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At Least This Year's Election Will Be Interesting.


davidm

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If, like me, you believe virtually all politicians are corrupt buffoons, the only reason for paying them any attention is their entertainment value. This year's US presidential election should be more entertaining than most, regardless of who wins.

The Democrats have raised the issue of Bush's national guard service during the Vietnam War. They have very short memories as Slick Willy's record was a disgrace.

The Republicans have responded by publicising John Kerry's two year affair with Alex Polier. Polier's father has been quoted as calling Kerry a sleazeball.

Actually, Kerry's war record is more of a liability. He may have been a hero in the 60s, but while Bush was flying jets in Texas, Kerry was protesting against the Vietnam War standing right beside Jane Fonda. Throw in the fact that as a senator, he's voted against every new weapons system proposed for the military and those vets who have endorsed his campaign will probably regret their actions later on in the season.

There is plenty of ammunition against Kerry that could make him a wretched candidate if he wins the nomination.

Meanwhile, Howard Dean is staying in the race as a sort of I-told-you-so candidate. His chances of winning an election are almost zero, but he'd be fun to watch for a while.

It looks like the Democrats will reveal that Bush drove a girlfriend to an abortion clinic in the 70s. Hard to say how the Republicans will respond, but capturing Osama Bin Laden in late October is a distinct possibility.

Bush has more money at his disposal than any previous presidential candidate. If Kerry is nominated, he'll be given millions by Americans who absolutely hate Bush and want to see him out at any cost.

I have a feeling Kerry will lose the confidence of his party at some point between now and the summer, and as Dean is not even close to being presidential, the party will ask someone else to stand. Either Hillary Clinton or Al Gore (possibly both, with Hillary as VP candidate) will be asked to save them from certain defeat.

This may be incredibly boring to most non-Americans, but as the election is like a non-stop soap opera which you can't switch off, we might as well make the best of it and enjoy the spectacle.

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Don't forget, when Gore was running in 2000, his team considered Kerry as a running mate. They dropped him like a steaming hot dog turd after a quick investigation. It seems this is why Gore endorsed Howlin' Howard, and why Dean is staying in the race despite the pummelling he's received at the polls.

Kerry is an out and out weirdo. Stories about his titanium comb which is fed-exed to every stop on his campaign are not very inspiring. Can you imagine someone interrupting one of his grooming sessions to tell him Al Quaeda had blown up the Empire State Building.

"Not now, godamnit. Can't you see I'm combing my hair?"

Kerry's wife will pull him out of the race if she's had enough. She already threatened in public that if he was caught having an affair she would maim him. Not kill. Maim. She was very clear on that point. Watching the Ketchup Kid get castrated in public would make great television if you're not squeamish.

I blame it all on the Swiss private education system.

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Bush has been president for four years and his national guard stint is just now becoming an issue? I don't think so. I'm pretty sure they went over this one last time he ran too. Not a great military career, but at least he served. And heck, he does have 4 years experience as commander-in-chief. Last time I checked that was the senior postion in the chain of command.

Kerry's service speaks for itself. As for his anti-war stance regarding Vietnam, well, I guess that he had as much right to speak up as anyone and probably a bit more knowledge about what was happening over there than most. I might be a bit concerned about his view of the Iraq adventure. I want to hear more about how he feels about it and what his view to finishing and exiting Iraq would be.

Last news I heard (DrudgeReport) was that the girl (woman, whatever) involved says she didn't have an affair with Kerry, but with one of his staffers. She's currently "hiding out at" or "visiting" her prospective in-laws in Nigeria. It is beginning to sound like a tempest in a teapot. Equivalent of Bush's NG stint.

Dean, at this point, has as much chance of getting the nomination as Bullwinkle. My guess is that Kerry takes it with everyone dis'ing everyone else. Sanitation workers will be pulling double overtime to clean the place up after the next election due to all the mud slinging and poo flinging.

Jeepz

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