Age Difference In Relationships In Thailand

[HardenedSoul]

Yes you're right about the pension not relevant, I've always drawn much younger women, even before Thailand, I guess some of us just have that ability, so when I met my Thai wife, nothing really changed....for some maybe maybe a young wife is a new experience.....for me it wasn't.......sorry to inform you young guys.... ......it isn't all about money.....you've got to have 'it'

This is soo true, even in farangland some men find it very easy to get off with the best looking girls, while others can only get off with the drags(not saying looks are everything) in many cases it does't even relate to the man having good looks. Some men simple find it very easy to attract members of the opposite sex. Maybe this is what Hardensoul resent

Oh Lord, I guess I can afford to skip tomorrow's abdominal workout after reading that.

I mean just what, exactly, is enviable about an old boy relying on coin in order to hook up with a younger woman who, in Morden's own words is NOT "a saggy arsed specimen around [his] own age". He's effectively saying that without his coin, he'd wouldn't even have a snowball in hell's chance of securing that woman.

What, pray tell, is to be resented about that??

[Morden]

Yes you're right about the pension not relevant, I've always drawn much younger women, even before Thailand, I guess some of us just have that ability, so when I met my Thai wife, nothing really changed....for some maybe maybe a young wife is a new experience.....for me it wasn't.......sorry to inform you young guys.... ......it isn't all about money.....you've got to have 'it'

This is soo true, even in farangland some men find it very easy to get off with the best looking girls, while others can only get off with the drags(not saying looks are everything) in many cases it does't even relate to the man having good looks. Some men simple find it very easy to attract members of the opposite sex. Maybe this is what Hardensoul resent

Oh Lord, I guess I can afford to skip tomorrow's abdominal workout after reading that.

I mean just what, exactly, is enviable about an old boy relying on coin in order to hook up with a younger woman who, in Morden's own words is NOT "a saggy arsed specimen around [his] own age". He's effectively saying that without his coin, he'd wouldn't even have a snowball in hell's chance of securing that woman.

What, pray tell, is to be resented about that??

I once dated a woman back home, meeting her for a meal after several 'phone conversations. After a pleasant meal and chat, she leaned across the table and asked me whether I had a pension fund. Adding that to other recent experiences with divorced women of a certain age, that was the end of farang women for me. Quite right boy, if I had not provided for retirement, I would be a sad git back home saving beers to buy a pint in the local listening to inane chatter about football. Much better for me here.

My wife is well able to take care of herself and out her older daughter through university. I'm happy to share some of what I have to give both of us a better life. She's happy and so am I. I hope that, one day, you find the same future.

[robblok]

Yes you're right about the pension not relevant, I've always drawn much younger women, even before Thailand, I guess some of us just have that ability, so when I met my Thai wife, nothing really changed....for some maybe maybe a young wife is a new experience.....for me it wasn't.......sorry to inform you young guys.... ......it isn't all about money.....you've got to have 'it'

This is soo true, even in farangland some men find it very easy to get off with the best looking girls, while others can only get off with the drags(not saying looks are everything) in many cases it does't even relate to the man having good looks. Some men simple find it very easy to attract members of the opposite sex. Maybe this is what Hardensoul resent

Oh Lord, I guess I can afford to skip tomorrow's abdominal workout after reading that.

I mean just what, exactly, is enviable about an old boy relying on coin in order to hook up with a younger woman who, in Morden's own words is NOT "a saggy arsed specimen around [his] own age". He's effectively saying that without his coin, he'd wouldn't even have a snowball in hell's chance of securing that woman.

What, pray tell, is to be resented about that??

Today I was in MBK Bkk where Thais are that are able to spend some money. I was looking at Thai Thai couples to see age difference. I did not see a single one.. so they clearly prefer their own age group when there is no financial incentive.

So yes if you want something you cant get because your old or out of shape you will have to pay for it. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with that.. what is wrong if they are kidding themselves that its not the money but their "maturity".

Anyway nothing wrong with baiting the hook if you want something young, just keep in mind that its the money. I am pretty sure that if im at that age i would still like younger too. I just hope I never become stupid thinking they are there for me instead for my money. So now that i still can attract them without money i can keep the money for when I need it later

[metisdead]

Inflammatory troll post and replies have been removed.

[arthurwait]

Yes you're right about the pension not relevant, I've always drawn much younger women, even before Thailand, I guess some of us just have that ability, so when I met my Thai wife, nothing really changed....for some maybe maybe a young wife is a new experience.....for me it wasn't.......sorry to inform you young guys.... ......it isn't all about money.....you've got to have 'it'

This is soo true, even in farangland some men find it very easy to get off with the best looking girls, while others can only get off with the drags(not saying looks are everything) in many cases it does't even relate to the man having good looks. Some men simple find it very easy to attract members of the opposite sex. Maybe this is what Hardensoul resent

Oh Lord, I guess I can afford to skip tomorrow's abdominal workout after reading that.

I mean just what, exactly, is enviable about an old boy relying on coin in order to hook up with a younger woman who, in Morden's own words is NOT "a saggy arsed specimen around [his] own age". He's effectively saying that without his coin, he'd wouldn't even have a snowball in hell's chance of securing that woman.

What, pray tell, is to be resented about that??

Today I was in MBK Bkk where Thais are that are able to spend some money. I was looking at Thai Thai couples to see age difference. I did not see a single one.. so they clearly prefer their own age group when there is no financial incentive.

So yes if you want something you cant get because your old or out of shape you will have to pay for it. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with that.. what is wrong if they are kidding themselves that its not the money but their "maturity".

Anyway nothing wrong with baiting the hook if you want something young, just keep in mind that its the money. I am pretty sure that if im at that age i would still like younger too. I just hope I never become stupid thinking they are there for me instead for my money. So now that i still can attract them without money i can keep the money for when I need it later

Try the same thing in gold shops.

[HardenedSoul]

Yes you're right about the pension not relevant, I've always drawn much younger women, even before Thailand, I guess some of us just have that ability, so when I met my Thai wife, nothing really changed....for some maybe maybe a young wife is a new experience.....for me it wasn't.......sorry to inform you young guys.... ......it isn't all about money.....you've got to have 'it'

This is soo true, even in farangland some men find it very easy to get off with the best looking girls, while others can only get off with the drags(not saying looks are everything) in many cases it does't even relate to the man having good looks. Some men simple find it very easy to attract members of the opposite sex. Maybe this is what Hardensoul resent

Oh Lord, I guess I can afford to skip tomorrow's abdominal workout after reading that.

I mean just what, exactly, is enviable about an old boy relying on coin in order to hook up with a younger woman who, in Morden's own words is NOT "a saggy arsed specimen around [his] own age". He's effectively saying that without his coin, he'd wouldn't even have a snowball in hell's chance of securing that woman.

What, pray tell, is to be resented about that??

I once dated a woman back home, meeting her for a meal after several 'phone conversations. After a pleasant meal and chat, she leaned across the table and asked me whether I had a pension fund. Adding that to other recent experiences with divorced women of a certain age, that was the end of farang women for me. Quite right boy, if I had not provided for retirement, I would be a sad git back home saving beers to buy a pint in the local listening to inane chatter about football. Much better for me here.

My wife is well able to take care of herself and out her older daughter through university. I'm happy to share some of what I have to give both of us a better life. She's happy and so am I. I hope that, one day, you find the same future.

Women I meet don't ask if I've got a bloody pension fund, <deleted>!!

I mean, come on; what kind of women were you meeting? Where were you meeting them? Speed-dating, the internet or something??

I can't ever imagine a conversation with a date containing soundbytes like "So, HS, that pension fund of yours. Is it final salary or money purchase, index-linked or . . ."

Seriously, though, lemme see if I gotcha straight; You've spent your entire working life beavering away feverishly, planning for the handful of years you have left after stopping work only to rock up in Thailand to splurge some of that retirement fund on hooking up with and retaining the interest of a "quite a bit" younger woman when, by your own bloody admission, you'd have had a better chance of winning the lottery than pulling her without your coin?

You're delusional, mate.

Edited May 19, 2013 by HardenedSoul

[robblok]

Oh Lord, I guess I can afford to skip tomorrow's abdominal workout after reading that.

I mean just what, exactly, is enviable about an old boy relying on coin in order to hook up with a younger woman who, in Morden's own words is NOT "a saggy arsed specimen around [his] own age". He's effectively saying that without his coin, he'd wouldn't even have a snowball in hell's chance of securing that woman.

What, pray tell, is to be resented about that??

Today I was in MBK Bkk where Thais are that are able to spend some money. I was looking at Thai Thai couples to see age difference. I did not see a single one.. so they clearly prefer their own age group when there is no financial incentive.

So yes if you want something you cant get because your old or out of shape you will have to pay for it. In my opinion there is nothing wrong with that.. what is wrong if they are kidding themselves that its not the money but their "maturity".

Anyway nothing wrong with baiting the hook if you want something young, just keep in mind that its the money. I am pretty sure that if im at that age i would still like younger too. I just hope I never become stupid thinking they are there for me instead for my money. So now that i still can attract them without money i can keep the money for when I need it later

Try the same thing in gold shops.

Good point but then there is that financial incentive that overrules it all.. But good point for sure. Anyway I was just in MBK to buy some stuff and eat with my dad and my gf. I am pretty sure some heads turned as she was hugging him and walking hand in hand with him at times.

But the food was good the shopping too.. too bad the reds had blocked many of the roads leading there so there was quite a bit of traffic going there.

Edited May 19, 2013 by robblok

[Beetlejuice]

My wife is 35 years younger been with her 14 years

My hair is dye Black everyone knows

I am fooling nobody but myself

The important one to fool

Do you pay for my wine, steaks or gas for the car or even pay for yes my huge Electricty Bill

Blimey, you must be old. If she your wife or your carer?

[FDog]

I mean just what, exactly, is enviable about an old boy relying on coin in order to hook up with a younger woman who, in Morden's own words is NOT "a saggy arsed specimen around [his] own age". He's effectively saying that without his coin, he'd wouldn't even have a snowball in hell's chance of securing that woman.

What, pray tell, is to be resented about that??

I once dated a woman back home, meeting her for a meal after several 'phone conversations. After a pleasant meal and chat, she leaned across the table and asked me whether I had a pension fund. Adding that to other recent experiences with divorced women of a certain age, that was the end of farang women for me. Quite right boy, if I had not provided for retirement, I would be a sad git back home saving beers to buy a pint in the local listening to inane chatter about football. Much better for me here.

My wife is well able to take care of herself and out her older daughter through university. I'm happy to share some of what I have to give both of us a better life. She's happy and so am I. I hope that, one day, you find the same future.

Women I meet don't ask if I've got a bloody pension fund, <deleted>!!

I mean, come on; what kind of women were you meeting? Where were you meeting them? Speed-dating, the internet or something??

I can't ever imagine a conversation with a date containing soundbytes like "So, HS, that pension fund of yours. Is it final salary or money purchase, index-linked or . . ."

Seriously, though, lemme see if I gotcha straight; You've spent your entire working life beavering away feverishly, planning for the handful of years you have left after stopping work only to rock up in Thailand to splurge some of that retirement fund on hooking up with and retaining the interest of a "quite a bit" younger woman when, by your own bloody admission, you'd have had a better chance of winning the lottery than pulling her without your coin?

You're delusional, mate.

Sounds absolutely perfect.

Edited May 19, 2013 by metisdead
30) Do not modify someone else's post in your quoted reply, either with font or color changes, added emoticons, or altered wording.

[SteeleJoe]

so young men don't have money, that's a foolish statement.

At least for one if he was broke he and she would know what's driving the relationship, besides that don't assume young people have no money.

There's been a lot of talk - as there always with this topic - of young men being jealous of the old men. It's a weak almost desperate point but I suspect has SOME element of truth in some instances. As a no longer young guy who unlike a lot of the old guys in Thailand, WAS a young man here, I can tell you that sometimes I was indeed jealous of what the older dudes could do because of their relative wealth; however I used to notice the other side as well: a lot of people don't believe this and don't want to believe it but a young guy who is reasonably good looking, fit, and knows how to use some charm and the right words (especially in Thai) can get laid in Thailand a LOT without spending money. Working in popular pubs and clubs and later just going out a whole lot, and having those attributes, as a young man I could attest to that and the older dudes resented the hell out of it (as did the ones who weren't so old but still had to pay).

Having said that, it really sucked to be able to pull but constantly be restricted by limited funds and not only did it sometimes impede one's ability to score, it was really awful when you wanted treat someone as nicely as an older dude could but you couldn't afford it...

...and even far worse was when I was truly broke but had met a woman who was beautiful, smart, incredibly kind, funny? That was really awful. Having her support me and not being able to show her that I was sincere and not just with her because she could sponsor me. Awful.

And yet, and this is the part that relates to MuayThai's post, over the last 20 years I've thought so many times how incredibly lucky I was to be broke when I met her. We went thought hard, hard times and it was soul-crushing not to be able to treat her like she deserved or even look after her properly, but to this day I have the incredible gift of knowing that she was with me and is with me for no reason other than the ones I want her to be...

Forgive my self-indulgent ramble. Believe it or not, that was a short version.

(Anyone who wants to attack me for this post is just twisted. It may be very boring but it is harmless).

EDIT TO ADD: I forgot to say it is indeed foolish to claim young men inherently have nothing financial to offer: my period of poverty had little to do with my age and I've known and know lots of younger men who do very well in terms of cash flow and material assets.

Edited May 19, 2013 by SteeleJoe

[HardenedSoul]

I mean just what, exactly, is enviable about an old boy relying on coin in order to hook up with a younger woman who, in Morden's own words is NOT "a saggy arsed specimen around [his] own age". He's effectively saying that without his coin, he'd wouldn't even have a snowball in hell's chance of securing that woman.

What, pray tell, is to be resented about that??

I once dated a woman back home, meeting her for a meal after several 'phone conversations. After a pleasant meal and chat, she leaned across the table and asked me whether I had a pension fund. Adding that to other recent experiences with divorced women of a certain age, that was the end of farang women for me. Quite right boy, if I had not provided for retirement, I would be a sad git back home saving beers to buy a pint in the local listening to inane chatter about football. Much better for me here.

My wife is well able to take care of herself and out her older daughter through university. I'm happy to share some of what I have to give both of us a better life. She's happy and so am I. I hope that, one day, you find the same future.

Women I meet don't ask if I've got a bloody pension fund, <deleted>!!

I mean, come on; what kind of women were you meeting? Where were you meeting them? Speed-dating, the internet or something??

I can't ever imagine a conversation with a date containing soundbytes like "So, HS, that pension fund of yours. Is it final salary or money purchase, index-linked or . . ."

Seriously, though, lemme see if I gotcha straight; You've spent your entire working life beavering away feverishly, planning for the handful of years you have left after stopping work only to rock up in Thailand to splurge some of that retirement fund on hooking up with and retaining the interest of a "quite a bit" younger woman when, by your own bloody admission, you'd have had a better chance of winning the lottery than pulling her without your coin?

You're delusional, mate.

Sounds absolutely perfect.

Yep.

If you've forgotten to actually have a life before retiring.

As Lennon said, "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"

[OldChinaHam]

"we are 9 years apart she is 40 and i am 49"

9 years is not much of an age difference at your age.

But just make sure your age difference does not keep increasing/widening as the years roll by.

Edited May 19, 2013 by OldChinaHam

[Morden]

Yes you're right about the pension not relevant, I've always drawn much younger women, even before Thailand, I guess some of us just have that ability, so when I met my Thai wife, nothing really changed....for some maybe maybe a young wife is a new experience.....for me it wasn't.......sorry to inform you young guys.... ......it isn't all about money.....you've got to have 'it'

This is soo true, even in farangland some men find it very easy to get off with the best looking girls, while others can only get off with the drags(not saying looks are everything) in many cases it does't even relate to the man having good looks. Some men simple find it very easy to attract members of the opposite sex. Maybe this is what Hardensoul resent

Oh Lord, I guess I can afford to skip tomorrow's abdominal workout after reading that.

I mean just what, exactly, is enviable about an old boy relying on coin in order to hook up with a younger woman who, in Morden's own words is NOT "a saggy arsed specimen around [his] own age". He's effectively saying that without his coin, he'd wouldn't even have a snowball in hell's chance of securing that woman.

What, pray tell, is to be resented about that??

I once dated a woman back home, meeting her for a meal after several 'phone conversations. After a pleasant meal and chat, she leaned across the table and asked me whether I had a pension fund. Adding that to other recent experiences with divorced women of a certain age, that was the end of farang women for me. Quite right boy, if I had not provided for retirement, I would be a sad git back home saving beers to buy a pint in the local listening to inane chatter about football. Much better for me here.

My wife is well able to take care of herself and out her older daughter through university. I'm happy to share some of what I have to give both of us a better life. She's happy and so am I. I hope that, one day, you find the same future.

Women I meet don't ask if I've got a bloody pension fund, <deleted>!!

I mean, come on; what kind of women were you meeting? Where were you meeting them? Speed-dating, the internet or something??

I can't ever imagine a conversation with a date containing soundbytes like "So, HS, that pension fund of yours. Is it final salary or money purchase, index-linked or . . ."

Seriously, though, lemme see if I gotcha straight; You've spent your entire working life beavering away feverishly, planning for the handful of years you have left after stopping work only to rock up in Thailand to splurge some of that retirement fund on hooking up with and retaining the interest of a "quite a bit" younger woman when, by your own bloody admission, you'd have had a better chance of winning the lottery than pulling her without your coin?

You're delusional, mate.

You're making assumptions, mate, my boy.

I said that one woman asked me the question <deleted>. I met the one and that was enough.

I spent my working and private life doing many things, more than you perhaps. Maybe you will survive to an age where you too will consider what you will do with your retirement years. I hope you make it to my age, boy! It's a good place to be if you prepare for it. Looking at all the kids who think they known it all and smiling at them.

One more gratuitous and ill-informed comment about my wife and you get a report. Keep your comments to me please.

[cardholder]

sometimes times I go to comedy festivals for a laugh, other times I head to the circus and watch the clowns.

when I'm bored of that I watch the old guys walk around BKK with their woman's hand in the back pocket.

They certainly are living the dream, maybe one day they will wake up.

You younger guys are just jelaous!

Yes for a fit elder guy, it is certainly possible to live the dream here, if you got a little money.

Whenever I see a Thai woman walking with a young farang, I feel sorry for her, as there is nothing in the backpocket for her!

so young men don't have money, that's a foolish statement.

At least for one if he was broke he and she would know what's driving the relationship, besides that don't assume young people have no money.

There's been a lot of talk - as there always with this topic - of young men being jealous of the old men. It's a weak almost desperate point but I suspect has SOME element of truth in some instances. As a no longer young guy who unlike a lot of the old guys in Thailand, WAS a young man here, I can tell you that sometimes I was indeed jealous of what the older dudes could do because of their relative wealth; however I used to notice the other side as well: a lot of people don't believe this and don't want to believe it but a young guy who is reasonably good looking, fit, and knows how to use some charm and the right words (especially in Thai) can get laid in Thailand a LOT without spending money. Working in popular pubs and clubs and later just going out a whole lot, and having those attributes, as a young man I could attest to that and the older dudes resented the hell out of it (as did the ones who weren't so old but still had to pay).

Having said that, it really sucked to be able to pull but constantly be restricted by limited funds and not only did it sometimes impede one's ability to score, it was really awful when you wanted treat someone as nicely as an older dude could but you couldn't afford it...

...and even far worse was when I was truly broke but had met a woman who was beautiful, smart, incredibly kind, funny? That was really awful. Having her support me and not being able to show her that I was sincere and not just with her because she could sponsor me. Awful.

And yet, and this is the part that relates to MuayThai's post, over the last 20 years I've thought so many times how incredibly lucky I was to be broke when I met her. We went thought hard, hard times and it was soul-crushing not to be able to treat her like she deserved or even look after her properly, but to this day I have the incredible gift of knowing that she was with me and is with me for no reason other than the ones I want her to be...

Forgive my self-indulgent ramble. Believe it or not, that was a short version.

(Anyone who wants to attack me for this post is just twisted. It may be very boring but it is harmless).

I am one at the older end of the scale, have been coming to Thailand for 8 years since I was almost 50. Never came before that because no one suggested it and I was a regular traveler in Europe.

I have never been jealous of the younger guys, whether they pay for their companions or get it free. Everyone knows the system and the same girls giving it for free to S-J were quite likely paying for the services of Thai men around salary time.

The fact remains that there is enough to go round for everybody. I met my partner 7 years ago - she is 19 years younger than me. I wasn't looking for a partner but we hit it off OK and things gradually developed until I stayed here full time. Her role is to look after me and my job is to take care of her. Jointly, we have a responsibility to do some meaningful things together that are mutually satisfying. Equally, it is important to spend some time apart doing our own things.

All this has nothing to do with age difference. Relationships are more about degrees of mutual respect, caring, companionship, sex, trust, understanding - I hesitate to include "love" because it has so many meanings to different people, and particularly between cultures.

I have seen a few (not many) successful relationships where the age difference has been 30+ years. I have seen many fail where there is little or no age gap.

It is more about the attitudes, desires, aspirations and understanding of two parties rather than just an age gap.

[Morden]

I mean just what, exactly, is enviable about an old boy relying on coin in order to hook up with a younger woman who, in Morden's own words is NOT "a saggy arsed specimen around [his] own age". He's effectively saying that without his coin, he'd wouldn't even have a snowball in hell's chance of securing that woman.

What, pray tell, is to be resented about that??

I once dated a woman back home, meeting her for a meal after several 'phone conversations. After a pleasant meal and chat, she leaned across the table and asked me whether I had a pension fund. Adding that to other recent experiences with divorced women of a certain age, that was the end of farang women for me. Quite right boy, if I had not provided for retirement, I would be a sad git back home saving beers to buy a pint in the local listening to inane chatter about football. Much better for me here.

My wife is well able to take care of herself and out her older daughter through university. I'm happy to share some of what I have to give both of us a better life. She's happy and so am I. I hope that, one day, you find the same future.

Women I meet don't ask if I've got a bloody pension fund, <deleted>!!

I mean, come on; what kind of women were you meeting? Where were you meeting them? Speed-dating, the internet or something??

I can't ever imagine a conversation with a date containing soundbytes like "So, HS, that pension fund of yours. Is it final salary or money purchase, index-linked or . . ."

Seriously, though, lemme see if I gotcha straight; You've spent your entire working life beavering away feverishly, planning for the handful of years you have left after stopping work only to rock up in Thailand to splurge some of that retirement fund on hooking up with and retaining the interest of a "quite a bit" younger woman when, by your own bloody admission, you'd have had a better chance of winning the lottery than pulling her without your coin?

You're delusional, mate.

Sounds absolutely perfect.

Yep.

If you've forgotten to actually have a life before retiring.

As Lennon said, "Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans"

Live and make plans at the same time. Lennon didn't make it to retirement!

[SteeleJoe]

I am one at the older end of the scale, have been coming to Thailand for 8 years since I was almost 50. Never came before that because no one suggested it and I was a regular traveler in Europe.

I have never been jealous of the younger guys, whether they pay for their companions or get it free. Everyone knows the system and the same girls giving it for free to S-J were quite likely paying for the services of Thai men around salary time.

The fact remains that there is enough to go round for everybody. I met my partner 7 years ago - she is 19 years younger than me. I wasn't looking for a partner but we hit it off OK and things gradually developed until I stayed here full time. Her role is to look after me and my job is to take care of her. Jointly, we have a responsibility to do some meaningful things together that are mutually satisfying. Equally, it is important to spend some time apart doing our own things.

All this has nothing to do with age difference. Relationships are more about degrees of mutual respect, caring, companionship, sex, trust, understanding - I hesitate to include "love" because it has so many meanings to different people, and particularly between cultures.

I have seen a few (not many) successful relationships where the age difference has been 30+ years. I have seen many fail where there is little or no age gap.

It is more about the attitudes, desires, aspirations and understanding of two parties rather than just an age gap.

Quality. Outstanding post.

PS: I erred in suggesting that all the older guys resented people like me - I wouldn't know if that were true, wouldn't assume it was, and seriously doubt it could be. SOME did (but it didn't do me any good and only very rarely brought me some paltry and petty gratification. Mostly it had me at odds with people I'd prefer to have gotten on with - especially since there weren't always all that many young guys around back then...)

[Morden]

I am one at the older end of the scale, have been coming to Thailand for 8 years since I was almost 50. Never came before that because no one suggested it and I was a regular traveler in Europe.

You younger guys are just jelaous!

Yes for a fit elder guy, it is certainly possible to live the dream here, if you got a little money.

Whenever I see a Thai woman walking with a young farang, I feel sorry for her, as there is nothing in the backpocket for her!

so young men don't have money, that's a foolish statement.

At least for one if he was broke he and she would know what's driving the relationship, besides that don't assume young people have no money.

There's been a lot of talk - as there always with this topic - of young men being jealous of the old men. It's a weak almost desperate point but I suspect has SOME element of truth in some instances. As a no longer young guy who unlike a lot of the old guys in Thailand, WAS a young man here, I can tell you that sometimes I was indeed jealous of what the older dudes could do because of their relative wealth; however I used to notice the other side as well: a lot of people don't believe this and don't want to believe it but a young guy who is reasonably good looking, fit, and knows how to use some charm and the right words (especially in Thai) can get laid in Thailand a LOT without spending money. Working in popular pubs and clubs and later just going out a whole lot, and having those attributes, as a young man I could attest to that and the older dudes resented the hell out of it (as did the ones who weren't so old but still had to pay).

Having said that, it really sucked to be able to pull but constantly be restricted by limited funds and not only did it sometimes impede one's ability to score, it was really awful when you wanted treat someone as nicely as an older dude could but you couldn't afford it...

...and even far worse was when I was truly broke but had met a woman who was beautiful, smart, incredibly kind, funny? That was really awful. Having her support me and not being able to show her that I was sincere and not just with her because she could sponsor me. Awful.

And yet, and this is the part that relates to MuayThai's post, over the last 20 years I've thought so many times how incredibly lucky I was to be broke when I met her. We went thought hard, hard times and it was soul-crushing not to be able to treat her like she deserved or even look after her properly, but to this day I have the incredible gift of knowing that she was with me and is with me for no reason other than the ones I want her to be...

Forgive my self-indulgent ramble. Believe it or not, that was a short version.

(Anyone who wants to attack me for this post is just twisted. It may be very boring but it is harmless).

I have never been jealous of the younger guys, whether they pay for their companions or get it free. Everyone knows the system and the same girls giving it for free to S-J were quite likely paying for the services of Thai men around salary time.

The fact remains that there is enough to go round for everybody. I met my partner 7 years ago - she is 19 years younger than me. I wasn't looking for a partner but we hit it off OK and things gradually developed until I stayed here full time. Her role is to look after me and my job is to take care of her. Jointly, we have a responsibility to do some meaningful things together that are mutually satisfying. Equally, it is important to spend some time apart doing our own things.

All this has nothing to do with age difference. Relationships are more about degrees of mutual respect, caring, companionship, sex, trust, understanding - I hesitate to include "love" because it has so many meanings to different people, and particularly between cultures.

I have seen a few (not many) successful relationships where the age difference has been 30+ years. I have seen many fail where there is little or no age gap.

It is more about the attitudes, desires, aspirations and understanding of two parties rather than just an age gap.

Great post!

Respect is important and, it seems, often lacking.

[SteeleJoe]

Live and make plans at the same time. Lennon didn't make it to retirement!

Don't think any plans he made or could have made would have changed that (other than to wear a bullet proof vest). And his heirs were left with adequate means, I think.

[SteeleJoe]

Respect is important and, it seems, often lacking.

Says Pot, about Kettle...

[Morden]

Respect is important and, it seems, often lacking.

Says Pot, about Kettle...

Which members have been insulting the wives of others on this thread? If they want to play that game they have to take the responses.

[MAJIC]

to many people assume young men are not financially stable.

to many assume youth is an indication of a lack of maturity when they are acting in a less then mature way themselves.

Maturity and experience has nothing to do with age, like I said most people live a life time having done very little yet claim to know so much simply because they are older.

On another note, I really wish people would stop thinking we really give a hoot about any ones relationships, It is however a forum and we were kind of asked to give our view, giving your view does not mean you really care,

A lot of "we's" here,so you are the official spokesman for those that don't like old fellas with younger women then?

and then you say in the above Post:

On another note, I really wish people would stop thinking we really give a hoot about any ones relationships, It is however a forum and we were kind of asked to give our view, giving your view does not mean you really care,

Hmm,given your heavy input into this thread,strangely I think you care too much!

[HardenedSoul]

One more gratuitous and ill-informed comment about my wife and you get a report. Keep your comments to me please.

What gratuitous and ill-informed comment?

From what I've read, gramps, NO ONE has insulted your wife! All my comments have been aimed squarely at you and no one else.

Frankly, I take far, far less issue with any age gap that may exist between you and and your wife than I do with the fact that, ultimately, whichever way you persist in dressing it up, you are engaged in a policy of buying/retaining her interest with your money. Whether or not you actually need to is largely beside the point. The fact is you evidently feel like you need to and therein lies your folly.

You suggest that you haven't spent more money or lavished any more gifts than any "responsible" husband would on his wife but I put it to you that most husbands - including those with the means - don't go out buying second homes in the wife's name and second cars . . . unless, of course, they're afraid of losing her.

As I said before, don't post information on the forum if you can't take the criticism and then hide behind imagined insults about your wife when you can't back up your pathetic argument.

You've spent the lion's share of this thread posting patronising and condescending comments about younger men being "boys", "financially insolvent" and "pricks" when you know sweet FA about anyone else's financail standing so perhaps it is you who are envious of those of us who don't need to go to your lengths in order to be happy with a woman, young or mature, Thai or otherwise.

[FDog]

I don't think he 'needs' to to anything to keep his wife. It's just that he wants to buy those things for her.

When women in the west are the home carer and the husband buys things are their wives then being bought?

[HardenedSoul]

I don't think he 'needs' to to anything to keep his wife. It's just that he wants to buy those things for her.

When women in the west are the home carer and the husband buys things are their wives then being bought?

No but that's not the situation here, is it?

From what Morden's said, she ain't a housewife. She's got her own house and car and puts her kid through university so she's got her own dosh.

[Eesat]

I'm not a fan of woman who seek older men, I'm not saying i'm right but i'm entitled to my thoughts.

I don't think highly of girls that accept gifts like Houses or cars, more so if they have one already,It does not say much about the womans character as she could say no being that it's not needed.

I also could not understand from any point of view why anyone in the right mind would purchase a house in Thailand, It's not and never will be yours.

So you're just not a fan of women then?All girls like older guys because all girls are in love with their Father,it's called the Electra Complex and the male version is the Oedipus Complex.

Some of you wet-behind-the-ears kids on here are very naïve,then again I knew it all when I was in my twenties also!

Hot twentysomething girls don't like guys the same age because they are all like dogs with two dicks,it's not a challenge for a hot young girl to date some young idiot who has no idea how to treat her and is way too immature for her!

Not only have you generalized to a ridiculous extent but you've mangled the Electra/Oedipal complexes - Jung's theory is by no means proven or universally accepted and even he never said "all girls are in love with their father" - it is supposed to be a stage of development that people pass through as young children. It is the exceptions that are fixated at that stage into adulthood.

Aside from how absurdly broad your declaration of the second paragraph is, it is self-evidently fallacious; one would have to be living in a cave not to have seen thousands of cases of hot twentysomething girls who like guys the same age. And as for the relative desperation of young men or the challenge in catching one - do you honestly think a hot young woman typically finds it challenging to get an older man who wants her desperately?

No offense but that post was not even close to sensible.

So you think that all girls don't love their Father then,really?As you state it is a stage that girls pass through and then go on to have more appropriate relationships with other males that aren't their Fathers.Are their Fathers older or younger than the girls?Your statements are ridiculous and nonsensical!

As for you,you are maybe on the mature side or have a face for radio that cannot therefore attract younger females,without significant financial stimulus or coercion,I really don't know or care?What I can tell you is that I'm in my forties now and can certainly attract the sort of females that I couldn't when I was in my twenties.For me the term 'Life begins at forty' has proven to be the rule,maybe not so in your case?

I know I can go to fashionable places in Europe like Ibiza or Barcelona and still attract plenty of pretty young twentysomethings no problem.I have style,confidence and dance like a black man!

Maybe I should be bottling it and selling it to people like yourself who obviously struggle with any female not used to accepting money for the pleasure of a night of passion with some ageing monger in a wife-beater and thongs?You talk about generalisations but are another one generalising that everyone that comes to Thailand is as obviously unsuccessful with women as you are back in your home country!Now to me that really is the saddest generalisation of all,along with assuming that all people are sex tourists in Thailand like you most likely are!

[PalMan]

All this has nothing to do with age difference. Relationships are more about degrees of mutual respect, caring, companionship, sex, trust, understanding - I hesitate to include "love" because it has so many meanings to different people, and particularly between cultures.

I have seen a few (not many) successful relationships where the age difference has been 30+ years. I have seen many fail where there is little or no age gap.

It is more about the attitudes, desires, aspirations and understanding of two parties rather than just an age gap.

-

Excellent point and kudos for avoiding the nebulous L word.

One nit-pick is the idea that a relationship "fails" just because it ends. Nearly every relationship of any type has a natural arc from beginning to end, and some of the most rewarding ones I've had have been relatively short. Obviously not just talking about sexual/romantic.

But within that context the fairy-tale "ideal" of til-death-do-us-part is IMO one of the biggest roadblocks to happiness, a pretty unrealistic goal, and for many of us not even desirable - and that should be OK.

[MAJIC]

sometimes times I go to comedy festivals for a laugh, other times I head to the circus and watch the clowns.

when I'm bored of that I watch the old guys walk around BKK with their woman's hand in the back pocket.

They certainly are living the dream, maybe one day they will wake up.

You younger guys are just jelaous!

Yes for a fit elder guy, it is certainly possible to live the dream here, if you got a little money.

Whenever I see a Thai woman walking with a young farang, I feel sorry for her, as there is nothing in the backpocket for her!

so young men don't have money, that's a foolish statement.

At least for one if he was broke he and she would know what's driving the relationship, besides that don't assume young people have no money.

I have never seen young people in Thailand able to compete financially,with the older generation.which for the most part,consist of Retirees on Pensions (Private or State,or both),ex businessmen,those that have cashed in their assets,sold their hugely priced houses in their own Country,sold their businesses,or kept their business on auto pilot (practically running it's self),and draw an income down,those that invested big money in Thailand (and generated an income) living on property rentals from their own country,and much more.

There are the exceptions,but in general,young people have not worked, or lived long enough to accrue wealth, or formulated a get out plan,at a still young age,the exceptions are few,but accepted,there are some!

[NeverSure]

Such anger. Such division. Such lack of "live and let live." Such butting into other peoples' business. Such aggressiveness.

For young and old alike, I suggest spending some time reading the marriage and divorce, and the children and parenting sections here. They should scare the crap out of a sane man.

Just for me, I have some "rules" I follow. How I do it is, well, none of your business. How you do it is none of mine. If you are happy, congratulations. At any age, I wish you only happiness however you define that for yourself.

First, I would never get married in LOS. The laws, rules, and courts could screw me. Thais stick together even in a family or neighborhood. Wives have been known to sell the house for cash, clear out the checkbook and disappear with the kids. What a mess.

Second I would never buy property whether real or personal in a Thai's name.

Third, I would never reveal my true financial situation to anyone in Thailand. My assets stay in my home country with just enough transferred as needed.

Fourth, I will actually be untruthful about my assets. I want a Thai woman to think "that's all there is."

Fifth, If a woman wants a house or car she can buy it herself in her own name. I am then free to make the payments and help with other expenses. Did it ever occur to anyone that this is actually a cheap way to live? Live in her house and admit to only an income of 50,000 baht and put it into the pool as long as the relationship lasts, but be free to walk?

Six, I'd never let a Thai woman move in with me. (Thanks to another member for all the reasons for that.) They are too hard to get rid of. Have her rent or buy the place and either move in with her, or preferably have separate places and subsidize her.

I can own a car and moto in my name. I can own my personal belongings. I won't buy anything I can't own, and that includes trying to buy a wife, which we all know some try to do.

No anger please. These are my choices for me only.

[rene123]

You guys don't know how good you have it. If a woman is feeling a bit randy and wants some action she is considered to be a slut if she approaches a man. Don't even ask me what people will say if she approaches a man much younger than herself. There certainly are double standards. You've all heard the derogatory comment "cougar" when referring to women my age. They don't have a similar category for men on the prowl.

[NeverSure]

You guys don't know how good you have it. If a woman is feeling a bit randy and wants some action she is considered to be a slut if she approaches a man. Don't even ask me what people will say if she approaches a man much younger than herself. There certainly are double standards. You've all heard the derogatory comment "cougar" when referring to women my age. They don't have a similar category for men on the prowl.

I don't understand. You can have a younger Thai man if you're willing to foot the bill. Maybe it's just harder for a woman to arrive at a place where she'd do that? With men it's common.

I think we're in the same situation. I can have a woman close to my age not only for free, but she may be able to pay her way. But if I want a much younger woman, it's going to cost me.

Where's the difference?