Age Difference In Relationships In Thailand

[Morden]

Surely it is down to what is acceptable to both parties as long as there is an understanding?

I have seen many young Thai women / students in restaurants with older thai me. Both know the score.

If a foreign man hitches up with a Thai female 30 or 40 or even 50 years his junior, then he too should know and accept the situation.

Yes, some young Thai women want an older man and a more secure relationship and why not? Many Thai women are left on the scrap heap after having 1 or 2 kids as their marriages break down. What are they supposed to do, accept that? many of these women would love to have a man to kiss, hold hands with and make love to them. A lot will use their 'charms' to get security only. They are all different.

Personally, I'd not date a Thai woman in her teens or in her 20's. I would and have taken women in their 20's to my bed but only for the one night.

I prefer a woman in her mid 30's +. I feel they are more honest and caring. They are still very sexy too.

Overall, if someone is happy even for a short time is that not better than no happiness at all?

Great post.

Overall, if someone is happy even for a short time is that not better than no happiness at all? Brilliant!

My own preference is for women in their 40s or 50s. In their thirties they are maturing but can still be a bit flighty.

[HardenedSoul]

You are entitled to define your maturity as you see fit.

My wife has had her own house for years. I wanted a bigger a newer one and that's the one we live in. Why not be comfortable with plenty of space around you if you can afford it? She has her own vehicle but I wanted to be able to use a rather nice brand new suv I fancied. She prefers the pick up for business. Read my previous post.

My wife is younger but hardly young.

Funny how kids think that they know more than do grown ups. Chappy, I've been around the circuit more times than you have. I'm in the best relationship that I've ever had and am enjoying myself. I hope that, one day, you too reach that happy state.

Soften your soul.

Well all power to you if you're in the best relationship of your life. I'm sure you said the same thing in all your previous marriages or liaisons.

All I'm saying is that plenty of men, myself included, have had successful relationships with women where they haven't needed to grease the wheels of bliss with liberal quantities of cash. If that's what you have to do to keep your wife, fine . . . as long as the dosh is there.

You and I both know that advanced years don't provide any guarantee whatsoever of success in relationships or superior knowledge of the ways of women so I'm at a loss as to why you keep berating younger men.

You were younger once; didn't you have successful relationships back then or do you genuinely feel that one has to have a foot in the grave to be able to make one work?

I'm 'berating' younger men because I'm hacked off with them coming here and telling others how to live their lives when they haven't got a clue what life beyond the nappy stage is about. They also think that they have the right to insult those other people and their wives. If they don't like it back, they should keep quiet.

And no, my relationship doesn't depend on the 'dosh'. I enjoy, with her, what I have over here. She spends her own money on me too. Up to me and not the business of any bitter, clueless, pot-less young prick who's just realised he hasn't done anything about his pension fund.

Oh <deleted> enough with the pension. Some of us don't need them.

I ain't bitter, clueless and I'm definitely not potless.

No one's telling you how to live your life but if you put your personal information up, you can't throw your toys outta the pram when people pick you apart.

You're an old bloke with a much younger wife - people will jump on that especially when you broadcast that you bought her a second house and a car. Not out of jealousy because you've got a few bucks put away but because you'd have us believe that your wife 100% remains with you for reasons other than those few bucks and the "gifts" you shower her with.

Frankly, you post with the air of someone who doesn't want the mirage to end.

[PalMan]

Old men with young women aresad and strange, but all the women I know in this situation have a boyfriend nearer their own age and both benefit from the old mans money.

Sad really, but it is to be expected.

I find it especially sad when the old chaps dye their hair and wear a younger mans clothes thinking it will roll back the years, it looks stupid.

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You find this sad, that thing sad nothing around you but sadness. Stop torturing yourself by judging others and start thinking about how to make yourself happy.

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Oh and the fantasy so many hapless love-losers have where all that's needed for a blissful, long-lasting relationship with a significantly younger Thai woman several aesthetic notches above that which they were able to attract and retain back home is a modest pension and a few shekels in the bank is so much more rational isn't it?

Yeah, of course, those work out every bloody time, don't they?

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There isn't any one template of human relations that "works out" every time. Maybe they're not meant to, you stay together for a while as long as things are good and then you both move on to greener pastures when the time comes, yes, seems perfectly rational to me.

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None of your business, and again as above not relevant to what I'm saying. Twenty years later she bought him a farm on 35 acres, does that make him a gigolo?

Of course it's bloody relevant.

It's relevant because I'm sure your dad didn't go out and buy your mum a car in order to soften the impact of marrying a man 30 years her senior unlike Mr. Morden who bought his much younger wife a house as well.

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No it's not relevant, because my point isn't to try to persuade you that my mum isn't a gold-digger, it's that even if she was a gold-digger, or even an explicit sex worker charging dad cash on the barrel per session, my point is that there's nothing wrong with any of those models as long as he and she were happy with the arrangement, no coercion, all adults, not doing anyone any harm and therefore nobody else's business but their own.

That's why I'm saying their age difference is irrelevant.

Every time I see an old geezer shuffling with his walking frame with a teenage hottie in tow it truly warms my heart gives me hope for the future, bless these countries that make such bliss possible.

And if you try to criticize the girl for her choices I'm sure you'll get an earful as well. And the old guy probably doesn't even mind if she's got her "real" boyfriend hanging out around the corner subsidized by her generosity.

Who gives a stuff, really - live and let live. . .

Edited May 18, 2013 by PalMan

[muythai2013]

He also knows about our retirement plans, genius.

my pension will not be wasted on some young leech thats for sure.

right now i'm laying next to my wife, 10 month old daughter is between us, attacking my laptop.

when my wife is 80 I pray i still have her old ass.

[473geo]

Yes you're right about the pension not relevant, I've always drawn much younger women, even before Thailand, I guess some of us just have that ability, so when I met my Thai wife, nothing really changed....for some maybe maybe a young wife is a new experience.....for me it wasn't.......sorry to inform you young guys.... ......it isn't all about money.....you've got to have 'it'

[Nuna]

Please don't rush to conclusion about Thai women mate choosing tendency. I have associated with Thais in several classes and confirm that 80 percent of Thai women or the "majority" still prefer someone their own age or less than 10 years age different partners if they have choice. The same way as ladies from other countries throughout the world do.

And please don't compare with your old era because women in the past had no right to educate themself or to choose their life path so they had no choice left but ending up with any man in order to survive.

[siberianwarcat]

I once saw on a TV show called Qi the question "What age is the perfect woman?".

The answer; Half the man's age + 8 years (if the result includes half years, round up to the nearest whole number).

It means a 15 year old boy gets a 16 year old girlfriend (Cool).

A 21 year old gets a 19 year old.

A 40 year old gets a 28 year old.

Or, an 80 year old marries a woman aged 48.

Ok, I am sure there are some who would moralize such a crude rule of thumb, but it seems pretty good to me.

I am not sure who originally wrote it, but it is cool.

That being said my former relationship of 7 years was with a British woman 5 months younger than me.

My current (Thai) partner of two years is the same age as me too.

So although I like the 'idea' of the perfect woman formula, I have never applied it myself.

[HardenedSoul]

Oh and the fantasy so many hapless love-losers have where all that's needed for a blissful, long-lasting relationship with a significantly younger Thai woman several aesthetic notches above that which they were able to attract and retain back home is a modest pension and a few shekels in the bank is so much more rational isn't it?

Yeah, of course, those work out every bloody time, don't they?

-

There isn't any one template of human relations that "works out" every time. Maybe they're not meant to, you stay together for a while as long as things are good and then you both move on to greener pastures when the time comes, yes, seems perfectly rational to me.

Every time I see an old geezer shuffling with his walking frame with a teenage hottie in tow it truly warms my heart gives me hope for the future, bless these countries that make such bliss possible.

And if you try to criticize the girl for her choices I'm sure you'll get an earful as well. And the old guy probably doesn't even mind if she's got her "real" boyfriend hanging out around the corner subsidized by her generosity.

You're right; there isn't one blueprint for relationships that works out every time but when I look back on those I've had, I do so with a smile for the emotions and feelings underpinning those good times rather than the knowledge that much of the time they spent with me was motivated by my ability to compensate them financially.

If the sight of a crotchety old fossil shuffling along with a teenage hottie warms your heart, how would you feel if your hypothetical teenage daughter brought a similarly infirm man home waxing lyrical about the size of his pension?

Would you give him a pat on the back (taking care not to crack a rib) or would you reach for the semi-automatic in the dresser?

[SteeleJoe]

How do I think about it, lets reverse it would you guys want to be in a relation with a female 10 or 20 years older then you if you are not financially compensated.. most goes for Thai girls too.

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While I agree with the essence of this, even aside from the exceptions you point out, I think there is a difference between what women generally find physically attractive and unattractive and what men do as well as an arguably aesthetic difference about how society typically views the affects of age. There's a reason why male movie stars, for example, can be widely perceived as sexy at an age when women of the same age might not be (I obviously recognize that most people don't look like George Clooney or Sean Connery, but that's not the point).

I also think that while everyone finds physical beauty attractive, women are often less superficial and don't put it as high a priority as men typically would. Some of things they might see as being more important don't decline with age and often increase (including but not confined to financial wherewithal).

These are all obviously generalizations and thus are of inherently limited accuracy.

[SteeleJoe]

We all know the truth.

It's more or less prostituting yourself to one full time customer.

That makes no sense.

[ragamuffin]

I know a 41 year old Thai woman who is the sole earner in a family of five. Father too old to work, mother cooks and cleans, looks after daughter of 41 year old, 37 year old sister works but after accident on motorbike can't work for at least another year. The 41 year old earns 6,000 Baht a month and supports the whole family. Their 'living accommodation' consists of a small house of four rooms built with, what I call 'Breeze Blocks', the roof being rough timber supports with corrugated asbestos. This roof leaks like a sieve when it rains as there are cracks and gaps all over the place.  The two Sisters and 11 year old girl share one small bedroom and the Parents have the other and they all basically sleep on the floor with the odd mattress and blankets. A 17'' TV offers what comfort there is but there are no chairs to sit on. Meals are cooked outside and they all sit on the floor to eat.

 

Now then; the 41 year old has met a 78 year old friend of mine who is reasonably able and comfortable for money, not rich but comfortable He rents a house near where I live and never wanted to buy..  He asked me to meet the family and help him decide if he wanted to marry this woman who he has not yet slept with and has given no money to as yet.  I told him as far as I was concerned it isn't really my business but in my opinion he could do with a bit of company and this family most certainly would be grateful for his help.

 

If he goes ahead with this relationship it will transform the lives of this family who have suffered poverty for many years.  It will most probably never be a relationship based on what most of us would call 'love' but does it really matter if all parties are happy?  Age gaps are irrelevant in many cases and it's all about the needs of folk and perhaps how 'caring' Human Beings can be toward each other.

He could be caring without sex and marriage. Won't happen.

[MAJIC]

Yep, I'm sure Mick Jagger, Ronnie Wood, Rod Stewart will look at a bunch of old losers on ThaiVisa, drop their girlfriends immediately, and go after the grandmothers instead.

I know a guy who is in his late 70’s, he has a very young wife, she's still in her teens, he treats her like a princess and she seems happy enough, of course, there is more to it than that, but the old bitter and twisted men of ThaiVisa would never understand, they are just jealous, same as I am.

Lets see, he's happy, you're not, not much more to say.

Correct! the Young guys get bitter,because the old guys are taking their young women,and on their territory too,makes me smile when they come over all moralistic,and playing the Puritan.

[Nuna]

Old men with young women aresad and strange, but all the women I know in this situation have a boyfriend nearer their own age and both benefit from the old mans money.

Sad really, but it is to be expected.

That is what I have seen too in my wifes circles.. they keep the old guy around for the money. I seen a guy like that (thai) go crazy and take the girls phone and giver her a lot of cash to forget all her old numbers as he did not like the younger b/f s around.

Of course she would get the numbers back but had a bit extra cash. Other situation young girl went for older guy too so he could support her family she was a bit ashamed walking with him (all thai on thai here) but the needs of the family took priority. I do pitty but that is how often is. Those girls are not happy but money is king.

In most normal relations you see here age is roughly the same.. and sure there are exceptions but not as much as people like us to believe. They are a bit more tolerant here of age differences but not as much they all know what is about then.

Agreed. I am not happy either when my mother push me to an old western man because she just talked to a neighbor who married to a wealthy old man and she got a big house.

[SteeleJoe]

I once saw on a TV show called Qi the question "What age is the perfect woman?".

The answer; Half the man's age + 8 years (if the result includes half years, round up to the nearest whole number).

It means a 15 year old boy gets a 16 year old girlfriend (Cool).

A 21 year old gets a 19 year old.

A 40 year old gets a 28 year old.

Or, an 80 year old marries a woman aged 48.

Ok, I am sure there are some who would moralize such a crude rule of thumb, but it seems pretty good to me.

I am not sure who originally wrote it, but it is cool.

That being said my former relationship of 7 years was with a British woman 5 months younger than me.

My current (Thai) partner of two years is the same age as me too.

So although I like the 'idea' of the perfect woman formula, I have never applied it myself.

Well, according to that formula, my wife was about 7 years too young when I met her (as a penniless young man) and 7 years too old now (less of both characteristics)...screw that formula, she was the perfect one for me then and she's the perfect one for me now.

[muythai2013]

We all know the truth.

It's more or less prostituting yourself to one full time customer.

That makes no sense.

off coarse it does, go sell yourself in a bar to a different man everynight, or get one for life for money only, now tell me how on earth you misunderstand what i am writing.

[muythai2013]

Yep, I'm sure Mick Jagger, Ronnie Wood, Rod Stewart will look at a bunch of old losers on ThaiVisa, drop their girlfriends immediately, and go after the grandmothers instead.

I know a guy who is in his late 70’s, he has a very young wife, she's still in her teens, he treats her like a princess and she seems happy enough, of course, there is more to it than that, but the old bitter and twisted men of ThaiVisa would never understand, they are just jealous, same as I am.

Lets see, he's happy, you're not, not much more to say.

Correct! the Young guys get bitter,because the old guys are taking their young women,and on their territory too,makes me smile when they come over all moralistic,and playing the Puritan.

the type of girls that go to an old guy are a blessing to have taken of our hands, you keep keep taking out the trash and we will be happy my friend.

[SteeleJoe]

We all know the truth.

It's more or less prostituting yourself to one full time customer.

That makes no sense.

off coarse it does, go sell yourself in a bar to a different man everynight, or get one for life for money only, now tell me how on earth you misunderstand what i am writing.

"It's more or less prostituting yourself to one full time customer."

I didn't MISunderstand it. I didn't understand it at all.

"It" means what exactly? Being with someone older only because they have money? If that's what you meant then that makes sense but that's not what you said.

If "it" means merely being with someone older than you then it makes no sense.

Your comment had zero context or specificity. It made no sense as it was. (Granted you later made a comment that DID make sense and which seemed to be what you might have meant the first time).

[SteeleJoe]

Yep, I'm sure Mick Jagger, Ronnie Wood, Rod Stewart will look at a bunch of old losers on ThaiVisa, drop their girlfriends immediately, and go after the grandmothers instead.

I know a guy who is in his late 70’s, he has a very young wife, she's still in her teens, he treats her like a princess and she seems happy enough, of course, there is more to it than that, but the old bitter and twisted men of ThaiVisa would never understand, they are just jealous, same as I am.

Lets see, he's happy, you're not, not much more to say.

Correct! the Young guys get bitter,because the old guys are taking their young women,and on their territory too,makes me smile when they come over all moralistic,and playing the Puritan.

the type of girls that go to an old guy are a blessing to have taken of our hands, you keep keep taking out the trash and we will be happy my friend.

I very nearly wrote something quite similar (if much łess gratuitously harsh and judgemental) but I decided it doesn't allow for enough nuance and exceptional circumstances.

[givenall]

My formula for an ideal woman is one half +or-7. So for a 55 year man woman should be between 21and 34

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[maanoi]

Am i the only guy who has an older wife? Only 1 year though.

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[SteeleJoe]

Am i the only guy who has an older wife? Only 1 year though.

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I would hope it would go without saying that there is clearly nothing wrong with that at all but I think you'll find that is less than typical in most countries/cultures, not just on this forum.

[meom]

Am i the only guy who has an older wife? Only 1 year though.

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My wife's 5 year older.

I wouldn't know what to do with a woman twenty years younger.

By the time we get through the first round I'll be half-dead while she's just getting warmed up probably.

[Banzai99]

This topic has been done to death over many years, but still good for a giggle.

Another good topic is : " Where did you meet your wife " some of the replies are really cringeworthy, and obvious fabrications, if you met her in a bar, like most farangs do, just say so, don't make up some ridiculous tale, who are you trying to kid anyway, yourself ?

[muythai2013]

i'm sure there are the odd relationships out there that are genuine with an age gap over 20 years.

It's just that i'm yet to see one.

[Banzai99]

Am i the only guy who has an older wife? Only 1 year though.

Sent from my GT-I9300 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app

My wife's 5 year older.

I wouldn't know what to do with a woman twenty years younger.

By the time we get through the first round I'll be half-dead while she's just getting warmed up probably.

That's why they have Boyfriends their own age on the side....

[muythai2013]

This topic has been done to death over many years, but still good for a giggle.

Another good topic is : " Where did you meet your wife " some of the replies are really cringeworthy, and obvious fabrications, if you met her in a bar, like most farangs do, just say so, don't make up some ridiculous tale, who are you trying to kid anyway, yourself ?

the problem is if you did not meet her in a bar, people like you dont believe it.

I would honestly sooner castrate myself then even think for a fleeting moment about being with a bar girl.

It's a waste of time mentioning where we met, or anyone here for that matter, who the hell would marry a BG, thought that was going out in the 90's.

[SteeleJoe]

i'm sure there are the odd relationships out there that are genuine with an age gap over 20 years.

It's just that i'm yet to see one.

I'm not sure I have either. Where did the 20 year difference get mentioned? Is that the cutoff? If not, how many years difference can it be without you making an assumption about the couple's feelings for each and/or the younger one's motives and character?

[bkk_mike]

Am i the only guy who has an older wife? Only 1 year though.

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Not the only one... Mine's two years older than me...

Admittedly I met my wife back in London, not Thailand.

[meom]

This topic has been done to death over many years, but still good for a giggle.9

Another good topic is : " Where did you meet your wife " some of the replies are really cringeworthy, and obvious fabrications, if you met her in a bar, like most farangs do, just say so, don't make up some ridiculous tale, who are you trying to kid anyway, yourself ?

the problem is if you did not meet her in a bar, people like you dont believe it.

I would honestly sooner castrate myself then even think for a fleeting moment about being with a bar girl.

It's a waste of time mentioning where we met, or anyone here for that matter, who the hell would marry a BG, thought that was going out in the 90's.

Yeah well there's BG's and then there's BG's.

My girl used to work in a club and considered herself to be an entrepreneur.

Go figure.

[muythai2013]

I swear if this guy was sniffing around with a 20 yr old slapper on his arm that he aquired for a sin sod and house from the minge pits of the darkest soi in pattaya.

people here would swear blind it is true love.