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Fiancee Wants Salary


mikemellow

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Realistically, no relationship will last forever. She wants some savings money for when things go south (which they inevitably will).

There are a number of reasons to give her some savings money:

1) If the relationship (or marriage, if it gets that far) does go bad, it will be less paid for you knowing she has money to move on.

2) There will be less stress on the relationship because she is comfortable with her future, with or without you.

3) If the relationship continues "for ever", you will be happy knowing that you have left her with sufficient money for the rest of her life when you "pass on".

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I think you need to get yourself a dog, not a girlfriend/fiancee.

With the added information the OP has provided, I would like to rephrase my previous post.

"You would be better off with a dog"

Seriously, if the pocket money is commensurate with her former income, then she should not need any more if you are paying for everything. On ther other hand, if it is less then perhaps you should increase the pocket money to the same level. I do not see any problem with her having her own bank account. Perhaps insecurity on both sides of the relationship, methinks.

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If she is not working and relying solely on you and taking care of you and the house, cant see why not give her some money. she does need some independence. Cant be nice having to ask every time she wants something. 2-3000 per month seems a good deal for you.

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To expand on my post -- I showed the post to her and she said " NO NO I want 10,000 Baht into my (her) bank from your (my) bank each month". I had thought she wanted 3000. And also to respond to all the replies about pocket money -- I keep her purse full of spending money and she does not have to beg to buy her girl needs. And to the posters yes I agree that giving her travel is for my benefit but do you not agree that a Thai lady will also benefit from travel and learning about other cultures? Mike

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To expand on my post -- I showed the post to her and she said " NO NO I want 10,000 Baht into my (her) bank from your (my) bank each month". I had thought she wanted 3000. And also to respond to all the replies about pocket money -- I keep her purse full of spending money and she does not have to beg to buy her girl needs. And to the posters yes I agree that giving her travel is for my benefit but do you not agree that a Thai lady will also benefit from travel and learning about other cultures? Mike

Mike,

i agree that 10k on top of a reasonable amount of pocket money seems an "odd" demand. but you are dodging the question "how much pocket money?"

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I think it is definitely time to call it quits qith this relationship. It has turned into a kind of auction.

Next time if you expect someone to give up work it may be a good idea to negotiate an amount (Probaby about half f her former salary is fair all round) si that she can meet all her commitment and be with you full time. At the same time stress that this covers all demands for family and friends and her basic clothing and ordinary costs. You pay for all food and accomodation.

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Im surprised at all the posters here who have a good Thai girlfriend that doesnt get a salary or doesnt get any money from their fellas.

I'll hazard a guess and throw it out there. These guys are probably the same people that bought a house for an ex wife in their native land. Gave the wife the gold AMEX. Also paid Child support for longer than the relationship lasted for and got sex once a month. But hear they are in Lievisa forum stating its preposterous that someone gives their spouse a few hundred dollars a month. To the OP splash out on your partner if she makes you happy, dont hold back, don't listen to the bitter old men that have been burnt before.

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Im surprised at all the posters here who have a good Thai girlfriend that doesnt get a salary or doesnt get any money from their fellas.

I'll hazard a guess and throw it out there. These guys are probably the same people that bought a house for an ex wife in their native land. Gave the wife the gold AMEX. Also paid Child support for longer than the relationship lasted for and got sex once a month. But hear they are in Lievisa forum stating its preposterous that someone gives their spouse a few hundred dollars a month. To the OP splash out on your partner if she makes you happy, dont hold back, don't listen to the bitter old men that have been burnt before.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm, coffee1.gif Don't think you have any idea what goes on here. sad.png
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Im surprised at all the posters here who have a good Thai girlfriend that doesnt get a salary or doesnt get any money from their fellas.

I'll hazard a guess and throw it out there. These guys are probably the same people that bought a house for an ex wife in their native land. Gave the wife the gold AMEX. Also paid Child support for longer than the relationship lasted for and got sex once a month. But hear they are in Lievisa forum stating its preposterous that someone gives their spouse a few hundred dollars a month. To the OP splash out on your partner if she makes you happy, dont hold back, don't listen to the bitter old men that have been burnt before.

Only the very lucky avoided making the mistakes you listed.

Some of us can learn from our mistakes.

Others are doomed to repeat them.

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Im surprised at all the posters here who have a good Thai girlfriend that doesnt get a salary or doesnt get any money from their fellas.

I'll hazard a guess and throw it out there. These guys are probably the same people that bought a house for an ex wife in their native land. Gave the wife the gold AMEX. Also paid Child support for longer than the relationship lasted for and got sex once a month. But hear they are in Lievisa forum stating its preposterous that someone gives their spouse a few hundred dollars a month. To the OP splash out on your partner if she makes you happy, dont hold back, don't listen to the bitter old men that have been burnt before.

Hmmmmmmmmmmm, coffee1.gif Don't think you have any idea what goes on here. sad.png

Yes you are correct, Ill retract what I said straight away. To the OP, don't give her anything she doesn't deserve it. Make her mop the floors or get a real job. If she doesnt like it then get yourself a western woman that are fare more attractive and cheaper in the long run :)
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Im surprised at all the posters here who have a good Thai girlfriend that doesnt get a salary or doesnt get any money from their fellas.

I'll hazard a guess and throw it out there. These guys are probably the same people that bought a house for an ex wife in their native land. Gave the wife the gold AMEX. Also paid Child support for longer than the relationship lasted for and got sex once a month. But hear they are in Lievisa forum stating its preposterous that someone gives their spouse a few hundred dollars a month. To the OP splash out on your partner if she makes you happy, dont hold back, don't listen to the bitter old men that have been burnt before.

Only the very lucky avoided making the mistakes you listed.

Some of us can learn from our mistakes.

Others are doomed to repeat them.

Call me lucky then :)
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I dont know what the complete circumstances are, so will not comment on OP.

My wife needs to work and get her own income to feel good, be confident and feel not just to be a burdon, to have her independance. I dont think there is anything wrong with that.

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

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Two things wrong with a spouse that doesn't have a job:

1) Bringing in no money

2) Too much time on their hands to spend it.

But anyone taking relationship advice from me is a fool...

As for matching the money she used to make, I have found that hanging out with wealthier people costs a lot more than hanging out with poorer people. I suspect she spends a lot more to hang out with a foreigner than she used to spend prior to said foreigner.

If you don't want her to go back to work and take the time away from you, how will she afford to hang out with you (pocket money) and make any additional financial arrangements for activities that don't involve you, (plus her future)?

Mind you, what those activities are is a whole different topic. May just be familial obligations and may be deeper than that...

Edited by impulse
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There are very few 'employee' unskilled jobs in Thailand that aren't 12 hrs/day, 6 days/ week (or more).

Bank and government jobs are different but you need qualifications, and they are harder to get.

Not much fun being with a girl only 1 day a week (unless you have 5 or 6 girls with different days off).

Edited by TommoPhysicist
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Gee, ordinary Thai men and woman seem to manage their working lives and relationships together with those kinds of schedules...

And, how much "skills" does it take for a Thai woman to work as a cashier, or hotel maid, or waitress etc., where part-time employment is certainly possible.

But I guess if the man is looking for a full-time domestic bar-girl, then he should expect to pay accordingly.

I lived most of my life prior to coming to Thailand working 12 hour days in a very demanding profession. And I wasn't the only one. Somehow, couples managed to make good lives out of it.

Here, of course, finding a mate who isn't "unskilled" and instead has some skills and employment prospects is probably something to consider when looking.

Edited by TallGuyJohninBKK
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I am wondering if it is normal for a Thai lady to require a salary to be engaged and also after marriage. My fiancée does not seem to appreciate that I pay for all her needs and also pay for travel that she would never experience without me or another boyfriend paying. She keeps telling me she is very concerned about her future and putting money into her bank. She is not asking for a lot maybe just 2,000 or 3,000 baht a month but I am concerned that this is opening the door to other future problems. She is threatening to go back to work which would take up most of her time as when she works she makes a very small salary that ends up taking up most of her time. Has anybody here had any similar experiences? I really do not know how to handle this problem that we have and when she starts in on me it is non stop nagging which drives me crazy. I could really use some help.

Sucks to be you..

The moment you go broke I think that'll be the moment this girl will leave you for another man. :(

It's just my opinion, I prefer my girl working, and we can manage our time together.

Thai girls like saving up for their family. They rip you off and send those money back to their relatives and families. (Not all, some.. )

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If she worries about her future, then she is not talking about pocket money. She may also have a gambling problem, or old debts, that you know nothing about, and the debt will keep growing, until its paid off. Im sure if she sends money to family, you already know about that, but if its for other reasons, be careful.

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I am wondering if it is normal for a Thai lady to require a salary to be engaged and also after marriage. My fiancée does not seem to appreciate that I pay for all her needs and also pay for travel that she would never experience without me or another boyfriend paying. She keeps telling me she is very concerned about her future and putting money into her bank. She is not asking for a lot maybe just 2,000 or 3,000 baht a month but I am concerned that this is opening the door to other future problems. She is threatening to go back to work which would take up most of her time as when she works she makes a very small salary that ends up taking up most of her time. Has anybody here had any similar experiences? I really do not know how to handle this problem that we have and when she starts in on me it is non stop nagging which drives me crazy. I could really use some help./endquote

Listen to your heart and more importantly listen to your own judgment. It is not too late to loose them pink shades my friendcool.png

Edited by Dancealot
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Two things wrong with a spouse that doesn't have a job:

one thing wrong with a husband who let's his wife work for others instead of taking care of her husband whistling.gif

it's of course a different situation if the wife's income is required to make a reasonably comfortable living.

edit:

when i made a similar statement in Thaivisa (Ladies' Forum) several years ago this was one of the react reactions:

working%20wives.jpg

And Sir Naam really iswai.gif

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Salary hahaha. Its my 2nd wedding anniversary tommorow never thought we would get here but we did.

If the missus wants something then she spends her own money or I help out and I am quickly paid back not that Im fussed.

If she asked me for a salary I would say thanks for the memories, on your bike unless I had my own business and she was working for the company.

Paying a salary hmmm.

Oh well each to his or her own. Best of luck.

jambco984

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And Sir Naam really iswai.gif

that's what my [then] fiancée thought 36 years ago. now, after >33 years of marriage, i'm not so sure what she thinks.

av-11672.gif

I reckon it is normal during marriage her perception of the former 'knight on the horse' gradually morphs into this:

post-70928-0-48560000-1359804132_thumb.j

But she still loves youtongue.png

Edited by Dancealot
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Two things wrong with a spouse that doesn't have a job:

one thing wrong with a husband who let's his wife work for others instead of taking care of her husband whistling.gif

it's of course a different situation if the wife's income is required to make a reasonably comfortable living.

I already had one Mommy, and I don't really want (or need) another one to take care of me.

I'm all growed up now and can wipe my own nose and clean my own clothes, even working 80 hours a week.

It would be different with kids...

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