An Old Joke For St Patrick's Day.

[chumbles]

Steve decides to throw a fancy dress party with an 'Emotion' theme.

On the night of the party the door bell rings, Steve opens the door to see

Mark standing on the door step covered in green body paint, with dyed green

hair & green contact lenses. "Great" says Steve, "love the outfit, what's

the emotion?"

Mark says "I'm green with envy"

5 minutes later the doorbell rings again - Mark opens the door to Claire who

is wearing a bright pink bodysuit & a pink feather boa. "Fabulous outfit"

says Steve, "I'm tickled pink" says Claire.

10 minutes later the door bell goes for a third time. Steve opens the door

to find his 2 Irish friends, Paddy & Seamus stood on the doorstep, both of

them are completely naked. To make matters worse, Paddy has his wi11ie in a

bowl of custard & Seamus has his dipped in a pear.

Steve is mortified - "What the blazes are you doing? Why have you turned up

to my house naked, you'll get arrested. And anyway the theme for my party is

emotions, what emotions are you supposed to be?"

Paddy says "Well I'm fookin discustard & Seamus has come in dispear"

[suegha]

It may be old, but I had only heard half of it!

[wolf5370]

Another golden oldie...

Paddy and Murphy go fishing. After 5 hours of catching nothing they go to a local pub for luch. While there, the publican decides to have a laugh with them.

"Lad's your doing it all wrong for these parts. Fish are used to hooks and worms, they avoid them.

You are never going to catch a fish with the old rod n line"

Paddy and Murphy ask the publican how its done there then and are told

"One of you hangs over a bridge and the other holds his ankles. when a fish swims under the bridge you garb it an the ankle-holder pulls you up"

Two hours later Paddy is hangling over a bridge with Murphy holding on to his ankles. Half hour later Paddy starts shouting

"Pull me up Murphy, pull me up"

"Why Paddy and you caught a fish?"

"No Murphy, there's a <deleted> train coming!!!!"

Sorry to the Irish out there - was just following the theme

Edited March 17, 2006 by wolf5370

[John_Betong]

Steve decides to throw a fancy dress party with an 'Emotion' theme.

...

5 minutes later the doorbell rings again - Mark opens the door to Claire who

...

10 minutes later the door bell goes for a third time. Steve opens the door

...

15 minutes later the door bell goes for a fourth time. Steve opens the door and is confronted with a blonde, naked apart from black shoes and black gloves. Steve asked "And what is your theme??

The blonde holds her hands in the air and says "The five of spades".

[markuk]

Steve decides to throw a fancy dress party with an 'Emotion' theme.

...

5 minutes later the doorbell rings again - Mark opens the door to Claire who

...

10 minutes later the door bell goes for a third time. Steve opens the door

...

15 minutes later the door bell goes for a fourth time. Steve opens the door and is confronted with a blonde, naked apart from black shoes and black gloves. Steve asked "And what is your theme??

The blonde holds her hands in the air and says "The five of spades".

eh - isnt she blonde??

[jayenram]

Mick and Seamus were lake fishing in a rented boat. Suddenly they encountered a shoal of fish and caught a dozen. "Mick, put a cross on the bottom of the boat so we can find this place tomorrow". "Don't be so stupid Seamus, we may not get this boat tomorrow."

[GU22]

OK, if we're doing Irish jokes..........

Annoncements heard in an airport depature lounge.

The British Airways flight to London will depart at 17:00 hours.

The American Airlines flight to New York will depart at 5pm.

The Aer Lingus flight to Dublin will depart when the big hand is on the 12 and the small hand on the 5.