Unwanted Attention From A Private School's Teacher

[nidieunimaitre]

I have the impression that most posters that reply here, have been burned by their gf / wives, and now they are assuming / hoping that the OP will get burned too.

Jealousy, pure jealousy.

A bit of yes and a bit of no,,,yes there are some of us who have been burned, there are some of us who are still smoldering, as we are extra cautious, but you are way of the mark, when you say that other people go around wishing bad luck on other people. just because they have had bad luck them selves

Halelujah! A new brand of rosy glasses has emerged.

After the "thailand is perfect" brigade, now the "Farang posters are perfect" brigade.

[Kilgore Trout]

I have removed website URLs and names from the OPs post. The defamation laws in Thailand do not allow the naming and shaming of people or organisations. If you can help the OP then please do so but please don't post them again.

Thank you!

The answers I am getting so far do not seem to quote any laws regarding student's confidentialty. May be because there are none in Thailand.

I do not see any options to delete the post, but feel free to remove it if you see fit.

You asked for advice, which I have given you. But seem more concerned about discrediting this school.

Sorry mate, but you`re suspect.

what a load of nonsense from beetle; the op is asking if there are laws in Thailand regarding privacy information and if the alleged perpetrator has broken them.

Perhaps if your daughter was being propositioned by the school principal or your wife by her boss and calling her on her private telephone, you might be concerned as well.

[wilcopops]

Whole thing stinks of B/S. How do we know you haven't got some other motive for this?

[nami]

I don't know but I would guess there are no such laws here, and even if they existed they wouldn't be enforced.

If you really are concerned about the data leak and not because of jealousy, then I would tell you not to listen the bunch of losers scared of their own shadow. These people think because they are the foreigners in Thailand everyone can step on them and they just need to move on. For sure the foreigner situation will not improve for the rest of us while these weak guys keep saying khrub phom and mai pen rai every time someone <deleted>%&$ them.

If the concern is about the privacy I would go to talk with this guy privately (don't make it in public as he could lose face and become unpredictable). I would ask him how is it possible he has the number and if he didnt listen about privacy. Don't lose your temper just say politely why you think this is unacceptable.

Now flames can come from such losers :-P

Edited March 15, 2013 by nami

[TerryLH]

"Accompany her to school. Make sure you are seen. Don't make a scene."

I agree with that.

"Act as if you don't know."

Not as much with this part.

Go with her to school. Ask her to introduce you to the guy, if you haven't already been.

I'd let him know i saw his text message.

OR

Do nothing.

[Berkshire]

I don't know but I would guess there are no such laws here, and even if they existed they wouldn't be enforced. If you really are concerned about the data leak and not because of jealousy, then I would tell you not to listen the bunch of losers scared of their own shadow. These people think because they are the foreigners in Thailand everyone can step on them and they just need to move on. For sure the foreigner situation will not improve for the rest of us while these weak guys keep saying khrub phom and mai pen rai every time someone <deleted>%&$ them. If the concern is about the privacy I would go to talk with this guy privately (don't make it in public as he could lose face and become unpredictable). I would ask him how is it possible he has the number and if he didnt listen about privacy. Don't lose your temper just say politely why you think this is unacceptable. Now flames can come from such losers :-P

As you have failed to provide the legal recourse that the OP is seeking, you too have been relegated to Loserville. Make yourself at home!

[SteeleJoe]

wow, brutal crowd.

All this talk of "why do you care/stop being obsessive" when deep down you all know you would be at least a little angry if you were in his situation.

Yeah, its not a big deal, I agree, but give the guy a break, he asked a question in a respectful manner about what he should do about a teacher at an english school looking up his g/f's number and then asking her out. Of course you would be a little upset if you are the boyfriend.

Speaking as someone who read, largely agreed with and "liked" those rather derisive comments, I have to admit that's an excellent post and it reflects well on you.

Sent from my iPad using ThaiVisa ap

[GooEng]

I agree, in absence of enforcable laws there are not many options other than what you have summed up here.

Was wondering if communal wisdom can give some recommendations for the case but it looks like the situation is perceived by the expats as more or less normal.

-

In my case not normal perhaps but certainly preferred to the nanny-state BS back home, no harm in it at all AFAIC.

And even in the US, it's my understanding that enforcement of such silly ideals would be done via the civil courts rather than the police.

The US corporate sector has spent billions fighting against the sort of data protection/privacy standards enforced in Europe (and there by fines not jail time as well, at least AFAIK).

it's a mutt point, of course, but in case of many US universites the situation is exactly as I described it. Student's confidentiality is kinda sacred, and any mingling with it means loosing the job plus further criminal charges, depending on the claimed harm/university's reputation.

in any case, my interest was about Thailand, and I am getting the feeling that stocking using one's privileged position doesn't seem to bother most of the people bothered enough by my post to answer

its not that abuse of privilege doesn't bother most of the posters here - it's just that most of the people who have posted here have been here long enough to know that use/abuse of any privilege or advantage is THE modus operandi of thailand and the Thais.

Any advantage is to be used and not to do so is seen as foolish. It operates on all levels of thai society in all kinds of situations.

Get used to it.

[welsh1]

I have the impression that most posters that reply here, have been burned by their gf / wives, and now they are assuming / hoping that the OP will get burned too.

Jealousy, pure jealousy.

A bit of yes and a bit of no,,,yes there are some of us who have been burned, there are some of us who are still smoldering, as we are extra cautious, but you are way of the mark, when you say that other people go around wishing bad luck on other people. just because they have had bad luck them selves

Halelujah! A new brand of rosy glasses has emerged.

After the "thailand is perfect" brigade, now the "Farang posters are perfect" brigade.

Edited March 15, 2013 by welsh1

[Sheryl]

It is not actionable unless it goes beyond this e.g. if he starts to directly or indirectly coerce her

Which by the way is extremely common in Thai schools. there have been reports documenting a very high rate of female students being threatened with poor grades if they do not "accommodate" their male teachers. Same thing goes on in work environments.

And not just in Thailand.

The reason your GF thinks this is nothing is because she is a woman and has experienced much, much worse, many times. While this wasn't right, relatively speaking if he takes no for an answer (or silence as no) then he's way ahead of the curve on gentlemanly behavior.

I suspect you'd be speechless if your GF recounted to you all the sexual harassment she has experienced in even the past year. This is comparatively small potatoes.

Leave it be unless it escalates.

[yourauntbob]

I have removed website URLs and names from the OPs post. The defamation laws in Thailand do not allow the naming and shaming of people or organisations. If you can help the OP then please do so but please don't post them again.

Thank you!

The answers I am getting so far do not seem to quote any laws regarding student's confidentialty. May be because there are none in Thailand.

I do not see any options to delete the post, but feel free to remove it if you see fit.

You asked for advice, which I have given you. But seem more concerned about discrediting this school.

Sorry mate, but you`re suspect.

I have not asked for an opinion but an actionable advice. Your opinion about myself or the "reality" of my statement is beyond the point.

The question is -- what do you do if a teacher violates the confidentiality of a student in Thailand? If anyone can share any experience with it, it'd be greatly appreciated.

If not, then there are plenty of other posts where the idea of spying over Facebooks may look legit.

You could talk to the school and tell them you do not appreciate what they have done. $$$ talks in Thailand, if she withdrawals from the school they will get the message, you wouldn't even need to say anything and i am sure the person who sent the text will get the message. Unfortunately this is about all you can do, any more will than that would end up bringing you more trouble than them.

[yoslim]

It is not actionable unless it goes beyond this e.g. if he starts to directly or indirectly coerce her

Which by the way is extremely common in Thai schools. there have been reports documenting a very high rate of female students being threatened with poor grades if they do not "accommodate" their male teachers. Same thing goes on in work environments.

Sounds too good to be true, time to put my masters degree to use and find a teaching job in a Thai university

Edited March 15, 2013 by yoslim

[breadbin]

Your jealous, see it as a good thing that you have a lady who others admire. If she is true to you then you have no issues. If she isn't you'll know soon enough. Not a problem as you'll know either way.

[rene123]

It is not actionable unless it goes beyond this e.g. if he starts to directly or indirectly coerce her

Which by the way is extremely common in Thai schools. there have been reports documenting a very high rate of female students being threatened with poor grades if they do not "accommodate" their male teachers. Same thing goes on in work environments.

And not just in Thailand.

The reason your GF thinks this is nothing is because she is a woman and has experienced much, much worse, many times. While this wasn't right, relatively speaking if he takes no for an answer (or silence as no) then he's way ahead of the curve on gentlemanly behavior.

I suspect you'd be speechless if your GF recounted to you all the sexual harassment she has experienced in even the past year. This is comparatively small potatoes.

Leave it be unless it escalates.

Words of wisdom. Thank you Sheryl.

[jackr]

A surprising turn to the thread.

To me it appears that OP was asking a simple question. Was there any expectation that information the student provided to the school would be confidential, and was the teacher breaking any ethical or legal code by using that information to approach a student for a date.

To both parts the answer would seem to be No -at least here in Thailand.

The teacher asking a student out on a date - in person or by phone to me is completely morally reprehensible.

Indeed, the op was after straightforward info and TV's finest are all over him like a cheap suit. If it were me, I wouldn't be jealous, I'd be pissed. Ok, fair enough on the street, but this is a school is it not? It ain't right, cultural phenomenon or no.

Chaps: replace the op's gf with your daughter/granddaughter () and you find out the head is chasing her; how do you feel?

[TommoPhysicist]

A surprising turn to the thread.

To me it appears that OP was asking a simple question. Was there any expectation that information the student provided to the school would be confidential, and was the teacher breaking any ethical or legal code by using that information to approach a student for a date.

To both parts the answer would seem to be No -at least here in Thailand.

The teacher asking a student out on a date - in person or by phone to me is completely morally reprehensible.

Indeed, the op was after straightforward info and TV's finest are all over him like a cheap suit. If it were me, I wouldn't be jealous, I'd be pissed. Ok, fair enough on the street, but this is a school is it not? It ain't right, cultural phenomenon or no.

Chaps: replace the op's gf with your daughter/granddaughter () and you find out the head is chasing her; how do you feel?

She's 32 <deleted>.

[2unique]

A surprising turn to the thread.

To me it appears that OP was asking a simple question. Was there any expectation that information the student provided to the school would be confidential, and was the teacher breaking any ethical or legal code by using that information to approach a student for a date.

To both parts the answer would seem to be No -at least here in Thailand.

The teacher asking a student out on a date - in person or by phone to me is completely morally reprehensible.

Indeed, the op was after straightforward info and TV's finest are all over him like a cheap suit. If it were me, I wouldn't be jealous, I'd be pissed. Ok, fair enough on the street, but this is a school is it not? It ain't right, cultural phenomenon or no.

Chaps: replace the op's gf with your daughter/granddaughter () and you find out the head is chasing her; how do you feel?

why does one need to replace a 32 year old girlfriend with a young daughter? To elicit a feeling of outrage?

Just because you (and others) feel pissed off and homicidal about this doesn't mean others do. I was invited out to dinner with my 34 year old girlfriend (at the time) and a friend of hers, all through dinner he was making it clear he liked women exactly like her. I went to the toilet and as I glanced back I saw him lean across to stroke her cheek, which she jerked back. I was more pissed off with the sneakiness than the action. Obviously I find her attractive and desirable so others would to also he doesn't know me and owes me nothing.

Later in the car, she told me what had happened, I said I saw however he's been your friend for years not mine, you're the one who has to tell him about his actions - so I don't have to.

Incidentally now every time he travels he brings me a litre bottle of Baileys - so I guess he got the message.

As regards the OP - he has no legal recourse, reading all his posts it appears revenge fueled not spurred by any sense of public justice. My suggestion would be for her to ignore it, if it happens again (it would suggest he's bully) she should respond clearly and concisely leaving no ambiguity that she doesn't appreciate it and will report it if it happens again.

[diddums]

A surprising turn to the thread.

To me it appears that OP was asking a simple question. Was there any expectation that information the student provided to the school would be confidential, and was the teacher breaking any ethical or legal code by using that information to approach a student for a date.

To both parts the answer would seem to be No -at least here in Thailand.

The teacher asking a student out on a date - in person or by phone to me is completely morally reprehensible.

Indeed, the op was after straightforward info and TV's finest are all over him like a cheap suit. If it were me, I wouldn't be jealous, I'd be pissed. Ok, fair enough on the street, but this is a school is it not? It ain't right, cultural phenomenon or no.

Chaps: replace the op's gf with your daughter/granddaughter () and you find out the head is chasing her; how do you feel?

Jesus Jack......no doubt my 32yo daughter or granddaughetr will be chased by many.....I'll be having heart attacks left right and central if I concern meself with every on of em.

[Sheryl]

A surprising turn to the thread.

To me it appears that OP was asking a simple question. Was there any expectation that information the student provided to the school would be confidential, and was the teacher breaking any ethical or legal code by using that information to approach a student for a date.

To both parts the answer would seem to be No -at least here in Thailand.

The teacher asking a student out on a date - in person or by phone to me is completely morally reprehensible.

Indeed, the op was after straightforward info and TV's finest are all over him like a cheap suit. If it were me, I wouldn't be jealous, I'd be pissed. Ok, fair enough on the street, but this is a school is it not? It ain't right, cultural phenomenon or no.

Chaps: replace the op's gf with your daughter/granddaughter () and you find out the head is chasing her; how do you feel?

Unless there is information not provided in the post, it is not even known that the teacher obtained her phone number from school records. He could have gotten it from mutual acquaintances for all anyone knows.

However he got, if all he used it for was to ask her out once I really don't see the big issue given that this is not a young schoolgirl but a grown woman in her 30's. Yes, teachers should not make overtures to or date their students (nor bosses their subordinates) but when it is mature adults on all sides and the parties are not in an immediate teacher-student relationship, I can't see that it is a serious matter.

The issue with teachers dating students relates to (1) implicit coercion and (2) taking advantage of a much younger person. It is not clear if either applies to this situation. . She is an adult, not a teenager or very young woman. From her reported reaction it does not appear she felt any risk in turning him down.