GBK Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Married my first wife and it wasn't asked for and wasn't paid. Her sister is still married to an expat and he wasn't asked either. We still get on well and have a grown daughter, but we just couldn't live together. Her father was a small builder, with a handful of blokes working for him, family from Khampaengphet. Years later (7 years ago) married my wife. Her mother died some time ago. Apparently, when she told her father she was marrying a foreigner, he laughed his <deleted> off and asked if I was blind, drunk, or both! WE paid for the wedding and he was ceremoniously presented with a small gold chain, which he returned the following day. He is a professional sportsman. By no means rich. In summary and only my opinion, pay nothing for many of the reasons stated above. Possibly a little something for show that will be returned the next day. And yes, I would definitely make enquiries regarding the fate of her two prior victims husbands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
realenglish1 Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Some people make fun of this but it can be a serious problem First has your wife been married before if she has then there is no double dipping here. She already went down that road. Tell her she has been married before and already received a dowery. If she has not been married and is 40ish then a small dowry is appropriate. It is negotiable and can be anything you and the family agree on . Sometimes they will ask for the moon because they veiw foreigners as rich but once you tell them the reality of your life then you should not have a problem Good luck on your marriage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maprao Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 In Isaan it is always paid because they all sing from the same sheet and Farang are dumb enough to pay. If she is well educated, never been married, no kids then pay. Anything else a fool and his money are soon parted. Place you face in the picture posted here earlier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 In Isaan it is always paid because they all sing from the same sheet and Farang are dumb enough to pay. If she is well educated, never been married, no kids then pay. Anything else a fool and his money are soon parted. Place you face in the picture posted here earlier. The previous two guys no doubt coughed up. Nice little earner for ma & pa eh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ajarnpot Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 weight in gold Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post A1Str8 Posted October 17, 2013 Popular Post Share Posted October 17, 2013 A foreigner is not required to pay sinsot. Sinsot is part of thai culture and we don't have the same rights as thais. So we don't have the same obligations either. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
crazykopite Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 The Thai husband is most probably still alive reaping the rewards from the dead farang who no doubt was poisoned very slowly whilst getting every single baht out of him. When you say wedding it is not official unless you have been to your embassy to make a declaration then this has to be translated and the wedding takes place at your local ampor office. if it is a ceremony with monks followed by food etc this is not an official marriage/wedding a lot of Thais get married this way this happened to a friend of mine who then thought he was married sadly he ended up going back to Germany penniless having seen his wife take him for a ride !!!!!!!!!! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cuban Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 No. They need to pay you. If you pay you will be reamed for the rest of your life ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdmayes Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robhufton Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 mate, my sin sot was the cost of the wedding & reception. Same for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostinisaan Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 I'd only pay money to them if she's still a VIRGIN. Hope you're not really that naive. Your post seems to be written by a little boy. You'll be her third husband only. Great.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mdmayes Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 "black widow" Need i say more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jasun Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Someone seriously needs to build an online sin sod calculator or app, complete with all the variables such as income, social status, marriage history and gullibility of the groom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgs2001uk Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 wind up. The op has not responded. So most likely just trolling a fun topic Give him a chance ... if you look at the time of the posting, he could be in a different time zone to you or me. Different time zone, different planet more like. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 wind up. The op has not responded. So most likely just trolling a fun topic Give him a chance ... if you look at the time of the posting, he could be in a different time zone to you or me. Different time zone, different planet more like. Or has his head in his hands. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shaurene Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Hi Winnie Now, your G/F is not young been married 2 times, a Thai who would not have paid anything and a Falange who would have paid something so the parents have had a cut. If she was young late teens early- mid 20s and never been married with no children ok expect to pay something and if she was a village girl I would say 100-200k. My G/F was 39 married before for 12 yrs to Lazy, drunk Thai, 3 children 14yrs girl, 18yr boy and 24 yr boy. Girls are looked on as the bread winners so the dowry is to help cover the family living expenses. But you would be expected to take care of the family even if you pay a dowry. I am against this and do not believe in paying a dowry. I discussed this with my lady and she said it is a lot to the Mamma so her friends and local villagers can see the gifts and money. I came to a de al and said I will put 400k in the pot with some bits of gold but I want it back after the party, her Mamma and her agreed to this and after the party I received every I baht back and every one was happy. So mate discuss this as you are buying a second hand item. Tell her you will look after the family and do not give in to paying. Hope this helps. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
belg Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 0 baht, 0 satang, old goods she should be paying you 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mtimmu Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 mate, my sin sot was the cost of the wedding & reception. width=25 alt=thumbsup.gif> i think this same, i am going to get married this year, but wedding will be later... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winstonc Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 just say you have parents yourself ,who you have to pay for...end of....if she loves you she would be just happy to have you..dead..with her...you are getting shop soiled remember...harsh but true....get a yougun with no baggage...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David48 Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Give him a chance ... if you look at the time of the posting, he could be in a different time zone to you or me. Different time zone, different planet more like. Or has his head in his hands. transam ... they say a wine improves with maturity ... your comment did make me smile ... ... subtle use of the Queens English ... . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Give him a chance ... if you look at the time of the posting, he could be in a different time zone to you or me. Different time zone, different planet more like. Or has his head in his hands. transam ... they say a wine improves with maturity ... your comment did make me smile ... ... subtle use of the Queens English ... . I do try. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
givenall Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Are we still counting and listings scams. This the biggest of all. You pay this then you will pay again and agaiif you n and,,,,,,,,,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
khunjerrybkk Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Please make an appointment to see a Registered Doctor of Psychology before you think about your question of Sin Sod further. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atyclb Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Why buy the milk company when ya can go to the 7-11 and get fresh milk? Ya should heed the advise on the forum, ... best ya get out of your situation and come to Pattaya, meet some foreigniers in your culture and listen to their ventures of marrIage and get educated...but ya must go through the fire and hell to see heaven, I did...up to you. Good luck but make the deal in your best interest.... That's a bit overly cynical as she may be a lovely person and they may truly love each other. The "fresh milk analogy" I'm sure is applicable to some people and not to others. I have a very nice Thai female friend in her 40's with a lovely child. She is a laser surgeon and very outside the box and worldly. I would never think about the "fresh milk" analogy pertaining to our friendship. I have no desire to get married but if I did it would be without sinsot or perhaps just a photoshopped check to display. IMO in the OP's situation, sin sot in non applicable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atyclb Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 0 baht, 0 satang, old goods she should be paying you Actually in thai society this could be true, especially if you are considered of higher socio-economic-educational status. Actually not uncommon as I know of cases of women paying for the company of Thai boyfriends / men. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YeaBiGgiEs Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Well from what I have read in the past without reading any of these posts, it is thai culture customs that you do pay a tribute to the family of the person you wed. Although I don't recall there being any exceptions to second, third or more marriages. If that were the case then females would marry and divorce as means of income and family support. In other words the custom would be abused for monetary gain. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayayay Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 (edited) You should most likely not pay anything at all. She is already old, has married many times before, and her parents and herself know this. So if they demand a sin sot, they are probably trying to scam you. Tell them politely, that she is already 40 years old, and married many times before. So you already know you should not pay anything. Edited October 17, 2013 by ayayay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Munger Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Why do you ask us? Ask HER, and ask HER PARENTS if they expect anything and how much that would be. If the parents quote an unreasonable amount, turn the issue around and say: "In my country it is customary that the parents of a woman who's already been married twice before pay the future husband a token of gratitude for taking her off their hands a third time. And by the way, my fee is exactly double of what you have just quoted me. So, when can I expect the money?" If I were you, I also would inquire about the demise of her previous farang husband. If she claims, "he fell off the condo balcony" or "my first Thai husband didn't like him", run as fast as you can! Frankly..you might be the only Farang in Thailand willing to be number 3 husband and still pay sin sot. Nah, not correct. go to Pattaya and you will find a city full of fools paying sin sod for old scrubbers who have had a collection of husbands. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 Why do you ask us? Ask HER, and ask HER PARENTS if they expect anything and how much that would be. If the parents quote an unreasonable amount, turn the issue around and say: "In my country it is customary that the parents of a woman who's already been married twice before pay the future husband a token of gratitude for taking her off their hands a third time. And by the way, my fee is exactly double of what you have just quoted me. So, when can I expect the money?" If I were you, I also would inquire about the demise of her previous farang husband. If she claims, "he fell off the condo balcony" or "my first Thai husband didn't like him", run as fast as you can! Frankly..you might be the only Farang in Thailand willing to be number 3 husband and still pay sin sot. Nah, not correct. go to Pattaya and you will find a city full of fools paying sin sod for old scrubbers who have had a collection of husbands. , sad to say you are probably right, the one time l went there l can see your point. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yourauntbob Posted October 17, 2013 Share Posted October 17, 2013 I have told my girlfriend very frankly,if she wants me to pay sin sot because its her culture; then i want her family to pay for the entire wedding to satisfy my culture. I start listing the relatives that would require a plane ticket. it didnt take long before she said "we do it our own style" to which i happily agreed. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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