Unwanted Attention From A Private School's Teacher

[VadymTyemirov]

My Thai girlfriend is studying English at a private school in Bangkok XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX. An owner of the school, XXXXXXXXX sent her a text mesage, asking out.

She never left him her phone number and was genuinely surprised to see the invitation. She left her information when registering as a student, of course.

She is Thai and sees no big deal with it. As I am an American, I am very angry for the breach of trust between a student and a teacher and violation of confidentialty of student's personal information.

The problem is, I don't know what can I do about it. Has anyone had any experience of dealing with such situations in Thailand?

Please, restrain yourself from commenting if your advice is not realistic and action-specific.

Edited March 14, 2013 by endure
Names removed

[Beetlejuice]

Firstly, it appears rather strange that a school which teaches English does not have an English language version of it`s web site.

Second, you are asking for trouble by naming and shaming people just by hearsay on a Thai forum.

I don`t think the lifespan of this thread is going to be very long.

[VadymTyemirov]

Firstly, it appears rather strange that a school which teaches English does not have an English language version of it`s web site.

Second, you are asking for trouble by naming and shaming people just by hearsay on a Thai forum.

I don`t think the lifespan of this thread is going to be very long.

I am asking for help as I don't quite understand what I can do in this case.

I have no issues sharing the names, though, nor do I see why would it be a concern. My own name is shown.

[endure]

I have removed website URLs and names from the OPs post. The defamation laws in Thailand do not allow the naming and shaming of people or organisations. If you can help the OP then please do so but please don't post them again.

[FunFon]

You can be criminally prosecuted for damaging the reputation of a person or business in Thailand, and the fact that you're telling the truth is no defense.

Plus sued of course.

So the board doesn't allow it.

My advice is forget about it, TiT, shit happens, deal with it.

Taking any kind of action other than ignoring it is unlikely to have anything but a negative result for you and yours, and certainly nothing to gain.

[wooloomooloo]

I am very angry for the breach of trust between a student and a teacher and violation of confidentialty of student's personal information.

...but more angry because another man has come on to your girlfriend?

If I got upset with every bloke that got fresh with my wife, I'd be in a permanent fight.

[Beetlejuice]

How did you discover the text message to your girlfriend?

How do you know that your girlfriend did not give out her phone number or any more of her personal details to specific people, including the said teacher?

Do you live together, are you able to see what she is up to 24 hours a day?

If your girlfriend has not taken offense by the actions of this guy, then it seems there is little or practically nothing you can do about it.

My advice is: become your own online detective. Check out her facebook profiles (they all have them) and any other subscriptions she may have with social networking sites. Also type her email address, or phone number, name of nick names she may use into Google. You will be surprised what information can be obtained about people this way.

There are also many online social networking and people search engines available. Just type in her details, as described above and see what information they can provide.

PS: If her messages are in Thai, you can use Google translation. Not very good, but will give you a rough idea as to what is being said.

Edited March 14, 2013 by Beetlejuice

[VadymTyemirov]

I have removed website URLs and names from the OPs post. The defamation laws in Thailand do not allow the naming and shaming of people or organisations. If you can help the OP then please do so but please don't post them again.

Thank you!

The answers I am getting so far do not seem to quote any laws regarding student's confidentialty. May be because there are none in Thailand.

I do not see any options to delete the post, but feel free to remove it if you see fit.

[Beetlejuice]

I have removed website URLs and names from the OPs post. The defamation laws in Thailand do not allow the naming and shaming of people or organisations. If you can help the OP then please do so but please don't post them again.

Thank you!

The answers I am getting so far do not seem to quote any laws regarding student's confidentialty. May be because there are none in Thailand.

I do not see any options to delete the post, but feel free to remove it if you see fit.

You asked for advice, which I have given you. But seem more concerned about discrediting this school.

Sorry mate, but you`re suspect.

Edited March 14, 2013 by Beetlejuice

[FunFon]

Yes, the whole "student confidentiality" thing seems totally strange, maybe I've just been here too long, but I can't imagine any school here where any teacher couldn't get any student's number from Thai staff, even if he came right out and said "I think she's cute and want to ask her out", everyone would just twitter and smile and think it was romantic, certainly no thought it's inappropriate.

There are laws against such things in some countries?

Remind me never to go there. . .

[VadymTyemirov]

I have removed website URLs and names from the OPs post. The defamation laws in Thailand do not allow the naming and shaming of people or organisations. If you can help the OP then please do so but please don't post them again.

Thank you!

The answers I am getting so far do not seem to quote any laws regarding student's confidentialty. May be because there are none in Thailand.

I do not see any options to delete the post, but feel free to remove it if you see fit.

You asked for advice, which I have given you. But seem more concerned about discrediting this school.

Sorry mate, but you`re suspect.

I have not asked for an opinion but an actionable advice. Your opinion about myself or the "reality" of my statement is beyond the point.

The question is -- what do you do if a teacher violates the confidentiality of a student in Thailand? If anyone can share any experience with it, it'd be greatly appreciated.

If not, then there are plenty of other posts where the idea of spying over Facebooks may look legit.

[endure]

Could you tell us how old your GF is please?

[HeavyDrinker]

Could you tell us how old your GF is please?

Could you tell us if she's hot then me and mr Endure will learn her some Englishish....

[VadymTyemirov]

Yes, the whole "student confidentiality" thing seems totally strange, maybe I've just been here too long, but I can't imagine any school here where any teacher couldn't get any student's number from Thai staff, even if he came right out and said "I think she's cute and want to ask her out", everyone would just twitter and smile and think it was romantic, certainly no thought it's inappropriate.

There are laws against such things in some countries?

Remind me never to go there. . .

I am from US and a teacher looses his job and/or goes to jail over smth I've described above. It's like a cop taking bribes ... But following the anology I should not be too much surprised with the situation in Thailand ...

[VadymTyemirov]

Could you tell us how old your GF is please?

32.

[Beetlejuice]

I have removed website URLs and names from the OPs post. The defamation laws in Thailand do not allow the naming and shaming of people or organisations. If you can help the OP then please do so but please don't post them again.

Thank you!

The answers I am getting so far do not seem to quote any laws regarding student's confidentialty. May be because there are none in Thailand.

I do not see any options to delete the post, but feel free to remove it if you see fit.

You asked for advice, which I have given you. But seem more concerned about discrediting this school.

Sorry mate, but you`re suspect.

I have not asked for an opinion but an actionable advice. Your opinion about myself or the "reality" of my statement is beyond the point.

The question is -- what do you do if a teacher violates the confidentiality of a student in Thailand? If anyone can share any experience with it, it'd be greatly appreciated.

If not, then there are plenty of other posts where the idea of spying over Facebooks may look legit.

It`s not up to you, it`s up to your girlfriend if she wishes to complain about this guy or not and you have already stated that she is not bothered, so that`s really the end of story.

The simple answer is, that if your girlfriend is not happy with her confidentiality being breached at the said school, or being asked out by a teacher/s or members of staff, then she can demand a refund of her fees on the grounds of the school acting in a non professional manner and seek another English language school. As it stands there is not else much she can do, unless this guy is stalking her or has tried to sexually molest her in any way.

What else would you prefer to hear?

[endure]

Could you tell us how old your GF is please?

32.

Then she's old enough to look after herself. It's her country and she knows the way things work. You have no right to interfere in whatever way she chooses to deal with the matter.

[VadymTyemirov]

It`s not up to you, it`s up to your girlfriend if she wishes to complain about this guy or not and you have already stated that she is not bothered, so that`s really the end of story.

The simple answer is, that if your girlfriend is not happy with her confidentiality being breached at the said school, or being asked out by a teacher/s or members of staff, then she can demand a refund of her fees on the grounds of the school acting in a non professional manner and seek another English language school. As it stands there is not else much she can do, unless this guy is stalking her or has tried to sexually molest her in any way.

What else would you prefer to hear?

I agree, in absence of enforcable laws there are not many options other than what you have summed up here.

Was wondering if communal wisdom can give some recommendations for the case but it looks like the situation is perceived by the expats as more or less normal.

[FunFon]

The question is -- what do you do if a teacher violates the confidentiality of a student in Thailand? If anyone can share any experience with it, it'd be greatly appreciated.

I thought you already understood - there isn't any enforceable "right to privacy" for information like this. I'd be very surprised if such even exists in theory, but certainly not in practice.

Give it up!

[VadymTyemirov]

The question is -- what do you do if a teacher violates the confidentiality of a student in Thailand? If anyone can share any experience with it, it'd be greatly appreciated.

I thought you already understood - there isn't any enforceable "right to privacy" for information like this. I'd be very surprised if such even exists in theory, but certainly not in practice.

Give it up!

I may not agree to give it up but I figure there is no "official way" of treating it.

[tw25rw]

Accompany her to school. Make sure you are seen. Don't make a scene. Act as if you don't know.

[FunFon]

I agree, in absence of enforcable laws there are not many options other than what you have summed up here.

Was wondering if communal wisdom can give some recommendations for the case but it looks like the situation is perceived by the expats as more or less normal.

-

In my case not normal perhaps but certainly preferred to the nanny-state BS back home, no harm in it at all AFAIC.

And even in the US, it's my understanding that enforcement of such silly ideals would be done via the civil courts rather than the police.

The US corporate sector has spent billions fighting against the sort of data protection/privacy standards enforced in Europe (and there by fines not jail time as well, at least AFAIK).

[FunFon]

And regarding your (what I see as) insane paranoid possessive jealousy, maybe have a look at that.

Personally I say give 'em plenty of rope, let things play out and if they like to play let them know you do too.

Or just walk away, no one respects an angry cuckold. . .

[Beetlejuice]

The question is -- what do you do if a teacher violates the confidentiality of a student in Thailand? If anyone can share any experience with it, it'd be greatly appreciated.

I thought you already understood - there isn't any enforceable "right to privacy" for information like this. I'd be very surprised if such even exists in theory, but certainly not in practice.

Give it up!

I may not agree to give it up but I figure there is no "official way" of treating it.

So what was wrong with my online search suggestions?

I have enough of my own ridiculous, pathetic little problems that those too, no one is interested in, so I bid you all a good morning.

[VadymTyemirov]

I agree, in absence of enforcable laws there are not many options other than what you have summed up here.

Was wondering if communal wisdom can give some recommendations for the case but it looks like the situation is perceived by the expats as more or less normal.

-

In my case not normal perhaps but certainly preferred to the nanny-state BS back home, no harm in it at all AFAIC.

And even in the US, it's my understanding that enforcement of such silly ideals would be done via the civil courts rather than the police.

The US corporate sector has spent billions fighting against the sort of data protection/privacy standards enforced in Europe (and there by fines not jail time as well, at least AFAIK).

it's a mutt point, of course, but in case of many US universites the situation is exactly as I described it. Student's confidentiality is kinda sacred, and any mingling with it means loosing the job plus further criminal charges, depending on the claimed harm/university's reputation.

in any case, my interest was about Thailand, and I am getting the feeling that stocking using one's privileged position doesn't seem to bother most of the people bothered enough by my post to answer

[tw25rw]

It's typical foreigner in Thailand behaviour. No need to overreact or add any heat to the situation. Let her deal with it. It's only a big deal if he is persistent in the knowledge that she isn't single.

[wooloomooloo]

This isn't a US university, but an English class for a 32 year old looking to improve her language skills. She may as well be working in 7-Eleven.

Don't be surprised if your girlfriend ends up with this bloke. Probably more in common.

[HeavyDrinker]

Boo hoo....

I think you're making this up as you go along and maybe the 'unwanted' attention is right up your wife's alley if you will..

[VadymTyemirov]

The question is -- what do you do if a teacher violates the confidentiality of a student in Thailand? If anyone can share any experience with it, it'd be greatly appreciated.

I thought you already understood - there isn't any enforceable "right to privacy" for information like this. I'd be very surprised if such even exists in theory, but certainly not in practice.

Give it up!

I may not agree to give it up but I figure there is no "official way" of treating it.

So what was wrong with my online search suggestions?

I have enough of my own ridiculous, pathetic little problems that those too, no one is interested in, so I bid you all a good morning.

I figure there is no "official way" of treating it based on the responses I've gathered so far. I was hoping there is a legitimate way to approach it ...

I have no trust issues with my GF, she actually told me about this situation herself (she thought it was funny). It looks horrifying to me, though.

[doji]

To the OP

I find it is strange that your GF thinks the situation is little funny herself , while YOU are running around like a headless chicken. That leads me to believe that she seems to enjoy this little attention. Are you sure your GF was not saying or making this up to make you jealous?

If that’s not true, then…..I would either change the phone number, or take her to a different school, SIMPLE AS THAT!.

Don’t get hung up too much with the privacy law in Thailand, “Thailand is not the USA”.

Or why can’t your GF just tell him straight that …she is currently in a serious relationship with someone else already? If he’s not a pervert he will back away. Unless you GF is not giving out a “definite NO”, that could be why he thinks there may be a possibility of future relationship and will keep pursuing. I have heard many girls with a farang boyfriend like to have "option (s)".

Just my little thought

Edited March 14, 2013 by doji