detinu68 Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 (edited) "Cutting off the nose to spite the face" is an expression used to describe a needlessly self-destructive over-reaction to a problem. A friend of mine from Hungary (40 yrs old) is soon to leave Thailand after 6 months because he's run out of cash and has fallen out with his girlfriend. He has no job and no income from abroad. He has a lovely Thai girlfriend who until recently ran a roadside snack-bar, which he provided the initial capital for, and that he thought financed their existence. Unbeknown to him, she was also freelancing on Beach Road to generate extra cash. He found out about it last week. When he told me about it I tried to put it into perspective for him. He met her in a bar. And he paid her for sex several times until she moved in with him. Maybe he thought he'd "rescued" her from her previous life. He can't accept what she does even though he knew what she did (and continues to do) when he met her. He's made a very emotional decision, which I can understand up to a point, but I think he's making a mistake which he will live to regret when he ends up living penniless with his mother in Budapest. Edited May 19, 2013 by detinu68 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petercool Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 I think he made a mistake very early so making another by expecting things to change for him here seems pointless. At 40 he has lots of time to find a life back home. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post hotandhumid Posted May 19, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted May 19, 2013 It sounds like she rescued him, not the other way around. And 'existance' was a good choice of words...as that is exactly what it was, an existance. I'd say he's made the right call going back home to live with his old mum. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swissie Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 It sounds like she rescued him, not the other way around. And 'existance' was a good choice of words...as that is exactly what it was, an existance. I'd say he's made the right call going back home to live with his old mum. Definitely. Better penniless in Hungary with mom, than penniless in Pattaya. (The ultimate nightmare). Cheers. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post yoslim Posted May 19, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted May 19, 2013 (edited) Why would he go back, he struck gold if he got a free GF who will give him some beer money Edited May 19, 2013 by yoslim 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post hotandhumid Posted May 19, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted May 19, 2013 Why would he go back, he struck gold if he got a free GF who will give him some beer money Poncing an existance off an old brass is striking gold? Blimey. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yoslim Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 (edited) Why would he go back, he struck gold if he got a free GF who will give him some beer money Poncing an existance off an old brass is striking gold? Blimey. For sure sounds better than sit at home watching TV with mum Edited May 19, 2013 by yoslim 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pattayadingo Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 Seems to me that he had started to believe he was the one for her, that their future was together as a couple. Then he found out the reality of the relationship. Maybe that has shattered his dream - or his ego. Is he better off here in Pattaya living with a woman whom he maybe cares a lot about but has different men slobbering all over her night after night or better off back home where at least he can start again, lesson learnt? I'd prefer to be back home than lying next to a woman I care a lot about but who has so many different men inside her week in and week out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnotherOneAmerican Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 Seems to me that he had started to believe he was the one for her, that their future was together as a couple. Then he found out the reality of the relationship. Maybe that has shattered his dream - or his ego. Is he better off here in Pattaya living with a woman whom he maybe cares a lot about but has different men slobbering all over her night after night or better off back home where at least he can start again, lesson learnt? I'd prefer to be back home than lying next to a woman I care a lot about but who has so many different men inside her week in and week out Quick shower and it's all good again. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jimmybkk Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 It's about honesty/deception. Perhaps, had she explained to him what was going on, he could've accepted it, but it's the deception that hurts. Imagine you have 2 friends, and they both owe you 1,000 Baht. The first one comes to you and says - "Hey, i'm ever so sorry, i don't have the 1,000 Baht I owe you, but here's 800 for the time being... " The second friend comes to you and says "Here's that 1,000 baht I owe you..." and stuffs a bunch of wrinkled notes into your hand. Only later, when you get home and count it do you discover there's only 800 Baht in that wrinkled bunch of notes... There's a lot to be said for honesty... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raro Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 We keep our moral standards also in this thread in line with the forum rules, don't we? Sent from my GT-N7000 using Thaivisa Connect Thailand mobile app 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detinu68 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Share Posted May 19, 2013 My friend wasn't the first, and certainly won't be last, to fall for a bar girl. The problem is that he wants her exclusively or not at all. That's the sad thing about it, they both care for each other but neither is willing to compromise. The reality is that Pattaya bar girls don't do exclusivity. You can rent them for a week or two on your holiday. You can even send them money from home after you've fallen in love and they promise to return to their village. But life's not like that. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chicken George Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 No such thing as a Free Lunch! Go home. Start agsin. Bpen dec yoo.. Still a young man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
candypants Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 at 40, if he is surprised the woman he paid for sx is a whore, it may be time for him to move on. As for her, she has done absolutely nothing wrong, especially if the fruits of her labors were supporting them both. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orac Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 My friend wasn't the first, and certainly won't be last, to fall for a bar girl. The problem is that he wants her exclusively or not at all. That's the sad thing about it, they both care for each other but neither is willing to compromise. The reality is that Pattaya bar girls don't do exclusivity. You can rent them for a week or two on your holiday. You can even send them money from home after you've fallen in love and they promise to return to their village. But life's not like that. Your friend sounds a touch naive if he thought this girl could provide an income for the two of them just from a roadside food stall. Surely the compromise should have been for him to get himself a job rather expecting to sponge off his girlfriend. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detinu68 Posted May 19, 2013 Author Share Posted May 19, 2013 Interesting comments from everyone. There's always a wide spectrum of opinion. My friend arrived in Pattaya as a sex tourist, like millions of others every year and fell for a bar girl. Nothing new there. I just wish he could forget his traditional Christian upbringing and accept things the way they are. It's not bad to be a bar girl. And it's not bad to live off the earnings of others. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulthailand99 Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 (edited) Round and round we go on the lovely Thailand merry go-round - there are enough warnings on Thai Visa forum for those that take a cursory look. He will recover soon and get back on the horse hopefully a wiser man. This movie has been mentioned in the Thailand Videos sub-forum - he was lucky ! http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/640458-what-are-these-women-saying/ Edited May 19, 2013 by beautifulthailand99 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arkady Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 (edited) He'll be better off with his mother in Budapest than with a Thai whore in Pattaya without money. Even if he forgives her profession which he knew about from the start. At least he is legally allowed to work in Hungary. Edited May 19, 2013 by Arkady 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beautifulthailand99 Posted May 19, 2013 Share Posted May 19, 2013 He'll be better off with his mother in Budapest than with a Thai whore in Pattaya without money. Even if he forgives her profession which he knew about from the start. At least he is legally allowed to work in Hungary. wise words though will he listen this is Thailand mongering 'drugs' we are talking about here. Many addicts and many losers in the game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JSixpack Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 And it's not bad to live off the earnings of others. It's merely weak and, as he discovered, short-sighted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surangw Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 go home and "reboot" his brain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Richie23 Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 What was his original plan out of curiosity? Was his money supposed to last years and he would look for work? Or was the plan to fall for a local that would support him? I'm just wondering what the 'master plan' was to begin with given no further income was seemingly coming from abroad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
detinu68 Posted May 21, 2013 Author Share Posted May 21, 2013 What was his original plan out of curiosity? Was his money supposed to last years and he would look for work? Or was the plan to fall for a local that would support him? I'm just wondering what the 'master plan' was to begin with given no further income was seemingly coming from abroad. He simply came here for a holiday and then decided he didn't want to leave Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
petercool Posted May 21, 2013 Share Posted May 21, 2013 When you have no destination in mind any road will do, I guess, but he got lost and needs to find his way home. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
raro Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 one post deleted that hinted to a website discussing the details of prostitution which we don't want to do here, right? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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