Respect .

[mrtoad]

I knew of a guy with a girl.....she was working in a sandwich shop.She brought home more cash each day than he in a week.He was a bit thick.

Happy ending sandwiches.....

[Dancealot]

But you do understand that there are other people who know other Thai ladies where the reverse is true ?

Have you read the entire thread, cardholder?

Give him another chance, he is cool

[HardenedSoul]

Budhist virus ,

It has happened on numerous occasions , and I feel since she started work there , I am way down the list in her priorities , Since she left , I have rung her mobile , sent her txts and messaged her on f/book , all to no avail , It might be that I have well and truly f***ed up !

Hate to say this, but i think you're right.

No, she f***ed up!

You really do come off as a glutton for punishment. Have you sent the text Tommo advised you to send? There's no reason not to, and it could very well lead to the two of you making amends, assuming she has a shred of common sense.

Very important to speak out: It is her bad! and not his..

No one can really apportion blame here because no one but the OP is aware of everything that's happened during the marriage.

He's been told - somewhat bluntly by legendary Lothario and oracle on all things related to Thai women, TommoPhysicist - to send an SMS threatening a course of action that could lead to her deportation.

How the hell is that going to lead to genuine reconciliation?

"Look wife, if you don't come back to me this instant, I'll have you deported". How could any man want his wife to stay with him out of fear?

Hmm. Actually, that might be a daft question on TV given the number of control freaks in the forum membership.

[mrtoad]

You have to hand it to Tommo though, he's only trying to help the OP avoid more pain. As been mentioned by a number of others, she probably getting a portion elsewhere.

Edited February 24, 2013 by mrtoad

[transam]

You have to hand it to Tommo though, he's only trying to help the OP avoid more pain. As been mentioned by a number of others, she probably getting a portion elsewhere.

From a per-sieved farang hi-so.

[Thongkorn]

Phew, You have a lot to learn about Thai customs and life style. My wife is the same But i don't care she is the best thing to happen to me. maybe the problem is with yourself. After years of living in her country she has been conditioned to Thai life why try and change it, they live life at a lot slower pace than us maybe a better way in my opinion. just relax and chill, don't read to much into things.

Edited February 24, 2013 by Thongkorn

[TommoPhysicist]

He's been told - somewhat bluntly by legendary Lothario and oracle on all things related to Thai women, TommoPhysicist - to send an SMS threatening a course of action that could lead to her deportation.

How the hell is that going to lead to genuine reconciliation?

My SMS suggestion was in order for him to get a quick reply.

My opinion on relationships in general, is that they only get worse ...... so in this case she's already gone.

Your opinion on relationships in general, is not to have them in the first place.

If my wife were to move out, I would do what I always do, move somewhere else, leaving no forwarding address.

It makes life so much more simple.

[cardholder]

Tommo , your such a bundle of fun , not !

I think that you find he is a realist.

Look, I am sticking with this thread as it is a little bit different and (with 150+ posts) I don't think the OP is a troll.

OP - I am not sure what you are looking for with your opening post. Sure, you have latched onto a few rose-tinted responses from those who only seem to see warm, fluffy relationships between Thais and Farangs where a bit of respect and mutual cultural understanding is all that is needed for a happy life together. In this Utopian world everyone has the breathing space to go out and rub noses together, sit down and eat somtam and discuss how the price of gold has risen from 8,000 Baht in the last 6 years.

I am not saying that those relationships don't exist but.................... at least consider the other side of the coin. Thais are very sociable and put them together you have party potential. Drinking is a national pastime, passed down through generations and (with the benefit of drink) things occasionally move on to gambling. Now... some people that I know, know some Thai ladies who , with their pockets laden with gold from the streets of London, have been known to dabble with high/low and other card/domino games. The smart (longstay) ones seem to win, others lose. Now,... what is the easiest way for a Thai lady to make money ? Yes, you've guessed it, bedroom olympics at GBP 80/100 a throw. It's a sort of triathalon of events - drinking, gambling, shagging that also seem to be a national sport in some parts of Thailand - usually just amongst Thais.

OP, I am not for one moment suggesting that your wife falls into the latter category - I don't know her, you do. I would ask you to consider that the possibility exists and, to avoid too much heartbreak in the future, be prepared for all possibilities now.

A wise friend once told me "Don't leave 100% of your heart or, 100% of your capital in any relationship - especially in Thailand (or Newcastle)".

He didn't really say Newcastle - I am just trying to add some drama .......

Good luck.

[nidieunimaitre]

Do most thais understand "respect" at all?

Or do they confuse it with "not biting the hand that feeds you, as long as it feeds you / untill you find a hand that feeds you more"?

I am sometimes not sure that even europeans understand the difference.

Sorry - bad mood.

[transam]

Tommo , your such a bundle of fun , not !

I think that you find he is a realist.

Look, I am sticking with this thread as it is a little bit different and (with 150+ posts) I don't think the OP is a troll.

OP - I am not sure what you are looking for with your opening post. Sure, you have latched onto a few rose-tinted responses from those who only seem to see warm, fluffy relationships between Thais and Farangs where a bit of respect and mutual cultural understanding is all that is needed for a happy life together. In this Utopian world everyone has the breathing space to go out and rub noses together, sit down and eat somtam and discuss how the price of gold has risen from 8,000 Baht in the last 6 years.

I am not saying that those relationships don't exist but.................... at least consider the other side of the coin. Thais are very sociable and put them together you have party potential. Drinking is a national pastime, passed down through generations and (with the benefit of drink) things occasionally move on to gambling. Now... some people that I know, know some Thai ladies who , with their pockets laden with gold from the streets of London, have been known to dabble with high/low and other card/domino games. The smart (longstay) ones seem to win, others lose. Now,... what is the easiest way for a Thai lady to make money ? Yes, you've guessed it, bedroom olympics at GBP 80/100 a throw. It's a sort of triathalon of events - drinking, gambling, shagging that also seem to be a national sport in some parts of Thailand - usually just amongst Thais.

OP, I am not for one moment suggesting that your wife falls into the latter category - I don't know her, you do. I would ask you to consider that the possibility exists and, to avoid too much heartbreak in the future, be prepared for all possibilities now.

A wise friend once told me "Don't leave 100% of your heart or, 100% of your capital in any relationship - especially in Thailand (or Newcastle)".

He didn't really say Newcastle - I am just trying to add some drama .......

Good luck.

Well said (from one who has seen it many times, not me YET).

[Dancealot]

Tommo , your such a bundle of fun , not !

I think that you find he is a realist.

Look, I am sticking with this thread as it is a little bit different and (with 150+ posts) I don't think the OP is a troll.

OP - I am not sure what you are looking for with your opening post. Sure, you have latched onto a few rose-tinted responses from those who only seem to see warm, fluffy relationships between Thais and Farangs where a bit of respect and mutual cultural understanding is all that is needed for a happy life together. In this Utopian world everyone has the breathing space to go out and rub noses together, sit down and eat somtam and discuss how the price of gold has risen from 8,000 Baht in the last 6 years.

I am not saying that those relationships don't exist but.................... at least consider the other side of the coin. Thais are very sociable and put them together you have party potential. Drinking is a national pastime, passed down through generations and (with the benefit of drink) things occasionally move on to gambling. Now... some people that I know, know some Thai ladies who , with their pockets laden with gold from the streets of London, have been known to dabble with high/low and other card/domino games. The smart (longstay) ones seem to win, others lose. Now,... what is the easiest way for a Thai lady to make money ? Yes, you've guessed it, bedroom olympics at GBP 80/100 a throw. It's a sort of triathalon of events - drinking, gambling, shagging that also seem to be a national sport in some parts of Thailand - usually just amongst Thais.

OP, I am not for one moment suggesting that your wife falls into the latter category - I don't know her, you do. I would ask you to consider that the possibility exists and, to avoid too much heartbreak in the future, be prepared for all possibilities now.

A wise friend once told me "Don't leave 100% of your heart or, 100% of your capital in any relationship - especially in Thailand (or Newcastle)".

He didn't really say Newcastle - I am just trying to add some drama .......

Good luck.

[cardholder]

@wooloomooloo,

When did I say anything about friends going to Thailand and marrying horror-stories?

Thais I know who have been abroad fall mainly into two three categories : wealthy hi-so Thais from my international school days, Thais from lower-socio economic backgrounds who go to the west primarily to find wage-work, and Thais who either go there simply for education or genuine marriage.

Not much to say about the third category as they're pretty straightforward.

Wealthy hi-so Thais tend to stay on the right side of the law because they've hired immigration lawyers and visa agents to do all the leg-work for them and they are used to having the law work for them. Occasionally, if they can be bothered to stay in the west for long enough, they get citizenship.

The second category are probably the most diverse. In here you get both males and females who seek to go abroad mainly to work, work, work, save up, and come back to Thailand to reinvest the money. Some invest it in land or business, some invest it in cards and dice. Each to their own. There are three main ways for a Thai in this category to go abroad : go through an international employment agency, hire a bent Thai who is already legal in the west to justify their immigration (this is big business, the going rate is 500'000 for a pukka working visa into Canada, I've recently discovered), or to get in via a marriage visa . . . from the people I've interviewed / conversed with back in Thailand the split is about 50 / 50 between people who make a point of sticking to the rules and those who don't give the rules half a thought once in-country.

All it takes is a change of mind (or character, depending on your point of view) to hop between categories.

Sorry, I think I've said quite enough. I'll wind my neck in now as I'm only a loog-krueng who has spent most of my life in Thailand and speak 3 Thai dialects fluently whilst having close relationships with Thais from the entire spectrum of society.

Your English isn't too bad either Trembly

[cardholder]

@wooloomooloo,

When did I say anything about friends going to Thailand and marrying horror-stories?

Thais I know who have been abroad fall mainly into two three categories : wealthy hi-so Thais from my international school days, Thais from lower-socio economic backgrounds who go to the west primarily to find wage-work, and Thais who either go there simply for education or genuine marriage.

Not much to say about the third category as they're pretty straightforward.

Wealthy hi-so Thais tend to stay on the right side of the law because they've hired immigration lawyers and visa agents to do all the leg-work for them and they are used to having the law work for them. Occasionally, if they can be bothered to stay in the west for long enough, they get citizenship.

The second category are probably the most diverse. In here you get both males and females who seek to go abroad mainly to work, work, work, save up, and come back to Thailand to reinvest the money. Some invest it in land or business, some invest it in cards and dice. Each to their own. There are three main ways for a Thai in this category to go abroad : go through an international employment agency, hire a bent Thai who is already legal in the west to justify their immigration (this is big business, the going rate is 500'000 for a pukka working visa into Canada, I've recently discovered), or to get in via a marriage visa . . . from the people I've interviewed / conversed with back in Thailand the split is about 50 / 50 between people who make a point of sticking to the rules and those who don't give the rules half a thought once in-country.

All it takes is a change of mind (or character, depending on your point of view) to hop between categories.

Sorry, I think I've said quite enough. I'll wind my neck in now as I'm only a loog-krueng who has spent most of my life in Thailand and speak 3 Thai dialects fluently whilst having close relationships with Thais from the entire spectrum of society.

Your English isn't too bad either Trembly

[transam]

You can shoot me down in flames, don't care, but from my perspective and what l have witnessed, an older guy taking a young bird to farangland is a mistake. LOS is soon forgotten (except the family) and new ventures (cash) by what ever means are soon revealed.

[Semper]

Budhist virus ,

It has happened on numerous occasions , and I feel since she started work there , I am way down the list in her priorities , Since she left , I have rung her mobile , sent her txts and messaged her on f/book , all to no avail , It might be that I have well and truly f***ed up !

Hate to say this, but i think you're right.

No, she f***ed up!

You really do come off as a glutton for punishment. Have you sent the text Tommo advised you to send? There's no reason not to, and it could very well lead to the two of you making amends, assuming she has a shred of common sense.

Could you check your quotations better?

[aTomsLife]

Phew, You have a lot to learn about Thai customs and life style. My wife is the same But i don't care she is the best thing to happen to me. maybe the problem is with yourself. After years of living in her country she has been conditioned to Thai life why try and change it, they live life at a lot slower pace than us maybe a better way in my opinion. just relax and chill, don't read to much into things.

Like the custom of having a gik? No thanks. That she moved out after being confronted about not contacting the OP on his birthday is a sign she was already looking for a reason to leave.

This isn't about Thai culture. They're in the UK. And in the west actions almost always have consequences. She is in violation of the law, and if she's unwilling to make amends with her husband, she needs to go. She can relax and chill -- and have all the sleepovers she wants -- once she's back in LOS.

[aTomsLife]

Budhist virus ,

It has happened on numerous occasions , and I feel since she started work there , I am way down the list in her priorities , Since she left , I have rung her mobile , sent her txts and messaged her on f/book , all to no avail , It might be that I have well and truly f***ed up !

Hate to say this, but i think you're right.

No, she f***ed up!

You really do come off as a glutton for punishment. Have you sent the text Tommo advised you to send? There's no reason not to, and it could very well lead to the two of you making amends, assuming she has a shred of common sense.

Could you check your quotations better?

I think quoting you too was appropriate, as you agreed with him.

[cardholder]

But you do understand that there are other people who know other Thai ladies where the reverse is true ?

Have you read the entire thread, cardholder?

But you do understand that there are other people who know other Thai ladies where the reverse is true ?

Have you read the entire thread, cardholder?

Yes.

I was being sarcastic, but I still don't think you get it.

[cardholder]

You have to hand it to Tommo though, he's only trying to help the OP avoid more pain. As been mentioned by a number of others, she probably getting a portion elsewhere.

From a per-sieved farang hi-so.

Money is, as money does.

frankly, I admire the Thais ability to divorce sex from emotion.

[Gary A]

Since he has not bothered going to her place of work or contacted her friends, I find that quite strange. Does he even know where she works or where her friends live?

[lemoncake]

You can shoot me down in flames, don't care, but from my perspective and what l have witnessed, an older guy taking a young bird to farangland is a mistake. LOS is soon forgotten (except the family) and new ventures (cash) by what ever means are soon revealed.

I think it also has to do with a real culture shock.

For starters they actually really need to work, which includes staying awake while at work and at least trying to pretend to look busy.

Then there is a total isolation from friends, family, tv, food, shopping and everything else.

Then there is i guess a touch of reality, ie not going out every night, not going shopping everyday and soon it becomes clear that not only not compatible once alcohol is removed as well as amount of money but it is now boring for her, so naturally if she meets some one new its an excitement which she picks.

Speaking about money, if they are helped with say $1000 every month, the $1000 in Thailand buys million times more that $1000 in Western country, so all over sudden that amount which seemed great, now looks like nothing.

[transam]

Since he has not bothered going to her place of work or contacted her friends, I find that quite strange. Does he even know where she works or where her friends live?

Some of us are of a trusting nature, ooooooooooop's, sorry, were of a trusting nature.

[TommoPhysicist]

Since he has not bothered going to her place of work or contacted her friends, I find that quite strange. Does he even know where she works or where her friends live?

Some of us are of a trusting nature, ooooooooooop's, sorry, were of a trusting nature.

My trusting nature lasted 25 years .........

If I were the OP, I would have done random drop-ins to her place of work and her sleep-overs.

"Surprise darling ....... eating in your restaurant tonight."

"Surprise darling ......... you forgot your favourite lipstick ...... I knew you would want it for tomorrow morning."

Etc.

Sitting at home waiting for them to call is a bit ...... weak and predictable.

Edited February 24, 2013 by TommoPhysicist

[transam]

Since he has not bothered going to her place of work or contacted her friends, I find that quite strange. Does he even know where she works or where her friends live?

Some of us are of a trusting nature, ooooooooooop's, sorry, were of a trusting nature.

My trusting nature lasted 25 years .........

If I were the OP, I would have done random drop-ins to her place of work and her sleep-overs.

"Surprise darling ....... eating in your restaurant tonight."

"Surprise darling ......... you forgot your favourite lipstick ...... I knew you would want it for tomorrow morning."

Etc.

Sitting at home waiting for them to call is a bit ...... weak and predictable.

Well you and l know stuff, and very sad for trusting guys who believe they are taking someone from ''poverty'' to a better life to get ripped off cos their lady forgets stuff. I could write a book. Glad my mrs hated the UK's folks negativity to anything.

[mrtoad]

Since he has not bothered going to her place of work or contacted her friends, I find that quite strange. Does he even know where she works or where her friends live?

Maybe she's out delivering sandwiches.

[kevvy]

We have been together 6 years , She has been here with me in the UK

for 14 months and recently started working at a Thai mini market and

restaurant in Newcastle her work in the mini market finishes at 6.30 pm

and she the catches the metro home arriving at 8pm approx . however

sometimes she is asked to assist in the restaurant working later up till

10pm and arriving home after 11pm , She usually phones me to tell me

about the extra work .

Last week , I took her to the metro station , and her parting words

were , I will phone you before I catch the metro so you can start dinner

for my arrival home. I waited and waited for a call or txt , by 10 pm

no call , no txt , no dinner , went bed quite angry that she not have

enough respect to contact me .

So after six years she left you because you got angry one time . she either wanted to go and used this as an excuse or she had enough of what you are not telling us .. either way , it happened . Go and see her if she does not want to see you still , then let her calm down and wait . if she does not come then let her go .move on . we have all been there one time in our life.at the end of the day you have to make the decision not alot of people you do not know.

Edited February 24, 2013 by metisdead
: Bold font removed, learn to use the Quote feature in the toolbar when highlighting parts of a post.

[welsh1]

We all know some one who as been through the same thing, some of us have our very own stories, I have been there myself, I have the T shirt to prove it. But its all about manning up, growing your self a pair of balls,,,,Life is to short, to be making some one a priority, when you are only a option !

[Sharp]

Your job is done mate , she's here's and now it's bye bye IMHO

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa app

[nottocus]

At 10.30 pm , I receive a txt , saying sorry I miss dinner with you , love you very much . for me this was too little too late .

Quote from the OP above ^

She was probably doing some other guy mate. Wake up.

[transam]

At 10.30 pm , I receive a txt , saying sorry I miss dinner with you , love you very much . for me this was too little too late .

Quote from the OP above ^

She was probably doing some other guy mate. Wake up.

Must admit the ''Love you very much'' clinches it for me. Same as ''You hansum man'' , sweetener .