Wife's birthday tomorrow, kids are off school another teacher day. So say to the wife lets jump in the car head off to the Mun river, have a nice meal and find a resort for the night.

No she says, a monk has died in a nearby village, I would rather go to that Wat. Her birthday and what ever floats her boat.

Figuring that as this is a Wat thing get my kneeling pillow, can't kneel for more than 10 minutes on boards or I won't be getting up.

Wife, you don't need that, get the big blue ice bin. We set off, MIL, kids, but not to the Wat, but town and the bulk supply shop. There we buy boxes of chips, sweets, flavored drinks, water and all manner of junk food in packets, plus fill the ice box. Car [ 7 seat SUV is packed to the roof, hardly enough room left for the MIL and kids.

Off we go to the village, allegedly down the road. Which it is not of course.

Now our village is at the edge of the badlands, no police presents, border soldiers only. They go armed on patrol. After driving dirt road and goat tracks deep into the badlands, we arrive at a small village and the Wat just outside. First thing I notice, border soldiers, not on patrol, but all carrying sidearms, this is bandit country.

We bearing gifts are escorted in , to my surprise it's a full scale party. Stage erected, loud music and even scantily clad dancing girls. A big table is giving to us, there are other tables giving out free noodles , crushed ice drinks etc. The name of our village is written on a big piece of paper and stapled on the table. We unload our goods and a crowd gathers, kids get frightened by the crowd and hide under the table. Boxes are opened and at some unspoken signal it's on. Within minutes everything is gone, no taking a bag of chips and a drink, grab what you can. Even the ice was taken.

Wife was smiling ear to ear, MIL was over the moon, I on the other hand was somewhat confused. I had mistakenly thought we would be giving drinks, chips, biscuits and what not to the people, making merit. In a few minutes near on 4,000 Baht had gone.

A few minutes after all was gone, wife says we can go now. Our village has out done all the others and everyone knows it was us.

Monks get burnt at night, people in the day. MIL and FIL will attend the burning tonight. This will be an incense, chanting and meditating affair, until the sun comes up. Jim

The face BS never did amaze me i must say and im glad i did get away from that scene.

Yes the village know it was you who gave all the goodies. You paid for all but really, what do you get out of it?...The farang will fork out yet again, and no-one will even say as much as a thankyou.

You get to go home empty handed after the freeloader grab up and vacuum everything in site, then probably have to stop off at Tesco on way home and buy another 4000 baht worth for the rest of the vultures, all so your wife can look good again and get her face from your wallet.

Really, im suprised they did not want to "borrow" some fuel from you and syphon out your fuel tank

How you last 10 years of this is beyond me, you must have very deep pockets..i think you and your kind deserve a medal sir!!

Sorry to sound negative but I cant think of anything worse these days, make me to feel glad i am single

make me to feel glad i am single

and it makes me glad that my wife is a Christian!

make me to feel glad i am single

and it makes me glad that my wife is a Christian!

has she got a sister?

Yep - four of them! All awesome but all married sorry!

Well, Jim, you've been living in Isaan twice as long as me and I'll add a bit to your story. The early years passed relatively peacefully, but the last year has brought dramatic changes to my lifestyle. It's all down to one of the wife's uncles, a monk of many years from our village, going up in the world of monastic duties. These days, so far as I can make out due to conflicting stories from family members, he appears to be very high profile, a special monk to the Thai police now based near Bangkok. Like most Thai families with monks in their ranks, my crowd fervently support many of his ceremonial duties all over the country. This involves me driving the family car because brother-in-law, who used to be the driver, now looks after his uncle monk on a full-time basis. I've made many trips over the past year to places around the country, sleeping for days on end at various temples all over the country. Now the monk uncle has a full-time police protection team, so when I'm chauffeuring the family on his tail it's in a police convoy, up to four police cars with flashing lights, wailing sirens and map-cap dashes at high speed through the likes of Bangkok and Chiang Mai as well as hurtling at breakneck speed through sleepy Isaan villages, where our monk performs special ceremonies at temples - like new projects and fund-raising. I fail to understand quite why he's given such special treatment, but after all this is Amazing Thailand - even more amazing in Isaan. I'm not complaining though because it's shaken me out of a very laid-back retirement. The perks like the occasional hotel stay, top class meals in nice restaurants, paid for by the authorities, just because I'm driving part of the monk's family is appreciated.

The face BS never did amaze me i must say and im glad i did get away from that scene.

Yes the village know it was you who gave all the goodies. You paid for all but really, what do you get out of it?...The farang will fork out yet again, and no-one will even say as much as a thankyou.

You get to go home empty handed after the freeloader grab up and vacuum everything in site, then probably have to stop off at Tesco on way home and buy another 4000 baht worth for the rest of the vultures, all so your wife can look good again and get her face from your wallet.

Really, im suprised they did not want to "borrow" some fuel from you and syphon out your fuel tank

How you last 10 years of this is beyond me, you must have very deep pockets..i think you and your kind deserve a medal sir!!

Sorry to sound negative but I cant think of anything worse these days, make me to feel glad i am single

In my case I have no deep pockets, we live here on money earnt here. If the wife wants to spend money up to her. I take a kind off salary from her, 10 grand a week. she pays for everything else. It's her birthday and I pay, not going to kill me if she wants 4 or 5000 Baht. to make merit. She is happy and when she's happy I am happy.

Some people have lives and wives just like in the west, we share the good and bad. Jim

She is happy and when she's happy I am happy.

Some people have lives and wives just like in the west, we share the good and bad. Jim

Well said, Jim!

Yep - four of them! All awesome but all married sorry!

So ?

^ That's one of the many reasons which makes them awesome in my book.

Do not mean to sound too negative either, but some folks (falangs) maybe should realize that they do not need to do all these drive arounds, attend WAT-meetings and spread money around like it is the last day in life.

Thai has their culture and falang have their culture. I myself live up in Isaan too, I try my best to help out to a certain extent, but I have explained that I have my beliefs as a falang and I am taking care of my own family as priority number one... rest is priority number 2......

Sorry do not mean to make anybody angry or exited but sometimes I see far too much here strange behavior from some falangs that think that they actually are thai and have stopped being falang......

Glegolo

Is it rude to say that the story shows the disgusting face of some societies?

Fair play Jim.

I do understand that these kind of experiences are those that make you feel "wow, what was that all about", and whats coming next. Makes life interesting.

I have only stayed home in Thailand for a few years (I escaped the uk in the early 90's, still working around and abouts the world, in no place that I would call home, although Singapore came close (11 years), but aint anything like interesting).

In KL now.

We had a party for my youngest brother in law becoming a monk a few years ago, at the very same time as my birthday and the curfew during riots in BKK. As you will know it was a state of emergency, we were on a hill that over looks Korat to one side and Khao Yai on the other, not far from Wan Nam Khio.

We had about 400 guests, I paid for the lot over about 3 days, dancing girls, a stage the Rolling Stones would have been proud of, countless drinks, pigs and other food. The police turned up about midnight, surrounded the field and had to be fed whiskey and pig, while watching the dacing girls. Plus a contribution of about 4K to the Xmas fund.

All in all, it cost about 150 K baht.

Experience of a life time..........priceless.

It was like a mini Glastonbury, Thai style.

To those that think 4K on an offerring at a party is out over the top......well.......better you stay at home and watch tv. If you haven't got it, you'll never have it.

Would I do it again...................without doubt!

A funeral in our village tonight (which my wife didnt press me to attend since I'm sick) reminded me that one of the joys of living in Issan is actually a joy of dying in Issaan. Where else in the world could I guarantee there to be a crowd of over 200 at my funeral - dancing, drinking and gambling?

It certainly beats morose family members standing around in Yorkshire and muttering things like "nice that tha's seein' 'im off wee 'am" (it's a ham tea for the wake)

Dancing girls and whiskey for the monkhood party... keepin' it real.

I see far too much here strange behavior from some falangs that think that they actually are thai

In defense of some of the married ones, marriage into another culture does require you adapt and participate in each others cultures to some extent and that looks different for every relationship. It doesn't mean you throw away your own culture and become someone else but you certainly love your spouse by doing this. Cross cultural marriages have a unique richness that makes them much better than a single culture marriage in my opinion. I might be a bit biased... *sprints out on a midnight noodle run for wife*

I am not a Buddhist so I do not kneel. No more than would I cross myself if I attended a Mass which many times I have attended. At Buddhist functions where I attend in Isaan, I grab a chair and sit in the back. I do not maintain an extended wai. My main participation is when the head monk sprinkles me with water usually giving me an extra dose.

Also to have 9 containers of blueberry drinking yogurt as purple seems to be a much appreciated offering color.

If I'm told 'I need some money for the tambon' I say: If you want me to go I'll give you e.g. 1000 baht; If I can stay at home I'll give you 2000 baht.

A funeral in our village tonight (which my wife didnt press me to attend since I'm sick) reminded me that one of the joys of living in Issan is actually a joy of dying in Issaan. Where else in the world could I guarantee there to be a crowd of over 200 at my funeral - dancing, drinking and gambling?

It certainly beats morose family members standing around in Yorkshire and muttering things like "nice that tha's seein' 'im off wee 'am" (it's a ham tea for the wake)

That's funny, as I am from Yorkshire, nice one

Thailand puts "fun" in "funeral".

Each to their own, but I do wonder why so many Westerners fund practices that are the complete antithesis of Buddhism e.g. funding "making merit" that is purely for self glorification/recognition for their partner. I suppose keeps the partner happy & that's the priority.

I see far too much here strange behavior from some falangs that think that they actually are thai

In defense of some of the married ones, marriage into another culture does require you adapt and participate in each others cultures to some extent and that looks different for every relationship. It doesn't mean you throw away your own culture and become someone else but you certainly love your spouse by doing this. Cross cultural marriages have a unique richness that makes them much better than a single culture marriage in my opinion. I might be a bit biased... *sprints out on a midnight noodle run for wife*

Thank you, very good answer

Glegolo

Fair play Jim.

I do understand that these kind of experiences are those that make you feel "wow, what was that all about", and whats coming next. Makes life interesting.

I have only stayed home in Thailand for a few years (I escaped the uk in the early 90's, still working around and abouts the world, in no place that I would call home, although Singapore came close (11 years), but aint anything like interesting).

In KL now.

We had a party for my youngest brother in law becoming a monk a few years ago, at the very same time as my birthday and the curfew during riots in BKK. As you will know it was a state of emergency, we were on a hill that over looks Korat to one side and Khao Yai on the other, not far from Wan Nam Khio.

We had about 400 guests, I paid for the lot over about 3 days, dancing girls, a stage the Rolling Stones would have been proud of, countless drinks, pigs and other food. The police turned up about midnight, surrounded the field and had to be fed whiskey and pig, while watching the dacing girls. Plus a contribution of about 4K to the Xmas fund.

All in all, it cost about 150 K baht.

Experience of a life time..........priceless.

It was like a mini Glastonbury, Thai style.

To those that think 4K on an offerring at a party is out over the top......well.......better you stay at home and watch tv. If you haven't got it, you'll never have it.

Would I do it again...................without doubt!

This is something that is REALLY strange in my own eyes. I am convienced that you were "taken on a trip" as so many falang are. Just to pay these enormous amounts for partys is in my own eyes REALLY out of the ballpark as the americans probably would have said!!!

WHY in heavens name should you pay for the party?????? Why dont you, in that case you like to participate and share, just share with the family the cost of this party.... It is really bad when all these falang shows up here spread money around, and leave to believe amongst the thai that this is the way to treat falangs..... money grow up in the tree... 150.000 baht is a pure joke in my eyes, and shows more about you than about thai....

It is the same with that "offering" saying that they "represent" their village and just put up 4-5.000 baht on the table....It is not representing the village it is your own wife without your knowledge that want to show off and show everybody that what a sweatheart she is....Maybe Buddah also observing this and gives her a better next life..... Where you end up that pays for all this ends up, no clue, but probably at the same place as me...

Wake up guys,,,,,asimmilate is NOT to lay down, giving it all up and play dead. Participate, question what you do not understand, and of course help out what you can without losing ALL YOUR FACE by giving away idioticly huge amount of money....

Glegolo

Each to their own, but I do wonder why so many Westerners fund practices that are the complete antithesis of Buddhism e.g. funding "making merit" that is purely for self glorification/recognition for their partner. I suppose keeps the partner happy & that's the priority.

How many Thais and foreigners are practicing textbook Buddhism or even thinking about it? Right or wrong, to a foreigner this looks like a cultural norm so why wouldn't they participate in it if they have no other religious convictions preventing them from doing so?

without losing ALL YOUR FACE by giving away idioticly huge amount of money....

Doesn't giving away huge amounts of money give you face? You certainly lose ThaiVisa face though.

My GF occassionally fleeces my wallet so that she can go 'tambun' at the wat. If The Lord Buddha is really looking down knowing who has made merit, I suspect He is also accutely aware of exactly where the money has come from.

The face BS never did amaze me i must say and im glad i did get away from that scene.

Yes the village know it was you who gave all the goodies. You paid for all but really, what do you get out of it?...The farang will fork out yet again, and no-one will even say as much as a thankyou.

You get to go home empty handed after the freeloader grab up and vacuum everything in site, then probably have to stop off at Tesco on way home and buy another 4000 baht worth for the rest of the vultures, all so your wife can look good again and get her face from your wallet.

Really, im suprised they did not want to "borrow" some fuel from you and syphon out your fuel tank

How you last 10 years of this is beyond me, you must have very deep pockets..i think you and your kind deserve a medal sir!!

Sorry to sound negative but I cant think of anything worse these days, make me to feel glad i am single

Yes, you deserve it.

Jim

You are a straight shooter no doubt. Your candour is easy gleaned from your posts...and appreciated.

But, with respect, and with the exception of viewing new scenery, I find no (social interaction) joy whatsoever from visiting rural Isaan villages.

They are mostly filled with aged, illiterate, and inumerate folks who are constantly on the take. These people spend the bulk of their time gossiping about petty issues, picking their noses, spitting, drinking, and gambling. The remaining village denizens comprise of the snotty nosed toddlers left behind in the care of the drunken grandparents because the fathers have cleared out to avoid any parental burdens, and the mothers are off selling themselves in Patts, Phuket or GrungThep.

Its hot, dirty, dusty...boring...and uncomfortable...and absolutely inevitable that you will be treated as a cash cow.

Pray tell, what is the attraction of being exposed to headlice and tuberculosis?

Lots of people go on about face in Thailand, yes it's different than the west, but how different. Hollywood weddings, million dollar affairs.

Why to people buy big houses in expensive areas, flash cars, designer suits. We may not call it face, but it is just a western version. Showing off that you are better than the guy next door.

As for farangs participating in the local customs, I am not religious, but do Christmas and Easter. So doing a few extra Thai ones is not going to kill me. Have 2 small kids, born in Australia, but we now live in Thailand. They are Thai as well as Australian. They are growing up with Thai culture and I participate as any Thai father would.

On the money front, sometimes think that farangs really believe all Thais are penniless rice farmers. Woman died early last year, son spent around 200.000 on the funeral and party.

Best friend in the village, son graduates university, he takes 15 people to the graduation, 200 km away. Rents a bus, pays for hotel rooms and all the food and booze.

It's the Thai way, those who have pay, change the word face for status Jim

Jim

You are a straight shooter no doubt. Your candour is easy gleaned from your posts...and appreciated.

But, with respect, and with the exception of viewing new scenery, I find no (social interaction) joy whatsoever from visiting rural Isaan villages.

They are mostly filled with aged, illiterate, and inumerate folks who are constantly on the take. These people spend the bulk of their time gossiping about petty issues, picking their noses, spitting, drinking, and gambling. The remaining village denizens comprise of the snotty nosed toddlers left behind in the care of the drunken grandparents because the fathers have cleared out to avoid any parental burdens, and the mothers are off selling themselves in Patts, Phuket or GrungThep.

Its hot, dirty, dusty...boring...and uncomfortable...and absolutely inevitable that you will be treated as a cash cow.

Pray tell, what is the attraction of being exposed to headlice and tuberculosis?

It's my home, where we live an earn our living. I may live in a magical village and see little of the above.

Could also be that I am now part of the village, not a rich farang who comes for a visit.

Lived in many countries and places, but for me this life is better than any I have in the west.

As said in many posts, village life is not for most. Jim

without losing ALL YOUR FACE by giving away idioticly huge amount of money....

Doesn't giving away huge amounts of money give you face? You certainly lose ThaiVisa face though.

Understand Thailand and the culture here is also a good thing. So you talk for the whole forum of THAIVISA now? I can tell you so you know.....To give a away too little money makes you a cheap one, To just give away far too much money makes you a hippocrate and a stupid one. There is a fine line that separates these two observations....Try to understand that.

Glegolo

It's the Thai way, those who have pay

In 8 years in Thailand, 5 of them in Isaan with my wife, I've never paid out any money for anything except the household budget and the rare treats for kid's birthdays etc. There's good reason for this; I don't have money to burn. I've always made this clear and as a result nobody - in or out of family - have asked me for any. The money the family give in the name of Buddha comes from their own pockets.