Respect .

[mrtoad]

At 10.30 pm , I receive a txt , saying sorry I miss dinner with you , love you very much . for me this was too little too late .

Quote from the OP above ^

She was probably doing some other guy mate. Wake up.

Must admit the ''Love you very much'' clinches it for me. Same as ''You hansum man'' , sweetener:( .

Yeah, she was getting her meat and two veg somewhere else

[chickenslegs]

You can shoot me down in flames, don't care, but from my perspective and what l have witnessed, an older guy taking a young bird to farangland is a mistake. LOS is soon forgotten (except the family) and new ventures (cash) by what ever means are soon revealed.

But the OP's wife is at least in her late 30's, maybe 40-ish.

[cardholder]

The OP has not been around for a while.

I hope he has gone round to his wife's place of work - and not been watching the Man City vs Chelsea game.

[transam]

You can shoot me down in flames, don't care, but from my perspective and what l have witnessed, an older guy taking a young bird to farangland is a mistake. LOS is soon forgotten (except the family) and new ventures (cash) by what ever means are soon revealed.

But the OP's wife is at least in her late 30's, maybe 40-ish.

My mrs is in her mid forties and would be very in the UK to us guys. Age has nothing to do with it. Loads of scenarios but a young or old guy with cash and promises in the land of ''free cash'' for all, hmmmmmm, big problem for some. Sorry if I go on but seen it, still seeing it. How, cos LOS ladies love to brag, daft yes, but my mrs tells me all the gossip which makes me angry, BUT glad l know and can talk here so ALL can keep their eyes open.

[chickenslegs]

You can shoot me down in flames, don't care, but from my perspective and what l have witnessed, an older guy taking a young bird to farangland is a mistake. LOS is soon forgotten (except the family) and new ventures (cash) by what ever means are soon revealed.

But the OP's wife is at least in her late 30's, maybe 40-ish.

My mrs is in her mid forties and would be very in the UK to us guys. Age has nothing to do with it. Loads of scenarios but a young or old guy with cash and promises in the land of ''free cash'' for all, hmmmmmm, big problem for some. Sorry if I go on but seen it, still seeing it. How, cos LOS ladies love to brag, daft yes, but my mrs tells me all the gossip which makes me angry, BUT glad l know and can talk here so ALL can keep their eyes open.

I was just referring to your "older guy / young bird" description.

[shaggy1969]

Sorry if this sounds a bit harsh, but if you have to ask on a public forum about how to fix your relationship then really you shouldn't be in a relationship in the first place !!!

it would appear that the OP has only tried to contact his missus via the phone or social netwerks,grow some balls and get it sorted out face to face.....at least then you will know for sure.

If it has all gone tits up then get yourself a Yorkshire terrier,easier to handle,cost less in maintenance....and most of all a lot more faithful.

[mickylonster]

my mrs is actually 48 years old , and I am 64, so its not an old guy young wife scenario she works 6 days a week , sunday off , so today is not a good day to turn up at her place of work , but I will go there , and I will speak to her and see exactly where I stand

[theblether]

micky......stand down. This thread is now like taking a scrubbing brush to a bleeding wound.

Leave things till tomorrow, wander down to the shop and see if she's there, if she is take her in a bunch of flowers and a little note saying that you want to talk, go home and wait.

When ( if ) she walks in give her a chance to talk........whatever she says to you get her to repeat it two or three times. Let her talk herself out then deal with what has been said. If you listen then things may be repairable, if you don't listen then that's unlikely. So no more ranting.

Just go and give your wife an invitation to talk to you the old fashioned way and see what transpires.

Good luck.

[MrWorldwide]

OP, I wouldn't take most of the 'advice' given here too seriously - we are cynical old bastards at the best of times. I just wouldn't bring anything like your first post to this board, because I know how it would be received. If you can have this discussion with a bunch of strangers on a forum, surely you can have it with the woman who has moved thousands of miles to live with you ? If you aren't winding us up, this is two people's lives, not grist for the mill.

[Trembly]

Good advice from theblether.

[MrWorldwide]

Good advice from theblether.

I hate to admit it, but you're right.

[cardholder]

micky......stand down. This thread is now like taking a scrubbing brush to a bleeding wound.

Leave things till tomorrow, wander down to the shop and see if she's there, if she is take her in a bunch of flowers and a little note saying that you want to talk, go home and wait.

When ( if ) she walks in give her a chance to talk........whatever she says to you get her to repeat it two or three times. Let her talk herself out then deal with what has been said. If you listen then things may be repairable, if you don't listen then that's unlikely. So no more ranting.

Just go and give your wife an invitation to talk to you the old fashioned way and see what transpires.

Good luck.

That's nice......really, and I hope that can work for Micky. I would admit that at 48 it is a little less likely that she has been playing around but I think it would be wise to have a Plan B in the background.

Worse comes to the worse and in one year's time he can get an over 65 visa just by showing his pension statement.

[theblether]

micky......stand down. This thread is now like taking a scrubbing brush to a bleeding wound.

Leave things till tomorrow, wander down to the shop and see if she's there, if she is take her in a bunch of flowers and a little note saying that you want to talk, go home and wait.

When ( if ) she walks in give her a chance to talk........whatever she says to you get her to repeat it two or three times. Let her talk herself out then deal with what has been said. If you listen then things may be repairable, if you don't listen then that's unlikely. So no more ranting.

Just go and give your wife an invitation to talk to you the old fashioned way and see what transpires.

Good luck.

That's nice......really, and I hope that can work for Micky. I would admit that at 48 it is a little less likely that she has been playing around but I think it would be wise to have a Plan B in the background.

Worse comes to the worse and in one year's time he can get an over 65 visa just by showing his pension statement.

We can guess, second guess and triple guess to our hearts content but at the end of the day it's a matrimonial problem, and it will only be fixed by giving the couple space to breathe and space to talk.

That's not to say there hasn't been plenty of good advice on the thread already, and plenty of food for thought for micky, but the bottom line is.......( and I think we would all agree this ) he has to talk to his wife, and even more importantly.......listen to what she says.

[mickylonster]

The Blether,

Thankyou , for a very concise answer, I do hope that I can repair this situation , but am enough of a realist to accept that my initial rant wasn`t the best way to address such a emotive issue , so I am prepared to walk away from this ,but would much prefer to not have to do so .

Thanks to all , for some very valid insights and thanks to all the nay sayers as well ,

good night to all , lets see what tomorrow brings !

[loong]

Your wife works a full day and travelling to and from work takes 3 hours. If she is working 6 days a week, even with her regular job, I would think that you hardly have any time together.

Sometimes she will work an extra 3 or 4 hours. Well, she is either a workaholic or she really wants to spend the absolute minimum time with you.

The question is, on her 1 day off per week, does she spend it with you or does she go and see her friends?

If she goes to see her friends, then you should realise that you are unimportant to her. You don't have a wife, you have a lodger.

Don't threaten her about her settlement application, if she comes back because of that, she will leave you as soon as she has it in the bag.

[cornishcarlos]

Menopause !!!

[simple1]

OP: My wife & I lived in a Western country for 15 years. As she had limited English I arranged for her to attend a part time English language school & she quickly made friends with other Thai women. After a few months she realised that a number of them were not the best of people regards their relationships with their husbands. also plenty thought they knew the visa regulations, how to obtain loans from banks without having to service the debt, obtain a driving license without passing the tests etc, whereas in fact were completely misinformed. In summary the wife's Thai friends can sometimes be a major contribution to break down in relationships. Observed instances of western husbands arrange introductions to their friends of their wife's Thai female friends, even when they are in existing relationships.

About 2/3 times a week my wife would visit friends, go to bars with them etc, sometimes stay overnight. Didn't bother me as I would also go out and often traveled alone on business and used to my own company. Not once did I "check up" on her as that would have lowered my own self esteem. Nor did she check up on me. As to the suggestions that you should facilitate the cancellation of your wife's visa, to me that is just wrong after living together for six years; just sounds spiteful.

I may be completely wrong, but it appears that your wife was not content living with you as did not return home for your birthday. There again her employer may be a real bastard & not let her leave early. As to phoning you, many employers will not let staff use their phone whilst working. You just need to ascertain if indeed she is dissatisfied and why, that will be the real challenge.

Hopefully the relationship is repairable and compromises can be agreed to equal satisfaction to again commence living together. Best wishes...

BTW wife & I are now living in Thailand & approx 1 or 2 times a week overnights in her spinster sisters house - great to have a bit of time to myself.

Edited February 25, 2013 by simple1

[mrtoad]

Some good points made by Simple and The Blether. I have often heard comments about negative influences, particularly with meeting new Thai friends in the UK. I remember when Ms T was in the UK 9 years ago, and we met up with a few Thais that were in our area, she was not too impressed, something along the lines of what Simple1 has mentioned. She didn't really bother much with them and was quite happy.

Either way, it's not an ideal situation and don't be a doormat.

[TommoPhysicist]

I gotta say

At 48, she's too old for you to be chasing.

At 64, you are still young enough to find a 'thirty-something' replacement.

Always look on the bright side of life.

Edited February 25, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[mrtoad]

I gotta say

At 48, she's too old for you to be chasing.

At 64, you are still young enough to find a 'thirty-something' replacement.

Always look on the bright side of life.

Whenis TV going to have a Dear Uncle Tommo spot, so you can sort out all these people problems?

[HardenedSoul]

I gotta say

At 48, she's too old for you to be chasing.

At 64, you are still young enough to find a 'thirty-something' replacement.

Always look on the bright side of life.

Yep that's the answer - put himself right back in the same position with a younger bird even more likely to bin him when he drags her back to Newcastle.

[TommoPhysicist]

Yep that's the answer - put himself right back in the same position with a younger bird even more likely to bin him when he drags her back to Newcastle.

Why would I suggest any person take a younger Thai woman back to the UK.

Stay in Thailand and enjoy mining the mother lode.

[HardenedSoul]

Yep that's the answer - put himself right back in the same position with a younger bird even more likely to bin him when he drags her back to Newcastle.

Why would I suggest any person take a younger Thai woman back to the UK.

Stay in Thailand and enjoy mining the mother lode.

Yeah but the guy obviously wants to live in Blighty so, for him, it's not really good advice is it?

Besides, being in Thailand is hardly any guarantee of a smoother ride. Sure, it'd be easier to find replacements but he doesn't come across as the kind of guy who wants to be recruiting new talent every few months

[mrtoad]

Yep that's the answer - put himself right back in the same position with a younger bird even more likely to bin him when he drags her back to Newcastle.

Why would I suggest any person take a younger Thai woman back to the UK.

Stay in Thailand and enjoy mining the mother lode.

Yeah but the guy obviously wants to live in Blighty so, for him, it's not really good advice is it?

Besides, being in Thailand is hardly any guarantee of a smoother ride. Sure, it'd be easier to find replacements but he doesn't come across as the kind of guy who wants to be recruiting new talent every few months

It certainly wouldn't be advisable for him to have a condo, unless its on the ground floor.

[TommoPhysicist]

Yep that's the answer - put himself right back in the same position with a younger bird even more likely to bin him when he drags her back to Newcastle.

Why would I suggest any person take a younger Thai woman back to the UK.

Stay in Thailand and enjoy mining the mother lode.

Yeah but the guy obviously wants to live in Blighty so, for him, it's not really good advice is it?

Besides, being in Thailand is hardly any guarantee of a smoother ride. Sure, it'd be easier to find replacements but he doesn't come across as the kind of guy who wants to be recruiting new talent every few months

I'll have to agree with you on this.

[cardholder]

Yep that's the answer - put himself right back in the same position with a younger bird even more likely to bin him when he drags her back to Newcastle.

Why would I suggest any person take a younger Thai woman back to the UK.

Stay in Thailand and enjoy mining the mother lode.

Yeah but the guy obviously wants to live in Blighty so, for him, it's not really good advice is it?

Besides, being in Thailand is hardly any guarantee of a smoother ride. Sure, it'd be easier to find replacements but he doesn't come across as the kind of guy who wants to be recruiting new talent every few months

yes, but....... why ??

Thailand........

... it's warmer - and the beer is cheaper.

[TommoPhysicist]

And another one!

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/621679-girlfriend-threatenng-to-go-to-police-and-throw-me-out/

[jambco984]

Yep that's the answer - put himself right back in the same position with a younger bird even more likely to bin him when he drags her back to Newcastle.

Why would I suggest any person take a younger Thai woman back to the UK.

Stay in Thailand and enjoy mining the mother lode.

Yeah but the guy obviously wants to live in Blighty so, for him, it's not really good advice is it?

Besides, being in Thailand is hardly any guarantee of a smoother ride. Sure, it'd be easier to find replacements but he doesn't come across as the kind of guy who wants to be recruiting new talent every few months

yes, but....... why ??

Thailand........

... it's warmer - and the beer is cheaper.

That should read,

and the beer is cheaper.... But only just

[HardenedSoul]

And another one!

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/621679-girlfriend-threatenng-to-go-to-police-and-throw-me-out/

I dunno how these blokes survive past their 40s to be honest.

[mrtoad]

And another one!

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/621679-girlfriend-threatenng-to-go-to-police-and-throw-me-out/

I dunno how these blokes survive past their 40s to be honest.

An absolute brilliant thread, should be a must read, and should also be in General Topics.