Australian Passport

[Guest The Judge]

A friend has just related another nightmare experience at the hands of customs/immigration in australia. At the end of reading this you will understand the reason for the title.

My friend, a married man with 2 kids in Thailand has just gone back to the land invaded by the pommies, and has just asked me the question I have asked for years; how do I stop being an Australian Passport Holder?

An organisation I know of, called World Service Authority will issue passports to stateless persons, and after what he went through, I am keen to find out more.

He entered australlia via Adelaide, and was subjected to everything except an internal examination. This has also happened to me on the last 2 trips back to where I was born (not home..that is still Thailand).

First he went through immigration, and was marked for a thorough examination. This is the third time in a row for him.

I have had the same experience twice, once just before the Olympics, (a national fiasco sponsored by the incredibly stupid australian government. That was the last time I will go to australia.

He was then "thoroughly checked" by the customs dogs. Both human and canine. The thing in uniform said "sir we found traces of heroin and marijuana on your push bike"

My friend "###### off mate"

The customs/drug sniffer thing "Thank you sir, that was the answer we were looking for"

My friend "why do you ###### wits do this to people"

The thing "you fit the profile sir"

Enough. The australians on this board be aware of the new fascisti in that country. If you are going back to that place, ask yourself "what is the point".

I now understand fully Germaine Greer, who regards it as a rather small minded group of people with no life and no knowledge.

Dumb pricks.

If you want to take your bird or your boyfriend somewhere, tend away from that scum bag filled dump australia, where even australians living in Thailand, forget Thai girlfriends/boyfriends, are treated as though they are definitely carriers of drugs or whatever.

As long as australians vote for that moron howard, it will continue. ###### the place.

[samran]

hehe,

Aussie immigration usually give me a hard time. The second I tell them I live in Thailand, they always take a little longer and ask a few more questions. Once or twice I have been taken aside and ask what I have been doing in Thailand.

A guy I knew at immigration tells me that if peoples names are similar to "wanted" people they will take you aside and double check your details.

Actually, I usually look forward to being hasseled. Kinda fun to play mind games with them. Use their arrogance against them. If they are giving me hassel, I just give that person a Peter Costello-like smirk (puts them off), speaking down to them politely but answering truthfully; which all combines to make them look stupid after all of their superfical assumptions go up in smoke. But thats just me.

[Guest IT Manager]

I am forced to agree with The Judge. I hate going back there. Customs, immigration always make the entry difficult, or downright embarrassing, but a lot is of course, due to the fact that they use below average intelligence employees to save money I guess.

[Thetyim]

Forget about the WSA

Their sales pitch is all hype, you will not get any Visa issued on one.

[Axel]

Believe the customs guys all over the world are the same, at least those assigned to these kind of border duties. The worst treatment is always for returning citizens by their 'own ' customs.

As for the intelligence, IQ of one, but if accompanied by a search-dog a combined IQ of 101

[Pink Mist]

where did my post go?

[Guest IT Manager]

According to WSA the passports have been accepted in over 170 countries. A mate of mine looked at them a few years ago. Not sure how to answer Judges question though.

[Pink Mist]

Not sure how to answer Judges question though.

That wasn't a question by "the fudge" IT, it was pure bullShirt. If he doesn't want to come here good, nobody really would give a shirt, he can go and vegetate with the 500 year old dyke and her dogs ( no decent bloke would come near it) in pommie land. Again I ask where did my post go?

[Guest IT Manager]

Bronco it was a personal attack, neither required nor warranted. If you wish to have a go at what he said, fine, you didn't, you had a shot at him, personally. This isn't the bear pit.

A person makes a post which was rational, and you pull up your stubbies, get a singlet on and let fly.

Not on my watch.

Thanks.

[Pink Mist]

Cummon IT it wasn't even a structured post. I thought this guy is a troller and had a look at his posts 23 or close at the time, and what is this guy coming at. To be honest I still think it was a troll.

[Guest IT Manager]

Hi Bronco,

It isn't your call. It's mine. I made it.

In fact The Judge makes posts almost as erudite as yours, without the footie asides, but that may have its' cause in another area of his nature.

Get over it, get on with it.

IT

[stumonster]

I am Australian, and I love that beautiful land down under, but as for the tribe of peanuts who seem to be increasing in size, they can go and get fcuked....

the majority seem to be tending toward the mindless subset of the world who find american television and movies the epitome of entertainment and who will get scared if there is not a Macdonalds within a block of their vicinity. Even the backbone of our proud country, the men and women from the country are a dying breed, as their children go in search of that farcical happiness that is portrayed on the cathode tube.

Having a leader who is the ultimate yes man, only compounds the problem.

there may be hope on the horizon as more people turn to the internet, become more familiar with it and learn to sidestep the packer snot to really find out what is going on, and not be content with the "news" on tv.

maybe we can go back to the type of people who were forced to think for themselves because of their isolation, with their skills at working something out because of their closeness to reality.

and as for australian immigration, a mate of mine had a similar experience as thejudges mate though with the internal examination, he was taken from sydney airport to the hospital, without being able to inform his parents, who waited at the airport for four hours not knowing where he was.

always give governments and large corporations answers that will fit in the neat little boxes.....

[Pink Mist]

I use Adelaide Airport for most of my visits to LOS and usually there is no problem.

The last time we came in the Xray machine revealed somethings of interest to them so we got searched, they found a knife and telescopic fishing rod and I was told the knife should've been declared( fishing rod was a mystery so they wanted to identify it). I told the guy that I bought the knife in Adelaide and used it for fishing and was only bringing it back with me, apparently technically I was importing it.

To me I am glad these guys are at least trying to patrol our borders and so if I get my bags searched, well big deal, its the new way, get used to it.

One other point of interest, every passengers body language is checked from behind a one way viewing device, at the top of the stairs. If your body language is suspect then thats why the immigration official has had a little chat to you.

Edited February 17, 2004 by bronco

[tuky]

After my first trip LoS several years ago I cannot go through customs at Perth Airport without being tested for drugs, swabbed for drugs and having the information on my mobile phone downloaded. They photocopy any document I have on me, business cards and so forth. Ask about my finances, and how I can afford so many toys (digi cameras, Laptop so forth). My luggage is so thouroughly searched that they find things I thought I lost years ago.

I asked about the mobile phone deal and was told that they have every right to download information off my phone to help ascertain the liklihood of me being a drug trafficker, several trips ago I played a game and got my freind to sms me the most utterly dirty filthy messages you have ever read. Needless to say the woman who took my phone away came back looking a bit green.

I have given up going back to Aust. unless totally necessary, I do not need that hassle, my family do not need to spend the next few days listenning to me rant and rave about it, nor should they have to wait an extra hour after everyone has left for me to be allowed out.

I am with the Judge when I say stuff it, why should I have gooey happy feelings about a place that welcomes me home like that?

The last time I went back the airline had lost my luggage, yep you got it I was still searched tested and swabbed...I didn't have any luggage however. I was waiting in line with a "to and from" who was alone and on her first trip to Aust. she couldn't believe it, she said she was never coming back if this how people are treated.

If there are any people from that government department reading this thread...DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT...

[tuky]

To me I am glad these guys are at least trying to patrol our borders and so if I get my bags searched, well big deal, its the new way, get used to it.

bronco, your right it needs to be done. But it just needs to be handled better.

They need to put a few TV's around playing a beautiful picture of Perth for example, with a soothing, possibly female voice explaining why they are searching everyone, why we need to keep Australia drug, disease and terrorist free, thanking everyone for their co-operation. Maybe have a PR person walking around asking people if they had a pleasent trip, and smiling. It would be just one more interruption, but a more pleasent one than the guy wanting to see your passport.

But what actually happens is they treat you like a drug runner up front, and it is up to you to prove your innocense, they are rude arrogant people who think a tad too highly of themselves.

Just in case you cannot tell, this subject is about the only thing that can get me totally worked up now days, I hate going back to Australia with a passion (love the country, have the front door)!!!

Thanks for helping to start my day on the right note Judge

[Pink Mist]

Luckily have never had that experience, have never entered thru perth either.

[tuky]

Lucky you bronco,

this subject always gets me worked up.

I should be used to it, but it is just the humiliation of it all that bothers me.

If I have been back 10 times in the last 4 years then it has been 10 times that this has happened.

On a lighter note I travelled to HCM with the Singapore Wombats, we played the Saigon Saints (beat em too).

But this was 5/6 years ago and I was with a footy team and they were just opening up, we were hand balling the footy around inside the terminal when 5 foot of officer strode up to the biggest of us (6 foot 6 +) manhandled him, then made us all stand in a straight line, if anyone even smiled he jumped out from his desk and started slapping us in the arms and yelling something at us.

Not the sort of behaviour you would get involved with when your alone, but this was a footy team, and that was just the start of our mischief.

All in all that was the scariest, and yet most enjoyable immigration encounter I have had.

sorry for stealing your thread Judge

a passionate topic for me.

[camel_jockey]

As I've been a flight attendant for the last 9 years(Ansett International and now Gulf Air), here's my advice

1;Dress nicely, jeans and a polo shirt are ok, thongs, singlets, stubbies(with crack) are not, and be smart about it, don't wear a Armani suit coming from LOS.

2;Watch your body language, yes they are watching from all angles, one-way mirrors, camera's, etc.

3;Smile, be polite, when asked a question, LOOK THEM IN THE EYE'S, repeat the question back to them, that way they know your listening, keep looking them in the eye's,don't fidget, answer the question, dont be smart,dont swear, keep smiling.

4;Don't drink to much alcohol on the flight, it makes you look dehydrated, tired, hung-over etc, exactly how a drug user looks!Drink plenty of water.

5;Don't give the crew any grief, as it is very easy to go upto the cockpit and tell the captain that the pax in seat 55k is a prick, I think he's carrying something, I think he/she should be searched, next thing you know he's on the hooter forwarning ground staff!

6;There will always certain flights that will be searched more than others, eg from Thailand, South America and the like, the simple reason being thats where most of the drugs come from.

7;Drink more water

8;Dont talk unless spoken to(to customs/immigration that is)

Personally I've never been searched going into Aus, because i play the game, just think of it as that, a game.When I fly to Aus nearly all the middle eastern crew get hassled, because they just cant keep their mouths shut, telling the customs people to hurry up etc, which only makes them go slower, they dont declare food etc and the list goes on.

Customs/immigration in Aus are rude, arrogant, power freaks, thats why they are there, they are not employed for their customer service skills.They love confrontation, dont give them the oppurtunity and fingers crossed you should be ok

[dr_Pat_Pong]

Yankee customs are worse...and Canadian the worlds worst.

[camel_jockey]

Have to agree with you about the yanks there Doc, going from Canada to the US about 10 years ago I got the full treatment, except for the internal, strip searched, everything emptied, toothpaste, shampoo, they even took my soap for "further testing"!And that was even after i had a 3hr video "interview", lucky I had a long transit made the wait go a bit quicker(flying from Toronto to Orlando and just missed the last flight of the day so spent the night in the airport)The canadian's could not have been nicer, even after over staying my 1 year visa for 4 months!and i was still working during that time too!

[trangfarang]

I am Australian, and I love that beautiful land down under, but as for the tribe of peanuts who seem to be increasing in size, they can go and get fcuked....

the majority seem to be tending toward the mindless subset of the world who find american television and movies the epitome of entertainment and who will get scared if there is not a Macdonalds within a block of their vicinity. Even the backbone of our proud country, the men and women from the country are a dying breed, as their children go in search of that farcical happiness that is portrayed on the cathode tube.

Having a leader who is the ultimate yes man, only compounds the problem.

there may be hope on the horizon as more people turn to the internet, become more familiar with it and learn to sidestep the packer snot to really find out what is going on, and not be content with the "news" on tv.

maybe we can go back to the type of people who were forced to think for themselves because of their isolation, with their skills at working something out because of their closeness to reality.

and as for australian immigration, a mate of mine had a similar experience as thejudges mate though with the internal examination, he was taken from sydney airport to the hospital, without being able to inform his parents, who waited at the airport for four hours not knowing where he was.

always give governments and large corporations answers that will fit in the neat little boxes.....

One of the best posts I have seen for a while. An accurate and succint take of the unthinking majority that inhabit Australia and most of the developed and an increasing amount of the developing world.

Personally I haven't been back for over 2 years, however I am planning a return trip this July. By that time I will not have been back to Oz for nearly 3 years. My passport shows numerous border crossings to Malaysia (3 times) Burma (3 times) Laos (twice) and Cambodia twice, all legitimate. Also I will have been to Japan three times by July, although I have working Visa's to show for these trips. My question is this; Is it reasonable to expect to be detained at immigration for a while? assuming I'm reasonably dressed and can walk in straight line? I will be arriving through Brisbane airport.

I initially intended if hassled about my activities over the past 3 years to claim in a straight-forward manner that I have been training Muslim militants developing WMD's and eating loads of raw chicken. It's not that I think it's funny but that I suffer from an affliction for pissing off narrow-minded fools with a warped idea of thier own self-importance.

Any comments/suggestions would be appreciated

[Nat]

An accurate and succint take of the unthinking majority that inhabit Australia

Reminds me of Germaine Greer's article in The Australian (22 January 2004) called "Slack and insufferable" - caused a stir and even managed to get a critique from little johnny howard . It's an interesting read and can be found on the australian website.

[TizMe]

Wow,

I've just counted the entry stamps in my passports. 12 times in the last 8 years. The most that I have "sufferred" was being asked to take my back pack out of the trolley and put it on the floor so that the beagle can have a sniff...

Have I just been lucky?

[Axel]

Everything written here confirms my original feeling. Own nationals returning to the own country have problems. Coming from LoS does not make it easier. Sin-country with drugs and what have you.

I never had problems going into Australia with my EU-passport. OK, years back I arrived in Melbourne with 600 cigarettes, that's 3 cartons, which I had declared. To my surprise the immigration lady marked it already. At customs I was told that this be too much. I just explained, I brought them for myself, as I son't think that special brand be available, declared it and are willing to pay for duty. Apparently an individual is not allowed to import...

Took some discussion between the guy in charge for me and his superior.

Result, "Sir, it is not allowed, so next time don't do it, Have a nice stay".

[dr_Pat_Pong]

And Axel only went for a week too...loves a fag does our Axel

[Axel]

And Axel only went for a week too...loves a fag does our Axel

Dr. your maths are distorted

3 cartons make only 3 days, not a week

[dr_Pat_Pong]

And Axel only went for a week too...loves a fag does our Axel   

Dr. your maths are distorted

3 cartons make only 3 days, not a week

1,000 apologies dear Axel. I drink too much

[Axel]

1,000 apologies dear Axel. I drink too much

No problem there, Dr.

Karl Marx (?) said: "Work is the curse of the drinking class".

[Pink Mist]

And Axel only went for a week too...loves a fag does our Axel   

Dr. your maths are distorted

3 cartons make only 3 days, not a week

the doc was confused he thinks 3 cartons of beer = 3days

[dr_Pat_Pong]

That is only while I await deliveries