My 15-yr-old American son needs activities and friends

[gregjor]

My 15-year-old son moved to Bangkok last month to live with me (his father). He's adjusting slowly but tells me he loves it here. It's a big culture shock -- he's spent his life in Oregon until now.

He's taking high school classes online, supplemented with (secular) homeschooling (I have prior experience with that). He doesn't miss the school experience but he does miss friends and having teen things to do. Back in the US he was involved with sports, mainly American football and basketball. He spends a lot of time playing video games.

We're going to be here for several years so I need to get him involved with kids his own age. Falang, Thai, whatever doesn't matter but since he only speaks English and the ten words of Thai he's picked up we're looking for activities where only speaking English won't be a severe handicap. He does intend to learn Thai but that will take a while.

Are there other parents here who have experience with this? Does anyone know if the international schools let kids who aren't enrolled participate in any of their activities?

Please, no advice about sending him back to the US for a "proper" education. I'm not interested in defending homeschooling or online classes. And telling him to hang out at Nana or Soi Cowboy is not an option. ;-)

Thanks!

[JoeW]

Does he feel like playing tennis?

http://www.spinandslice.com/

Is quite good and the coaches speak some English. Also has a couple of foreign members etc.

[thaicbr]

Maybe contact the Embassy see if they have any clubs they are affiliated with.

Maybe a bit of charity work at Father Joe's Mercy centre.

Sent from my i-mobile i-STYLE Q6

[FritsSikkink]

Send him to an international school and he will make friends there

[Puyai]

Does he like hockey? There is a rink with a team, farrang flyers or something like that. If you can find out where the basketball courts/football pitches are you'll find that in the evenings they'll be some kids having a game. They won't say no to your son joining in. There must be some youth basketball teams in Bkk, find out where they are. Take him to the driving range he might enjoy hitting some balls. Do anything to get him away from that computer!!! I'll get back to you if I can think of anything else..

[Blackandwhite]

You will be very lucky to find any out of school activities in Thailand other than beach stuff and gym sessions. I have never heard of any private school in and country welcoming non students into schools to play sport, the attitude seam to be '' if you cant afford to pay then you never get to play '' to which I agree really. I had looked before for well organised activities and there seams to be nothing or very little - offering services to a charity would give a challenge and offer a way to meet people.

Send him to live I a Thai village for a while or ( not joking ) send him to study as a Monk.

Sitting in front of a PC will not be good for to long. If sitting indoors playing video games is what your son likes to do maybe better he is returned to his home and allowed to continue being a child for a while and finish a suitable education programme.

[gregjor]

Thanks for the replies. Since I posted my question I found a few things. The best was buying a GoPro camera for my son, which not only got him outside exploring but has encouraged him to learn about video editing and posting his videos online. Even better, people stop him on the street to ask about it, and he's finding that many Thai teens speak pretty good English.

A friend who teaches at an international school inquired about my son joining their sports activities. They are forming a basketball team and welcomed my son. My experience in the US with my two older daughters was the same: schools usually welcome homeschoolers because they can't always fill out their teams. My son isn't the only teenager (by a long shot) who spends a lot of time on his computer.

I also discovered the Bangkok Thai-Japan Youth Center in Din Daeng, fairly close to our apartment. Membership is open to anyone, it's very cheap, and they have all kinds of sports and other activities. When we visited the (huge) complex we saw mostly Thais, but the office assured as that they have quite a few farang members.

We have been bowling (lots of teens there) and are planning an afternoon at a driving range next week. Soon we'll be starting Thai classes, I'm looking for a school that has teen-oriented classes.

We're also looking at volunteer opportunities but many of them don't accept teens unless a parent is with them, and that's not always practical for me.

I was hoping to connect with other parents of teens who may be in the same situation. There's plenty to do in Bangkok but teens like to do things together, and that sometimes requires parental prodding because teens can be shy and reluctant to go looking for friends.

[gregjor]

You will be very lucky to find any out of school activities in Thailand other than beach stuff and gym sessions. I have never heard of any private school in and country welcoming non students into schools to play sport, the attitude seam to be '' if you cant afford to pay then you never get to play '' to which I agree really. I had looked before for well organised activities and there seams to be nothing or very little - offering services to a charity would give a challenge and offer a way to meet people.

Send him to live I a Thai village for a while or ( not joking ) send him to study as a Monk.

Sitting in front of a PC will not be good for to long. If sitting indoors playing video games is what your son likes to do maybe better he is returned to his home and allowed to continue being a child for a while and finish a suitable education programme.

Thanks for the advice. My experience with schools welcoming non-students is different. I've homeschooled all three of my kids all or part of the way through high school. As I mentioned in another posting schools, public and private, are frequently open to allowing non-students to participating in some activities, especially sports. We already found a basketball team my son can join at an international school -- the first place I asked. I didn't expect to get anything for free, by the way, but aside from the shorts and shoes there's no charge.

There are many organized activities at the Bangkok Thai-Japan Youth Center, open to anyone and very cheap.

Charities generally don't want teens unless they are accompanied by a parent. All of my kids have volunteered in the US, and I've looked into that here.

Living in a Thai village is a good idea, I'll check into that. Studying as a monk might be interesting but it's not a secular activity.

Suggesting my son may be better off "returned to his home and allowed to continue being a child" and that he "finish a suitable education programme" makes me wonder if you read my original posting (I assume you aren't trying to offend). This is his home. There is no better home in the US for him to return to. And he's not being held here against his will -- he is allowed to make most of his own choices and he chose Thailand. He's 15, not really a child anymore. He'll continue growing up no matter where he is, but I think the experience living in Thailand (or any foreign country) will help him grow. My son is finishing his high school diploma with the full guidance and support of his counselors and teachers back in the US -- they think it's great he has a chance to live in Thailand and don't see any problems with him studying online. Most American high schoolers never have the opportunity to visit, much less live in, a foreign culture. For us that is a big part of him growing up and finishing a suitable education. It's challenging adapting to a new place, an alien culture, and a difficult language, but it's not something to run away from.

Sitting indoors playing video games or staring at computer (or TV) screens is what most teenagers (and many adults) prefer to do. There's not much actual evidence supporting the idea that it's bad, though I prefer he do other things, and that's why I posted here in the first place. Thanks again for the ideas.

[Blackandwhite]

You will be very lucky to find any out of school activities in Thailand other than beach stuff and gym sessions. I have never heard of any private school in and country welcoming non students into schools to play sport, the attitude seam to be '' if you cant afford to pay then you never get to play '' to which I agree really. I had looked before for well organised activities and there seams to be nothing or very little - offering services to a charity would give a challenge and offer a way to meet people.

Send him to live I a Thai village for a while or ( not joking ) send him to study as a Monk.

Sitting in front of a PC will not be good for to long. If sitting indoors playing video games is what your son likes to do maybe better he is returned to his home and allowed to continue being a child for a while and finish a suitable education programme.

Thanks for the advice. My experience with schools welcoming non-students is different. I've homeschooled all three of my kids all or part of the way through high school. As I mentioned in another posting schools, public and private, are frequently open to allowing non-students to participating in some activities, especially sports. We already found a basketball team my son can join at an international school -- the first place I asked. I didn't expect to get anything for free, by the way, but aside from the shorts and shoes there's no charge.

There are many organized activities at the Bangkok Thai-Japan Youth Center, open to anyone and very cheap.

Charities generally don't want teens unless they are accompanied by a parent. All of my kids have volunteered in the US, and I've looked into that here.

Living in a Thai village is a good idea, I'll check into that. Studying as a monk might be interesting but it's not a secular activity.

Suggesting my son may be better off "returned to his home and allowed to continue being a child" and that he "finish a suitable education programme" makes me wonder if you read my original posting (I assume you aren't trying to offend). This is his home. There is no better home in the US for him to return to. And he's not being held here against his will -- he is allowed to make most of his own choices and he chose Thailand. He's 15, not really a child anymore. He'll continue growing up no matter where he is, but I think the experience living in Thailand (or any foreign country) will help him grow. My son is finishing his high school diploma with the full guidance and support of his counselors and teachers back in the US -- they think it's great he has a chance to live in Thailand and don't see any problems with him studying online. Most American high schoolers never have the opportunity to visit, much less live in, a foreign culture. For us that is a big part of him growing up and finishing a suitable education. It's challenging adapting to a new place, an alien culture, and a difficult language, but it's not something to run away from.

Sitting indoors playing video games or staring at computer (or TV) screens is what most teenagers (and many adults) prefer to do. There's not much actual evidence supporting the idea that it's bad, though I prefer he do other things, and that's why I posted here in the first place. Thanks again for the ideas.

No offence meant,

I do wish you good luck a big move. I am sure he will benefit from this. My family all grew up in different places around the world including Ghana, Sierra Leone, Lebanon, Philippines some have moved around but all have benefited from the exposure to living in versatile and different places. Most have returned to live in the Uk but each of them are extremely well rounded and considerate people.

Good luck another thing he might like to try is of course Thai Boxing or Tai Chi both very popular innThailand.

[mike123ca]

If you and your son plan to stay in Thailand for a number of years, I would suggest you get him to learn to speak Thai.

Then he shouldn't have any problems of not having friends.

[Blackandwhite]

Just wondered how things are going ???

[mike123ca]

If you and your son plan to stay in Thailand for a number of years, I would suggest you get him to learn to speak Thai.

Then he shouldn't have any problems of not having friends.

It will make his life much easier here and give him more choices and freedom in the future.

I would send him asap to a language school. He might get to meet some new friends at the school too.

[maccaroni man]

Muay Thai is a great sport for his age group and it will be a great head start if he continues when he moves back to the west.

[lost_in_space]

There is a homeschooling Facebook group "BangkokPlus Homeschooling." You might find some group activities there.

[steveromagnino]

Get him into the following (a list of ideas)

- triathalons (trinerds and various other triathalon groups online all train every week)

- sailing (sailing club at Rama 9 park off Srinakarin or go the whole hog join Varuna Yacht Club and hang out with loads of other expat kids of similar age)

- windsurfing/kite boarding (Pattaya or Hua Hin loads of clubs)

- wake boarding (Taco Lake in Bang Na, loads of kids there too)

- Muay Thai or boxing (sport of kings here and really good for self confidence - if you are in Din Daeng Jitti Gym in Rachada would be close)

- running - regularly go to sports club or parks to run

- volunteer in some activity to help others e.g. English at a local school, start tutoring

- basketball at Thai-Japan

- join one of the billion online facebook community clubs for expats - mostly a little older but still useful e.g. science, movies, etc

- cooking classes

- if he's reasonably decent looking - modelling/acting even extra work

- Learn Thai (meet other students, AUA or similar)

Loads and loads of things to do here beyond walking around shopping centres. Learning Thai I personally think is one of the easiest and most important things that is easy to learn here and very hard to learn somewhere else.

[Showbags]

Let him hang out in paragon shopping centre after school hours and lunchtime...he will thank you for the rest of his life...all the cute chula girls hang out there.

[MobileContent]

I would still say send him to an international school if the budget suits you or move to Nichada Thani so he has access to the kids in his age that study their.

I lived their 8 years before and my step kids (Singaporean) thank me even today for that even if it is already 15 years ago. One work now in the UK and the other for a US company. Both companies are MNC's.

It's not only that your son might have great friends but the friendship is going on for live according to my step kids.

We have now a son of 1 year and we save now already to send him to ISB in Nichada. I also did home schooling with them to supplement their education but ISB is a great experience for any teenage kid, specially for the US Edu systems. The only minus is that it is bloody expensive but it pays of for the kids.

[bkkreed]

We also are looking for friends/activities for two teenage homeschooled boys. They grew up in the Philippines but now live with their American dad in Bangkok. The 15 year old is studying languages, teaching himself German and Russian; he speaks English, Tagalog, and is studying Thai. He's a big reader and loves sports too.

The younger brother also loves to read and draw, speaks English, Tagalog, is studying Thai, loves sports and fun. Your idea of photo field trips and learning to produce videos is terrific.

Thanks to all in this thread for some great ideas.