To Thailand From Us And Back?

[Filipplenoir]

Born and raised in USA, Mike left his American home to trot the unfamiliar ground in Southeast Asia. From being an English teacher in the rural region to being an office worker in Bangkok, he has seen Thailand inside out.

In an interview with me, Mike reflected on the cultural differences between the US and Thailand.

Coming from the USA to Thailand, what would you see as the main difference between the two countries and the two cultures?

Punctuality. Definitely punctuality. It took me a while to get used to that. At home you set times and you show up on times, but here everything is free flowing and laid back in a way. These differences are even more visible in the business world. In America business negotiations are very straightforward, very pointed, direct and forthcoming about a way you feel about a certain situation. In Thailand, on the other hand theres more dancing around that has to be done in order to eventually get to the same conclusion. It is a more delicate way of doing business.

Having taught in Thailand, what differences were the most striking for you, a person who attended school in the United States?

The biggest difference I found was the maturity level of the children. In Thailand kids stay kids longer. Here the maturity level is a step below of that one in the US: high school kids in Thailand are acting as middle school kids in America, and Thai college kids have a maturity level of the American high school kids. In Thailand it takes longer for the children to grow up to adulthood, which isnt necessarily a bad thing they are able to enjoy their childhood longer.

Do you see any problems with that?

As Thailand and Thai kids are being exposed to Western culture more and more, I think theres this disjoint coming. They see a lot more than they are necessarily ready for at that level of maturity.

Now, what about American expats in Thailand? Are they typical representatives of your home country and culture?

Generally speaking the Americans that I meet in Thailand do represent the United States. The majority of the ones that are here are retired expats, living anywhere from Pattaya to Hua Hin. They bring the traditional culture and belief structure that I grew up with back home. They live in their own enclave with fellow Americans and they all hang out together. But it is more unique to find an American who does not most exclusively associate with other Americans. And that is where you meet individuals who dont necessarily represent America. They make a conscious effort to expose themselves as much internationally as possible. And that is unique, since Americans traditionally dont travel internationally.

What are your general observations about Thai women? If you think about your mother, sister, or an American girlfriend, what is the biggest difference?

The biggest difference between American women and Thai ones- is the idea of feminism. Thai women look and act like women did traditionally, with skirts and hills that are certainly very feminine in nature. American women on the other hand are becoming more and more masculine because they are forced to compete with men in the traditionally masculine roles. In Thailand the opposite is occurring-the society here is becoming more and more feminine. And I think this allows women to maximize their ability to play the traditional gender roles.

How does this affect the family?

When it comes to family structures I think that Thais are generally more family oriented than Americans are. You have multiple generations of family members living in the same household. Women here readily accept and do not question the traditional gender roles- a woman has to take care of the kids, clean, etc. So I think in that regard Thailand in general, has closer family ties than the Americans who are becoming more and more fractured due to the fact that American women are competing with men in all aspects of workforce.

The final question is going to incorporate all the ones youve just answered. You are in Thailand, where women are more feminine, kids stay kids longer, there is no punctuality and negotiations are more diplomatic.

How do you go back to the US? Can an expat ever return? Is it going to be a big re-adjustment back to the American reality, or will you simply get back to the normal, away from the abnormal Thai life?

Yes, there is definitely a huge difference in culture. You move into a location, stay there for a period of time and you will become acclimated to that way of life. A lot of expats leave home and never come back. I think I can only speak to the fact that it took me 4 years to go home for a week! Thailand offers such a high quality of life for the amount of work necessary to afford it. When living in Thailand your thoughts are consumed with ways of relaxing, ways of enjoying life. But going back to such an over-regulated and over- stressed society that America is, really takes an emotional toll on an individual very quickly. In the US, all of a sudden you are worrying about all of these other facets of life that are nonexistent in ThailandIn essence in the US one is mentally more focused on how am I going to survive to the next day, as opposed to the Thai reality of how am I going to enjoy today for what it is.

Edited March 8, 2013 by Filipplenoir

[David48]

I seemed to have missed the question ...

Anyone wish to clue me in.

Heck ... I'd even listen to *TommoPhysicist's explanation right about now ...

* No offence intended ...

[ihunnieibee]

This whole interview is pretty much what anyone who has been in Thailand for more than 6 months could tell anyone else.

Bravo!! You've made another long post for no reason

[weegee]

I seemed to have missed the question ...

Anyone wish to clue me in.

Heck ... I'd even listen to *TommoPhysicist's explanation right about now ...

* No offence intended ...

I agree Dave....where did this expert come from????....another 3 boring, outdated crap posts. and it's for his class....should have kept it there!

[Filipplenoir]

I seemed to have missed the question ...

Anyone wish to clue me in.

Heck ... I'd even listen to *TommoPhysicist's explanation right about now ...

* No offence intended ...

I agree Dave....where did this expert come from????....another 3 boring, outdated crap posts. and it's for his class....should have kept it there!

Sorry, next time I will pre-approve

[David48]

To the OP ...

If these are indeed your writings, you show a flair for it (though others may disagree).

But the is a lack of clarity in the purpose of your Opening Post.

It's like you just want to talk with yourself and not involve us, the readers.

There's nothing wrong with a long Opening Post but <deleted>, learn the art of talking 'with' us ... not 'to' us.

If you want to tell a story ... have a read of so-i-was-on-a-bus

If you want to write an observation dialogue read the-grumpiest-ex-pat-in-bangkok

Recount a personal tradegy bad-experience-with-thai-girl

Up to you how and what you write ...

Good Luck

[rsokolowski]

Thanks for the post.

Your comment "And that is unique, since Americans traditionally dont travel internationally" is a bit of a sterotype. Although I agree that many Americans may not travel internationally, I also think that many Americans do travel internationally. Also Pattaya to Hua Hin is a pretty small range, Thailand is a fairly large country and Americans live thoughout from Issan to Chang Mai to Phuket and beyond.

I have been around the world, courtesy of 24 years in the U.S. Navy, and have traveled extensively on my own after I retired from active duty. When I retire to Thailand in the next year or two I will be moving to Issan and will likely not live near any other Americans.

So maybe I will break the sterotypical American profile.

[MrWorldwide]

I admit to having a bit of an 'attitude' toward Americans based on the loud-mouthed old buggers who hang out in the foyer of the Nana Hotel, loudly giving everyone an earful of their views on everything from Thailand to world peace. Lots of incredibly boring old 'war stories' - I find myself stuck there from time to time waiting for a car to take me to Patts or, worse, a Thai girl to rock up.

Fast forward to Feb, 2012 and I spent an hour or two chatting with a young Navy officer from Boston - he was at the end of his shore leave and had to return to the boat that afternoon. This guy was a magnificent advertisement for his country - very few of the people I served with in Oz lived up to the recruiting poster, but he carried it off with aplomb. Gentle self-effacing wit, a clear understanding of the world outside the US Navy and an obvious grasp on the fact that everything around him in that part of Bangkok is Disneyland, and no-one gets to leave with Minnie. The last thing I would want is to spend six months at a time at sea, but he seemed totally at peace with it. We also had a bit of a laugh at the Marines expense, but I avoided the heavy-duty 'American foreign policy sux' lecture : having worn a uniform, I know that lecture is a luxury for people who don't wear a uniform. When he returns to his ship, it's 'Yes, Sir', 'No, Sir' and 'How high, Sir ?' : that's the way it has to be for the system to work.

Up to that point, I had become pretty cynical about Farang in Thailand - not just Americans, pretty much everyone. It renewed my faith in his generation to meet a young guy who clearly had a clue *without* being a flag-waving zealot. He couldn't have been more different to his older countrymen in the Nana foyer. Those old coots are probably still there, re-taking Saigon and Pyongyang