Failed Relationships And Repeating Past Mistakes...

[welsh1]

God give us 2 heads, but not enough blood to operate the the 2 at the same time !

[rene123]

God give us 2 heads, but not enough blood to operate the the 2 at the same time !

And us gals know it and can use it to our advantage. What we lack in physical strength we make up for in mental ability. There is a reason why they call it the "War of the sexes".

[tartempion]

I did not have failed relationships in Europe/America in my 55 years living there.

Now 11 years in Thailand and her family is getting at me.

18 months ago paid 140k for her brother who screwed up his life (his 15 years younger woman left him 3 months after the birth of their baby girl which is now in our custody) to get a job in Taiwan. He promised to pay us (me) in monthly installments, payments stopped many months ago after repaying 57k.

2013 she has a gambling addicted sister who got herself deeper and deeper in the shit.

Gave 30k "advance" two years ago to buy windows, doors and a floor for her "dump (house)" Never got one baht back because all her earning go to gambling (which I was not aware of at that time)

Paid 30k this week to undo death threats from the loan sharks (parents and other family members already loaned her the little they had)

Thus now the rich farang is expected to save the sister, since the rest of the family don't have funds left.

That 30k is only the top of the iceberg, the death threat part)

We had a discussion last night where the wife proposed to sell (and give back) whatever I gave her and return living from nothing with her family, to undo the burden brought upon me by the sister and rest of family. (be assured other members are in need and deserve more than the gambling bitch)

It seems I don't want to be "yndee" for her family members and she needs to make choices....

She also advises all farangs to stay away from relationship with ""lower level" Thai females unless they have no parents, brothers, sisters, uncles, nieces and CHILDREN.

I guess she is right, but farangs will continue to make this mistake for ever

[rct99q]

Two of the first words we learn as a child are "yes" and "no" (besides mommy and daddy), yet we fail to use them correctly and in the right situation. A lot of times we say "yes" when we should be saying "no" and vice versa.

But we train ourselves (and others) in our actions not so much by our words. My son is always dropping bits of food on the floor (we eat outside) for the dogs to nibble on, yet he strikes out at them when they come sniffing around him all during dinner.

You provide your wife or husband with a big house, gold, fancy watches, cars, big screen T.V. and other luxury items because he or she wants them but then when the "sister in law" who racks up debt due to some addiction comes asking for money you say no or you pay and are not happy about it.

Your wife's advice in regards to not marrying a Thai person who has extended family is wrong. Your discussion with your future partner in what you are both looking for in a relationship BEFORE you get married is important. My family consists of over 33 people (and counting), my wife and I described to each other what we wanted out of our relationship in the beginning. Low and behold many of the things we discussed were common for both of us.

Bailing out our Aunt who has racked up 700,000 baht in debt was, believe it or not, discussed and we both agreed many years ago not to provide financial assistance but to provide other support if needed. Guess what? We get very few (2, in 4 years) request for money from a "desperate" family member. But we will still provide a place to sleep, food, transportation needs for the children, school supplies, school clothes, etc if needed.

Of course mistakes will be made, that is what makes us Human. Many times we do repeat them, that also makes us Human. Not learning from these mistakes, well even my dogs have learnt not to come around the table now when we are eating.....I guess that makes them more "Human" than some people.

[rene123]

That is a terrible story, tartemption, and I can see the problems that you face. Nobody wants to be seen as the "bad guy" who won't help someone in need.

However, I do believe that rct99q has the answer. Sometimes you just have to play hardball. A free bed and a meal, but no money. If the thugs "execute" their revenge then there is nothing you could logically do anyway. People have to accept the consequences of their own actions even if it means their own life they lose.

[thaibeachlovers]

I did not have failed relationships in Europe/America in my 55 years living there.

Now 11 years in Thailand and her family is getting at me.

18 months ago paid 140k for her brother who screwed up his life (his 15 years younger woman left him 3 months after the birth of their baby girl which is now in our custody) to get a job in Taiwan. He promised to pay us (me) in monthly installments, payments stopped many months ago after repaying 57k.

2013 she has a gambling addicted sister who got herself deeper and deeper in the shit.

Gave 30k "advance" two years ago to buy windows, doors and a floor for her "dump (house)" Never got one baht back because all her earning go to gambling (which I was not aware of at that time)

Paid 30k this week to undo death threats from the loan sharks (parents and other family members already loaned her the little they had)

Thus now the rich farang is expected to save the sister, since the rest of the family don't have funds left.

That 30k is only the top of the iceberg, the death threat part)

We had a discussion last night where the wife proposed to sell (and give back) whatever I gave her and return living from nothing with her family, to undo the burden brought upon me by the sister and rest of family. (be assured other members are in need and deserve more than the gambling bitch)

It seems I don't want to be "yndee" for her family members and she needs to make choices....

She also advises all farangs to stay away from relationship with ""lower level" Thai females unless they have no parents, brothers, sisters, uncles, nieces and CHILDREN.

I guess she is right, but farangs will continue to make this mistake for ever

Sounds like it's time to move, far far away, or continue to pay and pay and pay.

Just ask yourself what would happen if you ( or another rich farang ) hadn't joined the family?

You could always give the money to your wife, and tell her that if she wants to, she can give it to the ones with problems, but that whatever you gave her gets deducted from whatever you normally give her. Just a lump sum in advance.

[jij]

The only thing we learn from history, is that we never learn anything from history.