45 Year Old Vs 25 Year Old

[Judecalling]

Yes well ... i detect a little love in the the air Falang 1969 ; ) - and given your track record (stated) might be things are a little different for you this time. None of us ever know - we all go 'helter skelter' ... and ain't it great. : )

However ....

Love shouldn't leave you financially dissolved... just broken hearted if it doesn't work out ... that should be the price and that alone - that is bad enough lol. What is on your mind here .... marriage after a few weeks ?? I don't understand where your trust issues are coming from (the usual accepted - but you don't sound like someone who 'falls for it') ... except for the fact that you must be imagining grand things. ?? Just enjoy the flourish of love and sign nothing .... not to say that you shouldn't act Gentlemanly. You'll see things as they are with time.

Hope it's a winner for you and best.

(excuse all typos ...tired

[Loptr]

20 years is a bit of a stretch on the age gap.

[sustento]

Why are you asking anonymous strangers about your future? Are you not capable of making your own decisions?

[canman]

Can't be bothered reading through all the usual TV negitive dross when this subject comes up so will answer the ops question.

Yes it is possible. My wife is 21 years my junior. We have been married for 7 years now. We have the usual relationship ups and downs but all in all I wouldn't change anything. It's all about mutual respect and communication, just like any other human relationship.

[doji]

Dear Mr Farang1969.

So why are you asking us? What sort of answers are you looking for?

You`re probably big enough and ugly enough to make your own judgements and just like the rest of us peasants on here, whatever you do, you do at your own risk and discretion..

If you re-read the OP post again, No he’s not here asking for advices (unless the positive ones)

I think he’s here seeking or hoping for “the validation” of what he’s about to do.

If we were all to to say NO NO NO….then he will say BUT BUT BUT…..

Sometimes you just can’t confuse people with some facts.

[guzzi850m2]

OP, regarding the age difference it's not too much but perhaps on the limit.

My wife and I have 16 years difference and that works fine, only problem I

have is that she wants more kids. I am 51 years old now and we got a lovely

3.5 year old son, but my wife would like two more children.

I told her if we get another child then that would be the last one, no way I am

putting kids in this world when I am +55 years old.

[yourauntbob]

Only thing that matters is do you like her and does she like you.

Problems will only come if you are embarrassed to be seen with her or she is embarrassed to be seen with you.

If the first is a yes and the second is a no then live a little and have some fun!

[Bangkokhatter]

I would be a bit concerned that she has had not much relationship history and has not enjoyed her youth and may resent it later . At 25 she is maybe a bit too young for the 20 year age gap, but at 30 it may not be the same problem.

I would go for it personally, have had a 9 year age gap before and currently with a girl 11 years my junior and age was never an issue, but neither were 25 when we met.

[FunFon]

So, is there anyone out there who has had a successful relationship with a 20 year age gap?

-

Sure, I have, and much larger gaps than that. All depends on how you define "success".

Do you expect "for richer and poorer, sickness and health, 'til death do us part"?

If so, I personally think that's unreasonable even if you're marrying someone the same age culture education class etc.

The age difference thing is a very minor part of the overall equation determining your odds of success. IMO never mind about the statistical survey analysis, think for yourself, protect your interests and go along as long as what you're getting back is in the same ballpark as what you're putting in.

When (if?) the balance starts to tip the other direction, then my advice is to give it a good shot to try to turn things around, but if not then cut your losses sooner rather than later.

Don't shell out a whole lot (more than you can afford) up front in the expectation that it will all come back to you at some future point down the road. And I'm not just talking about money.

If you get a few nice years out of it together, maybe even a decade or two, then you're certainly ahead of the game compared to most.

[NeverSure]

20 years is a bit of a stretch on the age gap.

I agree. It's a whole lot more fun when it's 30+ years. Stretching it back to 20 is hard to do. Just don't marry them.

[jambco984]

get girl that makes the same amount you get a month, then atleast you can share on everything and you never get bored dating poor girls? i notice some hi-so girls takes better care of you then poor issan-girls..

Is that the best you have got? I also notice that some Hiso girls just sit in front of a mirror or phone all day taking pics of herself! Waiting for Mr Rich Thai to take care of her! No she is not your "normal" poor Issan girl! Lives nowhere near Issan (not that there is anything wrong with an Isaan girl!) In fact, dated one a few months ago who owned her own English school worked in the UK for a few years and worked hard to get where she is today, a successful business woman earning 500k a month and employing around 10 staff, 27 years old and spoke perfect English and passionate about it...was she Hiso? Not at all!

Doris in Issan earning 500k a month and employing 10 staff, 27 years old etc...

Does she come from Ubon by any chance? I know a similar Doris in Ubon.

Sent from my GT-N7000B using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

[NeverSure]

My experience is that people keep marrying the same type of person over and over even if it's the wrong type. God, I had a sister in law who married every loser in town. All were abusive but she just kept coming back for more.

A lot of guys are codependent rescuers. They get their jollies by fixing gals, but the gals never fix. They just wind up with mental cases, not realizing that something must be wrong with them to cause them to make that choice. Same is true with women. A lot are rescuers who are going to reform a guy.

I'm happy that I know it's a lot cheaper to rent. I'm too old to start with kids and all that again. It's nice being single.

[Loptr]

20 years is a bit of a stretch on the age gap.

I agree. It's a whole lot more fun when it's 30+ years. Stretching it back to 20 is hard to do. Just don't marry them.

I agree if you are playing catch and release. I guess the difference is whether you are looking for a partner or a pet.

[villagefarang]

Is there anyone out there who has had a successful relationship with a 20 year age gap? The short answer, yes! She was 25 and I was 45 when we married but we had already been together for two years.

I know everyone says their situation is “different”, to the point it has developed into a standing joke. We may not be “different” but we are certainly not the norm.

We got married at an Amphur in Bangkok and told our families after the fact. No Sin Sot, no children, no wedding ceremony or party, not even a housewarming party ten years later when we finally did build our little house. I seem to remember it being 6 years before I bought her a wedding ring, as well. We spent a good portion of the first seven years of marriage traveling, before we decided to settle down to a more domestic lifestyle.

On paper the two of us shouldn’t have lasted a year but 15 years later and we are still very much in love, as well as being best friends. We are not carbon copies of each other but we enjoy doing things together and there is a kind of synergy to our relationship.

I would say age is the least of your worries. There are more important questions to be asked.

Edited April 10, 2013 by villagefarang

[chrisinth]

Establish the relationship! Live together for a while and find out if you are good together before rushing out and doing something stupid that you will regret for the rest of your time together.

You say you have been in Thailand for 8 years, wrote the book, got the T-shirt, etc? Unless you have been shackled to the bar for all that time, you should know yourself how it goes, what the pitfalls are..........

There are only 3 years difference between myself and Mrs. Chrisinth, but 14+ years ago it could have been very different! If that were the case, I could have contributed more for you.

Take it slow, live together and enjoy!

[animatic]

My Mrs is 20 years younger, we have been happy for 8 years.

She never worked bars, just sold clothes and bags, went to church,

Went dancing with the girls some weekends.

It is entirely possible to find a nice lady who, appreciates your maturity and stability,

over the typically irresponsible 'acts' of the younger 'men' around her in the previous portion of her life.

[nontabury]

20 years is a bit of a stretch on the age gap.

Know of two very happy couples,were the age difference is more than 30years,one couple been together for over 11yrs,now have

3 children,the other couple together over 6yrs,now have two children. Would add that neither of the wives is ex-bar,one comes from the very south of Thailand the other from the very north of essan, both girls none uni education,one of them worked in a factory when she met her future Farang husband.

The OP says his g/f could Speak fairly good English when they met,this to me would make me a bit cautious,not saying it's impossible for a Uni girl to be able to speak good English,but just be carefull.

[Bosse137]

After quickreading the posters I had to go back and check the OP;did he ask whether TV members thought he should trust this woman OR did he ask what we thought about the age difference. It is the latter! Me and my missus have a 20 year age difference and we are in our 21 th year together! Non of us ever think of the gap in age,why should we? OK,she is a bit old now,but what the heck! (joke)

[Bpuumike]

Can't be bothered reading through all the usual TV negitive dross when this subject comes up so will answer the ops question.

Yes it is possible. My wife is 21 years my junior. We have been married for 7 years now. We have the usual relationship ups and downs but all in all I wouldn't change anything. It's all about mutual respect and communication, just like any other human relationship.

Good sensible post.

Mine is 21 years younger too and the age gap has never been a problem, though she had to give it a lot of thought initially.

[FDog]

The only concern of an age gap is if it concerns either you or her. What anyone else thinks is of no consequence.

I've had a relationship with a farang girl who was about 17 years younger than me. We are still great friends.

Now with a Thai gf who is 26 years younger than me. Both are great girls, both are more mature than me.

Just enjoy it, and yes, it can work.

[jaapfries]

@Falang1969:

I am not at all surprised at the skeptical & derogatory statements from some of the posters here, because they have been 'hurt' badly by their Thai' GFs.

IMHO, a relationship is only as good & valuable as what both people, in that relationship, contribute to it. In (too) many instances, it seems that many Falang believe they are the proverbial "Kid-in-the-Candy-Store" and think it is normal to have relations outside of the home-relationship. This does not work in any country, much less in Thailand.

I have lived/worked in Thailand for over 21 years and I have understood that many Thai' girls )at least the ones with more than 1/2 a brain !) have figured-out that Thai' Men, in general, are NOT a faithful breed when it comes to extramarital activities.

"Real" women do NOT want to put up with it and hence they have decided that a relationship with a "decent" Falang is a far better option for them.

From what you wrote about your young lady, I believe that you might just be on to a good one !

The mere fact that she completed University (Possibly Chemistry Sce. Bachelor, by the sounds of it) is highly admirable, especially if she hails from very modest beginnings. She probably worked her way to school and actually achieved the degree; that is a huge accomplishment !

I have been married to my Thai dream-girl for 20 years: our age-difference is 24 years and this has never ever been an issue. She is the single best thing that has ever happened to me and a steady rock, through thick & thin ! ! !

When we first met, she could speak only 3 words of English; but she loved to learn & study: today she is 3 months away from her Ramkamhaeng Law Degree (LLB), which was preceded by a Bachelor's in Business Administration at the Dusit Uni.

The secret of success in ANY relationship ?

1. Utter respect

2. Total Loyalty

3. Total trust

I am already anticipating all the negative "Basher-Posters" to try and take a piece out of me, but I simply tell them 2 things:

1. We've been happily married for over 20 years, without any dramas

2. I AM a totally faithful man and I have NEVER cheated on my woman

So; Falang1969: perhaps you don't realize it yet, but you may just be on the verge of being as incredibly lucky as what I was/am.

My advice: Give it a good effort and remember some of the above stuff I

Good luck ! !

JF

[falang1969]

Can't be bothered reading through all the usual TV negitive dross when this subject comes up so will answer the ops question.

Yes it is possible. My wife is 21 years my junior. We have been married for 7 years now. We have the usual relationship ups and downs but all in all I wouldn't change anything. It's all about mutual respect and communication, just like any other human relationship.

Good sensible post.

Mine is 21 years younger too and the age gap has never been a problem, though she had to give it a lot of thought initially.

Can't be bothered reading through all the usual TV negitive dross when this subject comes up so will answer the ops question.

Yes it is possible. My wife is 21 years my junior. We have been married for 7 years now. We have the usual relationship ups and downs but all in all I wouldn't change anything. It's all about mutual respect and communication, just like any other human relationship.

Good sensible post.

Mine is 21 years younger too and the age gap has never been a problem, though she had to give it a lot of thought initially.

Thank you for some positive responses, correct I am not talking about trust, I am talking about the age gap and you have answered the question.

[falang1969]

You mean I've kept reading all this and you're never going to tell us why things did not work out with the 27 year-old 500K per month non-HiSo Isaan girl?

Easy one, stayed with her a few days and she was way to committed to her work than having a relationship...I was almost like a 'spare part' or 'play thing'....actually felt a little inferior to her which is not my thing! Still, had fun for a few days.

[falang1969]

Why are you asking anonymous strangers about your future? Are you not capable of making your own decisions?

Of course I am, but much more fun getting some feedback from some worldy and knowledgable TV members. Also, thought it would make a good topic of conversation, rather than who sells the best Pizza.

[falang1969]

Only thing that matters is do you like her and does she like you.

Problems will only come if you are embarrassed to be seen with her or she is embarrassed to be seen with you.

If the first is a yes and the second is a no then live a little and have some fun!

Question 1 - Yes

Question 2 - Not at all, for either of us.

I do not look or act my age and she is more mature for her age than your average Thai giggling 24 year old!

[falang1969]

Yes well ... i detect a little love in the the air Falang 1969 ; ) - and given your track record (stated) might be things are a little different for you this time. None of us ever know - we all go 'helter skelter' ... and ain't it great. : )

However ....

Love shouldn't leave you financially dissolved... just broken hearted if it doesn't work out ... that should be the price and that alone - that is bad enough lol. What is on your mind here .... marriage after a few weeks ?? I don't understand where your trust issues are coming from (the usual accepted - but you don't sound like someone who 'falls for it') ... except for the fact that you must be imagining grand things. ?? Just enjoy the flourish of love and sign nothing .... not to say that you shouldn't act Gentlemanly. You'll see things as they are with time.

Hope it's a winner for you and best.

(excuse all typos ...tired

Good post. My previous 5 year relationship was relatively ok....but did kind of do the 'falang' thing although I was always 'on the ball' and certainly would never 'fall for it'......far too cautious, maybe too cautious for that! Probably why I have never been married or had kids yet but always been in a relationship. Now at 45 looking to maybe settle and have a few kids and the idea of a few kids with someone who has no 'luggage' or ex-husbands with a good girl does seem quite appealing!

[canman]

Only thing that matters is do you like her and does she like you.

Problems will only come if you are embarrassed to be seen with her or she is embarrassed to be seen with you.

If the first is a yes and the second is a no then live a little and have some fun!

Question 1 - Yes

Question 2 - Not at all, for either of us.

I do not look or act my age and she is more mature for her age than your average Thai giggling 24 year old!

Canmans rule: If you have not grown up by the time you hit 50, you don't have to!

[falang1969]

get girl that makes the same amount you get a month, then atleast you can share on everything and you never get bored dating poor girls? i notice some hi-so girls takes better care of you then poor issan-girls..

Is that the best you have got? I also notice that some Hiso girls just sit in front of a mirror or phone all day taking pics of herself! Waiting for Mr Rich Thai to take care of her! No she is not your "normal" poor Issan girl! Lives nowhere near Issan (not that there is anything wrong with an Isaan girl!) In fact, dated one a few months ago who owned her own English school worked in the UK for a few years and worked hard to get where she is today, a successful business woman earning 500k a month and employing around 10 staff, 27 years old and spoke perfect English and passionate about it...was she Hiso? Not at all!

Doris in Issan earning 500k a month and employing 10 staff, 27 years old etc...

Does she come from Ubon by any chance? I know a similar Doris in Ubon.

Sent from my GT-N7000B using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

You are correct, we are talking about the same girl!

[falang1969]

"The OP says his g/f could Speak fairly good English when they met,this to me would make me a bit cautious,not saying it's impossible for a Uni girl to be able to speak good English,but just be careful."

When I say good English, I mean just school/Uni level education English, by no means does she speak 'good' English! My ex spoke far better English but came with the issues associated with her background.

[falang1969]

Some really good responses from everyone, appreciated. Not that I was looking for a definitive answer from TV, just other peoples experience regarding AGE.

Will keep you all posted and will invite you all to the wedding!