A True Story, finally told

[villagefarang]

True, the world does not revolve around Chiang Rai, but this forum does, last I heard. Come on, get with the program.

[sceadugenga]

What the hell is wrong with a "Chiangrai Resident" telling us a little story about his experiance in Laos,Indonesia or where ever. The world doesnt revolve around Chiangrai Provence. Come on!!!

For you Gary, I wrote most of this a couple of years back so I hope the formatting behaves.

A few years back I met a Lao girl and set her up in a small flat in Vientiane.

It was handy for the city, about a mile past the Morning Market, an enjoyable walk during the day and an easy tuktuk ride home at night.

One night I went out alone for a few drinks; my girlfriend had gone to Thailand to see her mother and her sister was installed to cook and make sure that I behaved myself.

The couple of hours that I had allowed myself stretched to long after midnight before I flagged a tuktuk, drunkenly negotiated four times the normal fare and headed home. As we turned into the street I saw a crowd of people near the flats and closer inspection revealed an Army unit, a couple of officers, a few policeman looking like curious onlookers and two civilians with automatic weapons.

I hate civilians with automatic weapons.

Pulling the three wheeled taxi up well short of them I paid him off and slinking as quietly and unobtrusively as a nearly two metre, hundred kilogram white man can in Asia headed past the group of warriors to my lane way.

One of the officer’s eyes lit up; smiling broadly he said “are you (my first name)?”

I confessed I was. “Come with me he said” dismissing the Army and Police Force he and the other officer lead the way into nearby vacant land with the heavily armed civilians bringing up the rear. As we approached and entered a stand of trees the thought suddenly occurred to me with utter certainty that they were going to shoot me. I felt not even a twinge of fear, only expectation and almost turned around to see if someone had brought a spade but then we were through the trees and saw the lights of buildings ahead.

They wasted no time presenting me to another officer who looked at me and asked what I was doing in Vientiane.

I had a flat I said and lived quietly and was on good terms with the neighbours.

He knew that but I only had a tourist visa why didn’t I get a business visa?

I nearly said because you lock people up with business visas with but no business, but merely said I wasn’t eligible.

How about a work permit? Same again.

“Well you’re not living out here on a tourist visa”, he said, “get back to the tourist area with the other tourists”.

There was a misunderstanding I said, all the criteria had been met and the Nie Barn had agreed to my residency.

“I’m the Nie Barn” said the arresting officer who had addressed me by name….and he was saluting the guy behind the desk? That made him at least a Lao general. To the uninitiated a Nie Barn is the head of a local government area known as a village. Villages can be quite a large part of a city also and the Nie Barn rules. He is mayor, Supreme Court judge, militia commander and lord high executioner. I found out years later that my girl friend had declined a deal to let me live there that included her sharing his bed a couple of afternoons a week.

The now friendly gunmen lead me back to the flat, accepted a bottle of Mekong Whiskey as a mark of my friendship and I went in to the terrified sister.

[scorpio1945]

What the hell is wrong with a "Chiangrai Resident" telling us a little story about his experiance in Laos,Indonesia or where ever. The world doesnt revolve around Chiangrai Provence. Come on!!!

For you Gary, I wrote most of this a couple of years back so I hope the formatting behaves.

A few years back I met a Lao girl and set her up in a small flat in Vientiane.

It was handy for the city, about a mile past the Morning Market, an enjoyable walk during the day and an easy tuktuk ride home at night.

One night I went out alone for a few drinks; my girlfriend had gone to Thailand to see her mother and her sister was installed to cook and make sure that I behaved myself.

The couple of hours that I had allowed myself stretched to long after midnight before I flagged a tuktuk, drunkenly negotiated four times the normal fare and headed home. As we turned into the street I saw a crowd of people near the flats and closer inspection revealed an Army unit, a couple of officers, a few policeman looking like curious onlookers and two civilians with automatic weapons.

I hate civilians with automatic weapons.

Pulling the three wheeled taxi up well short of them I paid him off and slinking as quietly and unobtrusively as a nearly two metre, hundred kilogram white man can in Asia headed past the group of warriors to my lane way.

One of the officer’s eyes lit up; smiling broadly he said “are you (my first name)?”

I confessed I was. “Come with me he said” dismissing the Army and Police Force he and the other officer lead the way into nearby vacant land with the heavily armed civilians bringing up the rear. As we approached and entered a stand of trees the thought suddenly occurred to me with utter certainty that they were going to shoot me. I felt not even a twinge of fear, only expectation and almost turned around to see if someone had brought a spade but then we were through the trees and saw the lights of buildings ahead.

They wasted no time presenting me to another officer who looked at me and asked what I was doing in Vientiane.

I had a flat I said and lived quietly and was on good terms with the neighbours.

He knew that but I only had a tourist visa why didn’t I get a business visa?

I nearly said because you lock people up with business visas with but no business, but merely said I wasn’t eligible.

How about a work permit? Same again.

“Well you’re not living out here on a tourist visa”, he said, “get back to the tourist area with the other tourists”.

There was a misunderstanding I said, all the criteria had been met and the Nie Barn had agreed to my residency.

“I’m the Nie Barn” said the arresting officer who had addressed me by name….and he was saluting the guy behind the desk? That made him at least a Lao general. To the uninitiated a Nie Barn is the head of a local government area known as a village. Villages can be quite a large part of a city also and the Nie Barn rules. He is mayor, Supreme Court judge, militia commander and lord high executioner. I found out years later that my girl friend had declined a deal to let me live there that included her sharing his bed a couple of afternoons a week.

The now friendly gunmen lead me back to the flat, accepted a bottle of Mekong Whiskey as a mark of my friendship and I went in to the terrified sister.

MORE!

[Big Gary]

True, the world does not revolve around Chiang Rai, but this forum does, last I heard. Come on, get with the program.

Unbelievable. I thought the Chiangrai Forum is for Chiangrai Residents and not restricted to just Chiangrai stories,events etc. Why cant I say anything about another Provence,City, Country, while I am using this particular Forum. I LIVE here and as a lot of people know is that I travel a lot. What you are saying is that I cant share my travel experiences with any one on THIS Chiangrai Forum. You are happy doing that as maybe you dont get out much on your bike and maybe sit on your veranda and look at your view!!!

[villagefarang]

No need to get all upset and make it personal or about me. Write what you will and the mods will either leave it alone or move it somewhere more appropriate as they sometimes do.

It makes sense to me that people might visit this forum looking for topics related to Chiangrai. Of course that is just my opinion and you obviously disagree or don't think I should have an opinion.