Foreigners And Thais Nothing In Common We Can Relate To, To Talk About

[SinglePot]

And just for the criminal record my Thai wife speaks very good English.

Good evening.

[benalibina]

By coming as a visitor here, for whatever duration, to enjoy yourself and spending money therefore, 1 does see a society on a certain, more ignorant and unconcerning, way. When 1 gets ties here, partner + kids, business etc, 1 cannot easily walk away from that and 1 starts to see society on another way. It is normal then to make comparisons about certain matters between thail and back home. I never had in all my years intellectual conversations with thai people. 1 might be able to speak thai but 1 converses by thinking in our own perception and language. This applies for thais as well. Lighthearted subjects, food soccer women/men etc 1 can do on the surface. Depth in conversation requires thinking, knowledge and empathy. Almost not there. But this goes as well for many, majority, of expats in thailand.

[theblether]

Okay StreetCowboy, I understand what you are saying basically. But this isn't about "can we converse about something, anything ..." we all can, I am sure.

When I went one day to a regular restaurant I visited often, I found out a 20-21 year old waitress had died the night before due to a fluke medical event, that happens from time to time. Not an accident or anything she could be blamed for. I was appalled to hear everyone talking about her, like she was some shit on their shoe, because now that she had DIED at a young age, everyone decided, she DESERVED to die, due to her karma, therefore she must be a bad person, and deserved now, everyone's scorn!

I was seriously distressed by this. On the other hand, when somebody gets a new car/motorbike, has a blessing ceremony, gets crazily drunk to celebrate, drives with no lights and no helmet or seatbelt/aribags, and then crashes and dies on the way home, and I SAY, it was really stupid to let him drive so drunk and suggest this might be a lesson for others, people look like they will faint in shock at my analysis! They can't believe it, anymore than I believe their story, that a bad ghost caused the accident.

I could give you a list of 100s of events, like this, in my anecdotal life here in Thailand. These are the times one decides that we have nothing in common with Thais, in general, for the most part, not ALL, etc.

This is the part of life that "theblether" is missing. I could also list 1000 things he is missing because he hasn't tried to accomplish certain things here, in his part-time tourist life. And he probably THINKS he is getting along so well with everyone here, because THAI people make you feel that way, by telling lies, and agreeing with everything you say ..at least at his point here. I would suggest, as a test of course, for him to open a business here, get married, have kids, build a house, invest money with his new friends, and see what differences come up, if any??

......and join the sea of misery that far too many people here have entrapped themselves in?

You must be joking.

[benalibina]

Your comment, the blether,says many things. Probably without you realizing it !

[bigbamboo]

If you're English have you ever tried talking to the average American about sports?

They like rounders, hockey on ice, netball, a form of football where hardly anyone even touches the ball let alone kicks it and motor racing where the cars just go round and round in circles forever.

Edited June 10, 2013 by bigbamboo

[highonthai]

About 50% of foreigners I run into here I find that I have nothing in common with. Not interested in their latest conquest (girls) or their constant whining and complaining about their life here.So I 'd rather not start or get into a conversation with them.(with out being rude)

On the other hand, my Thai/Foreign friends that share the same hobbies or mindset or something in common, enjoy talking together on many different levels.

[hookedondhamma]

If you're English have you ever tried talking to the average American about sports?

They like rounders, hockey on ice, netball, a form of football where hardly anyone even touches the ball let alone kicks it and motor racing where the cars just go round and round in circles forever.

No, not really. You must be using the popular world slagoff for Americans which you consider 'redneck'. As for myself I have never found anything exciting about watching cars go around in a circle ... Or men beating the living daylights out of each other either ...

And what is netball? what is that? must be something new.

Edited June 10, 2013 by hookedondhamma

[theblether]

Your comment, the blether,says many things. Probably without you realizing it !

I know what I said, it's no shock to many members here, they know I have stated I will never live in Thailand full time before. I see no reason to, I can be here when it suits me, gone when it doesn't.

There are tens of thousands of us in this category, if not even hundreds of thousands. Thailand has deliberately made it difficult for foreigners to establish what would be regarded as normal in many other countries. The right to own your home, the right to residency with your family, the right to own your own business.

I look at these bare facts and deduce that while Thailand is a wonderful holiday location, it's an atrocious place to put all your eggs. I for one will never do it, there are countless others that wish they never did.

It's as simple as that.

[David48]

Maybe the question could be asked ... as Westerners bought up under a moderately universal Education system taught to ... 'Tink too much'.

If you question everything, do you actually learn anything?

Do we not try and encapture and enjoy some of the simple pleasures that Thais seem to do without having to analyse, contemplate and dissect them?

I'm not saying that we have it wrong and Thais correct. For me, it is what it is.

.

[benalibina]

Maybe the question could be asked ... as Westerners bought up under a moderately universal Education system taught to ... 'Tink too much'. If you question everything, do you actually learn anything? Do we not try and encapture and enjoy some of the simple pleasures that Thais seem to do without having to analyse, contemplate and dissect them? I'm not saying that we have it wrong and Thais correct. For me, it is what it is..

It is what it is !!

Probably that is why the OP started this topic !

Edited June 10, 2013 by benalibina

[MAJIC]

<p>The disinterest in world politics has to do with the fact that most Thais believe it's the same as with Thai politics. On one hand you could understand them in this, especially if they haven´t been outside the border. Yet there are Thais that live quite well and often go abroad, some even stay 10 years like in the US but never ever mingle with other than their own, which would be Thai-Americans in this case. </p><p> </p><p>This is an uneducated guess of course but one could assume that they have problem socializing thus miss the opportunity learning something new. Although this occur even with westerners such as Americans, Brits and other Europeans, the impact is larger among the Thais due to their culture. There are just too many do's and dont´s in it and it never occured to them that now would be a good time to modernize that kind of thinking.</p>

Thailand is the centre of the world !

But only if you are a untravelled Thai who has never had anything else to compare it with.

[sustento]

<p>The disinterest in world politics has to do with the fact that most Thais believe it's the same as with Thai politics. On one hand you could understand them in this, especially if they haven´t been outside the border. Yet there are Thais that live quite well and often go abroad, some even stay 10 years like in the US but never ever mingle with other than their own, which would be Thai-Americans in this case. </p><p> </p><p>This is an uneducated guess of course but one could assume that they have problem socializing thus miss the opportunity learning something new. Although this occur even with westerners such as Americans, Brits and other Europeans, the impact is larger among the Thais due to their culture. There are just too many do's and dont´s in it and it never occured to them that now would be a good time to modernize that kind of thinking.</p>

Thailand is the centre of the world !

But only if you are a untravelled Thai who has never had anything else to compare it with.

Your remark applies to the inhabitants of every country in the world. Go and speak to anyone anywhere who's never left home and ask them about the rest of the world.

Edited June 10, 2013 by sustento

[benalibina]

Thailand is the centre of the world !

But only if you are a untravelled Thai who has never had anything else to compare it with.

Your remark applies to the inhabitants of every country in the world. Go and speak to anyone anywhere who's never left home and ask them about the rest of the world.

This is a forum related to thailand.

You are partly correct in that statement. Maybe many forumposters expect to much. Probably because they expect more from themselves ??

[Kitsune]

Your comment, the blether,says many things. Probably without you realizing it !

I know what I said, it's no shock to many members here, they know I have stated I will never live in Thailand full time before. I see no reason to, I can be here when it suits me, gone when it doesn't.

There are tens of thousands of us in this category, if not even hundreds of thousands. Thailand has deliberately made it difficult for foreigners to establish what would be regarded as normal in many other countries. The right to own your home, the right to residency with your family, the right to own your own business.

I look at these bare facts and deduce that while Thailand is a wonderful holiday location, it's an atrocious place to put all your eggs. I for one will never do it, there are countless others that wish they never did.

It's as simple as that.

Thai bashing !

Edited June 11, 2013 by Kitsune

[StreetCowboy]

If you're English have you ever tried talking to the average American about sports?

They like rounders, hockey on ice, netball, a form of football where hardly anyone even touches the ball let alone kicks it and motor racing where the cars just go round and round in circles forever.

I had a brief discussion once, on this very forum, regarding the difference between the Northern League and the Union. Personally, I would rather not generalise about all Thais, all foreigners, or all Americans, even that subset of them from the United States of America.

SC

[Kitsune]

Okay StreetCowboy, I understand what you are saying basically. But this isn't about "can we converse about something, anything ..." we all can, I am sure.

When I went one day to a regular restaurant I visited often, I found out a 20-21 year old waitress had died the night before due to a fluke medical event, that happens from time to time. Not an accident or anything she could be blamed for. I was appalled to hear everyone talking about her, like she was some shit on their shoe, because now that she had DIED at a young age, everyone decided, she DESERVED to die, due to her karma, therefore she must be a bad person, and deserved now, everyone's scorn!

I was seriously distressed by this. On the other hand, when somebody gets a new car/motorbike, has a blessing ceremony, gets crazily drunk to celebrate, drives with no lights and no helmet or seatbelt/aribags, and then crashes and dies on the way home, and I SAY, it was really stupid to let him drive so drunk and suggest this might be a lesson for others, people look like they will faint in shock at my analysis! They can't believe it, anymore than I believe their story, that a bad ghost caused the accident.

I could give you a list of 100s of events, like this, in my anecdotal life here in Thailand. These are the times one decides that we have nothing in common with Thais, in general, for the most part, not ALL, etc.

This is the part of life that "theblether" is missing. I could also list 1000 things he is missing because he hasn't tried to accomplish certain things here, in his part-time tourist life. And he probably THINKS he is getting along so well with everyone here, because THAI people make you feel that way, by telling lies, and agreeing with everything you say ..at least at his point here. I would suggest, as a test of course, for him to open a business here, get married, have kids, build a house, invest money with his new friends, and see what differences come up, if any??

......and join the sea of misery that far too many people here have entrapped themselves in?

You must be joking.

it's easier to stay back and bash those who try hard to make a difference here.

[ABCer]

Can I make a request please for an appreciation of the fact that we are not in the USA?

And by that you mean...

I'm sitting on the verandah of the home we built in Northern Thailand from Teak and Siam Rosewood with a Thai farmer having a beer, while my wife cooks Tom Yum Gai and her family (extended and big) are talking. About what, I don't know. But they seem very happy.

BTW. There's an old farmer walking by with his buffalo and the small bell round the buffalo's neck is ringing quietly.

Nothing more, nothing less.

You are a poet, SinglePot.

I like poetry.

I also know places where they shoot poets for being 'politically incorrect'.

Enjoy your blissful life, don't waste a moment on these arguments, they lead nowhere...

[benalibina]

@Kitsune.

Make first a difference for yourself, the rest will follow. Meant positive !!

Whilst writing this, it for sure applies for myself as well.

SOME PEOPLE TRULY CARE about making a better world.

To understand big, 1 first has to comprehend small, normally. In thailand it is the other way around.

[TexasRanger]

I apply the same conversational rules here as I do overseas. Start nice with everyone, you soon get a feel for who is worth talking to and who isn't. No need to be rude, I nod my head and smile to people I have no desire to talk to and enjoy chatting to those I get on with. Sadly life doesn't have an ignore button like thaivisa.

[SinglePot]

Anyway. I spoke to Yingluck last night and she said Yes, it is a conspiracy. We are trying to make a difference by restoring this sea of misery. (Satire not criticism of Thai.)

I wonder how the conversation between Xi Jinping and Mr Obama went. Nothing in common there apart from money.

[ABCer]

Your comment, the blether,says many things. Probably without you realizing it !

I know what I said, it's no shock to many members here, they know I have stated I will never live in Thailand full time before. I see no reason to, I can be here when it suits me, gone when it doesn't.

There are tens of thousands of us in this category, if not even hundreds of thousands. Thailand has deliberately made it difficult for foreigners to establish what would be regarded as normal in many other countries. The right to own your home, the right to residency with your family, the right to own your own business.

I look at these bare facts and deduce that while Thailand is a wonderful holiday location, it's an atrocious place to put all your eggs. I for one will never do it, there are countless others that wish they never did.

It's as simple as that.

Hi, theblether, we've met here before.

I think I understand perfectly your position. It must be right for you.

My position is opposite to yours. Hope it will continue to be right for me.

This does not mean we should be at odds regarding OP statement.

I personally find it to be 99% correct. Many people here will agree with this.

Those who do not fall into three major groups: those who object on the grounds of it being "racist"; those who have wonderful friends discussing 'Life, Universe and Everything' at the End of Galaxy after 3-4 beers and 'others'.

The first group takes the issue fiercely personally but without any basis. There is nothing racist in the OP statement.

The second group is more interesting: a) there are Thais who can discuss wide world cultural issues (remember this 1% above?). I am lucky to have some neighbors with whom we touched on French Revolution, world class Literature from many countries, Iraq-Am war, Terrorism across the world, Thai culture and lack of it, Communism, Capitalism, etc. I didn't point with my feet. He didn't get offended by any subject or my views on it. His English is impeccable. His job is ... never mind.

some of the expats from this group wouldn't be able to join discussions with above described neighbor...enough said here (please, don't kick me in the head, - no offence meant).

c) 'others' are not from a) or and they are here for entertainment, pouring oil on the fire, egging people on, getting personal, abusive, etc. - venting their boredom, aggression or frustration.

Having said this, we do, however, have common points: Thailand's attitude to us. Thailand being a nice place. Most of us do Care! Which brings about discussions such as this and gives those 'others' opportunity to indulge.

Now, the difference in our positions towards expat life can be explained by differences in our positions in our country of origin, our finances, our age, our life experiences, reasons we are here, etc. Note that with exception of origins all other factors can and will change.

Ooops! Almost forgot! The other 99% I usually do not talk to. A nod, a 'Hello' and a meaningless Thai smile do the trick... Not that I care about it...

[ABCer]

Anyway. I spoke to Yingluck last night and she said Yes, it is a conspiracy. We are trying to make a difference by restoring this sea of misery. (Satire not criticism of Thai.)

I wonder how the conversation between Xi Jinping and Mr Obama went. Nothing in common there apart from money.

Be careful! Next thing you know might be talking to God! ... and wearing a shirt with sleeves too long

[theblether]

There's nothing racist in the OP statement, the racism has come from others, who have written off an entire nation. I find that surreal as I know plenty of Thais who are capable of independent thought.

I had a cracking day out with one of these people yesterday, we talk about everything. I asked her directly about this issue, and she replied.........

" just because we don't talk about these things doesn't mean we don't know about them, we're not stupid we can see the news like everyone else. "

She went further........

" Thais will pretend to ignore things until they come to they're own backyard. You Westerners want involved in everything, and look at the mess you leave everywhere ".

Fair point I thought......

" My ex had an opinion on everything in Thailand, we used to laugh at how wrong he was, but he was a Westerner, if someone disagreed he would just talk louder and still not listen "

I know a few people like that..........

" We know what's going on, we just don't want to talk to Westerners about it, too many people think they know everything when really, they know nothing, they should learn to keep quiet and mind their own business "

.........................................................................................................................

Naturally that wouldn't suit the massive contingent of pseudo politicians on Thaivisa.

Anyway ABCer...............I don't actually like being as direct as I was on that post, on that subject. In as much as I believe my points to be broadly true, I know too many people who have established excellent lifestyles and families here while accepting the system is weighted against them.

What I can't be bothered with is the " you don't know what it's like " brigade. I choose to never know what it's like, I want to enjoy life.

.

Edited June 11, 2013 by theblether

[Tomtomtom69]

Most Thai men like Football and Beer so they are good subjects. My Brother-in- Law likes talking about Chickens and his Yellow Bus and my Neighbour likes talking about when he worked in the Middle East. Never really had a problem in this way.

Kind of, but relatively few Thai people in general (including men) are into sports, period. I don't think you'll find more than a handful of really fanatical football supporters with whom you could talk football all day with. At most you'll spend five minutes talking about football before getting back to the same topics that all Thais talk about.

[Neeranam]

I talk about things I used to talk about in Scotland, although it took me a few years because of the communication.

This morning for example at work I talked about the weather, the similarities between Stoic philosophers and Buddhists, whether or not there will be the equivalent of the BNP in Thailand once ASEAN comes, and the strength of the Thai baht.

To say Thais are boring and have nothing to talk about is a very ignorant, arrogant, racist insult.

Learn to speak the language fluently then comment.

[Tomtomtom69]

This thread has become very childish. People are different all over the world. Historically Thailand has not taught critical thinking, therefore the *general ability' of the populace is significantly lower than countries that have been actively teaching it in schools for the last 25 years. (Not true of my school in England 30-35 years ago BTW). Some Thai people are stupid, some are clever the same as anywhere else. Some people are never taught critical thinking as a concept and develop the skill anyway, wherever they're from., some you could beat with a critical thinking stick and they still wouldn't get it. (For the record in the last 5 years (in my personal experience) the Thai education system has really woken up to the idea and are pushing it hard).

Meanwhile I talk to my Thai friends about whatever crap we fancy- but I have to admit that we rarely touch on philosophy.

Thai people are generally not deep critical thinkers, except for a select few academics and others of the social elite, many of whom have lived abroad (or continue to live abroad and just visit Thailand from time to time). The only places you'll meet these people are at networking events and other hi-so social events. Thai people are also not very inquisitive and will rarely talk to strangers on the street, unless they need to ask for directions (although I have never seen a Thai ask a foreigner for directions in Thailand; in China foreigners are often asked by Chinese for directions, but never in Thailand). This is contrast to Myanmar and India where you'll find intelligent people chatting you up on the streets, inviting you for some tea or a coffee, etc. and talking to you about politics, international relations, the state of economic development in their country, cricket (in India) or all sorts of things, which would never happen in Thailand. Indeed, any well-dressed Thai person that chats you up on the street usually has sinister intentions (like taking you to a gem store to rip you off).

My experience has been that most rural Thais, as well as urban dwellers who fit the description of "blue collar" are, as can be expected, not going to be very worldly citizens, nor do they lead complicated lives where they can talk about all sorts of topics. You just have to adjust your expectations accordingly. They can be very nice people but just stick to the weather, food, family life and don't go too far off in divergent directions with your conversations.

Some of my Thai friends, although they are definitely white collar (but just your average lower middle class) there are a few things to talk about, especially since they've been abroad before and travel regularly around Thailand and occasionally on low budget tours to Singapore, Hong Kong etc. but I've noticed an annoying tendency for them to talk about the same things over and over again as if everytime we meet, it's another case of deja vu. It's like we're talking about India and then one of my friends switches the topic over to the same boring: "oh, you must have heard a lot of Thais talking about you behind your back, them thinking you can't understand Thai" (I am a fluent Thai speaker BTW). I have heard them repeat this statement about 20 times to me in the last year alone. Do they have a super short term memory or something? It gets a bit boring constantly talking about the same things, which if we're on the topic, I don't think is even true (I don't think most people I walk past give a crap about who walks past them, what they look like or where they're from, but in the minds of my friends apparently everyone thinks the same as them).

Strangely enough, my friends I have described above are in turn friends with a member of the upper middle class, a classy lady who recently married a doctor and whose family emigrated to Vancouver, Canada some years back. She decided initially to go, only to return with her mother to Thailand (now her dad remains with her younger brother, who is autistic). Despite this, she is critical of many things in Thailand that your ordinary, everyday Thai would never talk about. It makes for some interesting, intellectual conversations with her.

Similarly another friend, probably also lower middle class just like the first friend I have described, is equally worldly although her experiences are very different to the lady who has part of her family living in Canada. This girl has spent time in Bangalore, India (she studied English there), where she also met her first boyfriend. Since returning to Thailand, she has traveled to Malaysia many times where her boyfriend lives. Not exactly sure if they are still together but long story short, this girl has a lot to talk about and can be quite critical of her government and it's failures, which I am glad to talk to her about.

You just have to hang around the types of people with whom you can best relate to. How you are going to do that, depends on you, but without going back to re-read the OP's post, I am pretty sure he didn't state which part of Thailand he lives in. This makes a big difference. No matter what, you are not going to find a large, worldly, intellectual community based in rural Isarn, the north or indeed any other rural part of the country. People there are content with their lives, living day-to-day with their spiritual and religious beliefs to explain much of the unexplained. Only in Bangkok, parts of the Eastern Seaboard and perhaps Phuket/Chiang Mai will you find these middle to upper class intellectuals or other worldly citizens.

[Jasun]

There are five universal truths relating to interaction with other humans: to feel respected; to be asked rather than told; to have option over threats; a desire to know why; and a desire for a second chance. Weave any of those themes into a discussion concerning anything from the weather to fried rice, and you'll be having a meaningful conversation with anyone in the world.

Edited June 11, 2013 by Jasun

[manarak]

When I (former US lawyer) sit with my Thai friends (two or more Thai lawyers), we usually talk about passing girls legs.

A few Thai female uni students (usually accountancy) come and sit with us, then we all talk about short-time hotels and balancing their budgets.

Sometimes they help me with my Thai writing, and I help them with English speaking.

All the guys are in their 50s, all the girls are in their 20s.

It may not be rocket science, art or politics, but it does seem we all have interests in common, the girls have legs and we like to look at them.

Jeez, just thought of a problem, we are all Thais!

Are there any foreign males age 50+ in CM that share our interests (girls legs)?

You would be welcome to join our discussion group (bring your own booze).

LOL

I'd like to join you, but although I share your interests and preoccupations, I am too young and live in Pattaya :-(

[David48]

<snip>

I had a cracking day out with one of these people yesterday, we talk about everything. I asked her directly about this issue, and she replied.........

...

" My ex had an opinion on everything in Thailand, we used to laugh at how wrong he was, but he was a Westerner, if someone disagreed he would just talk louder and still not listen "

I know a few people like that..........

My bolding above.

Agreeing with you ... I think we all know someone like that.

.

Edited June 11, 2013 by metisdead
By altering the quoted post by using bold is in violation of forum rule 30.

[morrobay]

Well the girls speak a little English - Who else do you want to talk to ?