Age Difference In Relationships In Thailand

[HardenedSoul]

falcon.

thank you you have brought both sites of this debate together,,

having a laugh at you,

shagging slappers on your yearly weeks holiday,,

thank you jake

Put it this way; the guy might be doing what you say he's doing during his holidays but isn't the joke on the suckers who think their teerak is honouring the terms and conditions attached to ongoing payment of the monthly stipend one of which is usually to forego taking portions off other guys??

I am acquainted with several young women who occasionally turn up at a bar or club with their elderly benefactors who spend pretty much all night chasing off younger men who dare to approach their girls. They don't consider for a moment that, on the nights they're at home watching the documentary or re-runs of the Antiques Roadshow with a mug of cocoa, their girls are at the same establishments knocking around with those young men.

Of course, whenever I see these women with their hapless fools in tow, I'm tactful enough not to greet or acknowledge them but they inevitably sneak in a knowing smile and a roll of the eyes.

[oldsailor35]

I think for successful marriage the age gap should be under 20 years I am 14 years older than my wife and it seems to work however I think people who are 30 years older than their wives once the wife is 30 the man is 60 and when the wife is 35 the man is 65 and perhaps getting too old for the wife.

Sent from my i-mobile IQ 6 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

It seems to me that most women are not so keen for sex once they reach around 40, however men still want it at 70, so two people with that age difference will get on well. However a younger lady, say 20 is going to want sex more often than a 70 yr old man so will probably be "playing away from home"

[SteeleJoe]

sorry dude, sold my IT-company 5 years ago for x and enjoing my retirement in my twenties now

You too?

[seajae]

well I am 60 next month and my wife is 43, I dont look or act my age and most people take me for being in my 40's. I talked this over with my wife a lot before we were married and there was no way she was going to marry someone her age or marry a thai, she thinks that a lot of why we get on so good is our attitudes and the fact that we both think alike. I should also mention that she is the one with the money, not me so finances are nothing to do with it. Sometimes we are just lucky enough to actually meet the right partner.

As an after thought, a couple of years ago on a trip back to Australia I ran into an aussie in his 60's in Bangkok while we were waiting for our flights, he was going home to buy his medication?. He was busy telling me he had been in Bangkok for 3 days spending up on hookers, he had a 35 y/o wife back on the farm. This really makes me wonder what drives these idiots, they obviously think with their small heads and marry someone young for nothing other than to make themselves feel good. How in the hell can someone that age still want to play around taking their chances with hookers when they have a young wife at home, pathetic comes to mind.

Edited May 22, 2013 by seajae

[SteeleJoe]

I am acquainted with several young women who occasionally turn up at a bar or club with their elderly benefactors who spend pretty much all night chasing off younger men who dare to approach their girls. They don't consider for a moment that, on the nights they're at home watching the documentary or re-runs of the Antiques Roadshow with a mug of cocoa, their girls are at the same establishments knocking around with those young men.

Of course, whenever I see these women with their hapless fools in tow, I'm tactful enough not to greet or acknowledge them but they inevitably sneak in a knowing smile and a roll of the eyes.

Been there. Was there for a long time and reaped the benefits repeatedly.

But so what? (I'm only a bit ashamed of it at times, but certainly not proud of it...)

[SteeleJoe]

well I am 60 next month and my wife is 43, I dont look or act my age and most people take me for being in my 40's.

Serious question: What's the difference between acting like you're 59 and like you're in your 40's?

Personally, I hope I DO act my age. (I've never felt like it meant I had to stop being fun or open to change or just pleasant to be around etc)

[HardenedSoul]

I am acquainted with several young women who occasionally turn up at a bar or club with their elderly benefactors who spend pretty much all night chasing off younger men who dare to approach their girls. They don't consider for a moment that, on the nights they're at home watching the documentary or re-runs of the Antiques Roadshow with a mug of cocoa, their girls are at the same establishments knocking around with those young men.

Of course, whenever I see these women with their hapless fools in tow, I'm tactful enough not to greet or acknowledge them but they inevitably sneak in a knowing smile and a roll of the eyes.

But so what? (I'm only a bit ashamed of it at times, but certainly not proud of it...)

So what?

The point is that it's one thing for an older man to have a younger woman for non-committal fun and games but it's another to dish out a stipend and seriously expect that type of woman to adhere to the rules of the game and get the hump when she invariably strays with a younger man . . . often for free.

[SteeleJoe]

I am acquainted with several young women who occasionally turn up at a bar or club with their elderly benefactors who spend pretty much all night chasing off younger men who dare to approach their girls. They don't consider for a moment that, on the nights they're at home watching the documentary or re-runs of the Antiques Roadshow with a mug of cocoa, their girls are at the same establishments knocking around with those young men.

Of course, whenever I see these women with their hapless fools in tow, I'm tactful enough not to greet or acknowledge them but they inevitably sneak in a knowing smile and a roll of the eyes.

But so what? (I'm only a bit ashamed of it at times, but certainly not proud of it...)

So what?

The point is that it's one thing for an older man to have a younger woman for non-committal fun and games but it's another to dish out a stipend and seriously expect that type of woman to adhere to the rules of the game and get the hump when she invariably strays with a younger man . . . often for free.

Absolutely.

And I'll add something that has earned me some harsh recrimination in the past: I think a guy is not only dumb to think he can buy that sort of loyalty, but wrong (in the moral sense).

But again - so what? I don't see why I should care. In such instances, he gets what he deserves and so does she - and regardless, it has nought to do with I.

Edited May 22, 2013 by SteeleJoe

[PalMan]

The point is that it's one thing for an older man to have a younger woman for non-committal fun and games but it's another to dish out a stipend and seriously expect that type of woman to adhere to the rules of the game and get the hump when she invariably strays with a younger man . . . often for free.

-

So many assumptions, rules of what game?

I don't play monogamy, do you?

I find it's usually the girls who are pushing for that. I think it's important to establish from the start everybody's a free agent, what's good for the goose. . .

And I think most girls of the age I prefer wouldn't need to pay for their outside playmates, don't know about yours. . .

[AnotherOneAmerican]

I am acquainted with several young women who occasionally turn up at a bar or club with their elderly benefactors who spend pretty much all night chasing off younger men who dare to approach their girls. They don't consider for a moment that, on the nights they're at home watching the documentary or re-runs of the Antiques Roadshow with a mug of cocoa, their girls are at the same establishments knocking around with those young men.

Of course, whenever I see these women with their hapless fools in tow, I'm tactful enough not to greet or acknowledge them but they inevitably sneak in a knowing smile and a roll of the eyes.

But so what? (I'm only a bit ashamed of it at times, but certainly not proud of it...)

So what?

The point is that it's one thing for an older man to have a younger woman for non-committal fun and games but it's another to dish out a stipend and seriously expect that type of woman to adhere to the rules of the game and get the hump when she invariably strays with a younger man . . . often for free.

@HS, I think of it like regular employment.

While the guy is paying and she is in the company of the guy (aka on the job), she should earn her pay, and at least pretend she is enjoying it. Just like in any other job. What she does in her off time is up to her. While I'm at home with my cocoa, why would I care?

It's not that the girls with young guys aren't straying too. Same for everyone as far as I can see.

If any of these girls where to 'roll their eyes' when with me, I would simply go to the toilet and slip out leaving someone else to pay the bill.

If they were living with me at the time, their stuff would be outside in a bin bag waiting for them to collect, and the door securely locked.

Employment terminated!

Edited May 22, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[SteeleJoe]

The point is that it's one thing for an older man to have a younger woman for non-committal fun and games but it's another to dish out a stipend and seriously expect that type of woman to adhere to the rules of the game and get the hump when she invariably strays with a younger man . . . often for free.

-

So many assumptions, rules of what game?

I don't play monogamy, do you?

I find it's usually the girls who are pushing for that. I think it's important to establish from the start everybody's a free agent, what's good for the goose. . .

And I think most girls of the age I prefer wouldn't need to pay for their outside playmates, don't know about yours. . .

1) I suspect most men aren't that secure, realistic, or open-minded.

2) Many of the kept girls enjoy the switch of the dynamic - being the one who has the money to spend on someone. Not because they have to, but because they CAN. (I could, and probably would, go on about this if I had time).

[PalMan]

He was busy telling me he had been in Bangkok for 3 days spending up on hookers, he had a 35 y/o wife back on the farm. This really makes me wonder what drives these idiots, they obviously think with their small heads and marry someone young for nothing other than to make themselves feel good. How in the hell can someone that age still want to play around taking their chances with hookers when they have a young wife at home

-

Because many of us don't consider 35 "young" anymore, that's way past use-by AFAIC.

It's how young she is absolutely, as you get older in fact many tend to get closer and closer to the legal minimum. You might be looking at the age difference, to me that's irrelevant.

Edited May 22, 2013 by PalMan

[HardenedSoul]

-I don't play monogamy, do you?

I find it's usually the girls who are pushing for that. I think it's important to establish from the start everybody's a free agent, what's good for the goose. . .

And I think most girls of the age I prefer wouldn't need to pay for their outside playmates, don't know about yours. . .

I don't do the monogamy thing but I'm am far, far from promiscuous. My main squeeze knows the score and, while she may not be pleased about it, as long as I don't leave any evidence lying around, she's cool.

As for your last point, no idea what you're talking about, mate.

@HS, I think of it like regular employment.

While the guy is paying and she is in the company of the guy (aka on the job), she should earn her pay, and at least pretend she is enjoying it. Just like in any other job. What she does in her off time is up to her. While I'm at home with my cocoa, why would I care?

It's not that the girls with young guys aren't straying too. Same for everyone as far as I can see.

If any of these girls where to 'roll their eyes' when with me, I would simply go to the toilet and slip out leaving someone else to pay the bill.

If they were living with me at the time, their stuff would be outside in a bin bag waiting for them to collect, and the door securely locked.

Employment terminated!

Well your method of dealing with errant behaviour is admirable but my point is that, for every guy like you, there are dozens who genuinely feel that if they're paying a stipend, they're entitled to exclusive enjoyment of the merchandise. The girl will invariably lie and say she's on the level but the guy should know that.

Surely the best approach would be to avoid employing and go for a temp.

[Thongkorn]

It would be interesting to hear from some Women posters on Thai Visa, about there Views on age between a man and wife, are there any or have any posted there views yet.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

It would be interesting to hear from some Women posters on Thai Visa, about there Views on age between a man and wife, are there any or have any posted there views yet.

I thought we were all here to get away from that.

Rene from Canada already gave her reasonable and considered opinion.

But if you mean Thais,

The only Thai posters are about 3 male look krungs (including me), educated in an English speaking country.

And about 3 foreigners who acquired Thai citizenship, also English speaking. All six male.

Edited May 22, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[oldsailor35]

falcon.

thank you you have brought both sites of this debate together,,

having a laugh at you,

shagging slappers on your yearly weeks holiday,,

thank you jake

sorry dude, sold my IT-company 5 years ago for x and enjoing my retirement in my twenties now suck on that old fart!

Don't we all just hate cheeky kids

[FDog]

í meet so many girls who is having ther husband at home sleeping or working offshore and they shagging young guys becuse they only marry old farts to get money..

but i never say no to receive gifts from old farts money hahah..

no girl around 20-30 likes and old fart +50 they are boring its just about the money..

So tell me, while you are concerning yourself with what others are doing have you ever looked in the mirror?

You are young, with money, and still shag slappers. You must be really fugly.

[SteeleJoe]

1) I suspect most men aren't that secure, realistic, or open-minded.

-

Only comes with a certain maturity, having learned from life's lessons.

Some never learn, but then some assume none do, just trying to point out it's a mix and you can't generalize from any one classification, like age, nationality, sex any more than skin color.

2) Many of the kept girls enjoy the switch of the dynamic - being the one who has the money to spend on someone. Not because they have to, but because they CAN. (I could, and probably would, go on about this if I had time).

-

Yes, see plenty of older women (30+) taking boy toys from the "gay" bars - most of the guys there are actually straight, just pretend to be gay for the farang.

If you're trusting her so much you're riding bareback, make sure to go for the full range of tests every few months guys - in BKK the Red Cross is most trustworthy, anonymous and inexpensive. Can also get other blood test checks done, maybe stretch out the time between your full medical checkups that way too. . .

Don't if you are using the generic "you", but if not you obviously haven't been reading my posts (who could blame you); suffice it to say you needn't advise me.

* I think I'm plenty mature and have had the lessons. I'm not in the situation you describe but I would hope I'd be as sensible about it as you appear to be.

* I haven't generalized to any great extent (beyond what's necessary lest we become unable to communicate at all as no one can describe every single person or permutation).

* I'm well aware of the phenomena you describe - learned of it over 30 years ago - and have often warned people of that very thing. Granny. Eggs. Etc etc? (By the way, the women I was referring to in my last coupe, posts were well under 30)

* I don't need any blood tests. Trust me.

[Eesat]

falcon.

thank you you have brought both sites of this debate together,,

having a laugh at you,

shagging slappers on your yearly weeks holiday,,

thank you jake

sorry dude, sold my IT-company 5 years ago for x and enjoing my retirement in my twenties now suck on that old fart!

"thanks for the cash & gifts"

"x" must be about USD $2-300 then,if you're still having to sponge and scrounge "cash and gifts" from other guy's bargirls?

[PalMan]

Wasn't addressed to you specifically at all Joe, very much "generic you".

[Scully]

I'm soon to turn the big 50 and the gf is 24. Been together for 4 years.

The little Isaan lass works so does whatever the hell she wants with her money, as do I. All normal living costs are split between us but if we are out for dinner and drinks then I pay.

Never 'given' her a dime but did borrow some money off her a week ago as I was caught in a pickle.

If she only wants me for my money and security then I'm sure she will wise up soon and move on but until then I'm more than happy to have this little piece of 'trash' heaven.

But I'm sure when the young folk look at me they are sad and disgusted. But that's really their issue isn't it. Sad for them but I don't really give a hoot that they like to be miserable sods.

I had a girlfriend of 22 who was just finishing a degree in English, asked for nothing, very intelligent and incredibly beautiful. Thai men would stare at here, to cut a long story short her immaturity and interests due to our obvious age difference made us incompatible.

Oh and I am over ten years your junior, I suppose people want different things, no offence meant it's just something I wouldn't choose to do.

[HardenedSoul]

BTW I sure hope if you're fooling around, you don't mind that your woman is (can't really call her a girl anymore can you?)

Really, I can't believe you keep going on about what you think the best approach is, and all those assumptions!

No one is "entitled" to monogamy-loyalty, almost everyone in every country cheats or is cheated on, if you're unrealistic to expect otherwise of course you'll end up disappointed at some point. None of this has anything to do with whether there's explicit payment going on, nor anything to do with age differences!

And why do you assume the girl will "inevitably" lie? As long as you make it clear from the start that you want an open arrangement and negotiate the boundaries, including who wants to know what, then everyone should feel confident enough to be honest without threatening the relationship.

Whether she's called a "girl" or a "woman" is 100% immaterial. I like women, not girls.

I doubt she's knocking around but if she told me she was, I can genuinely say that it wouldn't bother me in the slightest. It's just not that type of relationship.

No one is "entitled" to monogamy-loyalty, almost everyone in every country cheats or is cheated on, if you're unrealistic to expect otherwise of course you'll end up disappointed at some point.

What is wrong with you? Those are the types of guy I'm referring to; the ones who expect monogamy/loyalty because they're paying for it.

[FDog]

I'm soon to turn the big 50 and the gf is 24. Been together for 4 years.

The little Isaan lass works so does whatever the hell she wants with her money, as do I. All normal living costs are split between us but if we are out for dinner and drinks then I pay.

Never 'given' her a dime but did borrow some money off her a week ago as I was caught in a pickle.

If she only wants me for my money and security then I'm sure she will wise up soon and move on but until then I'm more than happy to have this little piece of 'trash' heaven.

But I'm sure when the young folk look at me they are sad and disgusted. But that's really their issue isn't it. Sad for them but I don't really give a hoot that they like to be miserable sods.

I had a girlfriend of 22 who was just finishing a degree in English, asked for nothing, very intelligent and incredibly beautiful. Thai men would stare at here, to cut a long story short her immaturity and interests due to our obvious age difference made us incompatible.

Oh and I am over ten years your junior, I suppose people want different things, no offence meant it's just something I wouldn't choose to do.

No offence taken at all. It's horses for courses. I don't like women near my age and some don't like younger girls. Each to their own. Whatever makes a person happy should be all that matters.

Some may say that she will get rid of me, she may. But I may also tire of her too. At the moment I'm happy and she is happy, if it all falls apart that is ok as I have had a wonderful experience.

I'm sure you are happy now too. I wish you and your girl all the happiness in the world. That is all that matters.

[PalMan]

What is wrong with you? Those are the types of guy I'm referring to; the ones who expect monogamy/loyalty because they're paying for it.

Because you keep talking as if "the guys that are paying for it" - or "the guys that are with much younger girls" - are more likely to expect their girl to be faithful.

My point is that none of these very separate factors have anything to do with each other, and the fact that you keep mixing them all up causes your statements to be false over-generalizations.

I think guys in more-or-less-explicit P2P relationships are much LESS likely to expect their girls to be faithful, much MORE likely to be realistic and OK with them fooling around than guys in supposedly "love" based traditional marriages.

Bottom line is faithfulness isn't what most of us are paying for and I think most of us aren't kidding ourselves.

Edited May 22, 2013 by PalMan

[HardenedSoul]

What is wrong with you? Those are the types of guy I'm referring to; the ones who expect monogamy/loyalty because they're paying for it.

Because you keep talking as if "the guys that are paying for it" - or "the guys that are with much younger girls" - are more likely to expect their girl to be faithful.

My point is that none of these very separate factors have anything to do with each other, and the fact that you keep mixing them all up causes your statements to be false over-generalizations.

I think guys in more-or-less-explicit P2P relationships are much LESS likely to expect their girls to be faithful, much MORE likely to be realistic and OK with them fooling around than guys in supposedly "love" based traditional marriages.

Bottom line is faithfulness isn't what most of us are paying for and I think most of us aren't kidding ourselves.

Oh fer cryin' out loud.

Look, I realise that guys in P2P relationships SHOULD be less likely to expect loyalty - it's only common sense, after all - but how common is common sense?

You and I (if I were that way inclined) would be under no illusions whatsoever but for every one of us, there are loads who expect to get what they're paying for - namely, loyalty.

It doesn't matter whether they're young or old - that's irrelevant but, in my experience, the majority of those who do expect loyalty and exclusivity are older.

[marcusd]

We all know the truth.

It's more or less prostituting yourself to one full time customer.

Sent from my GT-N7000B using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Well i am gay and older by twice the age of ny boy. why dies he like me...??? SECURITY OF COURSE and to believe otherwise is total foolishness. Yes he loves me and we enjoy eachother and are boyfriends but. .. I know he likes younger for sone fun and I accept that.

We both get something out of this... And so do yiou straight guys so stop living in na na do do land

[HardenedSoul]

We all know the truth.

It's more or less prostituting yourself to one full time customer.

Sent from my GT-N7000B using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

Well i am gay and older by twice the age of ny boy. why dies he like me...??? SECURITY OF COURSE and to believe otherwise is total foolishness. Yes he loves me and we enjoy eachother and are boyfriends but. .. I know he likes younger for sone fun and I accept that.

We both get something out of this... And so do yiou straight guys so stop living in na na do do land

Sure he loves you.

Sure !!

[PalMan]

You and I (if I were that way inclined) would be under no illusions whatsoever but for every one of us, there are loads who expect to get what they're paying for - namely, loyalty.

It doesn't matter whether they're young or old - that's irrelevant but, in my experience, the majority of those who do expect loyalty and exclusivity are older.

-

IMO it's mostly the naive newbies who expect that.

And those with more experience (= wisdom) tend to be older.

Sure he loves you.

Sure !!

-

And that's just nasty, uncalled for, completely unjustified, you have no idea of the setup.

That's my main problem with you and your posts, you make unwarranted assumptions based on nothing but your idiotic prejudices.

Lots and lots of relationships here start out as straight P2P and then develop true intimacy over time.

Sure they're likely to end if the money runs out, but that's just as true for traditional "romantic" relationships back home or anywhere.

Doesn't mean there isn't real love there. Just that basic survival needs are - quite rightly - more important.

Doesn't mean the love isn't real. . .

Edited May 22, 2013 by PalMan

[AnotherOneAmerican]

You and I (if I were that way inclined) would be under no illusions whatsoever but for every one of us, there are loads who expect to get what they're paying for - namely, loyalty.

It doesn't matter whether they're young or old - that's irrelevant but, in my experience, the majority of those who do expect loyalty and exclusivity are older.

-

IMO it's mostly the naive newbies who expect that.

And those with more experience (= wisdom) tend to be older.

>Sure he loves you.

Sure !!

-

And that's just nasty, uncalled for, completely unjustified, you have no idea of the setup.

That's my main problem with you and your posts, you make unwarranted assumptions based on nothing but your idiotic prejudices.

Lots and lots of relationships here start out as straight P2P and then develop true intimacy over time.

Sure they're likely to end if the money runs out, but that's just as true for traditional "romantic" relationships back home or anywhere.

Doesn't mean there isn't real love there. Just that basic survival needs are - quite rightly - more important.

Doesn't mean the love isn't real. . .

I expected loyalty from my US wife of 25 years.

Guess what, I didn't get any, and she wasn't faithful either.

Now I expect nothing from anyone, and I get it (nothing from anyone).

[HardenedSoul]

You and I (if I were that way inclined) would be under no illusions whatsoever but for every one of us, there are loads who expect to get what they're paying for - namely, loyalty.

It doesn't matter whether they're young or old - that's irrelevant but, in my experience, the majority of those who do expect loyalty and exclusivity are older.

-

IMO it's mostly the naive newbies who expect that.

And those with more experience (= wisdom) tend to be older.

>>Sure he loves you.

Sure !!

-

And that's just nasty, uncalled for, completely unjustified, you have no idea of the setup.

That's my main problem with you and your posts, you make unwarranted assumptions based on nothing but your idiotic prejudices.

Lots and lots of relationships here start out as straight P2P and then develop true intimacy over time.

Sure they're likely to end if the money runs out, but that's just as true for traditional "romantic" relationships back home or anywhere.

Doesn't mean there isn't real love there. Just that basic survival needs are - quite rightly - more important.

Doesn't mean the love isn't real. . .

Bullshit.

It's just as likely that the guy's deluding himself as it is that his boyfriend genuinely loves him. Moreover, the guy actually says that "his boy" likes him for the SECURITY so wind your neck back in and gently apply the brakes, mate because no one's making unwarranted assumptions. You can sit there and type up as many unnecessary justifications for what you do, whom you do it with and wrap them all up in what you believe is a reasoned argument but the fact remains that whatever your girl/woman purports to feel for you is almost certainly primarily driven by monetary compensation.

The mere presence of financial imperatives for the paid party introduces perfectly reasonable doubt over the veracity of said love whereas, with the romantic aspect you're so quick to dismiss as little more than folly, there is often more underpinning said love.

Go ahead, dispute it but outside the Thailand bubble, there are billions of people who are in and remain in love with each other even in the face of financial challenges.

I prefer not to let the bubble brainwash me or make me super-cynical about relationships between men and women (or in this other guy's case, men and men). In m y experience, it doesn't come down to financial imperatives as much as it does to genuine feeling, respect, appreciation and empathy for another person.

Edited May 22, 2013 by HardenedSoul