Thai insensitivity continues..

[David48]

What I am getting from the OP is that his wife stood up for him (whether or not he is a fat farang is immaterial).

She's a keeper.

I must admit, I try and look for the positive and could think of one until this comment ... thanks.

For your wife to 'stand up' for you against her Mother should be commended and possibly that action rewarded. Particularly when this was done in public.

Is it "... wrong for wife to shoot it back at her." ... maybe, but that also is testament to the frustration your wife felt towards her mother.

That takes balls great courage for a Thai Daughter.

the wife and the old hag are not related

Spot on ... my bad ...

I read "Anyways, granny lost her knickers and had a shouting match with wife." and made the mental link.

Thanks for pointing that out ...

.

[Beetlejuice]

Perhaps the OP is fat and maybe a lot older than his Thai wife and looks it?

Some Thai people think this is repugnant.

Just saying, that`s all.

[cgphuket]

You need to remember that many Thais (especially the ones who run the country) have the mentality of a 12-year old child, and kids can be cruel.

[mca]

I was in a lift the other day and this kid of about 4 got in with his mum. Clocked me on the journey, turned to his mum and ( I thought "Wait for it" ) said in Thai "Mum the westerners got a big body"

Made my day as I've put on a bit of weight recently ( 6 foot 2 and pushing 14 stone) and he could have called me a fat <deleted>.

[Nautilus05]

Perhaps the OP is fat and maybe a lot older than his Thai wife and looks it?

Some Thai people think this is repugnant.

Just saying, that`s all.

Doesn't matter. She should to keep her opinion to herself.

One of the many reasons I enjoy Thailand, is that on the whole, people keep their opinions to themselves. I much prefer that to the West, where it's filled with egotistical know-it-allls who never run out of opinions.

Unfortunately, old Thai ladies seem to be excluded from this little rule. I've even had one giving me hell before because according to her, I didn't phone my mom enough. I didn't know who she even was, but she sure was giving me hell.

[JoeThePoster]

Yes there is much insensitivity here.

The other day on an elevator, some Thais holding a very chubby and shall I say UGLY baby. The baby is looking at me. I am smiling at the baby trying to be a sport.

The baby starts crying. Oh well!

The Thais then start insulting me: calling me fat (in Thai), calling me UGLY (in English).

Wow.

Yes I know Thais call people fat all the time but this was malicious.

It's like being regarded as a thing with absolutely no feelings.

They called you fat because you were blocking the child from pressing the door close buttons. I'd say you got off lightly there. Then you topped it by smiling! Ugly farang indeed, everyone knows only Thais can do a proper smile.

[Beetlejuice]

Perhaps the OP is fat and maybe a lot older than his Thai wife and looks it?

Some Thai people think this is repugnant.

Just saying, that`s all.

Doesn't matter. She should to keep her opinion to herself.

One of the many reasons I enjoy Thailand, is that on the whole, people keep their opinions to themselves. I much prefer that to the West, where it's filled with egotistical know-it-allls who never run out of opinions.

Unfortunately, old Thai ladies seem to be excluded from this little rule. I've even had one giving me hell before because according to her, I didn't phone my mom enough. I didn't know who she even was, but she sure was giving me hell.

So an old lady who you claim to not know scolded you for not phoning your mother enough. Perhaps these old Thai ladies have psychic powers?

As for keeping one`s opinions to themselves, it appears plenty on here have many opinions to share, most of them totally negative about what seems to be their daily struggles with the Thais and living in Thailand.

It appears that so many farangs in Thailand these days have plenty to gripe about, nothing here seems to please them. Their lives must be one form of living hell and suffering here in the LOS, only in their cases Thailand is not the LOS, but more of a LOG, land of gloom.

[jackr]

Perhaps the OP is fat and maybe a lot older than his Thai wife and looks it?

Some Thai people think this is repugnant.

Just saying, that`s all.

Who cares if he's half a ton and 99... the rub is the bannork that made the comment is a lower-classed lump of trash.

How's that for an opinion?

[MrWorldwide]

Not exactly sure why a group of people who delight in putting others down should feel offended when Thais do the same to them. At the start of the latest Patts thread, many of us were being openly called sex tourists/sexpats and barflies - by the end, someone had added 'pedo' to the list. By comparison, 'fat and ugly' seem pretty tame to my way of thinking

Edited October 19, 2013 by MrWorldwide

[WitawatWatawit]

Maybe I live in a different world to some of you, but I find that compared to 20-odd years ago, the number of insults I hear directed at me has actually decreased. One of the first Thai expressions I learnt was "farang men". When I moved to an area of Bangkok 22 years ago where farangs were few and far between, I used to hear that frequently. Along with a lot of other insults, some of which left me in a homicidal frame of mind - one smartass b*tch at a temporary stall thought it was very funny to insult and harrass the farang all the way into my regular chicken shop, causing the owner to chase her out with a bloody great meat cleaver. She was playing up to some motosai guys, a couple of whom were clearly embarrassed by her behaviour and who later became very friendly towards me and my family. But all that eventually waned, and today on the darkside I experience virtually nothing in the way of insults or rude behaviour. A couple of minor incidents over in Pattaya, but hey, that's not the real Thailand.

[mca]

Perhaps the OP is fat and maybe a lot older than his Thai wife and looks it?

Some Thai people think this is repugnant.

Just saying, that`s all.

Doesn't matter. She should to keep her opinion to herself.

One of the many reasons I enjoy Thailand, is that on the whole, people keep their opinions to themselves. I much prefer that to the West, where it's filled with egotistical know-it-allls who never run out of opinions.

Unfortunately, old Thai ladies seem to be excluded from this little rule. I've even had one giving me hell before because according to her, I didn't phone my mom enough. I didn't know who she even was, but she sure was giving me hell.

Maybe she was your mum?

Edited October 19, 2013 by mca

[NewlyMintedThai]

Maybe it's farang over-sensitivity that's in the rise.

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[Somtamnication]

Yep, wife's a keeper. She has owned my heart for 13 years and love her dearly. She is fiercely protective of HER family. Kudos to her.

As another poster put it, it was a slur, and it was uncalled for and yes, I am pretty a big guy.

I think some posters here are a bit jaded about Thai-farang marriages and are a miserable bunch. Just sayin'.

[trainman34014]

I took it from the title that you were doing some thing to stop it. But no one would listen to you.

Good thing there is no Thai word for lard ass.

or ''Gut Bucket''

[Loptr]

Maybe it's farang over-sensitivity that's in the rise.

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

Nonsense. When is it acceptable behavior to insult a total stranger? Perhaps it is ok in your bubble, but not mine. When i am aware that someone has insulted me, I take great pleasure in smiling, looking directly into their eyes and ripping them a new arse in a language they don't understand. The look on their faces is priceless as they have no idea what I'm saying, just as they assumed I did not understand a word they said.

[NewlyMintedThai]

Maybe it's farang over-sensitivity that's in the rise.

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

 

Nonsense. When is it acceptable behavior to insult a total stranger? Perhaps it is ok in your bubble, but not mine. When i am aware that someone has insulted me, I take great pleasure in smiling, looking directly into their eyes and ripping them a new arse in a language they don't understand. The look on their faces is priceless as they have no idea what I'm saying, just as they assumed I did not understand a word they said. 

Why don't you rip them a new arse in their own language if you're such a master of it?

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[zeichen]

I actually don't see what the grandma did wrong. I think that the OP's wife was absolutely rude and sounds like she should learn some manners.

The grandmother was speaking to her own kid and commenting about a stranger. Who doesn't do that. The OP's wife overheard but perhaps the old lady didn't know that they were together. She might not have done it. People often feel free to talk in their native language when someone might not understand them.

Truth be told, the old fat white guy in the pool was something that she found worth commenting on. What is the big deal? I probably would have thought the same thing depending on how big the OP is. I though wouldn't say anything.

I do think that it is good that his wife does defend her family, however I don't think this situation warrants that. What threat is an old woman? I guess if the OP's wife isn't Thai then I could accept her behavior but very un Thai and improper to scold an older person. I ignore the old and ignorant and feel pity for them rather than confront them.

I am sorry that this event ruined the OP's time swimming, which to me is the big tragedy.

[StreetCowboy]

I think politeness is the answer. If their vulgarity tempts you to follow suit, then obviously your politeness may do the same.

Perhaps a comment from your wife along the lines of "He's fat, but not deaf" might have been more calming

SC

Edited October 19, 2013 by StreetCowboy

[bigbamboo]

I think politeness is the answer. If their vulgarity tempts you to follow suit, then obviously your politeness may do the same.

Perhaps a comment from your wife along the lines of "He's fat, but not deaf" might have been more calming

SC

She should have said, "He's fat...... but he's SO rich!"

Now that would have really pissed her off.

[Thai at Heart]

I actually don't see what the grandma did wrong. I think that the OP's wife was absolutely rude and sounds like she should learn some manners.

The grandmother was speaking to her own kid and commenting about a stranger. Who doesn't do that. The OP's wife overheard but perhaps the old lady didn't know that they were together. She might not have done it. People often feel free to talk in their native language when someone might not understand them.

Truth be told, the old fat white guy in the pool was something that she found worth commenting on. What is the big deal? I probably would have thought the same thing depending on how big the OP is. I though wouldn't say anything.

I do think that it is good that his wife does defend her family, however I don't think this situation warrants that. What threat is an old woman? I guess if the OP's wife isn't Thai then I could accept her behavior but very un Thai and improper to scold an older person. I ignore the old and ignorant and feel pity for them rather than confront them.

I am sorry that this event ruined the OP's time swimming, which to me is the big tragedy.

I'll try your strategy next time I'm in the lift with a few Thai guys.

I'll mutter something in Thai under my breath about them, and stand back and wait to see their reaction. Its not OK to walk around verbally abusing people and expect them not to react.

The old dear should learn not to be quite so derogatory. I suppose he could have made a comeback to the grandma asking if her daughter was too busy to watch her kid because she was pole dancing maybe?

[NewlyMintedThai]

Calling someone fat, or saying they are a "white giant" in this case, does not carry the same level of insult as it does in the West.

People here remark about appearances in a much franker manner here. It's a different culture, remember.

In any case, if no insult or malice or insult was intended --as I doubt it was -- none should be taken.

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[StreetCowboy]

Calling someone fat, or saying they are a "white giant" in this case, does not carry the same level of insult as it does in the West.

People here remark about appearances in a much franker manner here. It's a different culture, remember.

In any case, if no insult or malice or insult was intended --as I doubt it was -- none should be taken.

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

If it was intended, then all the more reason not to take it.

Why be offended at the outbursts of the rude and ill-mannered?

Perhaps you should trawl the annals of our forum for the topic on Tourette's sufferers. Arse.

SC

[NewlyMintedThai]

What? I haven't used profanity.

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[StreetCowboy]

What? I haven't used profanity.

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

Exactly. And my lack of vocabulary or vulgar outburst is a failing on my part which more educated or disciplined people ought to be able to refrain from copying. Tit for tat is sometimes called escalation, but it is escalation downwards, and bears credit on no-one.

SC

[NewlyMintedThai]

I have no idea what you're trying to say.

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[Samaaw]

Things to remember:

1) Don't make issues with locals - we are all outsiders no matter what our circumsatances are here

2) Ignore what they say - less issues in the long run

3) Remember they are a "simple" people, most are still in some rural rice area and they don't know better - they are primitive and one has to remember this

4) They are rather childish and know only Thailand as their little world - they are not used to the BIGGER picture in life

5) You cannot reason with Thai's - they mostly think they are right and even when wrong or proven wrong, they still wont admit it - to save their "face"

SHAME

[DonaldBattles]

Have you ever heard a Thai truly say I am sorry?

[samran]

Have you ever heard a Thai truly say I am sorry?

Often. But then again, I choose my company a bit more wisely by the sounds of it than many here...

[samran]

Calling someone fat, or saying they are a "white giant" in this case, does not carry the same level of insult as it does in the West.

People here remark about appearances in a much franker manner here. It's a different culture, remember.

In any case, if no insult or malice or insult was intended --as I doubt it was -- none should be taken.

Sent from my iPhone using ThaiVisa app

Names used on me and my siblings when younger

Sister 1: Kung haeng (dried shrimp)

sister 2: Sala-pao ( steamed pork bun)

My mother still refers to me as Kwai, given I was nearly 10lb when i was born, and she isn't much more herself.

'Yak' is hardly problematic.

[Suradit69]

Yes there is much insensitivity here.

The other day on an elevator, some Thais holding a very chubby and shall I say UGLY baby. The baby is looking at me. I am smiling at the baby trying to be a sport.

The baby starts crying. Oh well!

The Thais then start insulting me: calling me fat (in Thai), calling me UGLY (in English).

Wow.

Yes I know Thais call people fat all the time but this was malicious.

It's like being regarded as a thing with absolutely no feelings.

"Yes there is much insensitivity here."

It certainly abounds on Thai Visa.

There are crude, insensitive boors everywhere. If another American said something unpleasant to you, you'd probably respond to him/her as an individual rather than try to make it out as some universal American trait.

Sensitivity for others, or more accurately the practice of keeping unpleasant thoughts to oneself, usually relates to educational levels and social skills rather than nationality. If someone wants to generalize about Thais, I'd say they remain remarkably reticent about making comments on the behavior and appearance of farang despite what they may be thinking. Sensitivity to what others say about you probably reflects on your own feelings of self worth or inadequacy.

Per usual here at the hub of Us versus Them, anything that one or even a few Thais do is immediately labeled a Thai cultural standard. Despite the near epidemic obesity in the US, fat people there are subject to endless abuse and the butt of jokes. Actually anyone in America who doesn't fit the white Anglo Saxon Christian, slim, blindingly white toothed, tanned, coifed, heterosexual mythical standard is fodder for cutting comments from one source or another. Whether any individual American puts those thoughts into words or not, says more about his/her social skills than nationality. The same applies to Thais, Germans, Brits, and so on.

Edited October 20, 2013 by Suradit69