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Living With A Bar Girl In Pattaya


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Posted

Pattaya city council:lol

Since we are now part of your story, what exactly does she do at the council? You know just incase your family ever ask us we need to get the facts straight now.

it could be believable she is the head honcho doing the road and landscape improvents on beach road. No skill or qualifications are needed for that fiasco

Posted

I actually think it is a growing trend for guys staying (long term) in Pattaya to have a girl that is still working 'bar'

I know of 3 or 4 girls in Soi 6 alone

Its funny because the same thing happens all over the world

My friend runs a lap dance club in Central London - and if you watch at closing time a lot of the girls have boyfriends who are collecting them at the end of their shift

I think with the strong baht and dwindling funds a lot of guys will accept a TG that works bar in order to remain there

For the girl there is an upside the kudos that they have a boyfriend who accepts what they do - its all about face with the other girls - especially in Soi 6 which is working bar to the extreme

  • Like 1
Posted

It is a matter of accepting that a prostitute is in the service industry, just like hair cutters and masseuses and freight forwarders are. In many Western countries this is no longer a taboo job and in Germany for instance prostitutes are paying to the social welfare (and are insured through it) just like any other employee or freelancing professional.

If someone chooses to live with a prostitute then so be it. If they do share their income to make a living, then I cannot see any problem with it as you would do that also if your were together with a hair cutter, masseuse or freight forwarder. Pimping means that you live off the proceeds of prostitutes and you solicit their services. As I understand the OP none of it applies here.

Your problem is, that your morals (or what you think that they are) do not match reality.

Posted

For the girl there is an upside the kudos that they have a boyfriend who accepts what they do -

Really ? Seem's unlikely that there would be much kudos to be gained from having a slacker TEFL bf who is happy for his bird to continue working as a hooker.

Different story to those guys that meet a girl in a bar, they hit it off and she then stops working as a hooker.

One can only imagine the conversations in this couples house when she clocks off after a busy shift with a couple of johns ?

  • Like 1
Posted

lol, Pattaya City Council. Great cover story! Safe to assume she will never meet your family.

I once heard that the definition of a yacht is any boat you own that the person you're talking to is never likely to see. I dunno, it just popped into my head. Anyway, I'm glad you are happy together as long as you are realistic about your future prospects.

I like your definition of a yacht!!!

Posted

This does not help me getting a better opinion of you, Funfon,

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And of course attaining that blessed state should be my mission in life?

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How many did you live with? The fact that you've had many relationships with sex-workers should be enough to demonstrate the futility of them. They are not a long term proposition.

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Anywhere between two and two thousand, depending on how many nights sleeping together you define as "live with".

In most cases a long-term relationship was not the goal.

But one involved over twenty years of marriage and children, and the fact that she chose to do sex work for a time was completely irrelevant to the relationship as a whole, as well as independent of any question of character or morality IMO.

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If he can sweet-talk a landlady to allow him to live for free for 12 months, he probably can sweet-talk anyone for anything. I owe him a certain amount of respect as this is a rare talent.

Or mabe he was an alert observer, that has come to the conclusion, that a large number of Farangs are beeing taken "to the cleaners" every day by Thai-Ladies and has therefore decided to turn around "the spear".smile.png

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I never "sweet talked" the landlady, she simply didn't keep track of the account where the money gets deposited for years at a time. Her decision to not take drastic action once she discovered the shortfall was entirely her own, all I did was state the facts of my situation and directly ask for her patience, and since then I have been very diligent, paying 130% of the nominal rent on the dot every month and so it's been for the past eight months.

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You need to focus on what I was replying to. Funfon stated "I've lived with many sex-workers". That's hardly a promotion for long-term success, is it?

I think the idea of promoting relationships with sex workers on the basis of a few apparently successful examples you've seen is rubbish. Better to err on the side of caution and find love elsewhere.

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Who's "promoting"?

I suppose you think school teachers that happen to be gay and make statements about what they see as the facts about that issue are "promoting" homosexuality?

My position is that what an adult chooses to do with their body is nobody's business but their own, and not a question of morality unless what they do harms others.

Being a sex worker may correlate with a higher likelihood to engage in immoral activity, but of course that's true (IMO even more so) for other professions like lawyer politician or high officer of an international corporation.

That doesn't make the person choosing that profession morally suspect in and of their choice itself, each person should be judged as the unique individual they are and by the effects of their actions in the world on those around them ("by their fruit").

However I completely agree that those desiring a long-term relationship with a sweet sincere TG should completely avoid the sex industry, purely from a pragmatic "playing the odds" POV.

For the same reason I completely avoid girls that have had any contact with foreigners, any exposure to the Internet or any knowledge of English.

But that's me - others consider that a bit extreme, or have other reasons for not preferring cuties straight off the rice farm.

However for someone already in a committed relationship with someone who happens to be a sex worker, if that's working out for him so far, he's getting back good value for what he's putting in, then more power to him and keep on keeping on unless/until the balance starts to tip the other way. . .

  • Like 1
Posted (edited)

jbrain, on 13 Apr 2013 - 21:05, said:

No, let's face the real facts. The OP states in his first post that he loves her, while at the same time he says she's still working everyday. And as he says that she earns approx 35K a month from work, I doubt she's serving drinks only.

If you loved a girl, would you accept that ? Back under the bridge

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Millions and millions of people live in loving long-term relationships that allow for either or both partner to have sex with others, it's a completely normal and accepted cultural pattern throughout the history of mankind except where monotheistic religions have teamed up with repressive elites to try to control the behaviour of the masses.

Sex and real love, while very nice when they happen (often only briefly) to coincide, are completely separate phenomena.

And IMO best kept that way by any rational system of morality, as opposed to mindless acceptance of mainstream social brainwashing.

Of course a man can be a "real man" and a fine upstanding moral person while accepting the fact that his wife is having sex with as many other people as she chooses for whatever reasons. For his sake I hope she shows him the same level of understanding, within whatever boundaries they have defined for their relationship - which of course is no one's business but their own.

Edited by FunFon
  • Like 2
Posted

Often past events define people's attitudes and behaviours with the past behaviours indicating future behaviours. Events such as working as a BG might be in the past, but due consideration to that past life and its future effects is worth thinking about IMO.

When we meet any potential partner there are a whole lot of uncertainties that we, as individuals, need to overcome. That's the main reasons why we date, ask them questions, consider their answers, meet their friends, meet their families, learn their likes and dislikes, ascertain whether or not we are compatible. The getting-to-know-you stage can be very exciting and challenging for both parties.

If the girl worked as an escort previously or had numerous lovers in the past, those are the things that need to be carefully considered. A lot of guys might immediately lose interest in her with those type revelations. Some guys might find that her sordid past is an attraction, with other guys only concerned with how she interacts with him and not worrying about her past.

To each their own. That is why we are getting so many different views in this thread. Different attitudes together with different lifestyles is what makes the world go 'round.

  • Like 1
Posted

The OP's family and friends can't tell the difference between a Thai hooker and a city hall worker? Maybe ignorance is bliss after all.

However, all may come undone when she hollers "hello Hamsun man, you come here, looking is free" at the OP's mates.

It's your life and hers, if you can take the consequences including the judgemental stares and tut tutting and exclusion from your normal circles (or some may call support network), then good luck to you both.

Posted

The OP's family and friends can't tell the difference between a Thai hooker and a city hall worker? Maybe ignorance is bliss after all.

However, all may come undone when she hollers "hello Hamsun man, you come here, looking is free" at the OP's mates.

It's your life and hers, if you can take the consequences including the judgemental stares and tut tutting and exclusion from your normal circles (or some may call support network), then good luck to you both.

Most of the people I know, back home haven't a clue what's happening in Thailand.

If they did, most of the men would be moving out here.

If you pressed people, some would mention paedophiles, but the bar scene, no idea.

  • Like 2
Posted

In regard to the other tack: he doesn't work at the international school here in Pattaya. Teachers at the international school don't earn 35000 a month.

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Most of the thousands of schools in Thailand that pass themselves off as "international" pay in exactly that range. Even some that the MoE defines that way do, although less than half.

You and I know they don't even come close to what we would call "true international schools", but that's a completely personal and arbitrary definition isn't it, I personally don't think there are more than a dozen in the whole kingdom, but many would disagree.

And conversely note that some government-run English/International Programme schools pay well over double that rate as well - teacher pay is actually one of the few objective indicators of quality in education here, unfortunately as very rare commodity in my experience.

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How many of the Thai girls that you know start their sexual working life at age 14 and continue through to age 30? Not many I bet.

I've been visiting Pattaya for much of my adult life and it is rare to see the same working girl from one year to the next. They are either snapped up by eager farangs and taken out of the industry, or they return home to their village with their money to set up a small business.

I think there may be a flaw in your estimated numbers.

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I completely agree with the overall spirit of your post, but would like to report from my experience that many many many TBGs keep working well past their sell-by date.

I've recently been visiting a customer with an apartment on Sukhumvit on a soi with many cheap apartment blocks, and have been greeted in the street by literally a dozen BGs I used to play pool with 14 years ago over a period of three months. And most of them were over thirty back then, and basically look the same now.

And anyone walking around these areas at night has seen "girls" working the bars that are probably past 60.

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  • Like 1
Posted

Let's face it, the op is lying to his family and is happy to let his gf get shagged rotten by drunk farangs and then get back in his bed for him to have a ride.

He's another idiot farang that's lost the plot and needs to get back to reality.

Enough said.

....that pretty much sums it up !!
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From the OP: "............. She was a bar girl then and still is. The difference is that back then I was on holiday, but we stayed in touch. Now I live with her. I love her, absolutely no question about it. I know what she does when she goes to work, no problem. I was just one of her many customers......"

The reality is that you still are. I am not sure how that makes you feel, but if you really "love" her, as you say you do, it should make you sick. I would have thought that it would make you hate her, and hate yourself even more for allowing this to continue (maybe even encouraging it) after you have developed a relationship (I use that word very loosely) with her. If those feelings haven't surfaced yet, I have no doubt that they will in due time. Pity for the OP? None here -- he has "Eyes Wide Shut". I expect that sometime in the future there will be a story in the Pattaya rags about the OP taking the "PP" -- people will ask "why?". This crap is "why...".

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Feel sorry for anyone who thinks this way.

Plus if the family is going to judge my chosen partner in a negative way based on irrational prejudices then there's no obligation to share that information with them is there.

lol, Pattaya City Council. Great cover story! Safe to assume she will never meet your family.

I once heard that the definition of a yacht is any boat you own that the person you're talking to is never likely to see. I dunno, it just popped into my head. Anyway, I'm glad you are happy together as long as you are realistic about your future prospects.

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Believe it or not, there are some families that are tolerant on this question and would be happy to accept into their fold anyone that their member has chosen to love.

Posted

Does sharing her income from the Farang sending it make you a PIMP ??

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Actually an interesting question of morality IMO, setting aside the implication that the term is inherently prejorative.

I personally would say that only a person actively involved in marketing their partner's services would fit the bill. The fact that the law in some jurisdiction defines the term so as to include "living from the proceeds" is I believe a practical measure to make convictions under these idiotic laws easier for the authorities, similar in spirit to using income tax evasion to put drug dealers away for very long terms while the bankers walk free.

  • Like 2
Posted

>How many of the Thai girls that you know start their sexual working life at age 14 and continue through to age 30? Not many I bet.

I've been visiting Pattaya for much of my adult life and it is rare to see the same working girl from one year to the next. They are either snapped up by eager farangs and taken out of the industry, or they return home to their village with their money to set up a small business.

I think there may be a flaw in your estimated numbers.

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I completely agree with the overall spirit of your post, but would like to report from my experience that many many many TBGs keep working well past their sell-by date.

I've recently been visiting a customer with an apartment on Sukhumvit on a soi with many cheap apartment blocks, and have been greeted in the street by literally a dozen BGs I used to play pool with 14 years ago over a period of three months. And most of them were over thirty back then, and basically look the same now.

And anyone walking around these areas at night has seen "girls" working the bars that are probably past 60.

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No doubt about it. You are quite correct.

Take a walk along Beach Road and/or check out the girls working the day shift in many of the beer bars, and you'll see what happens to these girls who never meet their Prince Charming, or who have no intention of changing their ways. In the overall scheme of things, however, these 'past the use by date' girls are a very low percentage of the industry's girls. The vast majority are new, fresh girls.

You can also find some of yesteryears girls working small beer bars, not as employees, but as owners.

I'd be interested to know how many of the 60 year old sex workers are still bumping and grinding their stuff on chrome poles in gogo bars. That would be an attraction I think I could do without.

Posted

I think there are lots of people in the same boat. Don't wish to burst your bubble but I've never seen it work long-term. I've seen people stay together long-term but that were clearly unhappy. If it works for you then that's great but as mentioned I've never met anyone who's had a healthy relationship with a bar-girl survive over the years. I just assumed it wasn't possible.

HMMM - Obviously newbies - you weren't here in the 60's, when American GIs married Thai girls by the hundreds. True, not all were bar girls, but many were. Some had been sex workers and some not.

By the way, This is Thailand, where a term like "BAR GIRL" does not necessarily mean "Sex Worker"...

In the 60's, 70's, 80's and on, I met many "Bar Girls" who never went with customers. Some were even shocked that their co-workers would do such things.

  • Like 1
Posted

Well what morals teachers in International Schools have. Can you image this low moral leach is teaching your children in the number one schools

Thank God my children and grand children and 5 great grand children do not go to that schools or I will look for him.

I will feed his &&&& to ducks what is stopping all you fathers out their fin him

Posted

Does sharing her income from the Farang sending it make you a PIMP ??

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Actually an interesting question of morality IMO, setting aside the implication that the term is inherently prejorative.

I personally would say that only a person actively involved in marketing their partner's services would fit the bill. The fact that the law in some jurisdiction defines the term so as to include "living from the proceeds" is I believe a practical measure to make convictions under these idiotic laws easier for the authorities, similar in spirit to using income tax evasion to put drug dealers away for very long terms while the bankers walk free.

It's not a question of morality, it's a question of law. I don't know if Thailand has laws against living off the proceeds of immoral earnings or not.

The term Pimp is not perjorative. There is no suggestion that the OP solicits clients on her behalf so the term pimp may not be appropriate. But he does admit to part living off her earnings,

You may consider the laws idiotic, especially given your propensity for co-habiting with several sex workers (which could have led to charges) but that does not change the law. There are strong argunments for legalizing prostitution and equally strong for not. However, the law is the law until changed. How it gets enforced is another matter.

Posted
Some interesting posts. I just want to say that my post is not a troll post.

My GF is a bar girl. I accept it and enjoy the money that goes with her work. Does that make me a pimp? Possibly, but I don't force her to do what she does.

And I really do only earn 35k THB a month at an international school in Pattaya - salaries in Pattaya are especially low because there's a huge over supply of teachers wanting to live here, so the employers take advantage.

And I do occasionally enjoy the company of other ladies too.

Life's too short so I just get on with it and try to have a bit of fun.

and these are the sort of people that are teaching in thai schools no wonder the education system sucks here.

Sent from my GT-P7500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Posted

Some interesting posts. I just want to say that my post is not a troll post.

My GF is a bar girl. I accept it and enjoy the money that goes with her work. Does that make me a pimp? Possibly, but I don't force her to do what she does.

And I really do only earn 35k THB a month at an international school in Pattaya - salaries in Pattaya are especially low because there's a huge over supply of teachers wanting to live here, so the employers take advantage.

And I do occasionally enjoy the company of other ladies too.

Life's too short so I just get on with it and try to have a bit of fun.

and these are the sort of people that are teaching in thai schools no wonder the education system sucks here.

Sent from my GT-P7500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

You are right to say the education system in Thailand is generally quite poor.

I simply follow the UK's IGCSE (International General Certificate of Secondary Education) curriculum and do my best to raise standards.

The majority of my students are mixed race - Thai mothers and foreign fathers, often quite old fathers. I don't judge them or moralise.

  • Like 1
Posted

I've lived with many sex workers, two long-term and several outside of the Thai context, and can't say there's any one generalisation that holds that isn't based more on society's and your own attitude toward that trade rather than anything inherent in the people that do that work.

It seems to me that yours is open enough to deal with the challenges, and never mind what your family might think.

In my case my parents never new - she was a trained nurse originally and used that as a cover - and they very much loved and respected her.

Several of our friends and neighbors were involved in the business and within that circle were some of the best human beings it's been my privilege to know. Just like the drug trade, most of the negative consequences come from the legal prohibition and religious-social disapproval from IMO small-minded judgmental people. My ex has been very active in advocating for sex-workers' rights in Victoria and I believe one day the movement will have the same level of respectability and success that LGBT has seen in recent years.

I commend you and wish you best of luck, don't let the bastards get you down.

Is this the reason why you have to get out of Thailand to escape your creditors?

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/632473-enforcement-of-thai-debts-on-my-way-out/

One good reason why not to become involved in commercially pay as you go relationships.

All very nice living the high life and having numerous female temporary partners for those who can afford it and brushing aside the health risks as if they don`t exist.

It is irrelevant whether a partner has worked in the sex industry or not. What matters are the true meanings of a present partner relationship. Is it simply lust or love within a loyal union between two people? Anyone who is content with their partner would never contemplate having sexual encounters with other people, whether commercially or just for the fun of it. If a relationship really means something to them, they could go and get a job in a seven eleven or even work on a noodle stall if need be. If they make excuses for having to work in the sex industry, than this means they consider money and keeping ties within their institutionalized lifestyles as first and settling down as a nice little housewife will be at the lower end of they’re priorities.

Hiring the services of practicing prostitutes, either short time or longer, because trying not to be derogatory, that is exactly what they are, I have no other terms to describe them, is in my opinion not a genuine affiliation between a couple and anyone who believes otherwise is living in Cloud cuckoo land.

You don't get it.

We're happy together and enjoy each other's company.

I'm 50 and bald. She's 33 and stunning.

We're fine thanks. We live in Pattaya, not cloud cuckoo land.

  • Like 1
Posted

Well what morals teachers in International Schools have

Indeed, look at all the pedophile priests who were enrolled, as teacher, all over the world.

  • Like 2
Posted

Some interesting posts. I just want to say that my post is not a troll post.

My GF is a bar girl. I accept it and enjoy the money that goes with her work. Does that make me a pimp? Possibly, but I don't force her to do what she does.

And I really do only earn 35k THB a month at an international school in Pattaya - salaries in Pattaya are especially low because there's a huge over supply of teachers wanting to live here, so the employers take advantage.

And I do occasionally enjoy the company of other ladies too.

Life's too short so I just get on with it and try to have a bit of fun.

and these are the sort of people that are teaching in thai schools no wonder the education system sucks here.

Sent from my GT-P7500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

You are right to say the education system in Thailand is generally quite poor.

I simply follow the UK's IGCSE (International General Certificate of Secondary Education) curriculum and do my best to raise standards.

The majority of my students are mixed race - Thai mothers and foreign fathers, often quite old fathers. I don't judge them or moralise.

strangely enough the last line of your commen

t doesnt surprise me younare in pattaya after all

Sent from my GT-P7500 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Posted (edited)

I've lived with many sex workers, two long-term and several outside of the Thai context, and can't say there's any one generalisation that holds that isn't based more on society's and your own attitude toward that trade rather than anything inherent in the people that do that work.

It seems to me that yours is open enough to deal with the challenges, and never mind what your family might think.

In my case my parents never new - she was a trained nurse originally and used that as a cover - and they very much loved and respected her.

Several of our friends and neighbors were involved in the business and within that circle were some of the best human beings it's been my privilege to know. Just like the drug trade, most of the negative consequences come from the legal prohibition and religious-social disapproval from IMO small-minded judgmental people. My ex has been very active in advocating for sex-workers' rights in Victoria and I believe one day the movement will have the same level of respectability and success that LGBT has seen in recent years.

I commend you and wish you best of luck, don't let the bastards get you down.

Is this the reason why you have to get out of Thailand to escape your creditors?

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/632473-enforcement-of-thai-debts-on-my-way-out/

One good reason why not to become involved in commercially pay as you go relationships.

All very nice living the high life and having numerous female temporary partners for those who can afford it and brushing aside the health risks as if they don`t exist.

It is irrelevant whether a partner has worked in the sex industry or not. What matters are the true meanings of a present partner relationship. Is it simply lust or love within a loyal union between two people? Anyone who is content with their partner would never contemplate having sexual encounters with other people, whether commercially or just for the fun of it. If a relationship really means something to them, they could go and get a job in a seven eleven or even work on a noodle stall if need be. If they make excuses for having to work in the sex industry, than this means they consider money and keeping ties within their institutionalized lifestyles as first and settling down as a nice little housewife will be at the lower end of they’re priorities.

Hiring the services of practicing prostitutes, either short time or longer, because trying not to be derogatory, that is exactly what they are, I have no other terms to describe them, is in my opinion not a genuine affiliation between a couple and anyone who believes otherwise is living in Cloud cuckoo land.

You don't get it.

We're happy together and enjoy each other's company.

I'm 50 and bald. She's 33 and stunning.

We're fine thanks. We live in Pattaya, not cloud cuckoo land.

Then I suppose she must like you for your charm, personality and magnetism.

Good for you. Sounds like a match made in heaven? Or at least it is in your mind and as long as you are happy for the time being and not too bother about your future, this is all that matters.

It`s your life and good luck to all who sail in her.

BTW: your posts have very similar traits to those of, funfon, and you both claim to live in Pattaya, even the avatars are similar. Are you connected in anyways?

Edited by Beetlejuice
Posted

I have a full time partner because I like to have long hard sex.

Is that possible with someone who has been out there selling herself 9 to 5.

Good man, you're a stud!

At my age I prefer a quickie

Wam bam, thank you Ma'am

  • Like 1
Posted

I've lived with many sex workers, two long-term and several outside of the Thai context, and can't say there's any one generalisation that holds that isn't based more on society's and your own attitude toward that trade rather than anything inherent in the people that do that work.

It seems to me that yours is open enough to deal with the challenges, and never mind what your family might think.

In my case my parents never new - she was a trained nurse originally and used that as a cover - and they very much loved and respected her.

Several of our friends and neighbors were involved in the business and within that circle were some of the best human beings it's been my privilege to know. Just like the drug trade, most of the negative consequences come from the legal prohibition and religious-social disapproval from IMO small-minded judgmental people. My ex has been very active in advocating for sex-workers' rights in Victoria and I believe one day the movement will have the same level of respectability and success that LGBT has seen in recent years.

I commend you and wish you best of luck, don't let the bastards get you down.

Is this the reason why you have to get out of Thailand to escape your creditors?

http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/632473-enforcement-of-thai-debts-on-my-way-out/

One good reason why not to become involved in commercially pay as you go relationships.

All very nice living the high life and having numerous female temporary partners for those who can afford it and brushing aside the health risks as if they don`t exist.

It is irrelevant whether a partner has worked in the sex industry or not. What matters are the true meanings of a present partner relationship. Is it simply lust or love within a loyal union between two people? Anyone who is content with their partner would never contemplate having sexual encounters with other people, whether commercially or just for the fun of it. If a relationship really means something to them, they could go and get a job in a seven eleven or even work on a noodle stall if need be. If they make excuses for having to work in the sex industry, than this means they consider money and keeping ties within their institutionalized lifestyles as first and settling down as a nice little housewife will be at the lower end of they’re priorities.

Hiring the services of practicing prostitutes, either short time or longer, because trying not to be derogatory, that is exactly what they are, I have no other terms to describe them, is in my opinion not a genuine affiliation between a couple and anyone who believes otherwise is living in Cloud cuckoo land.

You don't get it.

We're happy together and enjoy each other's company.

I'm 50 and bald. She's 33 and stunning.

We're fine thanks. We live in Pattaya, not cloud cuckoo land.

Then I suppose she must like you for your charm, personality and magnetism.

Good for you. Sounds like a match made in heaven? Or at least it is in your mind and as long as you are happy for the time being and not too bother about your future, this is all that matters.

It`s your life and good luck to all who sail in her.

BTW: your posts have very similar traits to those of, funfon, and you both claim to live in Pattaya, even the avatars are similar. Are you connected in anyways?

Definitely my charm

BTW: I have no idea who funfon is

BTW: I am in Pattaya - Soi Khao Talo

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