Westerners Behaviour Towards Thai Women In Public.

[Tchooptip]

some foreigners sometimes try to strike up a conversation, having in common the same question coming jokingly after a short time " Do you have a boy friend?"

In a Western country one could hardly ask bluntly such a question to a woman utter stranger, I mean in a super market or in the street.

As long as they remain polite and friendly, I think this is rather a good thing and nothing to be shy about.

I don't know why it is so complicated in Western countries and can't see any advantage in making it complicated.

I am sorry but I said bluntly , it has nothing to do with complicated but with politeness, if asked tactfully latter on no problem ...of course, but presently they are behaving no better than a buffalo

"asked tactfully later on"

and when is "later on"?

In 99% of cases, there is no later on for chance encounters - personally I think asking for contact details is more indiscrete than asking if someone has a boyfriend.

And I don't understand why asking about a boyfriend is impolite.

Quite the contrary, it gives the lady a chance to stall the discussion right there. If she says that she has no boyfriend, that is an invitation for the guy to offer meeting her later for dinner or a drink, whatever, and to ask for contact details.

What would be your advice to a guy who sees a hot lady at a mall for example?

"asked tactfully later on"

and when is "later on"?

I am not sure I wish to follow you on this terrain... Plus I do not ask any one to share my views, it was not the goal of this topic. on top of it I am not a flirt teacher

If you insist...later on is up to you but not the first minute like a Buffalo, of course thats MY point of view, I understand some men have a very limited imagination, and could hardly talk a few minutes to a stranger without feeling ill at ease not knowing what to say any more, most of their stories being learn by heart so better go straight to the goal.

In 99% of cases, there is no later on for chance encounters

​That's your own experience, maybe your are not so good at it ?

And I don't understand why asking about a boyfriend is impolite.

You insist...Stubborn !

Hello how are you, you beautiful girl, may I ask you a question, do you have a boy friend?

Exquisite, subtle, poetic,tactful

One who approach women with clogs could hardly understand

Quite the contrary, it gives the lady a chance to stall the discussion right there

If it's a LADY as you suggest, she WILL stall the discussion, I reckon with the bar girls you have a chance

What would be your advice to a guy who sees a hot lady at a mall for example?

HOT ladies being not my cup of tea I could hardly give any advice

[Styx]

some farangs are hitting on girls on bts, shopping malls etc and some thai men do that too, why this doesn't happen much in europe or in the usa is that a thai woman is always polite, smiling and doesn't refuse conversation even though she isn't interested which can give the guy false expectations.

if a white girl is not interested she doesn't have a problem to show it.

[Tchooptip]

Im far from attractive but I found that women in SE asia hit on me quite a lot. For instance in Singapore where I was working it was a daily occurance for attractive women to come up to me and strike up a conversation. In the Philippines I would be beating them off with a stick. Even when I was walking around with my (then) GF. Local women would come up to me say stuff like, what you do with her?? When I was back packing through Japan it was the same deal, like shooting fish in a barrel, Maybe asian women are a bit more randy and upfront

I am far for attractive...

What a shame...So please change your avatar

[simple1]

I would worry when my wife stopped telling me when men tried to pick her up, silence conveys a lot of information.

Edited January 15, 2013 by simple1

[MrRealDeal]

It's probabbly done more often than you think , your right it's not the best approach , but you underestimate the amount its done in the west.

[tingtongtourist]

Some guys, it seems, just cannot help themselves, maybe through immaturity and inexperience, and maybe through some form of social maladjustment.

I opened a thread yesterday on almost the same topic in the CM thread, (but unfortunately the trolls came to play and it was closed down). There is a guy in CM who keeps hitting on my gf and can't seem to take 'no' for an answer. I think there are some guys who really cannot understand why women don't immediately swoon at their feet. I am so irritated now (especially about the creep in CM) that I am leaning towards the opinion that they are social inadequates, who believe that they are God's gift and that their inept attempts to make contact with females is somehow doing them a favour.

You ask how do I react? So far, I have not reacted at all, but I guess I'll have to do something soon.

Sheesh!

Some guys just regard "No" as a challenge but most of them get the message eventually and move on.

Still, going on what I recall from your thread in the CM forum, I'm sure your Thai GF has more than enough experience to know how to deal with unwanted attention. I'm not saying that she's reluctant to deploy that experience on account of, perhaps, actually being flattered but a fair number of Thai women won't take as much shit off foreign guys as they will off their Thai counterparts.

The only justification for you getting involved would be if he gets physical with her.

Frankly, I doubt you've really got anything to worry about.

Frankly, I doubt you've really got anything to worry about.every

​I hope everybody understood I did not worry at all, not one second! Me and my wife were not the subject in fact. It was generally speaking. It seems (thought I) some men once they have crossed the Thailand border, see almost every woman female, as a potential hooker. Understandable in some places. I gave an example in a birthday party, the Russian saw she was not alone, however managed to ask if he could see her later on. My education forbid me to behave like that with an other guest to whom I have talked to in a party, it was not a bar but a restaurant not open this very night to the public. Maybe he would have done the same in his home country ? Maybe it's me ? I prefer the old school behaviour but won't change

You do have a point to say this but also it is a little extreme.IMO, i dont think theres a big percentage of guys who approach it in this way.

I think some guys especially Brit and Oz are like this from experience of the last girl in their own country where if you even talk in the most innocent way the females seem to have a big problem and react badly to anyone even being friendly to the extent where they would like to smack you in the $$ for even daring to say hello, this is how good they think they are.

Maybe being able to talk to the female in a way nature did intended is refreshing to many and this is why they do it?

To many western woman are so carried away with themself that they think every guy who would say hello to them does want to ......

Yes i know, after some experiences here i sometimes do not have good things to say about the Thai lady but at least it is nice that you can at least talk to them and have a innocent conversatione without the feeling of a threat of being arrested

[tingtongtourist]

some farangs are hitting on girls on bts, shopping malls etc and some thai men do that too, why this doesn't happen much in europe or in the usa is that a thai woman is always polite, smiling and doesn't refuse conversation even though she isn't interested which can give the guy false expectations.

if a white girl is not interested she doesn't have a problem to show it.

Expectations of what!!!??? just talking to someone is the same as hitting on them????

good lord, thanyou, your post did clarify everything i did say in my above post..are you female by chance?

[manarak]

"asked tactfully later on"

and when is "later on"?

I am not sure I wish to follow you on this terrain... Plus I do not ask any one to share my views, it was not the goal of this topic. on top of it I am not a flirt teacher

If you insist...later on is up to you but not the first minute like a Buffalo, of course thats MY point of view, I understand some men have a very limited imagination, and could hardly talk a few minutes to a stranger without feeling ill at ease not knowing what to say any more, most of their stories being learn by heart so better go straight to the goal.

In 99% of cases, there is no later on for chance encounters

​That's your own experience, maybe your are not so good at it ?

And I don't understand why asking about a boyfriend is impolite.

You insist...Stubborn !

Hello how are you, you beautiful girl, may I ask you a question, do you have a boy friend?

Exquisite, subtle, poetic,tactful

One who approach women with clogs could hardly understand

Quite the contrary, it gives the lady a chance to stall the discussion right there

If it's a LADY as you suggest, she WILL stall the discussion, I reckon with the bar girls you have a chance

What would be your advice to a guy who sees a hot lady at a mall for example?

HOT ladies being not my cup of tea I could hardly give any advice

I think your criticism of men's behavior is simply hiding your very conservative / prudish / victorian opinions and refusal of casual encounters, which has nothing to do with politeness or class.

It is only human to be interested in a person and make contact and ask that person if the feeling is reciprocated - of course in a polite, friendly and light-hearted way and after some minutes of conversation to allow for the usual signs/stimuli to be exchanged. Depending on the signals, the question can also never be asked at all.

Considering such act in itself as being impolite is... I don't know how to put it... it's beyond arrogance - maybe "inhuman", associated with a refusal of reality as well as a self-imbued moral superiority.

[Puyai]

My ex worked as a nurse's aide, and used to walk to the Skytrain to go to work every morning around 7 am... wearing not a mini-skirt but rather her white hospital uniform.

You wouldn't think, perhaps, 7 am would the prime hunting time for farang guys on the make. But she'd come home from work more than a few times telling me how some farang guy had tried to pick her up on the way to work that morning, or tried to engage her in a conversation about her personal life....

These being guys she didn't know, and hadn't seen before... not quite the same as someone who perhaps lived on the same soi and was traveling to work at the same time on the same street every day.

It does seem to me there are more than a few guys who seem to think that every female here is for sale/rent, perhaps the same as the ones they have the habit of socializing with.

Or maybe because she's in her uniform and works is what makes her attractive. The guys might think she's free/not for rent.

[Kilgore Trout]

Some foreigners, as well as Thais act innapropriately. This is a true fact everywhere in the world.

Comparing it though, to Western society is mistaken. Yes, in the west, going up to a girl you dont know and asking if they have a boyfriend would be offensive to most.

However, Thais I don't know ask me on the street where I am going (pai nai?), people I've just met ask me how much money I make, etc. the list goes on.

Perhaps you would like to inform these people that this behavior is not accepted in the West, so the Thais should not do it in their own country, or perhaps you believe that people should have different standards of behavior based on their race/ethnicity/nationality?

[tinfoilhat]

As long as they remain polite and friendly, I think this is rather a good thing and nothing to be shy about.

I don't know why it is so complicated in Western countries and can't see any advantage in making it complicated.

I am sorry but I said bluntly , it has nothing to do with complicated but with politeness, if asked tactfully latter on no problem ...of course, but presently they are behaving no better than a buffalo

"asked tactfully later on"

and when is "later on"?

In 99% of cases, there is no later on for chance encounters - personally I think asking for contact details is more indiscrete than asking if someone has a boyfriend.

And I don't understand why asking about a boyfriend is impolite.

Quite the contrary, it gives the lady a chance to stall the discussion right there. If she says that she has no boyfriend, that is an invitation for the guy to offer meeting her later for dinner or a drink, whatever, and to ask for contact details.

What would be your advice to a guy who sees a hot lady at a mall for example?

"asked tactfully later on"

and when is "later on"?

I am not sure I wish to follow you on this terrain... Plus I do not ask any one to share my views, it was not the goal of this topic. on top of it I am not a flirt teacher

If you insist...later on is up to you but not the first minute like a Buffalo, of course thats MY point of view, I understand some men have a very limited imagination, and could hardly talk a few minutes to a stranger without feeling ill at ease not knowing what to say any more, most of their stories being learn by heart so better go straight to the goal.

In 99% of cases, there is no later on for chance encounters

​That's your own experience, maybe your are not so good at it ?

And I don't understand why asking about a boyfriend is impolite.

You insist...Stubborn !

Hello how are you, you beautiful girl, may I ask you a question, do you have a boy friend?

Exquisite, subtle, poetic,tactful

One who approach women with clogs could hardly understand

Quite the contrary, it gives the lady a chance to stall the discussion right there

If it's a LADY as you suggest, she WILL stall the discussion, I reckon with the bar girls you have a chance

What would be your advice to a guy who sees a hot lady at a mall for example?

HOT ladies being not my cup of tea I could hardly give any advice

i think you are making a big deal about sweet xxxx all.

the only other option i can see i you do not possess the language to actually say what you mean, because it is really difficult to understand xactly what the point you are trying to make is

Edited January 20, 2013 by metisdead

[matt helm]

Some guys, it seems, just cannot help themselves, maybe through immaturity and inexperience, and maybe through some form of social maladjustment.

I opened a thread yesterday on almost the same topic in the CM thread, (but unfortunately the trolls came to play and it was closed down). There is a guy in CM who keeps hitting on my gf and can't seem to take 'no' for an answer. I think there are some guys who really cannot understand why women don't immediately swoon at their feet. I am so irritated now (especially about the creep in CM) that I am leaning towards the opinion that they are social inadequates, who believe that they are God's gift and that their inept attempts to make contact with females is somehow doing them a favour.

You ask how do I react? So far, I have not reacted at all, but I guess I'll have to do something soon.

Sheesh!

Some guys just regard "No" as a challenge but most of them get the message eventually and move on.

Still, going on what I recall from your thread in the CM forum, I'm sure your Thai GF has more than enough experience to know how to deal with unwanted attention. I'm not saying that she's reluctant to deploy that experience on account of, perhaps, actually being flattered but a fair number of Thai women won't take as much shit off foreign guys as they will off their Thai counterparts.

The only justification for you getting involved would be if he gets physical with her.

Frankly, I doubt you've really got anything to worry about.

Frankly, I doubt you've really got anything to worry about.every

​I hope everybody understood I did not worry at all, not one second! Me and my wife were not the subject in fact. It was generally speaking. It seems (thought I) some men once they have crossed the Thailand border, see almost every woman female, as a potential hooker. Understandable in some places. I gave an example in a birthday party, the Russian saw she was not alone, however managed to ask if he could see her later on. My education forbid me to behave like that with an other guest to whom I have talked to in a party, it was not a bar but a restaurant not open this very night to the public. Maybe he would have done the same in his home country ? Maybe it's me ? I prefer the old school behaviour but won't change

You do have a point to say this but also it is a little extreme.IMO, i dont think theres a big percentage of guys who approach it in this way.

I think some guys especially Brit and Oz are like this from experience of the last girl in their own country where if you even talk in the most innocent way the females seem to have a big problem and react badly to anyone even being friendly to the extent where they would like to smack you in the $$ for even daring to say hello, this is how good they think they are.

Maybe being able to talk to the female in a way nature did intended is refreshing to many and this is why they do it?

To many western woman are so carried away with themself that they think every guy who would say hello to them does want to ......

Yes i know, after some experiences here i sometimes do not have good things to say about the Thai lady but at least it is nice that you can at least talk to them and have a innocent conversatione without the feeling of a threat of being arrested

I agree with this. The OP's question would require going into the cultural differences of various countries. I think men who come from cultures where the women are more standoffish are more likely to display this type of attitude. In Latin countries the daily interaction of men and women is more intimate without it being of a romantic nature. Another problem is we are now living in the MTV age where crude behavior is more acceptable than it used to be.

[thenervoussurgeon]

When i first went to my wifes home many years ago her mum had a few of her old lady friends around and when they were talking to each other not realizing that i understood one old lady turned to another one and said something along the lines of "i wouldnt mind his shoes under my bed" ,these things happen just take it with a pinch of salt and as for foreigners being forward with Thai women ,its usually tourists in areas like Pattaya that do it,thinking all Thai women are the same ,it does not happen among polite people who live here.

Edited January 16, 2013 by thenervoussurgeon

[akspace]

Personally I still don't understand the problem...asking a women if she is single is rude? How long does one have to know the women before the question is acceptable? Does the time vary depending on location? I mean I can ask right away in a bar? But not the market?

Of course I behave the same way no matter where I am in the world, it hasn't ever been a problem. So I guess maybe it's not rude afterall...

[kevvy]

are you a jealous man ? just wondering . As many men dont like other men even talking to their gf/wife.

[Tchooptip]

It's probabbly done more often than you think , your right it's not the best approach , but you underestimate the amount its done in the west.

I do not underestimate... I never thought of it... even thought I do not underestimate the Buffalos behaviour in the west , not only towards women, towards every one

[chiangmaikelly]

Thai monks shave their eyebrows. Other Buddhist monks don't (I think). I have heard the story about the Burmese spies but I don't believe it. I think Thai monks shave their eyebrows because of how Thai people flirt. As long as the guy does not do the Thai flirting technique you have nothing to worry about. If you don't know what it is you also have nothing to worry about.

Which leads back to the question, why did she tell you? Thai women do nothing or say nothing without a reason. They are the alpha women of the universe. Every picture tells a story don't it? Actually the last verse. Rod Stewart fans will get this one.

[evanson]

some foreigners sometimes try to strike up a conversation, having in common the same question coming jokingly after a short time " Do you have a boy friend?"

In a Western country one could hardly ask bluntly such a question to a woman utter stranger, I mean in a super market or in the street.

As long as they remain polite and friendly, I think this is rather a good thing and nothing to be shy about.

I don't know why it is so complicated in Western countries and can't see any advantage in making it complicated.

Seriously. How likely is it you will have seen a fat balding middle aged man openly giggling and flirting with a young shop assistant down your local Sainsbury's? I can't count the number of times I've squirmed with embarrassment at the sight of this here. Edited January 16, 2013 by evanson

[HardenedSoul]

Not to sound arrogant or anything but given that many men on this forum came here because they couldn't pull back home, I think I'd take the majority of these opinions on what is or is not acceptable when approaching women with the proverbial pinch of salt.

[rgs2001uk]

Not to sound arrogant or anything but given that many men on this forum came here because they couldn't pull back home, I think I'd take the majority of these opinions on what is or is not acceptable when approaching women with the proverbial pinch of salt.

What you are unaware of, on arrival when walking through the X-ray machine you arent actually being searched, you are being zapped with hansum man gamma rays.

These gamma rays alter your whole perception, next time you look in the mirror as you are shaving, its not some 5 foot 6 short ass dwarf weighing 300 lbs and as bald as a coot and the personality of a house brick that stares back, you have now been transformed into Dr Love, a sex god irresistible to woman, a regular fanny magnet.

Be aware, on departure you are also zapped and transformed back into the loser you were on

arrival.

[chiangmaikelly]

Not to sound arrogant or anything but given that many men on this forum came here because they couldn't pull back home, I think I'd take the majority of these opinions on what is or is not acceptable when approaching women with the proverbial pinch of salt.

I don't live in a tourist area but I have never seen men in Thailand having to pull anything. I have looked at the INTERNET dating sites and it's like 100 women to one Farang male. Have you ever watched a guy pull up in the parking lot of a shop in a Mercedes and have his driver open the door? Drivers are cheap in Thailand. I frankly have never have met a guy who had to do anything to pull women. What do they look like?

[HardenedSoul]

Not to sound arrogant or anything but given that many men on this forum came here because they couldn't pull back home, I think I'd take the majority of these opinions on what is or is not acceptable when approaching women with the proverbial pinch of salt.

I don't live in a tourist area but I have never seen men in Thailand having to pull anything. I have looked at the INTERNET dating sites and it's like 100 women to one Farang male. Have you ever watched a guy pull up in the parking lot of a shop in a Mercedes and have his driver open the door? Drivers are cheap in Thailand. I frankly have never have met a guy who had to do anything to pull women. What do they look like?

Well I did say "back home" so I don't know what your point is.

[matt helm]

Not to sound arrogant or anything but given that many men on this forum came here because they couldn't pull back home, I think I'd take the majority of these opinions on what is or is not acceptable when approaching women with the proverbial pinch of salt.

The OP was asking why some men are rude when approaching the native women, he was not asking for pointers on how to attract them. We already know what a lady killer you are so no need to remind us on every post you make.

[andrew]

Which leads back to the question, why did she tell you? Thai women do nothing or say nothing without a reason. They are the alpha women of the universe. Every picture tells a story don't it? Actually the last verse. Rod Stewart fans will get this one.

But remember one thing, don't lose your head

To a woman that'll spend your bread

Rod Stewart, Every Picture Tells A Story

Edited January 16, 2013 by andrew

[Tchooptip]

Some foreigners, as well as Thais act innapropriately. This is a true fact everywhere in the world.

Comparing it though, to Western society is mistaken. Yes, in the west, going up to a girl you dont know and asking if they have a boyfriend would be offensive to most.

However, Thais I don't know ask me on the street where I am going (pai nai?), people I've just met ask me how much money I make, etc. the list goes on.

Perhaps you would like to inform these people that this behavior is not accepted in the West, so the Thais should not do it in their own country, or perhaps you believe that people should have different standards of behavior based on their race/ethnicity/nationality?

I understand your answer 100%

but "Perhaps you would like to inform these people that this behavior is not accepted in the West, so the Thais should not do it in their own country, or perhaps you believe that people should have different standards of behavior based on their race/ethnicity/nationality?"

has nothing to do with my first post, since it was about Westerners towards Thai girls/woman I reckon I am not an English native speaker... Now I wonder if I am capable to make my self understand at all?... Or maybe you read too fast?

[andrew]

Not to sound arrogant or anything but given that many men on this forum came here because they couldn't pull back home, I think I'd take the majority of these opinions on what is or is not acceptable when approaching women with the proverbial pinch of salt.

I think I'd take the majority of these opinions ... with the proverbial pinch of salt

I use a shovel.

[HardenedSoul]

Not to sound arrogant or anything but given that many men on this forum came here because they couldn't pull back home, I think I'd take the majority of these opinions on what is or is not acceptable when approaching women with the proverbial pinch of salt.

The OP was asking why some men are rude when approaching the native women, he was not asking for pointers on how to attract them. We already know what a lady killer you are so no need to remind us on every post you make.

No he wasn't. He was asking if foreign men consider all Thai women to be fair game; rudeness had nothing to do with it. The thread's progressed since then and is exploring what is inappropriate if/when approaching women.

[gmac]

I find it particularly offensive on Beach Road, in Pattaya where unfortunately the vast majority of the area appears to have been taken over by individuals who are indeed 'up for sale/rent'. This, however, should not mean that respectable women who are there innocently should be subjected to requests such as 'how much for short time?' This from personal experience when carelessly leaving my wife unattended for about 10 minutes whilst going to buy some ice creams, during this time she was propositioned in this kind of manner no less than 4 times!

Edited January 16, 2013 by gmac

[Berkshire]

Some foreigners, as well as Thais act innapropriately. This is a true fact everywhere in the world.

Comparing it though, to Western society is mistaken. Yes, in the west, going up to a girl you dont know and asking if they have a boyfriend would be offensive to most.

However, Thais I don't know ask me on the street where I am going (pai nai?), people I've just met ask me how much money I make, etc. the list goes on.

Perhaps you would like to inform these people that this behavior is not accepted in the West, so the Thais should not do it in their own country, or perhaps you believe that people should have different standards of behavior based on their race/ethnicity/nationality?

I understand your answer 100%

but "Perhaps you would like to inform these people that this behavior is not accepted in the West, so the Thais should not do it in their own country, or perhaps you believe that people should have different standards of behavior based on their race/ethnicity/nationality?"

has nothing to do with my first post, since it was about Westerners towards Thai girls/woman I reckon I am not an English native speaker... Now I wonder if I am capable to make my self understand at all?... Or maybe you read too fast?

Don't worry, Tchooptip, your opening post was easily understood. Quite clear. It's not you at all. It's our resident Thai critic, Mr. Kilgore. You see, Kilgore has a tendency to try and twist the meaning of every thread, with the ultimate aim of finding a way to criticize the Thais. That's what he does. That's almost all that he does.

[chiangmaikelly]

I find it particularly offensive on Beach Road, in Pattaya where unfortunately the vast majority of the area appears to have been taken over by individuals who are indeed 'up for sale/rent'. This, however, should not mean that respectable women who are there innocently should be subjected to requests such as 'how much for short time?' This from personal experience when carelessly leaving my wife unattended for about 10 minutes whilst going to buy some ice creams, during this time she was propositioned in this kind of manner no less than 4 times!

I think the area was taken over about 10 years ago if memory serves me correctly. While you were there looking at all of the working ladies who make Beach road home didn't you think another place may have been more appropriate for a family outing?