Thai f/friend in Bkk looking for a foreign boyfriend, what to advise her, places to go etc. ?

[transam]

We are the purchaser not the produce.

Sooooooooooooo, in ''your'' life you consider your financial input to a relationship the paramount thing. Yes/No/ ?

No

At the present time (not talking about the past, so not 'my life' which is mostly over now) I keep sex and relationships separate.

In a relationship my financial input will be zero, if you can't pay for yourself, you won't be in a relationship with me.

Drat, I'm back on the streets again.

[seancbk]

If her English is good then she could join Internations (just google internations bangkok)

Lots of social events organised by them where she could meet people.

Good luck to her.

[wwest5829]

Does she want to live abroad or stay in Thailand ?

As my marriage is nearly over, i am interested !

Does she like kids ?

Long time ago she and her best friend visited me in the Netherlands for 3 times for a holiday and meeting friends, managed her own visa with my help, She loves travelling but for sure it depends on the partner if she wants to and can live abroad, when she meets a sincere and stabile person who can give her a secure feeling she might be willing to start a new life abroad. But anyway she is very, very careful and somehow scared to start a new adventure. She is great with young kids yes, she has none of her own.

But as you say your current marriage isn't even over yet perhaps you should ask yourself if it's normal to look further that fast. (supposed you are not a joker) Anyway, she defenitely won't travel abroad to meet someone she'd never met I know her well enough for that, the only chance to meet new people will be in her city Bangkok.

Cheers, take care.

Cannot say about BKK but here in Chiang Mai she could use Chiang Mai Expats, Chiang Mai Friends, Rotary, Toastmasters. Farang teachers can be met through places teaching English. Also, academic circles could be sought out. Many farangs retiring here. I would think there are like organizations in Bangkok. I met my fiancé via the Internet but that can certainly be dicey. Cheers.

[Andre0720]

Just advise her to get ready for fierce competition

Edited July 27, 2013 by Andre0720

[TheSpade]

'Cos most of the male foreigners in Thailand are 'Patpong' material.

If that's where you hang around that's probably all you know but I can assure you that there are a ton of under 30s farang men living doing all manner of things from teaching English to running online business that aren't interested in that sort of thing at all.

They might go to Soi Cowboy once in a blue moon for a laugh but they won't pick up hookers...because they don't need to.

[Globeman]

Tell her at 47 she has no hope in hell ,she offers nothing to most at this age.,Be truthful to her i say and think to yourself why she is really single .And no thai woman is 100% ok never ever, youll be a fool to beleive that quote

What a cruel and mean-spirited thing to say. It wouldn't be the perspective from the high perch of a bar stool by any chance, would it?

"No Thai woman is ever 100%" ?! No person in the world is ever 100% - why confine it to Thai women? What in your experience and the resulting astute observations leads you to that conclusion?

I believe many of us on TV are married to wonderful women, and many of us have been married to them for a long time. I've been with mine for 15 years, and sure, the looks have faded a bit - so have mine. But in her 40s, a woman, like say my wife, has nothing to offer? How about companionship, love, support, someone to make love to a curl up with? As far as I'm concerned, my wife has more to offer me in her 40s than she did in her 20s.

This woman could be single because there are too many jerk*ff males who think she has nothing to offer (especially when they can hire some young woman to pretend to like them for a few hours) and because she is not in the social situations that enable it. If she is as the OP described her, I'm sure there are plenty of guys in her age range who'd be pleased to be with her, if they just met under the right circumstances.

[4evermaat]

I concur with a previous post about how men and women think differently about relatioships: men tend to make looks a dealbreaker and women are more after financial security or stability/direction in the household.

To answer the OP, she needs to position herself in places where she is LIKELY [> 50% chance] of meeting a foreigner for companionship. Targeted dating/introduction sites, facebook, etc. are ok to get started... but the same low barrier to entry and ease of setup with little filtering done by admin also makes it a target for scammers and those not serious about companionship. So having the profile at a couple of quality companionship sites arent a bad idea.

But she would need to position herself in places where foreigners frequent AND are likely to be targeting companionship. As ironic as this sounds, she would want to be in expat-rich places. It can be the larger places like patong/kata/chalong/pattaya/bangkok/chang mai. Or smaller places like chumphon. And in terms of companionship-likely places: professional massage shops, travel agencies, restaurants/bars (more restaurant than bar), hotel/guesthouse/shophouses nearby are good examples. I see plenty of foreign men with older (and attractive) thai wife. It's kind of difficult, on avg, to find a facially ugly or obese thai woman for companionship.

She can either frequent clubs, shopping malls, etc or work/hang out in the above listed likely places. In places like patong, there are much more shophouse / club options for shy-er women looking for longer term companionship. The key is to have time to explore options; she can explore several options without rushing and see what she comes up with. You cannot rely solely on luck or bumping into someone. There must be positive expectancy with whatever venue she chooses. I know a couple of these places near the beach in chumphon.

Also, does she know any female friends that have foreign boyfriends/husbands? I would value personal referals here higher than those of anonymous leads.

Reading some of the comments so far I understand why Don Miguel Ruiz mentioned that love is usually the biggest demon of the human experience. How in the world did we make companionship (seemingly so basic to life) so difficult and confusing? You have to evaluate your likely options and TAKE THE RISK.

"...the 2nd best time to plant a tree is today." Sent from ThaiVisa app (Galaxy Note 2).

[EBlair48]

Suggest she peruse the Embassy death rolls for vulnerable older farang.widowers.

Go to a church, I know but,.....lots of people who really are not religious go to church for social aspects

[KuhnPaen]

Uh oh, not the single 47 year old Thai woman.

If she was 47, had 3 kids and was divorced--she would be "normal"

Problem is--many men think that a woman that age who has never been married usually has something wrong with her.

Why exactly does she want a foreign BF as opposed to a Thai?

FYI...in China, you are considered "leftover women" if you haven't been married by the age of 30. 47 is kind of on the high end for a woman--especially in a country like LOS where many of the men go there looking for girls half their age. So, if she doesn't mind dating an 80+ year old guy, she might be in luck.

[AnotherOneAmerican]

'Cos most of the male foreigners in Thailand are 'Patpong' material.

If that's where you hang around that's probably all you know but I can assure you that there are a ton of under 30s farang men living doing all manner of things from teaching English to running online business that aren't interested in that sort of thing at all.

I'm thinking the OPs 47YO Thai woman was looking for a little more than a pauper with no prospects.

[dcsw53]

She should join Internations. Farangs by the shed load

[AnotherOneAmerican]

Tell her at 47 she has no hope in hell ,she offers nothing to most at this age.,Be truthful to her i say and think to yourself why she is really single .And no thai woman is 100% ok never ever, youll be a fool to beleive that quote

I believe many of us on TV are married to wonderful women, and many of us have been married to them for a long time. I've been with mine for 15 years, and sure, the looks have faded a bit - so have mine. But in her 40s, a woman, like say my wife, has nothing to offer? How about companionship, love, support, someone to make love to a curl up with? As far as I'm concerned, my wife has more to offer me in her 40s than she did in her 20s.

If your wife was in the 40s when you met her, she wouldn't be your wife.

She was in her 20s when you met, exactly the same as me and my pals look for.

This topic isn't about dumping a current wife, it's about finding one from scratch, and nobody in their right mind is looking for a 47YO woman in Thailand.

Edited July 27, 2013 by AnotherOneAmerican

[kevvy]

Tell her at 47 she has no hope in hell ,she offers nothing to most at this age.,Be truthful to her i say and think to yourself why she is really single .And no thai woman is 100% ok never ever, youll be a fool to beleive that quote

What has she got to offer? I'm betting nothing.

Why would a guy want her when she brings nothing to the relationship? Plenty of 25YOs are offering the same.

Back in the west I can get a 47YO with a house, car and money .......... If I needed that.

Perhaps your thought on life revolves around cash and not living with someone to love and be a a good soul mate. We are all different and want different things from a partner. If money is your key to a relationship then I feel sorry for you.

well said , couldn't agree with you more trans

[kevvy]

Tell her at 47 she has no hope in hell ,she offers nothing to most at this age.,Be truthful to her i say and think to yourself why she is really single .And no thai woman is 100% ok never ever, youll be a fool to beleive that quote

I believe many of us on TV are married to wonderful women, and many of us have been married to them for a long time. I've been with mine for 15 years, and sure, the looks have faded a bit - so have mine. But in her 40s, a woman, like say my wife, has nothing to offer? How about companionship, love, support, someone to make love to a curl up with? As far as I'm concerned, my wife has more to offer me in her 40s than she did in her 20s.

If your wife was in the 40s when you met her, she wouldn't be your wife.

She was in her 20s when you met, exactly the same as me and my pals look for.

This topic isn't about dumping a current wife, it's about finding one from scratch, and nobody in their right mind is looking for a 47YO woman in Thailand.

well there must be alot of farang"s not in their right mind .

[GreenSnapper]

'Cos most of the male foreigners in Thailand are 'Patpong' material.

If that's where you hang around that's probably all you know but I can assure you that there are a ton of under 30s farang men living doing all manner of things from teaching English to running online business that aren't interested in that sort of thing at all.

I'm thinking the OPs 47YO Thai woman was looking for a little more than a pauper with no prospects.

And even the pitiest pauper has better options than a 47 yo woman.

The sexual market works like any other market: you don't buy a 20 yo Toyota when you get a new BMW for the same money.

[transam]

'Cos most of the male foreigners in Thailand are 'Patpong' material.

If that's where you hang around that's probably all you know but I can assure you that there are a ton of under 30s farang men living doing all manner of things from teaching English to running online business that aren't interested in that sort of thing at all.

I'm thinking the OPs 47YO Thai woman was looking for a little more than a pauper with no prospects.

And even the pitiest pauper has better options than a 47 yo woman.

The sexual market works like any other market: you don't buy a 20 yo Toyota when you get a new BMW for the same money.

Gawd, there are some sad guys out there. Hey, post a picture of yourself here to show us all what the worlds ''young'' female populous are missing.

[Nana Cowboy]

If your wife was in the 40s when you met her, she wouldn't be your wife.

She was in her 20s when you met, exactly the same as me and my pals look for.

This topic isn't about dumping a current wife, it's about finding one from scratch, and nobody in their right mind is looking for a 47YO woman in Thailand.

well there must be alot of farang"s not in their right mind .

Please excuse me writing in Kevvys quote, the forum is SNAFU.

I'm thinking a foreigner marrying a 47+ Thai woman in Thailand must be fairly rare.

Did you do that Kevvy? Anyone else in this thread do that?

maybe a few percent do but I've never met any

[Nana Cowboy]

And even the pitiest pauper has better options than a 47 yo woman.

The sexual market works like any other market: you don't buy a 20 yo Toyota when you get a new BMW for the same money.

Gawd, there are some sad guys out there. Hey, post a picture of yourself here to show us all what the worlds ''young'' female populous are missing.

it doesn't matter what he or anyone else looks like. Point is that very few men are looking for a Thai women as described in the OP. It's needle in a haystack stuff. There is too much supply out there. It's hard enough for 20s and 30s girls in Thailand to find a farang but a woman pushing 50 is going to have a rough go at it. Nothing personal just the facts. Perhaps if you're available then you might have a go with her

Edited July 27, 2013 by Nana Cowboy

[transam]

And even the pitiest pauper has better options than a 47 yo woman.

The sexual market works like any other market: you don't buy a 20 yo Toyota when you get a new BMW for the same money.

Gawd, there are some sad guys out there. Hey, post a picture of yourself here to show us all what the worlds ''young'' female populous are missing.

it doesn't matter what he or anyone else looks like. Point is that very few men are looking for a Thai women as described in the OP. It's needle in a haystack stuff. There is too much supply out there. It's hard enough for 20s and 30s girls in Thailand to find a farang but a woman pushing 50 is going to have a rough go at it. Nothing personal just the facts. Perhaps if you're available then you might have a go with her

If I was I might. Been there, done stuff, not interested in young fluff any more, I've done it and now look at stuff very differently. BUT, for guys here to make ladies in their 40's seem as something to be spat on is ludicrous.

[farang000999]

why does this woman want to meet a farang?

[banned1000]

And even the pitiest pauper has better options than a 47 yo woman.

The sexual market works like any other market: you don't buy a 20 yo Toyota when you get a new BMW for the same money.

Gawd, there are some sad guys out there. Hey, post a picture of yourself here to show us all what the worlds ''young'' female populous are missing.

it doesn't matter what he or anyone else looks like. Point is that very few men are looking for a Thai women as described in the OP. It's needle in a haystack stuff. There is too much supply out there. It's hard enough for 20s and 30s girls in Thailand to find a farang but a woman pushing 50 is going to have a rough go at it. Nothing personal just the facts. Perhaps if you're available then you might have a go with her

If I was I might. Been there, done stuff, not interested in young fluff any more, I've done it and now look at stuff very differently. BUT, for guys here to make ladies in their 40's seem as something to be spat on is ludicrous.

yeah i was walking down a random street the other day and was accosted by a large hoard of "20s and 30s girls" looking to "find a farang." get a grip my son you're losing it.

[transam]

@1000timesbanned,

Don't you worry,I lost it about 40 years ago, been there, done it and my brain finally returned to my head.

Yours will too over time. Your dark shades (sun glasses) are a bit dated now you know.

[jbrain]

Does she want to live abroad or stay in Thailand ?

As my marriage is nearly over, i am interested !

Does she like kids ?

Long time ago she and her best friend visited me in the Netherlands for 3 times for a holiday and meeting friends, managed her own visa with my help, She loves travelling but for sure it depends on the partner if she wants to and can live abroad, when she meets a sincere and stabile person who can give her a secure feeling she might be willing to start a new life abroad. But anyway she is very, very careful and somehow scared to start a new adventure. She is great with young kids yes, she has none of her own.

But as you say your current marriage isn't even over yet perhaps you should ask yourself if it's normal to look further that fast. (supposed you are not a joker) Anyway, she defenitely won't travel abroad to meet someone she'd never met I know her well enough for that, the only chance to meet new people will be in her city Bangkok.

Cheers, take care.

Thanks for the reply. Did not expect to receive 1. Especially not from a fellow ...... man.

The time that i joined TV a couple of months ago have made me realize a couple of things about all the mistakes i have made in my life. Future planning is 1 of them. I try to correct that and reading your OP, i thought CHANCE OF A LIFETIME !!! The profile of your friend is what i am looking for in a woman so that is why i respond again for a short explanation. In all honesty my intentions are pure and sincere.

You ever considered an advertisement for a new wife at some of those supermarket ad boards ?

They are quite delivering as I sold a motorbike in no time.

[ericthai]

Are you serious? If you think that woman at 47 is washed up, then obviously you are using your peer group as a reference point. There are plenty of women who are quite desirable even when they are older. Maybe you have never met them, but I have come in contact with plenty of independent business ladies and scientists that are still quite desirable. Many educated and secure males are not attracted to uneducated low class bar trade workers or 7-11 clerks, no matter how beautiful. After awhile, the ignorance and undeveloped social skills cause grief.

While I am sympathic to your cause & I wish both you & her the best of luck, you quite obviously know nothing of Thailand. I'm sure she's a delightful lady, but stacked up against the competition she is probably in the bottom 20%. This is not to say anything derogatory about her, but rather that the competition is fierce. There are many beautiful, honest, intelligent, sweet ladies available, at a decade or two younger than her. All other things being equal, she's up against a tough problem.

I feel very fortunate to have found my wonderful wife in BKK; we are now living in Hawaii after spending the last 3 years in Japan. We have been together for 7 years now & very happy. We have often asked ourselves: How can a "nice" girl in BKK meet a "nice" farang (the 2 quoted words have different meanings. The nice girl is honest, educated, and not a bar girl. The nice guy has good intentions; is not exploitative of the lady and seeks a genuinely fulfilling relationship) It is truly a difficult problem; most nice girls won't go where the farang are, and if she did the nice farang wouldn't be there. I'm oversimplifying, but in general that's how I view the problem.

My wife & I met as penpals. We emailed & chatted online for a year before we met (on a short visit to BKK). Then another year before I moved there for a job. Then another year before we got married. This gave us plenty of time in low-stress settings to really get to know each other.

I think your best hope is to introduce her to someone who doesn't live in Thailand. Someone whom you know is a "nice" guy. Casting about on a website like this is just going to end up breaking her heart, as your only lead so far has been from a married guy. So who do you personally know, of an eligible age, who is seeking a life partner? See if you can make an online introduction.

a few comments, you suggest she don't meet someone on the internet as that is no good, but this is how you met your wife, so that makes no sense to me.

Second, why do you say a good girl is not a bar girl? That is like saying a good man is a man that is not poor. I have worked and lived in Thailand for almost 20 years. I have met my share of bar girls, university and office workers. Does not matter where the girl works and where she is from all depends on the girl. I a have met some "good girls" as you say that worked in bars, not looking for sugar daddy just a nice girl hoping to meet a nice guy. I have also met some girls that have never worked a day in their life and gone to a university and are just a gold digger, only wanting the best not happy with a cheap pair of shoes for 200B, they want the 2000B shoes and if you cant afford them you are out. On the other hand a have met a bar girls that are just great and are happy with a pair of shoes for 200b and really appreciate it. But as you say there are also the girls that work in bars that are only looking for a fool and his money. It's a two way street, all depends on the girl not where they work!!

[USNret]

While I am sympathic to your cause & I wish both you & her the best of luck, you quite obviously know nothing of Thailand. I'm sure she's a delightful lady, but stacked up against the competition she is probably in the bottom 20%. This is not to say anything derogatory about her, but rather that the competition is fierce. There are many beautiful, honest, intelligent, sweet ladies available, at a decade or two younger than her. All other things being equal, she's up against a tough problem.

I feel very fortunate to have found my wonderful wife in BKK; we are now living in Hawaii after spending the last 3 years in Japan. We have been together for 7 years now & very happy. We have often asked ourselves: How can a "nice" girl in BKK meet a "nice" farang (the 2 quoted words have different meanings. The nice girl is honest, educated, and not a bar girl. The nice guy has good intentions; is not exploitative of the lady and seeks a genuinely fulfilling relationship) It is truly a difficult problem; most nice girls won't go where the farang are, and if she did the nice farang wouldn't be there. I'm oversimplifying, but in general that's how I view the problem.

My wife & I met as penpals. We emailed & chatted online for a year before we met (on a short visit to BKK). Then another year before I moved there for a job. Then another year before we got married. This gave us plenty of time in low-stress settings to really get to know each other.

I think your best hope is to introduce her to someone who doesn't live in Thailand. Someone whom you know is a "nice" guy. Casting about on a website like this is just going to end up breaking her heart, as your only lead so far has been from a married guy. So who do you personally know, of an eligible age, who is seeking a life partner? See if you can make an online introduction.

a few comments, you suggest she don't meet someone on the internet as that is no good, but this is how you met your wife, so that makes no sense to me.

Second, why do you say a good girl is not a bar girl? That is like saying a good man is a man that is not poor. I have worked and lived in Thailand for almost 20 years. I have met my share of bar girls, university and office workers. Does not matter where the girl works and where she is from all depends on the girl. I a have met some "good girls" as you say that worked in bars, not looking for sugar daddy just a nice girl hoping to meet a nice guy. I have also met some girls that have never worked a day in their life and gone to a university and are just a gold digger, only wanting the best not happy with a cheap pair of shoes for 200B, they want the 2000B shoes and if you cant afford them you are out. On the other hand a have met a bar girls that are just great and are happy with a pair of shoes for 200b and really appreciate it. But as you say there are also the girls that work in bars that are only looking for a fool and his money. It's a two way street, all depends on the girl not where they work!!

I never said you can't meet someone online. I said you can't meet someone on a website "like this". Operative phrase being "like this." Read the last 5 pages of comments if you need evidence of that premise. In fact, meeting online, for people of all ages, is becoming very common. It's a low-risk, low-threat way to meet someone before an actual F2F meeting. Regrettably, there are young naive girls who can be taken advantage of & often are but the lady in question probably does not fit that demographic. Hopefully, she can figure out the scammers when she sees them & keep them at arm's length.

As far as the relative merits of bargirls & others, read again my disclaimer: "I'm oversimplifying, but in general that's how I view the problem." Of course, there are the legendary "prostitutes with a heart of gold". But more likely, there is the sweet thing who will take you for all your worth once you tie the knot. Read the tales of woe throughout TV and see which outcome is more common. There are also the college-educated ladies with a great career who are just as bad; it all comes down to a question of character. Taking the time to get to know the lady, and her family, is definitely worthwhile. Per the timeline I posted, my wife & I took three years of a gradually escalating relationship which for me was just right.

[chiang mai]

What has she got to offer? I'm betting nothing.

Why would a guy want her when she brings nothing to the relationship? Plenty of 25YOs are offering the same.

Back in the west I can get a 47YO with a house, car and money .......... If I needed that.

Perhaps your thought on life revolves around cash and not living with someone to love and be a a good soul mate. We are all different and want different things from a partner. If money is your key to a relationship then I feel sorry for you.

I did the 'love thing' for over 20 years, got kicked in the teeth (like you) for doing that.

Only a fool keeps repeating the same mistake.

If I need more companionship, I will buy a dog (I already have a cat).

If I need a housekeeper, I will hire one (happily doing it myself at the moment).

If I want sex, it won't be with a 47YO!

You remind me of someone.

You and me both, but he says he isn't.

[pigeonjake]

ive only got one question to the OP,

you say she asked you for help 20yrs ago, or as been asking you since you met her,

then why didnt you help her then?

i was allways told as i was growing up that there is someone for everyone its just a matter of finding them,

not all people come to thailand looking for sex, with some beautiful young thai lady,(it is good though)

some will come not just for sex, but also for companionship in there later lives, thinking they can find a lady like her, so im sure there will be someone for her,

i think some could be right have a look on the internet, she allways have the OP to help her out should she think its a scamer,

jake

[meatboy]

oh yeah ask her how many million the dowry is? ha ha ha

tooooooooooooooooooooooo much she's still a virgin.

[stoli]

Those here who talk about the lady being too old or passed it really are so stupid, I can't believe they wrote it.

It is like they taught their penis how to type.

[benalibina]

Does she want to live abroad or stay in Thailand ?

As my marriage is nearly over, i am interested !

Does she like kids ?

Long time ago she and her best friend visited me in the Netherlands for 3 times for a holiday and meeting friends, managed her own visa with my help, She loves travelling but for sure it depends on the partner if she wants to and can live abroad, when she meets a sincere and stabile person who can give her a secure feeling she might be willing to start a new life abroad. But anyway she is very, very careful and somehow scared to start a new adventure. She is great with young kids yes, she has none of her own.

But as you say your current marriage isn't even over yet perhaps you should ask yourself if it's normal to look further that fast. (supposed you are not a joker) Anyway, she defenitely won't travel abroad to meet someone she'd never met I know her well enough for that, the only chance to meet new people will be in her city Bangkok.

Cheers, take care.

Thanks for the reply. Did not expect to receive 1. Especially not from a fellow ...... man.

The time that i joined TV a couple of months ago have made me realize a couple of things about all the mistakes i have made in my life. Future planning is 1 of them. I try to correct that and reading your OP, i thought CHANCE OF A LIFETIME !!! The profile of your friend is what i am looking for in a woman so that is why i respond again for a short explanation. In all honesty my intentions are pure and sincere.

You ever considered an advertisement for a new wife at some of those supermarket ad boards ?

They are quite delivering as I sold a motorbike in no time.

Opportunity knocked by reading this thread. Done it before, as per your suggestion, at a couple of 7/11's. All the time same responses in thai language. Asked a couple of girls working there what was written. Reply from them; ' maj son jaai farang kee nok '.