Nuna Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 It seems that I have been labeled as a rude poster due to my previous posts. Having had some bad experience always results in such attitudes and I am sorry for that. Anyway, instead of thinking in negative way I will find solution and melt down the conflict for this. According to the topic "westerner behavior towards thai women" I talked about my bad past experience and it seems that history has just repeated itself a few minutes ago. But I won't go into the detail because it can't help anything. 1. Should I never smile? Recently, I decided to stop smiling then I got loads of the same question "Are you alright?" smiling = flirtatious not smiling= something wrong It makes me confused. Or I should learn how to smile like Mona Lisa. 2. Can I make a joke with them? As you can see that my English is not perfect so making a joke is the way to exercise my skill. For language practice, I really rely on BBC Drama and I never had foreign friends because it's quite awkward to hang out with when you know the way they thinking about you. 3. Only calm face can gain respect? Thank you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inthepink Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Who are you smiling , or not smiling at? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommoPhysicist Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 (edited) Don't go to places (establishments or roads) that are frequented by prostitutes. Don't talk to foreigners socially and don't hang around foreigners or places they socialize. Don't speak to any man that hasn't been formally introduced to you by a family member. Keep your shoulders and breasts covered in pubic places. If you follow these rules you will never have problems with foreigners. Every respectable Thai lady knows these rules, so why don't you? Just wondering? Edited February 1, 2013 by TommoPhysicist Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inthepink Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 (edited) ^ Rules from the 1950s maybe? (Except keeping your breasts covered in public - I believe that is common in most developed or developing nations around the world) Edited February 1, 2013 by inthepink Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommoPhysicist Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 ^ Rules from the 1950s maybe? In many ways Thailand's society still acts as if they are in the 1950s, step outside their moral guidelines at your own risk. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post I Like Thai Posted February 1, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted February 1, 2013 Text from an Irish home economics textbook from the 1960's. This is how to keep an Irishman happy http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=105x1746098 TO BE A PROPER WIFE---- Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return from work. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up school books, toys, papers etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables. During the colder months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax. Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Don't greet him with complaints and problems. Don't complain if he's late home for dinner, or even stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange the pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. Once he has had a chance to have his evening meal clear the dishes and wash up promptly. If your husband should offer to help decline his offer as he may feel obliged to repeat this offer and after a long working day he does not need the extra work. Encourage your husband to pursue his hobbies and interests and be supportive without seeming to encroach. If you have any little hobbies yourself try not to bore him speaking of these, as women's interests are often rather trivial compared to men's. At the end of the evening tidy the home ready for the morning and again think ahead to his breakfast needs. Your husband's breakfast is vital if he is to face the outside world in a positive fashion. Once you have both retired to the bedroom prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be lead by your husband's wishes, do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then accede humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches his moment of fulfillment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had. Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices, be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night time face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea >ready when he awakes. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kennedy Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 If you rely on BBC drama for language skills. both of us would be confused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
loong Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 I guess that you should behave toward foreigners the same was as you would towards a Thai man. I have Thai people smile at me often when out and about, young, old, men and women. When young ladies want to speak a few words with me, I don't read anything into it apart from friendliness. But then again I am not looking for the services of a prostitute. If you are working in a tourist area, then I can understand your frustration if your intentions are mistaken. You have to understand though, in places like Pattaya, a farang man can be approached a 100 times a day by working girls. It gets so that we can think that every woman with a smile and a "hello" is looking for business. 99.9% of them are. Sorry, but I have no suggestions how you would be able to subtly make it clear that you are not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eek Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Im sorry you have to go through that Nuna. If a work situation then unfortunately its not easy, but, for everyday situations, if a man takes your smile as something more, why not politely chastize him. You could do a lot of other Thai women good service too if you do that. Just something along the lines of "excuse me? You think my returning a friendly smile means (whatever you think)? Frankly you should be ashamed of yourself. Learn to be a gentleman". You may end up getting tired of this of course though, but just an idea. Maybe they will tell their friends of this encounter and you can try..at least in a small way..maybe change a mindset of some men here. If more Thai women spoke up in this way, those men would then get themselves a bit of a reality check! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TommoPhysicist Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Im sorry you have to go through that Nuna. If a work situation then unfortunately its not easy, but, for everyday situations, if a man takes your smile as something more, why not politely chastize him. You could do a lot of other Thai women good service too if you do that. Just something along the lines of "excuse me? You think my returning a friendly smile means (whatever you think)? Frankly you should be ashamed of yourself. Learn to be a gentleman". You may end up getting tired of this of course though, but just an idea. Maybe they will tell their friends of this encounter and you can try..at least in a small way..maybe change a mindset of some men here. If more Thai women spoke up in this way, those men would then get themselves a bit of a reality check! Or they would just think met another nut job today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thongkorn Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Depends where you find your lady, If in a bar, up to you, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Payboy Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 (edited) Keep your shoulders and breasts covered in pubic places. Neat trick that, if it can be done. Edited February 2, 2013 by Payboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forumuser10 Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 I only saw your other post "westerner behavior towards thai women", and as I remember, it was not rude at all. Thai women smile and giggle a lot, and when that is done to a western man, he will take that as an invitation to flirt with you. And in most western countries, women do not do this to us, so as soon as we arrive here in Thailand, and we see all these smiles and giggles, we go nuts. We think we are in heaven. We think we are rock stars/celebrities, it makes us full of self esteem. There is a reason why so many guys want to live here instead of in the west. So if you do not smile, sometimes, the western guy will still approach you and try to flirt, especially the newly arrived guys, cause they are in flirt mode when they are in Thailand. Remember, after years of not being able to flirt, simply cause many (most female would not accept such a behavior from a non attractive average Joe guy) in their home country, they are starving for some flirty interaction with females. So do NOT smile, and if they still do not get the hint, and still try to flirt, just tell calm and politely, "I am not interested in you, thank you, bye". And do NOT smile, or giggle. If you are serious enough and tell them politely to "stop harassing me", "please leave, you are not handsome", they WILL get the hint. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richardjm65 Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 Text from an Irish home economics textbook from the 1960's. This is how to keep an Irishman happy http://www.democrati...ess=105x1746098 TO BE A PROPER WIFE---- Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return from work. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed. Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work weary people. Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it. Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Gather up school books, toys, papers etc. and then run a dustcloth over the tables. During the colder months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him. Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first, remember his topics of conversation are more important than yours. Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure and his very real need to be at home and relax. Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit. Don't greet him with complaints and problems. Don't complain if he's late home for dinner, or even stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange the pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice. Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. Once he has had a chance to have his evening meal clear the dishes and wash up promptly. If your husband should offer to help decline his offer as he may feel obliged to repeat this offer and after a long working day he does not need the extra work. Encourage your husband to pursue his hobbies and interests and be supportive without seeming to encroach. If you have any little hobbies yourself try not to bore him speaking of these, as women's interests are often rather trivial compared to men's. At the end of the evening tidy the home ready for the morning and again think ahead to his breakfast needs. Your husband's breakfast is vital if he is to face the outside world in a positive fashion. Once you have both retired to the bedroom prepare yourself for bed as promptly as possible. Whilst feminine hygiene is of the utmost importance your tired husband does not want to queue for the bathroom as he would have to do for his train. But remember to look your best when going to bed. Try to achieve a look that is welcoming without being obvious. If you need to apply face-cream or hair-rollers wait until he is asleep as this can be shocking to a man last thing at night. When it comes to the possibility of intimate relations with your husband it is important to remember your marriage vows and in particular your commitment to obey him. If he feels that he needs to sleep immediately then so be it. In all things be lead by your husband's wishes, do not pressure him in any way to stimulate intimacy. Should your husband suggest congress then accede humbly all the while being mindful that a man's satisfaction is more important than a woman's. When he reaches his moment of fulfillment a small moan from yourself is encouraging to him and quite sufficient to indicate any enjoyment that you may have had. Should your husband suggest any of the more unusual practices, be obedient and uncomplaining but register any reluctance by remaining silent. It is likely that your husband will then fall promptly asleep so adjust your clothing, freshen up and apply your night time face and hair care products. You may then set the alarm so that you can arise shortly before him in the morning. This will enable you to have his morning cup of tea >ready when he awakes. In my opinion, these instructions cannot be bettered and with a couple of minor alterations should be translated into Thai, Lao, and Cambodian by one of the better male translators, and must then be adopted by our Great Country's educators to become part of the girl's (and perhaps trainee lady boys and homosexuals) educational curriculum. It would make the trials and tribulations of being a man, just that little bit easier to bear. For those youngsters who missed out on an education, pamphlets should be made available to service staff at all bars and also at factories and maid recruitment offices. When I think of how many poor souls have to come home after a hard day of fishing, (hunting), or the occasional game of golf, (gathering), to find that there's no beer on ice, the barbecue isn't even lit and the meat not even trimmed and seasoned nor the vegetables prepared, it makes me sick - it's nothing short of a national disgrace! If this country is serious about attracting and keeping valuable foreigners, it would be wise for the powers that be to wake up, smell the coffee and roses and make it a more attractive place for us to visit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forumuser10 Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 If this country is serious about attracting and keeping valuable foreigners, it would be wise for the powers that be to wake up, smell the coffee and roses and make it a more attractive place for us to visit. I smell a little sarcasm here, but anyway. I think this is a huge problem here, many of us, think we are a little TOO important here, and I have to admit, the way Thais treat us, it is easy to feel superior. And that makes us also convinced that we are very attractive superstars, when in fact many of us know, we are not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
forumuser10 Posted February 2, 2013 Share Posted February 2, 2013 If you are working in a tourist area, then I can understand your frustration if your intentions are mistaken. You have to understand though, in places like Pattaya, a farang man can be approached a 100 times a day by working girls. It gets so that we can think that every woman with a smile and a "hello" is looking for business. 99.9% of them are. Sorry, but I have no suggestions how you would be able to subtly make it clear that you are not The suggestion is, be polite, but act as if you know you are more worth than the foreigner, and then tell him "please behave, and please understand I am not interested in you". That WILL make most men understand, and if not, just continue to be calm, and tell him again, "please, I am not interested, go away". Unless the foreigner has a mental problem, he WILL understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post HardenedSoul Posted February 3, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted February 3, 2013 Nuna should just be herself. A person can't be expected to walk around with a permanent grin on their face. If you feel like smiling, smile. If you don't, then don't. If men approach you asking if you're ok when you're not smiling, just say "yeah, I'm fine thanks" and shut it down. You can't please everyone. Also, consider this: if you went out to party one night, spent time and effort making yourself look attractive and not one man approached or looked at you, you'd feel pretty awful. The point is that when it comes to attractiveness, it's better have it and not need it than to need it and not have it. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richard_smith237 Posted February 3, 2013 Share Posted February 3, 2013 Text from an Irish home economics textbook from the 1960's. This is how to keep an Irishman happy http://www.democrati...ess=105x1746098 TO BE A PROPER WIFE---- WOW.... That backfired... I sent that link to my Wife... she replied with this link: http://agoodhusband.net/2008/02/10-ways-to-be-a-good-husband/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DocN Posted February 5, 2013 Share Posted February 5, 2013 Go where you wanna go, be who you wanna be, behave, likee you think is okay for you. As everywhere else, you will meet nice persons, stupid persons, arrogant persons, nice persosn...or just plain and simpl @$$holes. There is no recipe. Just be yourself... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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