The Worst Type Of Falang And Thai....

[thaibeachlovers]

My point is if she has kids, and you marry her, then they are part of the deal. Is that wrong?

Sounds like Im hitting some raw nerves perhaps?

<Is that wrong?>

In Thailand, yes.

[HeavyDrinker]

My point is if she has kids, and you marry her, then they are part of the deal. Is that wrong?

Sounds like Im hitting some raw nerves perhaps?

Not really. I think you're more "treading on thin ice". Putting your nose in where it's not wanted is not a good idea especially in Thailand.

To me it's a perfectly normal situation, and you are jumping to wild conclusions.

Would you rather see the parents scraping a living in Isaan? How do you know they're not missing the kids like crazy? How do you know they're not working their backsides off in Norway trying to amass enough to give the kids a decent future.

I think you should take up fishing (or at least get a hobby) instead of inventing wild surmises about people you know nothing about. People like you can be pure poison.

I'd love it when you have a "word" with him, if he turned around and plugged you one on the beak.

[Mooner]

We all know it is common for grandparents to take care of the kids. If the mother is not there hopefully she sends money home to look after the kids. 2 years is a long time not to see your children.

Like somebody has said. If you get involved with a women, you take on all the baggage that goes with it and vice versa.

[TommoPhysicist]

We all know it is common for grandparents to take care of the kids. If the mother is not there hopefully she sends money home to look after the kids. 2 years is a long time not to see your children.

Like somebody has said. If you get involved with a women, you take on all the baggage that goes with it and vice versa.

Real men tell their women how much baggage they can bring with them, and the size of the suitcase they can pack it in.

[krisb]

I would consider 'the worst sort of white foreigner' (racial slur altered) to be the ones that come to live in a foreign country then proceed to tell who they perceive to be 'ignorant natives' how they should conduct their lives.

Tell others how to live their life like yourself is now doing?

Gee Ive really hit a nerve with you havnt I. Does this story sound familiar? is that it?

My point is if you marry a lady with kids, you should want the best for them all. Is that not the case in your book? Its called having morals and ethics. Its got nothing to do with minding my own business, it was my thoughts on an observation on a family I know quite well and my wife has know for over 25 years, and if thats the case why are you here reading a forum about others thoughts and not off minding your own business?

Practice what you preach champ.

Edited January 18, 2013 by krisb

[arthurwait]

We all know it is common for grandparents to take care of the kids. If the mother is not there hopefully she sends money home to look after the kids. 2 years is a long time not to see your children.

Like somebody has said. If you get involved with a women, you take on all the baggage that goes with it and vice versa.

Real men tell their women how much baggage they can bring with them, and the size of the suitcase they can pack it in.

How 's it going with the sister in law/ your future second wife ?

[HardenedSoul]

We all know it is common for grandparents to take care of the kids. If the mother is not there hopefully she sends money home to look after the kids. 2 years is a long time not to see your children.

Like somebody has said. If you get involved with a women, you take on all the baggage that goes with it and vice versa.

Alternatively, one could just avoid Thai women who already have young children.

[krisb]

From the outside looking in, it appears that the children are not being raised the optimal environment. However, no one here (including the OP) knows all the details regarding why the parents are not present or when they are returning.

For the OP: Mind your own business.

We know them well actually. Ive got the facts right.

[TommoPhysicist]

We all know it is common for grandparents to take care of the kids. If the mother is not there hopefully she sends money home to look after the kids. 2 years is a long time not to see your children.

Like somebody has said. If you get involved with a women, you take on all the baggage that goes with it and vice versa.

Real men tell their women how much baggage they can bring with them, and the size of the suitcase they can pack it in.

How 's it going with the sister in law/ your future second wife ?

It has it's ups and downs!

[HeavyDrinker]

My point is if you marry a lady with kids, you should want the best for them all

How do you know this bloke doesn't want the best for them?

[krisb]

My point is if you marry a lady with kids, you should want the best for them all

How do you know this bloke doesn't want the best for them?

I know the full story. Living next door to the family and everyone loves a good chat.

[arthurwait]

We all know it is common for grandparents to take care of the kids. If the mother is not there hopefully she sends money home to look after the kids. 2 years is a long time not to see your children.

Like somebody has said. If you get involved with a women, you take on all the baggage that goes with it and vice versa.

Real men tell their women how much baggage they can bring with them, and the size of the suitcase they can pack it in.

How 's it going with the sister in law/ your future second wife ?

It has it's ups and downs!

Real men Tommo, real men. Shall I call the porter for the baggage ?

[krisb]

We all know it is common for grandparents to take care of the kids. If the mother is not there hopefully she sends money home to look after the kids. 2 years is a long time not to see your children.

Like somebody has said. If you get involved with a women, you take on all the baggage that goes with it and vice versa.

Real men tell their women how much baggage they can bring with them, and the size of the suitcase they can pack it in.

How 's it going with the sister in law/ your future second wife ?

It has it's ups and downs!

Real men dont let women give them any downs.

[HeavyDrinker]

I know the full story. Living next door to the family and everyone loves a good chat.

So you're going off gossip? You've already said you've not met the bloke yet. Hold your horses and find out the facts for yourself before making a clown out of yourself.

As for all this "real men" cobblers, 'real men' simply respect their women.

Edited January 18, 2013 by HeavyDrinker

[MrRealDeal]

You went from never having spoken to him............... to knowing them well.

You might know what other people have to say about him well ...... but you don't know a person you have never talked to well.

[TommoPhysicist]

I know the full story. Living next door to the family and everyone loves a good chat.

And Thais always tell the truth ............. whether they know it or not.

Edited January 18, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[krisb]

I would consider 'the worst sort of white foreigner' (racial slur altered) to be the ones that come to live in a foreign country then proceed to tell who they perceive to be 'ignorant natives' how they should conduct their lives.

Firstly I dont live there but Id really like to 1 day, never assume Thommo, get the facts like I did in my op.

Secondly, my wife does/did live in Thailand for 37yrs, and she has told this mum who she has known since they were kids.

So what you got now?....

[loong]

The Father left the children.

The Mother hooked up with a Farang and pissed off to Norway, leaving the kids at Grandmother's

Who's at fault here?

[krisb]

You went from never having spoken to him............... to knowing them well.

You might know what other people have to say about him well ...... but you don't know a person you have never talked to well.

Correct, never him, but the rest of the family are long time next door neighbours.

Correct, perhaps he is as bad as he looks.

[krisb]

The Father left the children.

The Mother hooked up with a Farang and pissed off to Norway, leaving the kids at Grandmother's

Who's at fault here?

Just like I said in my op.

[HeavyDrinker]

Correct, perhaps he is as bad as he looks.

So now you're going off the appearance of a bloke you've never met...?

Keep digging....

[yermanee]

It's a cruel world we live in and there's not much we can do about it, except maybe set an example.

The mother obviously chose the money and the easy life over her children.

And the Thai father of the children is more to blame than the Norwegian, who after all maybe got more than he bargained for and didn't know she had children when he hooked-up with her.

Yermanee

"Got more than he bargained for..."

"Mother obviously chose money..."

Ah, so the westerner is an innocent bystander and the Thai an evildoer? I love bashing, but, really now!

Some of you guys on TV must have very, very strong quads with all the jumping to conclusions you do.

P.S. I love your avatar.

.

You forgot the " maybe " in front of " more than he ......."

Thanks for the compliment re my avatar

Yermanee

[HardenedSoul]

Yes it is common for Thai women from certain backgrounds to send kids to their grandparents to be raised while they apparently try to earn a shekel to send home but I've certainly come across cases where the financial imperative is not the driver behind the decision.

One 41 year old I know had her daughter at 22 and immediately packed her off to stay with the folks while she whooped it up in the bars and clubs of Bangkok. On occasion, we would talk quite a lot about things that troubled her and one of those things was the fact that, since her daughter had gotten older, she only seemed to get in touch with her mum when she wanted something that cost a lot of money; mobile phones, laptop, fashion items etc.

It was all I could do to make her see that the situation was entirely her fault because not only had she failed to shoulder her responsibilities as a parent and kibosh the partying but also because she'd only gone home to visit a couple of times each year for most of the 19 years her daughter had been alive.

The thing is, for an increasing number of these women, it's got jackshit to do with sending money home and almost everything to do with finding a boyfriend/husband of means who doesn't mind if she's got kids from a previous relationship. and, as we all know, these men tend to be foreigners.

This may very well be the situation the woman in the OP is in.

[MrRealDeal]

I'm really confused now ...... You start off with the next door neighbor part ...... now you don't live here , but somehow even though your not the neighbor because you don't live here, you talk to the next door neighbors about this guy enough to know a man you never met well ? How do you talk to the neighbors who aren't your neighbors ?

[krisb]

I'm really confused now ...... You start off with the next door neighbor part ...... now you don't live here , but somehow even though your not the neighbor because you don't live here, you talk to the next door neighbors about this guy enough to know a man you never met well ? How do you talk to the neighbors who aren't your neighbors ?

Im there a few months a year. That must qualify as a neighbour.

[Phronesis]

The utopic adumbration in the OPs post is that all children should remain in the care of their mothers.

If such a requirement was strictly imposed here in Thailand there would be a swift 40 percent loss of construction labor, 70 percent loss of factory labor, and 90 percent loss of bar staff.

[krisb]

Yes it is common for Thai women from certain backgrounds to send kids to their grandparents to be raised while they apparently try to earn a shekel to send home but I've certainly come across cases where the financial imperative is not the driver behind the decision.

One 41 year old I know had her daughter at 22 and immediately packed her off to stay with the folks while she whooped it up in the bars and clubs of Bangkok. On occasion, we would talk quite a lot about things that troubled her and one of those things was the fact that, since her daughter had gotten older, she only seemed to get in touch with her mum when she wanted something that cost a lot of money; mobile phones, laptop, fashion items etc.

It was all I could do to make her see that the situation was entirely her fault because not only had she failed to shoulder her responsibilities as a parent and kibosh the partying but also because she'd only gone home to visit a couple of times each year for most of the 19 years her daughter had been alive.

The thing is, for an increasing number of these women, it's got jackshit to do with sending money home and almost everything to do with finding a boyfriend/husband of means who doesn't mind if she's got kids from a previous relationship. and, as we all know, these men tend to be foreigners.

This may very well be the situation the woman in the OP is in.

Basically very similar HS.

Look perhaps in my op I should have said a bit more regarding how well we know the family, especially in my wifes instance. My wife is really good friends with this gradmother, has been for a long time. So I understand people telling me mind my own business, up to them. The way I see it I do. I just think the whole thing is not good for the kids that are this young, Sorry if Ive offended anyone here with my observations as it seems alot have taken the side of the mother and husband on this 1.

[up-country_sinclair]

My point is if you marry a lady with kids, you should want the best for them all

How do you know this bloke doesn't want the best for them?

I know the full story. Living next door to the family and everyone loves a good chat.

Also known as "idle gossip".

The only people who know why they parents aren't there are the parents themselves. Don't be such a busybody and mind your own business.

Or if you're that concerned, start adoption proceedings.

[krisb]

My point is if you marry a lady with kids, you should want the best for them all

How do you know this bloke doesn't want the best for them?

I know the full story. Living next door to the family and everyone loves a good chat.

Also known as "idle gossip".

The only people who know why they parents aren't there are the parents themselves. Don't be such a busybody and mind your own business.

Or if you're that concerned, start adoption proceedings.

Why do people keep telling me to mind my own business when they arent minding their own like you hypocrite.

[up-country_sinclair]

I'm really confused now ...... You start off with the next door neighbor part ...... now you don't live here , but somehow even though your not the neighbor because you don't live here, you talk to the next door neighbors about this guy enough to know a man you never met well ? How do you talk to the neighbors who aren't your neighbors ?

Im there a few months a year. That must qualify as a neighbour.

Well the either the grandmother's English or your Thai must be excellent, because this is a very complex and nuanced topic for which a rudimentary vocabulary will not be enough.