How to find a family oriented thai wife? Suggestions?

[SinglePot]

Well, I'm a family-oriented girl with master degree, but maybe I'm too old for you as I'm just 30 years old LOL

?

Or to put it another way, where did you spring from?

[JJttttt1]

Well, I'm a family-oriented girl with master degree, but maybe I'm too old for you as I'm just 30 years old LOL

Who said I am looking for a girl with a Master Degree? I never mentioned this. Please read carefully

I wouldn't trust anyone's "common sense" in this case. You mean intuition? Getting to "really know" someone over a few months?

Even years later an absolutely perfectly genuinely loving wife can turn into a selfish heartless schemer using every available weapon to grab every penny she can. Not a Thai thing either, any culture. Also not necessarily due to deception from the beginning but people do change, "love" disappears, just changing circumstances can take their toll, often the husband due a fair share of the blame whatever. Bottom line is I don't think you "really know" anyone in this world, most people just think they do because the relationship hasn't yet been put to a real whole-world-turning-upside-down test.

Problem is when you throw the Pattaya mentality into the mix it increases the odds it's actually a deliberate long con deception from the beginning, and people (not least TGs) really know how to generate an authentic appearance of sincerity, coupled with giving you everything you ever wanted in a partner and some things you hadn't even thought of.

So my approach is first to greatly reduce the odds of this happening, and secondly to make sure it simply isn't possible to lose your financial security that way.

Starting with a partner with very little worldly experience and from a poor background so that she (and her family) have got much more realistic expectations. You're improving her life, chances for real financial security by many degrees of magnitute, so that even if she decides to leave at some point her life is much better than if she's stayed on the rice farm and married her grade school sweetheart.

But that's me.

When I said "common sense" I meant try to look objectively on girl's behavior, most of money-chasers show themselves quite easily. But not all of them, somebody has enough patience to play a long game.

Completely agree with you, you can do whatever you can to choose a right one, and keep conditions of her life to promote her to behave decent. And there is still no guarantee, indeed. And keep your finances as secure as possible.

I think a large part of your addiction is surely in talking about your lifestyle which I find quite disgusting and very narcissistic ..in fact narcissism may be your real problem, but call it sex addiction if you like.

There is no surprise to read such a feedback from you. "Female solidarity" So predictable.

Edited June 19, 2013 by JJttttt1

[SinglePot]

More than a hint of trolling in this post I would suggest.

Who is going to give the OP what he's asking for?

Nice Isan girl deserves better.

[boosta]

Amy, Excellent perceptive feedback, in some cases very much fair enough and worth taking on board, thanks for taking the time and trouble. I might suggest in turn you try to get away from the idea - that many on this topic see fixed on - that one side has to be the victim and the other an abuser or exploiter. There are situations where self-aware adults make conscious choices that perhaps may not reflect your own values or preference, but are still perfectly valid within their own context and mutually beneficial rather than requiring a winner and loser. We all have a limited view of the world and make do to find and give happiness as we can.

One nit pick though, I never saw anything about these past incarnations claiming UK was home.

[boosta]

There is no surprise to read such a feedback from you. Because of one simple reason - you are a woman. No woman would like a man who does what is good for him, but not for the opposite side (lady). So predictable.

-

Although I certainly agree from a practical POV with much of what you just posted, I do find this misogynistic and would like to make clear I don't agree.

I know many women that have more enlightened attitudes, sex-positive feminists, polyamory and sex worker activists, not all have the anti-male assumptions of old-school "patriarchy" oriented feminism.

We are all people, no matter what sides of what lines people might like to draw, have a lot more in common with each other than anything that could be interpreted as dividing us, and all have a lot more to gain by working at growing together as a species in increasing tolerance, wisdom and compassion towards each other.

[amykat]

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There is no surprise to read such a feedback from you. Because of one simple reason - you are a woman. No woman would like a man who does what is good for him, but not for the opposite side (lady). So predictable.

Really?? No surprise, just because I am female?? Are you therefore admitting, that you aren't really offering a girl/woman much/anything?

We are also humans in case you didn't realize. Why don't I just give you a few kids, and you quit your job, and take care of them, clean my house, wash my clothes, cook our meals (well, if you can do those things, maybe those will be difficult for you.) And yes, IF you are really good looking, I will give your family a sin-sot (but only the kind they give back, which reminds me, WHY do some people say they paid sin-sot, IF it was given back?) Not the same as really paying in my opinion ...oh, right, I am female, so I probably can't understand, just like farangs can't understand Thais.

Since this lifestyle is so appealing to you, or to your potential mate, I think you might like this lifestyle as well, so I offer it to you??

I thought you would be back home in NY by now ..even though last time you said UK.

Anyway, the OP really should know who he is taking advice from, and look back at your other TV names, and really OP ...you shouldn't listen to this guy and it is scary that you find yourself relating to him. I can see some similar feelings between the two of you, but I hope for your sake (the OP's) you are not like Boosta.

Wow! I didn't see such a ridiculous impudent for a long time.

Wow, what a choice of words for you! Do you know what impudent means? I think you do, and this shows a lot about you. "Impudent: Not showing DUE respect for another person. Characterized by offensive boldness, insolent, or impertinet."

Do you think because I am female, I cannot talk this way ...or it automatically is considered this way, because a female said it??

You, OP, need to do some research about the poster I spoke about. I forget all his various names, but people here have mentioned them and they were correct.

[SinglePot]

On the contrary, I was specifically talking about this particular context, and to be honest even within this context the worst Thailand has to offer is better than anything in farangland.

"A bad day fishing's better than a good day at work."

I could never actually live out there or become part of the community permanently, it's just where to find the good girls before they've been spoiled by modern life, particularly the parts of it that dominate places like Pattaya.

Let me give you boosta and JJtt some advice.

The same piece of advice.

Are you listening?

Girls from Isan don't like losers.

[amykat]

Amy, Excellent perceptive feedback, in some cases very much fair enough and worth taking on board, thanks for taking the time and trouble. I might suggest in turn you try to get away from the idea - that many on this topic see fixed on - that one side has to be the victim and the other an abuser or exploiter. There are situations where self-aware adults make conscious choices that perhaps may not reflect your own values or preference, but are still perfectly valid within their own context and mutually beneficial rather than requiring a winner and loser. We all have a limited view of the world and make do to find and give happiness as we can.

One nit pick though, I never saw anything about these past incarnations claiming UK was home.

Dear Boosta,

While I do really enjoy some of your posts, as you do really know Thailand well and have good info to share with people, but I am not so happy with your lifestyle, yes, it bothers me. I do NOT think, in your case, as you have explained numerous times on this forum, that there is NOT a victim vs an exploiter. You may or may not be an abuser, depends on that definition and what exactly you do, and that I don't know. But EXPLOITER !!!! Come F#&king ON ...you are the very definition of an exploiter!!!

I would like to say this 50 different ways, but think I would bore myself and the other readers! If you can't even admit that, than there is no hope for you whatsoever!! I really was hoping that you were going to make some changes, and go on to a better life, and I even defended you on this forum (although I didn't yet know who you were.) And YES, you did try to pretend you were from the UK in your last bullshit name here, although you tried to sometimes be vague about it all, hence "the legal jurisdiction of my mother" to talk about your potential wife liabilities, and other things. We are not all brain dead you know! Even us lowly females!

[SinglePot]

You are getting too wrapped up in this debate amykat,

Khmer girl would rip their credit cards and leave them for dead.

[JJttttt1]

There is no surprise to read such a feedback from you. Because of one simple reason - you are a woman. No woman would like a man who does what is good for him, but not for the opposite side (lady). So predictable.

Really?? No surprise, just because I am female?? Are you therefore admitting, that you aren't really offering a girl/woman much/anything?

We are also humans in case you didn't realize. Why don't I just give you a few kids, and you quit your job, and take care of them, clean my house, wash my clothes, cook our meals (well, if you can do those things, maybe those will be difficult for you.) And yes, IF you are really good looking, I will give your family a sin-sot (but only the kind they give back, which reminds me, WHY do some people say they paid sin-sot, IF it was given back?) Not the same as really paying in my opinion ...oh, right, I am female, so I probably can't understand, just like farangs can't understand Thais.

Since this lifestyle is so appealing to you, or to your potential mate, I think you might like this lifestyle as well, so I offer it to you??

I would say its OK, if I would agree for this type of relationship. But the situation is I am looking for a lady who would like voluntarily devote herself to children and family.

If you are looking for a man, who would like to devote himself to growing kinds and take care of the family - I would say good luck, I am not your candidate. Why it's so hard to understand?

Everybody choose what they want, on the base of mutual agreement.

.

Wow! I didn't see such a ridiculous impudent for a long time.

Wow, what a choice of words for you! Do you know what impudent means? I think you do, and this shows a lot about you. "Impudent: Not showing DUE respect for another person. Characterized by offensive boldness, insolent, or impertinet."

Do you think because I am female, I cannot talk this way ...or it automatically is considered this way, because a female said it??

You, OP, need to do some research about the poster I spoke about. I forget all his various names, but people here have mentioned them and they were correct.

Firstly I red it "I thought you SHOULD be back home in NY by now" That's why I called it impudent. When I realized my mistake I erased the comment immediately, but not enough fast for you not to read it.

Although I certainly agree from a practical POV with much of what you just posted, I do find this misogynistic and would like to make clear I don't agree.

Thank you for sharing your opinion. But I still think that the root of the comment of AmykatNow is in her gender, and judging by her next answer I was right. Why it's so hard for you to recognize that much of any person's opinions come from his (her) gender? There is nothing wrong with that!

By the way, now I know one more English word - "misogynistic". May be I didn't read enough about feminism

[MiG16]

Discussions have gone rather far off topic, and to be honest I dont see anyone has been able to, nor likely to be able to answer the OP question.

You've been given some ideas, some leads. Hope they are of use.

Given the negative turn of comments and their flaming nature I'm now closing this thread.