Fiancee Wants Salary

[mikemellow]

I am wondering if it is normal for a Thai lady to require a salary to be engaged and also after marriage. My fiancée does not seem to appreciate that I pay for all her needs and also pay for travel that she would never experience without me or another boyfriend paying. She keeps telling me she is very concerned about her future and putting money into her bank. She is not asking for a lot maybe just 2,000 or 3,000 baht a month but I am concerned that this is opening the door to other future problems. She is threatening to go back to work which would take up most of her time as when she works she makes a very small salary that ends up taking up most of her time. Has anybody here had any similar experiences? I really do not know how to handle this problem that we have and when she starts in on me it is non stop nagging which drives me crazy. I could really use some help.

[TommoPhysicist]

Standard Employee contract

Number of shags per week, mandatory termination if quota not met..

Maximum weight before mandatory termination.

Built-in reduction in wage as her assets depreciate.

Your right to use short-term temps in event of her unable to perform duties due to sickness.

One months notice on either side.

If it's a business, she needs a contract!

On the other hand, nagging ........ just dump her or buy yourself an ipod plus earphones.

More seriously

This is the marriage and divorce forum, I really can't see marriage as a way forward for your relationship.

Edited February 1, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[transam]

The key point in your post is ''She is worried about her future''.

[Hedghog]

Time for a change.

[Gary A]

I see absolutely nothing wrong with giving her some spending money. Unless you are a dominating type,you should not mind if she has a little money in her pocket. A thousand baht per week will make her feel like she has some independence rather than depending on being with you 24/7.

[transam]

But me thinking about it, do you give her money for her pocket ?, It's a Thai thing that the lady pays for stuff, not the guy. At Tesco's cos l pay with a card my mrs disappears. .

[uptheos]

"problem that we have and when she starts in on me it is non stop nagging which drives me crazy".

And it's a hard decision?

Or would you prefer to spend your life with a nagger and go crazy?

[simple1]

The key point in your post is ''She is worried about her future''.

Exactly. If you were living with your fiance in your home country would she not be working so she can support herself? In your current situation do you think she is be happy to ask you for money every time she needs something or wants to go shopping. Give her a living allowance so she can have some self respect. Also unless you have already committed to some arrangement, would your future wife in the West accept having zero financial security; look at the issue from her perspective.

[alfieconn]

I give my wife a bit of money every month for her to buy her girlie things and do whats she wants with it, no problem ! put yourself in her shoes and how would you feel if you had to ask her for a bit of money every couple of days, also i couldn't imagine any housewife in the western world not having a bit of money in her purse.

Edited February 1, 2013 by alfieconn

[maturebrit]

sounds like the thin end of the wedge.....salary.... for a Fiance....time to get rid

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[Hedghog]

If she wants only spending money.

Let her go back to work and earn it.

Same as most other peple have to do.

[alfieconn]

Looks like its settled, 25,000 baht per month it is then

[transam]

Looks like its settled, 25,000 baht per month it is then

I'll be his boy eeer girl friend for that.

[GarryP]

I think you need to get yourself a dog, not a girlfriend/fiancee.

[MegaRanter]

1. If you are going to stop her from working for peanuts, then you should pay her the peanuts.
   

[ragamuffin]

Wakey-wakey?!

Honestly, do you consider this a normal relationship o_O?

[diddums]

Giver her 5k a month ya miserable sod...less than a burmese maid.

[BEENTHEREDONETHAT]

Seems to me like she should not have to ask every time she needs something. 2,000 a week would seem like a reasonable amount. How would you like to be broke and have to ask every time you needed or wanted something? Treat her like you would like to be treated if positions were changed.

[transam]

I think you need to get yourself a dog, not a girlfriend/fiancee.

[Choonpon]

Its called pocket money, not salary..

2000 baht a month is not much if you intend to make her your permanent partner. But the nagging part...you better make your stand clear as the man of the house, or else the naggings' going to get worse. I am a woman too;)

[simple1]

Its called pocket money, not salary..

2000 baht a month is not much if you intend to make her your permanent partner. But the nagging part...you better make your stand clear as the man of the house, or else the naggings' going to get worse. I am a woman too;)

As you're a woman wouldn't you have already walked away from someone with OP's attitude?

[mikemellow]

Its called pocket money, not salary..

2000 baht a month is not much if you intend to make her your permanent partner. But the nagging part...you better make your stand clear as the man of the house, or else the naggings' going to get worse. I am a woman too;)

As you're a woman wouldn't you have already walked away from someone with OP's attitude?

NO she want a salary in addition to the pocket money I give to her and paying all the expenses ,,,, she wants to move money from my bank to her bank. Probably I think to give to the next boyfriend???

[simple1]

Its called pocket money, not salary..

2000 baht a month is not much if you intend to make her your permanent partner. But the nagging part...you better make your stand clear as the man of the house, or else the naggings' going to get worse. I am a woman too;)

As you're a woman wouldn't you have already walked away from someone with OP's attitude?

NO she want a salary in addition to the pocket money I give to her and paying all the expenses ,,,, she wants to move money from my bank to her bank. Probably I think to give to the next boyfriend???

Putting a positive spin on the situation maybe she needs to support members of her family/children, common in Thailand.

[candypants]

Its called pocket money, not salary..

2000 baht a month is not much if you intend to make her your permanent partner. But the nagging part...you better make your stand clear as the man of the house, or else the naggings' going to get worse. I am a woman too;)

As you're a woman wouldn't you have already walked away from someone with OP's attitude?

NO she want a salary in addition to the pocket money I give to her and paying all the expenses ,,,, she wants to move money from my bank to her bank. Probably I think to give to the next boyfriend???

as you seem to neither respect nor trust the woman, why not cut her loose?

[Choonpon]

Its called pocket money, not salary..

2000 baht a month is not much if you intend to make her your permanent partner. But the nagging part...you better make your stand clear as the man of the house, or else the naggings' going to get worse. I am a woman too;)

As you're a woman wouldn't you have already walked away from someone with OP's attitude?

OP doesn't sound like an unreasonable man. Furthermore I will not walk away from my man just because of money issue.

[Choonpon]

Its called pocket money, not salary..

2000 baht a month is not much if you intend to make her your permanent partner. But the nagging part...you better make your stand clear as the man of the house, or else the naggings' going to get worse. I am a woman too;)

As you're a woman wouldn't you have already walked away from someone with OP's attitude?

NO she want a salary in addition to the pocket money I give to her and paying all the expenses ,,,, she wants to move money from my bank to her bank. Probably I think to give to the next boyfriend???

Hmm...salary on top of pocket money does sound weird. From what you described she could be after $$ and not your love. Time to give a serious thought..

[Boo]

It sounds as if it was it at your insistence that she gave up work? If yes then it is only fair that you provide her with a small amount of pin money every month or week, how else is she supposed to buy her personal items. How does she know that after a period of time you dump her & she is left with nothing more than some travel experiences & a few gifts?

[punch]

Sounds just like my X.

Get out of this relationship. If she is worried about her finacial future then she is not seeing you in it. If you ever have a kid with her it will get even worse.

[Naam]

NO she want a salary in addition to the pocket money I give to her and paying all the expenses ,,,, she wants to move money from my bank to her bank. Probably I think to give to the next boyfriend???

how much pocket money are you giving???

[SteeleJoe]

Its called pocket money, not salary..

2000 baht a month is not much if you intend to make her your permanent partner. But the nagging part...you better make your stand clear as the man of the house, or else the naggings' going to get worse. I am a woman too;)

As you're a woman wouldn't you have already walked away from someone with OP's attitude?

NO she want a salary in addition to the pocket money I give to her and paying all the expenses ,,,, she wants to move money from my bank to her bank. Probably I think to give to the next boyfriend???

<deleted>?

You think she nags unrelentingly on this issue.

You think she wants an excessive amount of money for savings (a paltry 2,000 p/mo).

You Think she is probably trying to get this money to give to her next boyfriend.

Sounds like an excellent basis for successful marriage...

[Can't believe no one has suspected trollification yet.]

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Edited February 2, 2013 by SteeleJoe