Introduce yourself

[sabaijai]

Hi my name is Steve, and I'm a Buddhist.

Sounds like an AA meeting.

I'm currently working on the gradual reduction of desire through an extensive practise of laziness and distraction.

I wanted to become a Buddhist monk in the Tibetan tradition but the girlfriend wouldn't let me.

Marry a Thai Buddhist and that excuse will evaporate ...

Tried that one but the girlfriend was having none of that as well

Come to think of it, can't monks in most Tibetan Buddhist (Gelugpa excepted) marry?

I would say some but not most. The Gelugs ( the root of my tradition ) and the Kagyus have celebate monks. That accounts for a majority I would say. The Sakyas I'm not sure about and the Nyingmas certainly have some married monks although they may have the celebate kind as well.

The Nyingmas aren't (in general) and they're the second largest order, right? I thought I'd read somewhere that only Gelugpa monks were celibate by rule. I did come across this statement on a Kagyu-related website:

Not all lamas are monks or nuns, and celibacy is not a requirement for teaching in most Tibetan Buddhist denominations. However, in the denomination to which His Holiness Dalai Lama belongs, celibacy is the rule.

which seems to indicate a similar notion. Anyway I defer to you, you're the expert here.

So why not change to the Nyingma sect?

[h90]

Even I am not qualified at the buddhist topic, I want to give you a warm welcome :-)

I am 35, Austrian, 100 % Atheist (hope right spelled in english).

For any reason all tell me that I am the better Buddhist than they are themself, I just try to not kill any life, respect anything, not harm anything and not get angry. I belive in some kind of silence and balance.

Definitly I am not buddhist......

Warm welcome :-)

I have been reading over the posts here for the last few days. There are a number of people here who seem to be very interested in and knowledgeable about Buddhism. I would like to know more about you. I am new here, and if there is already some place that you have written your bios as Buddhists them please point me to that. Otherwise, if you have the time, I would love to know more about your backgrounds, espically in Buddhism.

I'll start, by reposting something I wrote in another topic:

I am 56, recently retired, and thinking about maybe moving to Thailand, or maybe living there several months a year. I visited there breifly 30 years ago, but that doesn't really count, so think of me as someone who is totally new.

I have been practicing meditaiton for most of my life. I have been connected with various Sangha's here in America. I have spent time with Zen, Tibetian and Vipassana groups. I think of myself as a Buddhist is a very liberal sense. If you have read "Buddhism without Beliefs" that fits me.

[chownah]

H90,

I'm not trying to make you into a Buddhist but atheism and Buddhism are compatible. There is no god in Buddhism.....it just has to do with the idea that you can learn how to have less suffering in your life...that's all. The Buddha actually says that you shouldn't believe what he says just because he says it.

Chownah

Edited March 3, 2006 by chownah

[h90]

chownah: thanks for the email! I am more than happy that you wrote that nice email even we diagree on politics. I really appriciate that you understand that different opinons in one topic does not mean an opposite in a different.....

Please correct me if I am wrong, my picture of buddhism is made from what I saw/heared from my wife, so there can be major missunderstandings in it, feel free to tell me....

I write free what I think, nothing is meant to discredit anything, just what my impressions are:

What me disturbs is that some person (mostly dead ones) get a position like holy ones in christs or godnesses in other religions. They pray to them for special things (like getting a baby, wining in lottery), I even saw many times a few southeners praying to some buddhist things for "please make Thaksin dead" I guess/hope that this is an heavy abuse of the religion.

I saw in TV mongs at the army putting water over the guys (I think but not sure if I remember right, also over the guns). How does this fit in a peacefull way of living??? I am ready to fight and kill people if someone want to kill me, but I know thats actually very very wrong, if someone want to kill me, let him kill me, it is a better way of thinking. But I am far away to accept it myself, but how mongs can support the army??

I have major doubts about born again. Here I am in a strange situation, on one side I somehow belive I had a life before. If I hear Wochenschau and Hitler speaking I have the feeling I know it, I heard that before. On the other side I fully belive if I am dead it is like you switch of the computer.....

please note, everything not meant to insult someone, just my thoughts....

H90,

I'm not trying to make you into a Buddhist but atheism and Buddhism are compatible. There is no god in Buddhism.....it just has to do with the idea that you can learn how to have less suffering in your life...that's all. The Buddha actually says that you shouldn't believe what he says just because he says it.

Chownah

[Suthep_Steve]

Hi my name is Steve, and I'm a Buddhist.

Sounds like an AA meeting.

I'm currently working on the gradual reduction of desire through an extensive practise of laziness and distraction.

I wanted to become a Buddhist monk in the Tibetan tradition but the girlfriend wouldn't let me.

Marry a Thai Buddhist and that excuse will evaporate ...

Tried that one but the girlfriend was having none of that as well

Come to think of it, can't monks in most Tibetan Buddhist (Gelugpa excepted) marry?

I would say some but not most. The Gelugs ( the root of my tradition ) and the Kagyus have celebate monks. That accounts for a majority I would say. The Sakyas I'm not sure about and the Nyingmas certainly have some married monks although they may have the celebate kind as well.

The Nyingmas aren't (in general) and they're the second largest order, right? I thought I'd read somewhere that only Gelugpa monks were celibate by rule. I did come across this statement on a Kagyu-related website:

Not all lamas are monks or nuns, and celibacy is not a requirement for teaching in most Tibetan Buddhist denominations. However, in the denomination to which His Holiness Dalai Lama belongs, celibacy is the rule.

which seems to indicate a similar notion. Anyway I defer to you, you're the expert here.

So why not change to the Nyingma sect?

Well you can be a Lama with out being a monk (not just the four legged kind either ). One of the most important Gelug lineage Gurus or Lamas was Dromtonpa. He was a lay man who never ordained but was the main teacher after the founder of the Gelug / Kadampa Tradition (Venerable Atisha) passed away.

As for going over to the Nyingmas they are far too bells and smells for me.

[sabaijai]

As for going over to the Nyingmas they are far too bells and smells for me.

[LazyYogi]

I would say some but not most. The Gelugs ( the root of my tradition ) and the Kagyus have celebate monks. That accounts for a majority I would say. The Sakyas I'm not sure about and the Nyingmas certainly have some married monks although they may have the celebate kind as well.

The Nyingmas aren't (in general) and they're the second largest order, right? I thought I'd read somewhere that only Gelugpa monks were celibate by rule. I did come across this statement on a Kagyu-related website:

QUOTE

Not all lamas are monks or nuns, and celibacy is not a requirement for teaching in most Tibetan Buddhist denominations. However, in the denomination to which His Holiness Dalai Lama belongs, celibacy is the rule.

which seems to indicate a similar notion. Anyway I defer to you, you're the expert here.

So why not change to the Nyingma sect?

QUOTE

As for going over to the Nyingmas they are far too bells and smells for me.

Sawatdee khrap,

This is my first post, so I wanted to introduce myself and also dig up the above debate to help clear things a little.

First, let me say that I am a follower of the Nyingma school, particularly the lineage which was taught by H.H. Dudjom Rinpoche.

As far as I know, monks in the Nyingma are fully celibate, just as the fully ordained monks in every school of Vajrayana or Therevada are.

On the other hand, the Nyingma school also has a very strong tradition of non-celibate practicioners, including the long-haired ngakpa (mantra-hurling) yogis and yoginis who take a seperate type of ordination involving a specific set of vows that don't happen to include a vow of celibacy.

If a practicioner's level of realization is determined to be high enough, they would be given the title "lama" by their own root guru and instucted to teach others.

Nyingma lamas can be monks or lay people. They have many monasteries full of life-long monks. I also think it is common for recognized reincarnations of past masters, or "rinpoches", who are born into families of married lamas to enter the monkhood during their youth in order to get a full religious training, and then disrobe and take other (non-celibate) vows when they are older.

The non-celibate Lamas usually still wear a type of robe that might look similar to a monk's robe and this might cause some confusion. In general, if you see a Nyingma lama with a a thick wad of natty dreadlocks tied up in a topknot it's safe to say that they aren't a monk.

The "bells and smells" comment made me laugh a little, too. But isn't every branch of Buddhism full of rituals of one sort or another? Some just don't involve rancid yak butter

So, back to me. I've been reading this forum for about a year, but hadn't got around to posting anything before. Some of the regular posters here are very knowledgeable, and I've been inspired to study more because of it.

I'm currently living in Yokohama, Japan for work, but I'll hopefully be moving back to Thailand in the not-too-distant future.

May all things be auspicious.

[sabaijai]

Welcom, LazyYogi. One of our most regular contributors, Camerata, is in Japan at the moment as well, I believe.

[camerata]

I'm back now. I was only there for 13 days.

[Sheryl]

Do what you won't regret, freedom is yourself respect.-KMFDM

I think most of us here will agree that regret is an empty emotion, but are we looking at that only in regards to ourself? What about when the regret is something that has hurt other people, and maybe continues to hurt other people? Should this emotion be looked at differently now?

What if your family is in a bad place, experiencing hard times, and this is all a result of your decision making? You are accountable are you not? Does regret as an emotion play a different role in this case?

Nice topic and agree it merits its own thread....

Actually I don't think regret as an emotion is anything wrong..in fact, if one never feels regret for a past action it probably means one hasn't increased in understanding at all! At least that's how I comfort myself when I feel guilt or regret: I tell myself it's a sign that I am wiser now than I was back then.

I think the issue is what one does with that emotion. To me, the skillful approach is to have compassion for one's past ignorance, have insight into how/why you did whatever it was, and make a firm vow not to repeat such an action in the future. And perhaps, if it was an action that really harmed others, to make a decision to do whatever one can to make amends...which does not have to be to the person involved (although it can be); it can also be to others with the volition that one wishes to make amends for a past unskillful action.

For example, I grew up in a very troubled, abusive family situation. As a child, I was physically and emotionally abused and I (the oldest of 3 kids) in turn did the same to my younger brothers. I feel great regret for this now. Unfortunately there is no way thus far I can make an amends to my brothers. But I try to take advantage of opportunities that come my way to help troubled young boys and everytime I do, in my mind I feel that this is my amends to my brothers.

For me, the whole remorse/regret/guilt thing is another one of those "middle way" balancing tricks...avoiding the extremes of on the one hand failing to recognize and address wrongs one has committed, and on the other hand wallowing in guilt and/or developing self-hatred.