How to say: You want it both ways/play both ends against the middle

[mokwit]

Suspect this will be an idiom rather than a transliteration.

[mokwit]

As I suspect it is an idiom, and to give context - basically a girlfriend who wants me to 'take care' like we are married, but if I ask for likewise reciprocation it's: "You are not my husband/we are not married"..

[mokwit]

Also it seems what is sauce for the Gander is not sauce for the Goose ("not same")

[justben]

I suggest you find a new one because this is the beginning of the end if you do not give in. Personal experience. Wouldn't even bother with finding the equivalent Thai idiom because saying something like this falls on deaf ears. Raised completely selfish is not something you can change by speaking clearly. Hope you'll be ok

[justben]

This may work :

ได้คืบจะเอาศอก ได้ศอกจะเอาวา
daiF kheuupF jaL aoM saawkL daiF saawkL jaL aoM waaM
"Give him an inch, and he’ll take a yard."

[justben]

then you may continue with แล้วในทางกลับกันตัวเองชอบว่าเราแค่เป็นแฟนกันเฉยๆ ไม่ได้แต่งงานกัน เห๊ย! ไรเนี่ย!!

[justben]

อย่าจับปลาสองมือ
yaaL japL bplaaM saawngR meuuM
"You can’t have your cake and eat it, too."

[mokwit]

I suggest you find a new one because this is the beginning of the end if you do not give in. Personal experience. Wouldn't even bother with finding the equivalent Thai idiom because saying something like this falls on deaf ears. Raised completely selfish is not something you can change by speaking clearly. Hope you'll be ok

Thanks justben yaaL japL bplaaM saawngR meuuM hit the spot - Got that Thai woman called on her BS grin.

As for the advice above couldn't agree more except that whoever I replace her with will be the same and I would have thrown away an 8 year investment in training and have to start again. This is the most workable I have had, hence the perseverance in the face of difficulties - live out mistress who does not give a damm about me.

Best advice I was given when i came here 18 years ago was "it's not you its her, and she's not going to change" and "You can spend 3 years trying to work through things but after 3 years you will find that she is the same and you have wasted 3 years of your life". Ironically the more mature you are about relationships the more you are likely to waste time trying to work through things.

Would be grateful if you could translate แล้วในทางกลับกันตัวเองชอบว่าเราแค่เป็นแฟนกันเฉยๆ ไม่ได้แต่งงานกัน เห๊ย! ไรเนี่ย!! so I am sure I have the meaning right - not sure I have.

[justben]

Hehe.

That just translates to what you said: "But on the other hand, you always say I'm just your boyfriend and we're not married or anything. Hey <deleted>!"

[mokwit]

Hehe.

That just translates to what you said: "But on the other hand, you always say I'm just your boyfriend and we're not married or anything. Hey <deleted>!"

I'll find a use for that one

As I said on another thread I have found the best way to get a point across is in Thai via non confrontational SMS. Using the English words you know she understands/uses herself just does not have the same effect