popular outdoor sports store and bought mtn running shoes. I wore them for 3 months about 40 times, but I bought them half-size too small. I went to buy a second pair and the guy said to bring the first ones back, no questions guarantee of satisfaction. He said if I had wore them for a year or even longer, it would be the same. Now try and find that kind of business in Thailand. When I went through immigration flying into LAX, the immigration police chatted with me and sincerely welcomed me back when I mentioned I had been gone a long time. Get that at immigration in Thailand. When my Issan fiance (we are applying for a Fiance visa right now to get her and the kids to eventually be US citizens) goes to Robinson's makeup counter, she can't even get waited on (I make six-figures and she shows it). In the US, she will be equal to everyone else and my kids won't have to grow up with the kind of F'd up prejudice found in Thailand.

If I was rich, I'd pay for Para to live her just so he could get out as I did. I can't image the kind of crap hole all of the rest of you came from to think Thailand is an up tick. Now, if you come from a really messed up country (fortunately, despite its problems, the US ain't one), then I feel sorry for you too. But if your home country is not messed up, I can't imagine you staying in Thailand for any reason than cheap kittie(synonym), and if that's it, then you are the kind of person who probably doesn't care about community or quality of life anyhow.

I guess that it all depends on you and your situation and Thailand has changed even during my time here.

I consider myself fortunate that having been happily married in CM for ten years with plenty of good neighbours, family and friends I feel very comfortable in Thailand. It isn't perfect and I'm not averse to the odd moan or three (!) but I wouldn't leave.

If I was alone here now I might feel differently.

Edited January 8, 2013 by bigbamboo

[JLCrab]

Kuhn Gohmer. -- I'm sure after your 6 year absence from USA all those delightful 30+ year-old California girls are glad to have you back.

[rgs2001uk]

In order to be part of the community, you must first want to be part of it. That means assimilating, participating, contributing, socialising. If you build fences around yourself and your house, have strict rules as to whom can visit and when, don't expect the community to accept and welcome you.

This is not in direct response to the deceased - just a general comment about being a foreigner in a foreign land.

This is good common sense advice which i'd go along with...up to a point. Unfortunately, too many ex-pats in LOS have reached out and tried to assimilate and contribute only to get badly burned in the process one way or another. So over time the stories circulate and we pull in our horns...Sad. RIP Ronnie.

Unfortunately, too many ex-pats in LOS have reached out and tried to assimilate and contribute only to get badly burned in the process one way or another

If you are single please ignore this post, however if you are married it may say more about your choice of partner and her family than it does about the local community.

I live in a Thai area, have attended, weddings, birthday parties, funerals, monks parties and university graduation parties. All it has ever cost me any single time has been the old one thousand baht in the envelope.

If you dont read or speak Thai your wife will be your eyes and ears, she should be guiding you through the shark infested waters, sheilding and protecting you, informing you of local protocol and custom.

Too many times I have seen guys married to a "mia farang" who tries to act like a big shot in the village, buying face and currying favour.

When you listen to the local Thais talk their disgust becomes obvious, why has she forgotten Thailand, not Thai anymore blah blah blah.

You have others, their partners dont want them learning Thai, <deleted> is that all about?

Then of course there are others locked up in the farang mansion, only allowed out once a month to go to the atm at the local Tesco or Big C, the wife doesnt want them talking to other farang lest the poor sap gets told the real cost of things like electricity, house and car insurance, school fees etc.

Yes when I first moved here I had locals try it on, tapping me up for money, no problem bring your wife/husband along and ask again in front on them, never happened.

For others yeah no problem, sign the house and land over, again never went any further.

They no longer ask me for money and they know better than to ask the mrs.

Yes its sad this poor guy checked out the way he did, could have happened anywhere.

[sirchai]

I totally agree with "bigbamboo".. When I’d moved to Thailand, almost everything was different. I’d met my wife and we’re still happily married after ten years. I settled down in lower north east, where my wife’s from and I've met many good Thai and foreign people.

I know where to go to get my car fixed; where to get decent food, etc., I’m familiar with the language that I’m independent of my wife translating all for me. Everything was better when I started working almost eight years ago, people were friendlier to foreigners, and life was more enjoyable and cheaper.

But I wouldn't like to live here without the support of my wife. I’m aware that going back to a European country after such a long time would be more than just a cultural shock, not just because of the weather.

I've met too many people here, being alone, divorced and without any friends, after they’d spent all their money for their dream.

I do not think that too many people came to Thailand to live alone, without “mates.”

I hope that “Ronnie” had a good life and some people who did care about him in the Land of not too many Smiles. But we all have to go one day....

Edited January 8, 2013 by sirchai

[seminomadic]

Kuhn Gohmer. -- I'm sure after your 6 year absence from USA all those delightful 30+ year-old California girls are glad to have you back.

Yes, American women have the best and most sexy, alluring attitudes. I loved the constant attempts at emasculation by the majority of the baby boomer generation and onwards.

JL, love the avatar. But for your signature, what about something else... like.. "She's my sister AND my daughter"

.... or maybe "Forget it, Jeab... it's Yaowarat"

[Soi Dog]

So many interesting posts, most with valid points. I agree with those who are sad that he died alone but also agree that he may have wanted it that way. No way for us to know so many of us are projecting our own feelings or fears about dying alone onto Ronnie.

As far as the community and quality of life goes, what you get out of Thailand is a function of your expectations and what you put into it. I have known some people who really hate living here but that is because they take things too seriously and have unrealistic expectations. I know that I will never be Thai or a part of this country and will probably never be fluent in the language but I still love it here after many years because I refuse to take the bad stuff too seriously or get caught up in Thai politics (after all it's not my country and I can't vote). When people ask me why I like living here I say that the two main reasons are that every day I see something I would never see in the US and that I have gotten to meet so many fascinating people that I could never have met in the US.

I do feel a sense of community in my moobaan, though. When I go out for my evening walk I often have people I don't really know nodding and smiling and saying hello to me. It makes me feel at home. I can also say that my brother who lives in the US finds himself amazed that since his health has deteriorated he is being supported by neighbors he never even spoke to before. It's all about people being mostly good at heart wherever you are and giving them a chance to show it.

[somtampet]

gohmer:

You said it bother. I did retire in Thailand with my Thai wife in March 2012. I purchased a car that was a two month wait renting a car until it arrived. I cought a bacteria flesh eating infection two weeks in the hospital plus surgery. The finance company would not take back the car unless i had owned it for two years? In the meantime a motorbike hit my car and I had to repir it before I sold it for a $10,000 loss. I payed for schooling for my child and stayed until her term was completed and everyone there was questioning why I refured to stay until the end of the year. I arrived in March 2012 and stayed five months (that was five months too long) with the humid weather, I could not wait to get home. All in all it cost me about $30,000 but , I am home again and don;t have to drive in that mess. I am glad i did not get into that home buying mess. I also, don't have to see older forgieners men playing with young Thai boys. Pattaya is the only one sin city of several in Thailand. If you are and older gent and want a young beautiful girl and drink youself to death, this is the place for you,

And Yes, Thailand has beautiful beaches and I will return but only for my wifes family once a year for one month. RIP Ronnie!!!

u sound like a very sad old man

[Arkady]

In the last big heatwave in France during the grand August exodus a few years ago, many old people were found dead in their homes from heat exhaustion when people returned from the seaside at the end of the month. Same thing happens in farang countries in the winter.

Moving to Thailand to retire is difficult since you don't have any network of friends, family and former colleagues and most people will never learn good enough Thai at an older age to integrate in any meaningful way. Most will also never meet local people that you can get to know through working here. It's a lot easier, if you worked in Thailand for several years before retirement but can still be difficult as so many expat friends move on to other countries or go back home. I suppose it's similar back home but people should be aware of the difficulties before making a decision to retire in Thailand. I don't think I would have wanted to move here at an advanced age with no real links to the country.